Title: Mall Madness
Author: Red (xlitt1er3d)
Rating: PG
Summary: Bored the Twins decided to have some fun.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the Matrix or the Twins.
Note: This is one shot thing, it's meant to be fun and silly. Written at Lost's request, based from a role play thread. This is an edited version to fix the mistakes of the first.


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The city, everywhere filled with people moving about trying to pass each other. Getting on with their lives. Not knowing what moved amongst them. However that sunny winter day some of those that walked amongst them were walking. Or doing a whole lot of anything at that moment, they were bored. They hadn't moved most of the day. It was beginning to get to them finally. There was only so long that even a program could do nothing. One gave a sigh. Two pointedly glared at his brother. That must have been the fifth time in the last few minutes. He knew exactly what to expect next.

"I'm bored."

"I know you are, I am too. We're bored. We're stuck here. Get on with it."

Another sigh from One, Two closed his eyes behind his sunglasses, his brother was getting predictable.

"What time is it?"

"Look at your watch. I'm not the bloody speaking clock." Two shouted at One who just stared as if Two had finally lost it before he looked away.

The two were sat on a bench in the shade of a large tree. Most people walked past ignoring them. Occasionally a small child would stare and One would pull a face, to which Two would roll his eyes as the child ran quickly to its guardian. They were waiting for something to happen. They'd been waiting for something since the Merovingian had 'requested' them to leave. Truth being they'd been kicked out for causing chaos. He hadn't taken a shine to the 'pet' they'd found for him. Apparently he didn't like cats. Especially when they had very sharp teeth and claws, also the orange and black stripes hasn't helped. But they had protested it was a 'friendly kitty'. Until it had bitten One's hand, thankfully he phased so it didn't hurt or show. It was then it had decided it liked the Merovingian, and tried to show it. The Merovingian hadn't been impressed when its claws had been embedded in his leg. So there they were. Not even any rebels to chase. Two was now so bored he began sorting out the contents of his pockets. He found something. But before he could say or do anything.

Yet another sigh.

"Don't bother." Two stood up and began walking off. One scrambled to his feet and began chasing his brother. "I finally figured out a way to keep you busy and have some fun at the Merovingian's expense."

Eventually after an argument about where they'd left their jeep. Two had driven while One had, in the following order: messed with the radio, stared out the window and pulled faces at passing cars and nearly choked himself on the seatbelt. While at the same time managing to ask 'are we there yet' at least a few hundred times. The car journey just about lasted an hour. It shouldn't have taken that long, it wouldn't have if the two hadn't got caught up in a traffic jam. The radio news, once Two had retuned the station properly, had said there had been a terrorist scare. 'Typical.' Two thought. 'Something actually happens and we're not there.'

Finding a car parking space was a task unto itself. There was shouting of helpful instructions, which meant One shouting. "You missed/drove past a spot." Accompanied with some colloquial term for his brother, then there was just swearing for a change. Finally they found a spot and parked. Two got out and thought about locking One in the car. That wasn't a good idea for a few reasons. One could phase out of the car anyway, though it may have taken him a while to remember this fact. However by that time the interior of the car may have been hacked to pieces. Then there was the final problem of where he'd be worse than ever the rest of the day.

"The mall?" One looked blankly at his twin. "Why the hell have you dragged me here? There are people." One hissed the word people before looking around him nervously. Two waited for his brother to stop twitching and freaking out quietly before he explained his reasons. Though now looking back it may not have been best to have put One amongst this many humans. It would be a laugh whatever happened. They entered the mall itself. People stared at the two as they window shopped. One was suspicious of everything and one, he shadowed his twin.

"Anything you want?" Two finally revealed the card from his pocket. One's eyes lit up. It was a mix of evil and kid in a candy store, which probably aren't that far apart. One ran to the nearest shop, Two suddenly got worried and quickly followed.

It was about twenty shops later and the two were sat eating. Well Two was sipping coffee watching One consume more than food than he would have thought physically possible. One would regret it later, which meant Two would also. He looked to the last fry. Then at his brother, Two reached out to the single fry and took it. One looked please, Two knew this way his way of sharing.

"Ready for some more shopping. I, no we could use a new TV." One's eyes lit up at Two's suggestion of moving from the small purchases to the larger scale. He stood up slowly. Two led the way into an electrical store. The two sat on one of the couches watching the cartoons that were playing on the screens. They sat before the largest and one of the most expensive. One of the sales staff appeared from no-where. Two wondered if they were some sort of program the way they moved, or rather hunted, it wasn't normal human behaviour.

"Can I help you?" Overly perky sales woman appeared and stood in front of them blocking their view. One twitched.

"We're after a new entertainment system." The sales woman's turn to twitch. A sale, possibly one of the biggest sales in her life.

"The one you're watching is the best we've got and if you purchase today I'm certain we can give you some extras, such as satellite for a reduced price. One's eyes lit up. More channels, showing more shows that he could annoy Two with.

"We'll take it." She grinned wider than the Cheshire cat. One gestured for Two to hand over the card. He did. As quick as a flash the woman took it and vanished. Then reappeared.

"All done. We can deliver it tomorrow. If that's okay."

"That's fine." Two said quickly before One had chance to say what about today. They left the store quickly and began heading back to the jeep. One stopped. He pointed. Two sighed.

"What?"

"Can I have it?"

"That?" Two looked at One. "What are you going to do with a mini scooter?"

"Ride about the chateau on it." Two liked that idea.

"Okay." A few moments later they had an electric scooter. One enjoyed the fact that people got the hell out of his way quickly. He grinned and kept dodging in and out of the crowds. That was when he lost control of the scooter and crashed into a wall. However this wall had a fire alarm on it. He noticed his coat arm had blood on it. He quickly phased to get rid of the blood and heal its source. That was when he saw the glass on the alarm smashed. Then the fire alarm began to ring a moment later. One looked about, set the scooter upright and got back on. There was no fire, oh wait, he was wrong. Some of the electrical equipment in the shop opposite had sparked and was now burning. It didn't take long for the whole mall to empty as the sprinkler system came on. The twins were the last ones to exit, they took their time and carried their shopping bags carefully. They did at least bring something back for the Merovingian, he'd have their codes changed so they couldn't phase. As much as they loved annoying the guy they didn't want that power removed. Phasing is what kept them alive. Well in existence. They shrugged as one and walked off. Backs to what was left of the mall as more fire trucks and police pulled up.

"Back to being bored."

"Yeah. What time is it?"

Two smacked his brother round the back of his head and they continued to the jeep. Maybe the Merovingian would send them off on some new scheme if they asked nicely. Besides they had the entertainment system being delivered tomorrow to look forwards to.

End.