This story was written as a pinch-hit for Ori in The DG Forum Fic Exchange - Summer 2017. I actually wrote this one while sick with a fever and massively sleep-deprived (hence, haikus seemed like a great idea at the time), but I have to admit I have a soft spot for it myself. I know people were hoping I would expand on it, and I really would love to do so since it's such a fun idea, but I'm afraid that's also just not feasible. If you've seen my fanfic profile, you'll know I have many works in progress, and trying to make time for yet another fic would drive me more bonkers than I already am.
In any case, I hope you enjoy this little one-shot! The prompt is listed at the end.
Sweating in the sun
It's a race to be the first
Malfoy is a git
The desert sun is hot and Draco Malfoy is smirking.
"You're late," he says casually.
Far, far too casually.
Ginny sticks her nose in the air. "Please, I let you have this one. Didn't you know? Biggle's Bombastic Broom Bash was going on in Cairo today. I thought I'd pop in and see the race before I came here."
His smirk widens. He knows she's lying. He can probably see the sweat seeping through her clothes—sadly, not even the cooling charms managed to hold it off—and the flush of exertion on her cheeks. She had wanted to be the one to open the tomb; to shove it in his smug, stupid face that she is the better Curse-Breaker. But he and his mouse of a partner got there first. Ugh.
"Sure thing, Weasley," he says.
He enters the tomb after that, strutting like the King of Smug Land strutting on an equally smug carpet. Double ugh. Her stomach curdles like there's something sour festering inside her.
"Should we follow?" her partner, Perry, asks in deference to her as the senior Curse-Breaker.
Ginny balls her hands into fists. "Next time we are getting there first."
Perry swallows and tries to fade into the sand—a losing battle since he is over six foot and his skin is the colour of onyx. Then again, she is looking particularly murderous. Ginny brushes past him and stomps down the opening to where Malfoy and his partner disappeared.
She'll show that smug git. No way is she going to let him get the best of her again.
A mouse asks for help
Where are the maidens so fair?
It feels so slimy
Ginny thinks she should try to remember the mouse's name. Malfoy's partner is just so small and nondescript that "mouse" seems to fit him better: a little man with mousy brown hair that covers his eyes and a round, little everything else. She thinks his name starts with a D, but she can't be sure. Maybe it is a B. Either way, the man is alone and very upset. He makes nervous gestures with his hands as he speaks.
"And so the frogs came—"
"Hold on, Douglas," Perry cuts in. "Frogs?"
That's his name! Douglas. She even got the first letter right. Hi-five to her!
Douglas presses his hands to his pink face and confesses that he accidentally set off a curse that brought a plague of poisonous frogs. Malfoy stopped the plague before it could reach the neighbouring village, but—
"Oh, so he needs my help cleaning things up, does he?" Ginny says with a glint in her eyes. "Is that why he sent you here? Couldn't bring himself to come and ask me himself? Typical."
Douglas tilts his head. "Uh—"
She waves her hand like a queen deigning to acknowledge the lowliest of subjects. "By all means, lead the way. I'll help Malfoy out just this once." Her smile flashes into play. "Perry and I have already finished up removing the traps at our site anyway."
"R-right," Douglas says.
Perry facepalms.
They reach the temple where Malfoy and Douglas got assigned to clear away all the potential booby traps for the incoming investigative team. The structure is rundown and overgrown with jungle foliage. A few monkeys play on the vines. Brightly-coloured butterflies flutter by on purple and yellow wings. There are no frogs.
"So," Ginny says, eyeing the area for a glimpse of platinum blond. "Where's Malfoy?"
Douglas points to a rock that is clearly being protected by a magical barrier. A bright green frog is perched on the rock. Ginny stares. Then she moves closer, narrows her eyes, catches a hint of snootiness in the frog's expression.
"No way!" she cries with delight. "You got turned into a frog!"
Frogfoy, as she decides to call him, gives her a dour look. He can't talk, so he also can't make a comeback. This tickles her so much that she starts laughing until tears come out of her eyes and she has to clutch her stomach for support so she doesn't fall over. Frogfoy is even less impressed. He gives a bulbous-eyed glare at Douglas as if to ask how the mouse had dared to betray him in this way.
"Sorry, Malfoy," Douglas mumbles. "I just wasn't sure what else to do."
Ginny wipes the tears from her eyes. "You couldn't just transfigure him back?" she asks in a more sober voice.
Much as she is entertained by Frogfoy's predicament, she is still a professional and won't actually leave him in a lurch if push comes to shove. That's not part of the Curse-Breaker code.
Douglas explains that there was a curse hidden within the first one—a double curse of sorts. When Malfoy ended the plague, he turned into a frog. It was as simple as that. No counter-spells, charms or potions had worked on him so far.
Ginny is not smiling now. She's actually kind of worried, even though she won't admit it aloud. "Are there any records?" she asks. "Any writings left by the creator to give us a clue for how the curse was designed?"
Douglas nods and shows them a photograph he took from inside the temple. She sees writing etched onto a stone tablet; it's all in Classical Nahautl and laid out in a riddle, but Ginny and Perry have no trouble deciphering the words. They've been trained for this. Her brow furrows as she reads the message again, just to make sure she got it right. It seems the person who created the curse had a sense of humour. A very annoying sense of humour.
"That's why you came to us," Perry says, also catching on. "You need Ginny."
Both men and the frog look at her. She glowers back at them and folds her arms across her chest.
"Oh, thanks," she says sarcastically. "So you don't need me for my brains, huh? Just my maidenly lips."
Douglas gives her a sheepish look. "Well, you are the only witch in the area right now."
Frogfoy would no doubt have made a teasing comment then if he could, probably to question her brains and whether she could even be considered a "maiden". The fact he can't—that he can only stare at her with his froggy face—makes her feel a bit weird. It's like waiting for a punchline to a joke that never comes. Malfoy is a git, but at least he makes things more interesting.
She frowns and pulls out her wand. "Alright," she says. "Let's get this over with so Frogfoy can return to being his horrible, pointy-faced self."
Frogfoy gives her what might have passed for a frog version of flipping her off. She grins and lowers the barrier protecting him. It's gross to think of kissing a frog, but she picks him up all the same. A Curse-Breaker's gotta do what a Curse-Breaker's gotta do. Their eyes meet for a moment and then she presses her lips to his own wet, froggy ones.
And it's pretty much like kissing slime. Yuck.
There's a flash of light, a pop, but the frog in her hands does not get bigger. Instead, Ginny finds herself falling onto a log with a bright green frog. She ribbits.
"Bloody hell," Perry groans. "Now my partner is a frog."
All the colour drains from Douglas's face. "Oh dear," he says. "Maybe there was a curse within a curse within a curse."
Perr y just facepalms.
Malfoy wants the goss
Balancing on a column
I don't like bird poop
"So, who was it?"
Ginny frowns at the odd question. "Who was who?"
"The guy," Malfoy says, waving his hand.
Both tense when a bit of the rock crumbles. He lowers his hand slowly, as if he's worried he'll trigger another tremor. She presses her back more into his and they both edge their feet away from the chasm that surrounds them. This poop-splattered column upon which they sit is all that is stopping them from plummeting to a nasty death. Ginny will never admit it aloud, but she's grateful for Malfoy's solid presence. Still, his line of questioning confuses her. When she asks him to explain, he refers to the last time the four of them teamed up together—or what she dubs The Great Frog Debacle.
"You couldn't break the curse because you weren't a real maiden," he reminds her, and she just knows by his tone that he's smirking when he says "real".
She rolls her eyes. Right. As it turns out, they'd all translated the riddle wrong and the word they'd thought best suited for "maiden" was, in fact, just a "pure" person. A.K.A. virgin. In the end, Mouse—er, Douglas—had kissed both Draco and Ginny to make them human again; he'd been the only one who hadn't had his virginal petals deflowered.
"Are you seriously asking me about the guys I've had sex with now?" she demands.
"Ah, so there's more than one."
She flushes. "You don't need to sound so surprised!"
He shrugs. Again, they both tense as the rock crumbles a little underneath them.
"Try not to kill us, Malfoy," she grits out.
His back shifts against hers. She can feel his muscles through the thin cotton of his shirt. It reminds her that he actually has a nice body for a pointy-faced git; it also reminds her how long it has been since she was last with a guy (spoiler: it's been so long that it feels like her knickers now cover No Man's Land).
"I'm just curious," he says, once the tremors settle down. "You act like such a male repellent normally that I was sure most guys would flee rather than risk being with you."
"Ha ha bloody ha."
There's a pause as if Malfoy is waiting for a better comeback. She doesn't supply one.
"So," he prompts, "who was it? Don't tell me it was Potter."
She rolls her eyes at his persistence. "And if it was?"
"Then I'd feel sorry for you. I hear he's terrible in bed."
Ginny can't help the snort that escapes her lips. "It wasn't Harry," she admits.
Malfoy turns his head a little. "Then who?"
She opens her mouth to reply when something lands on her cheek. It feels a bit warm and trickles down her skin. Cringing, she raises her head to see one of the flesh-eating birds that inhabit the ruins swooping right for them. More of the foul creatures follow, dropping their stinky little droppings everywhere.
"Crap," she says.
Oh, man. That pun was not intended.
Malfoy asks her what is wrong. Ginny tells him he'll have to figure out for himself who took her virginity, as they're about to become bird feed. She grips her knife—knowing her wand to be useless thanks to the Anti-Spell ward—and prepares to fend off their attackers. It's scary how the column rocks and crumbles. Ginny kind of wishes she knew how Voldemort had once flapped around like a snake-faced bat; being able to fly without a broom would be great right now.
The fight drags on. Ginny and Draco are both more than a match for the stupid birds, even without spells, but there are still only two of them and many, many more of their feathered pain in the necks. In short, by the time Douglas and Perry finally show up with brooms to help them get around the Anti-Apparation and Spell wards to escape, both Ginny and Draco are covered in bird poop, scratches and pecks. Neither looks happy.
"You so owe us," Ginny growls. "This is the last time I put myself on the line to save your sorry arses!"
Malfoy doesn't say anything, but the glare he directs at his partner, combined with the poop splattered on his face and hair, makes Douglas flinch. The mousy man offers, if rather feebly, that he's good with cleaning charms. The fact that they're all aware he can't cast it thanks to the Anti-Spell ward makes Perry facepalm.
"Let's just get that bloody artefact," Malfoy says between clenched teeth.
No one argues.
Ice cream on his lips
Uh-oh, my heart is pounding
Is this where we kiss?
She finds him shirtless and eating ice cream on the beach. It surprises her to see him outside of curse breaking, and she teases him by asking if he's trying to work on his tan. Malfoy rolls his eyes. They both know that, no matter how much he is out in the sun, his skin will stay a stubborn, pasty white. She's pretty much the same, in truth, but her freckles help to disguise the fact.
"What flavour is that?" she asks, sitting next to him and gesturing at his ice cream.
It's pretty impressive looking: smooth, chocolate brown with ripples of red and has what looks like gumdrops and chocolate chunks packed all through it. Malfoy raises his eyebrow at the fact she just invited herself to sit down, but he doesn't tell her to go away. Instead, he takes another lick of his ice cream.
"Cauldron Explosion," he says without batting an eyelash.
She snorts. "Seriously? You're like a little kid."
He shrugs and says it tastes good, so he doesn't care what she thinks of his choice. Ginny grabs his hand and tugs it towards her so she can try the ice cream for herself. His eyes widen in outrage as she takes a big bite, complete with a gumdrop.
"Mm," she says, licking her lips. "Sweet."
Malfoy snatches his ice cream back from her. "Keep your freckly, thieving hands to yourself, Weasley. This is my ice cream."
She laughs and rolls onto her stomach so that she's lying beside him. His gaze darts downward—only for a moment—but it gives away the fact he's just stared at her tits. Ginny is surprised that she is not at all displeased. Then again, she supposes her strappy bikini doesn't cover much; if she'd cared about guys checking her out, she would have worn a jumpsuit. At least Malfoy is attractive and doesn't make a gross comment to go with his perving. In fact, he looks quite dashing in his swim shorts: all lean muscle and wet droplets on bare skin. She wouldn't mind licking some of that either…
Wait, what?
"Are you here with someone?" she finds herself asking, even as she fights the heat that rises to her cheeks.
It occurs to her she is fishing. They've touched on her love life before—still as single as the lone sock spotted in a gutter—but he's never said a word about his. Not once.
"I was," he answers. "They're all off chatting up girls."
They're. Not her.
Ginny flashes a grin. "Are you saying you passed up flirting with hot girls in bikinis so you can eat Cauldron Explosion ice cream?"
Malfoy meets her eyes. "I'm talking to you now, aren't I?" He takes a pointed lick. "Besides, it tastes good."
Her heart thumps a little faster in her chest. Did he just allude that he thinks she's hot? Should she even trust his words? He's always so teasing, but all she can think is that there's ice cream on his lips and it's an awfully taunting image. It doesn't help that he's still holding her gaze.
Your move, he seems to say.
Ginny sits up so they're at eye level. "I can't quite remember the taste," she says, her voice huskier than normal. "Care to remind me?"
She expects him to shut her down—to pop the balloon of attraction that is steadily growing within her, as is his normal routine. Instead he leans forward and, with no hesitation at all, places his lips on hers. Draco Malfoy is kissing her. Her heart flutters even faster. He tastes like chocolate and raspberry ripple, and she can't help but thread her fingers in his damp hair, indulging in the sweetness and lazy pleasure of it all. There's something so relaxed and natural about kissing him, even though she never dreamt until today that such a thing could happen.
When he pulls back, her eyes are still closed and it takes her a moment to come back to earth. Kind of happens when one is snogged senseless.
"Well?" he prompts.
Ginny licks her lips and smiles. "Sweet."
His mouth curves into an answering smile. Needless to say, there are many more kisses shared between them that day.
Tying up loose ends
In haiku because I can
This is omake
"So, who was the guy?"
"Are you still going on about that?"
"I'm curious."
She rolls her eyes. "Fine. It was Oliver Wood."
"What? You lost your virginity to Wood?"
"What can I say?" She shrugs. "He has a nice broomstick."
…
"That was a pun, wasn't it?"
"Yeah."
"It wasn't even Wood, was it?"
"Nope."
Somewhere in the world, a wizard named Perry facepalms.
THE END
Ori's Prompt:
Basic premise: Draco and Ginny are curse breakers that travel the world one upping each other.
Must haves: Fun work rivalry. They are secretly great partners.
No-no's: Harry or Ron bashing. Kids and babies. Draco and Ginny are friends from the start. Smut.
Rating range: K-T
Bonus points: as many of the following as possible - snow, desert, jungle, beach, mountain