DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Matt Groening. However! The idea and plot to this story DOES belong to me and Mizz. SO BACK OFF BETCHES.
WARNING: Some strong language and scenes of an odd and peculiar nature to ensue C:
Main Pairings: Beelzebot x Bender C:
A/N: This is a collaboration between me [Pimpface] and MissusPatches [who I'll be calling Mizz from now on cuz I am lazy, it's a mouthful, blah blah excuses blah] AND IT KICKS ASS! XD
If you reading this then THANK YOU! XD It's really random and weird right? OH BUT I LOVE IT SO! And so must you.
Chapter One!
Beelzebot's/Robot Devil's PoV !
I watched closely as he mindlessly chugged down another case of beer whilst staring off into space.
I sat, perched on the edge in excitement, anticipation, and strange delirium induced woe. My large, arid flame inducing office, always felt cramped whenever I watched him.
"Ugh," I groaned as I continued to stare up at him through my viewing bubble. It was one I hardly ever used, only for occasions when my usual screens were in prior use for real work instead of just pleasure. It worked just as well, but it was sufficiently cooler, shaped like a bubble and it floated and followed me round when I moved, showing a near enough perfect picture. But gosh, it cost a lot to run and my Robot Devil salary barely covers it!
"Why do I watch him so?" I yelled in dramatic anguish. Obviously I knew the answer but it's always fun to say things out loud though, you know?
If you must know though, the reason I was watching him now and always have watched him is simple. Okay, yes, fine I'm bluffing I have no idea. But I just can't notwatch him though; it feels as if I have to know what he's doing every single moment of every single minute.
I often wonder if he knows; I mean I know it's impossible for him to, but I just can't help it. Can he hear my air pressure build as he sneaks onto the roof of the bank? Can he hear my metal fingers tap together as he glides down to just above the glass cabinet with jewels encased? Can he hear my tail snap to attention as he laughs with child like delight as he rolls back up the rope to the roof, jewels in hand?
I heaved a heavy sigh as I turned away from the bubble to attend to my admittance paper work. I slowly, half-heartedly (metaphorically speaking of course) began to work my way through the pile, making sure Robot God hasn't sent someone down wrongly. I may be the Robot Devil but I can still be fair. Ish.
Everything came to an abrupt stop as I hear an amazingly fiendish giggle, the one he only gets when he's about to do something reckless or dangerous or downright sinful. Then, with a swish of my tail, I eagerly glued my eyes to the source of the sound. "Oh my..." I curled out with a slight undertone of malice.
"So, my dear Bender is out with that stupid meat bag he called a best friend," I dragged out the word maybe a little too much, but the rest was said with usual peppiness and my tail began to sway of its own accord again.
"Although it is most sad that he is the reason for his happiness... at least he is happy." I sighed as I rocked back in my chair.
'If only I was the reason for that fun. I mean I could be if I spent even half the time the sponge does with him. Oh...' I mused, piecing together my most devilish plan yet. I shook with wicked laughter as it roared out of my voice box.
"Preparations, preparations!" I chimed gleefully as I bounded out of the room; I was determined to find just the right minions for the job. With a quick stroke of my pointy chin, I realized now that it was just a matter of time.
Out of PoV !
"Aw, c'mon Fry! I know how to cheer you up!" Bender smirked as he hoisted said meat bag onto his shoulders. Ignoring the human's protesting, he walked swiftly out of the small, stale lounge of Planet Express and headed for the streets.
"Bender put me down!" Fry yelped as he squirmed under the robot's strong grip.
"Fine," he agreed and then with a hard shove Fry landed on the sidewalk with a hearty OOF.
"To the bar!" Bender shouted before trotting off in a random direction, leaving his friend behind in a heap on the pavement.
"Wait up, Bender!" Fry called as he struggled to his feet, dusted himself down and hobbled after his best friend.
"Come on meat bag!" Bender called back to Fry before turning sharply to his right and throwing open a large, heavy-looking door.
"Ah, thanks Bender!" Fry chirped gratefully before waddling in and settling down at the closest booth, Bender following right after and seating himself opposite.
A fat man with a dirtied, off-white t-shirt and black trousers with a filth covered waiter's belt stood sluggishly in front of them with a small notepad; "What can I gets ya?" he mumbled, uninterestedly.
"Two beers my man," Bender commanded with a tip of his top hat that he stole off of a passing crazed looking old bum on the way in.
The man gave a small nod and mumble of "sure, whatever" before slowly dragging himself over to the bar.
"So, what's had you so bummed then, meatbag?" Bender asked in usual upbeat tone.
"Ah... it's just this whole Leela thing, man," Fry grumbled
Bender let out a loud groan; "This again?!" he sighed heavily. Why can't you think of anyone else?! He knew in his heart that he really had only one 'anyone' in mind.
Appearing to not have heard Bender's outcry of disapproval, Fry continued to gripe like the lovesick delivery boy that he was:
"I mean, whatever lengths I go to, however hard I try to please her, it always comes out to nothing! It seems like no matter what I do, she'll never see me as more than a lazy, immature slob from the stupid ages... Maybe I should just give up and leave her alone. She'll obviously never see me as more than a goofy friend!"
With this, he slumped over the greasy table, his head in his arms, staring miserably off into space. Phillip J Fry was the picture of a beaten man and although Bender was certainly miffed about the third wheel treatment he'd been receiving from his friend lately, the robot could not stand to see him like this. As much as he'd love to tell Fry that life would be better without the purple haired cyclops in the picture, he knew what he had to do. With another sigh, he drummed up the speech of encouragement that he usually reserved for these occasions.
"Fry, I've been watching you chase after Leela since day one and if there's one thing I've learned after all these years, it's this: my buddy doesn't give up! When the Planet Express ship went wacko and tried to suffocate you meatbags, who gave Leela his air supply?"
"I did..."
"When Leela got that surgery that gave her two eyes like all the rest of you humans, who thought she was perfect the way she was before?"
"I did. She was!"
"When Leela was in a coma, who missed two weeks of bathing because he refused to leave her side?"
"Me! She said she dreamed about me talking..."
"Don't you see, Fry? You would do anything for her and as pathetic as that sounds, Leela's got to see how much you care about her eventually. I've seen the way that meatbag looks at you - she likes you, too; she's just too stubborn to realize it!"
As Bender was speaking, Fry's face seemed to perk up. The air pressure in the robot's chest swooped a few notches and he added, "You even learned to play the holophoner for her. I heard you practicing all those nights. In the end you still sucked as bad as when you began, but heck, if you'd tried to learn to play one of the most difficult instruments in the universe for me, I'd have hooked up with you a long time ago!" Oops. He hadn't meant to say that last part; it'd just slipped out...
Fortunately or unfortunately, Fry didn't seem to notice; he stood up, a new confidence in his face:
"You're right, Bender! I've still got the time to win Leela's heart – I can't waste it sitting around in a bar! I'm going to go buy her something she'll love so much, she'll have to give me a chance! Thanks for the talk, Bender - you're a real pal!" The grinning delivery boy gave his robot friend an affection pat on the shoulder and then he was gone.
"Me and my big mouth..." It was Bender now who slumped over the table, dejected. The brief elation he'd felt at cheering his best friend up was gone and a sour, gloomy feeling replaced it. So Fry thought that "sitting around in a bar" with his woefully neglected best friend was a waste, did he? Hmph!
He'd been better off before he got tangled with these smelly skintubes and their messy social lives. He'd been on his own, a lone wolf, a rebellious job deserter that had just found out that his lifelong bending career contributed to suicide booths and was on his way to use one! ...Okay, so he hadn't exactly been happy. But the lonely feeling that was presently working its way into his system made his earlier suicide booth plan seem like not such a bad idea...
Oh, who was he kidding? Fry would be devastated if he found out that his best friend in the world had gone to the junkyard in the sky! Even if he felt slightly vengeful at the human's preoccupation with romance lately, Bender just couldn't hurt him that way. He'd just have to suck it up and accept the fact that they'd never be more than friends.
Suddenly not in the mood for beer, Bender left the joint before the dingy looking waiter could return. It was around midday on a Sunday and even though they didn't have work until the next day, there might be some employees hanging around the tv room at Planet Express... perhaps he could get some entertainment out of making fun of Zoidberg for a while or stealing Amy's wallet...?
Lost in thought, the downtrodden 'bot crossed the street without paying attention to the traffic lights – not that many people were in this part of town on a Sunday anyway. Nonetheless, he never saw the black, flamed painted car speeding toward him, its driver cackling with malicious glee, and he didn't know what quite hit him when he blacked out a moment later.
Some indeterminate amount of time later...
"Uuughh..." Bender gave a low moan as he came back to consciousness.
"What... what happened?" He mumbled, reaching a metallic hand up to rub his aching head. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, but wherever he was, he was lying on something soft – the couch in Planet Express? Nah, the professor was to cheap to buy them furniture that was actually comfortable. Plus, it was simply too hot to be the employee lounge, and he could hear a constant stream of odd sounds from what seemed like all around him... screams of pain and terror? Where exactly was he??
A deep bout of laughter fuelled by what was obviously evil by the slight cackling tinge to it came rolling in from behind the manbot.
"Well, well well..." an almost giggling voice chimed sadistically behind him.
Bender lazily rolled over and slowly opened one eye, "Whaa- Whoo-?" he grumbled groggily.
A row of pointed yellow teeth fitted into the triangular head of the Robot Devil that gave his face a perpetual wicked grin. Inches from his face.
He instantly sprung up to his feet with his eyes extended out way past his head as things slowly fell into place of where he was and then why. 'Aw, crap... am I dead...?' he thought with a groan.
"Why yes you are, my dear fellow, unfortunately dead." He said with a smirk as his tail swished happily behind him.
It took a long moment to keep his head from swirling and to concentrate. Slowly he opened his eyes and sat himself up with a complaining creek. A rather sour expression stained his face as he looked around at the dingy room he was in.
The rooms' floor was a maroon dusty, rocky mess that he was not happy to be scuffed by. It was deathly arid due to the intense heat that he guessed came from the flames seemingly surrounding everything; allowing for people to move about freely, but also keeping some trapped at the same time. The room he was in was pretty barren. All there seemed to be was an old worn out navy sofa that looked odd and misplaced. Almost like it had been stolen from some human dirtball.
Bender sighed and rubbed the dent on his forehead, "Huh... oh okay," He attempted to feign a small laugh as he collected his thoughts. He sighed again and shrugged his shoulders (or his robo versions).
'Well whatever. I just got to get out of this hell hole' pun not intended.
"So, er, you wouldn't happen to know how if a robot wanted to get himself out of here eh?" Bender spoke in a slow, underhanded and almost provocative way.
He arched a metaphoric brow at the way that Beelzebot seemed to shiver; the devilish bot's tail straightened before swishing violently and his smile twisted strangely. Bender knew that his thought pattern right now couldn't have been good. He vaguely wondered if he should be worried.
RoboDevil sauntered round, his tail swaying slower, a glint to his eyes.
"Well I'm sure I could think of... one way..." the devilish robot spoke in an unusual, sly tone as a mischievous smirk danced on his lips.
'Aw crap.'
A/N!:
Mizz: Bender/Robot Devil ftw man! One of my favourite favourite pairing sin the Futurama fandom – a shame that there's so little. :c There needs to be more of this fun pairing around like srsly. D: *heart* Thanks in advance for reading and/or reviewing! :D Hope you guys enjoy this 'cause writing it with mah pal pimp here has been a blast so far! Yayy teamwork!
Pimpface: AAAAAHH! XDD I just want to thank all of you guys for reading it real quick! But then I want to thank Mizz for everything! Because Oh my goddd~! I started this with someone fail who ditched me and so I was left on my own and it was going terribly and so I grovelled at her feet and she accepted with open arms and she is just...AMAZING. *faints* 3~
Oh yeah and oh my god *drools* robo love is just... wonderful.
SO Thanks again guys! 3~