20 October 1990
Saturday pre-lunch
Harry had waited patiently for this moment and he knew that this little pre-planned commentary would hopefully destroy much of Draco's future political standing and potential leadership within Slytherin House and thus the wider magical world. Harry couldn't help himself, he began fidgeting. He'd been planning this for days with Oliver Wood and now the conditions had all been met:
A) there were no staff to be seen;
B) a lot of students of all Houses and years were milling about outside the Great Hall waiting for lunch to start;
C) Draco had just loudly and publicly made an idiot of himself AGAIN! Though this time he'd been thoroughly trounced by Justin Finch-Fletchley;
D) Weasley was near the hall doors slavering at the thought of eating;
E) Oliver Wood had now moved close enough to quietly cast "Silencio" on Draco and a "Sonorus" on Harry before stepping back ready to counter the Sonorus and letting Harry play his prank.
After a nod from Oliver and feeling the spell take effect Harry took a deep breath before he loudly proclaimed "I present the Silver Trio to this gathering of students. Ladies and gentlemen, from your left as you face them I present to you 3 Firsties: Gregory Goyle, Vincent Crabbe and their mutual fiancée Draco Malfoy! Gregory and Vincent both managed to convince the Sorting Hat into sorting Draco into Slytherin despite his manifest inappropriateness to be with them. Obviously in the hopes of teaching him subtlety despite his strong Huffindor tendencies!"
After a stunned silence Harry was interrupted by the wave of laughter and mockery directed at Draco who was throwing a silent temper tantrum.
Suddenly the seemingly ginormous Marcus Flint stepped in front of the smallest Firstie in the school – Harry - and loudly asked, "What do you mean 'Hufflndor tendencies'?"
"Well virtually every second & third sentence I've ever heard from him is 'when my father…' or 'my father says…' if that's not the loyalty of a true Hufflepuff then what is? And, well frankly despite Gregory and Vincent escorting Draco everywhere in an attempt to protect their hapless little darling from himself Draco like a True Gryffindor still slips their leash's and charges forward and ends up insulting at least one if not more people or Houses. If that's not a stereotype Gryffindor charging into an unknown situation then prancing about waiting for Gregory and Vincent to rescue their very own 'distressed damsel'. Then poor Vince and Greg have to stage an impromptu rescue but in any case they at least have the heft to try and drag him out unharmed."
Without giving Marcus a chance to respond though Harry took note of how many of the older students of all the Houses were looking quite thoughtfully at his comments while many were obviously looking appraisingly at Draco and his 'future-husbands' who were all looking quite bemused at Harry's commentary.
Harry, for virtually the first time since the incident began, turned to face Gregory and Vincent and suggested, "Boys I suggest that you research toddler training aids as well as silencing charms until your fiancé has learnt some decorum and been retrained in the proper behaviour for your future marital bliss. If nothing else it would probably save Slytherin House from losing so many points cause of Draco's very public temper tantrums."
By the time Harry had finished talking quite a few Slytherins were looking disgustedly at the enraged Draco who was jumping up and down in fury at his inability to refute Harry's comments.
24 October 1990
Wednesday
What by now truly infuriated Draco was just how many students believed the by now widely accepted 'fact' of his pending marriage to Gregory and Vincent. They are his bodyguards NOT his fiancées. He was totally unsure of just exactly what the Weasley twins meant this morning when they referred to him as the 'meat in Greg and Vinces sandwich' but he did know that it didn't sound good 'specially the way all the older kids laughed; he'd have to ask his father to explain in his next letter home.
It didn't help that many of the older Slytherin students had started pinching him on the bum as they moved past him or that some of the older girls and boys were critiquing his appearance before offering him hair care and beauty tips.
The End
Note: this was originally a discarded omake from a so far unposted time travel story.