A/N: Oh. My Goddess. It's my twentieth drabble! -dances- Alright, so I've written drabbles/one-shots where Naruto's wanted to forget Sasuke (i.e. Who Knew), drabbles/one-shots where Naruto's completely focused on bringing Sasuke back, but I haven't written one where Naruto's focused on remembering. So from that idea/realization I finally got off my lazy ass and wrote this. Oh, and major, major kudos/thanks to Chrissy, who supplied the line that was the inspiration for this whole thing - "I'll cry when there's nothing left to lose." Gah! Where would I be without her? Still only with nineteen drabbles/one-shots on this page. -glomps Chrissy-
I'm staring at his photograph again. It's one that fluttered out of Sakura's wallet one day. She doesn't seem to miss it, and I never questioned how she got it. Some things are better left unsaid. Some feelings are better left behind a mask.
It's funny. With how often I've stared at his photograph, you'd think I'd be able to draw a perfect portrait of him with my eyes closed. And yet... I trace his features every day with my fingers. I memorize every last detail, until his image is embedded into my eyelids. Still, his dark eyes, his scowl, his ridiculous looking hair, it all fades before the day is over.
So I find myself back here, at first only a few minutes. It hurt to look at him. It still hurts. But every time I find myself back here, even though it feels like only a few minutes have passed, when I look up I discover that hours have past. Hours spent wondering, wanting, wishing. Hours hoping for something, anything.
And despite the fact it hurts to look at him, here I am. Again - because, if the pain goes away, I'm afraid that I'll forget him. I'd rather face this pain a thousand fold than forget him. That's why I'm here daily. That's why I disappear from the world and lose track of time.
I'm afraid of losing these memories. Now, these memories are all that I have left of him. I'm not going to let them walk away, not after I had to endure him walking away. I won't lose these memories.
I'll cry when there's nothing left to lose.
...
Dammit, Sasuke. Where are you?