A/N. This is my first fanfiction so I really hope you enjoy. It wil be written from both Alice and Jasper's POV but I may add in a couple more to give you a background story on Rosalie and Emmett (if that's what reviewers want). I will try to update the story at least once a week, maybe more if you review!

Also thank you to my friend Rukaya who gladly proof read this for me.

Enjoy (:

Everything's Not Lost

P R E F A C E

"You can't always save everyone Alice!" I shouted.

"Why not; why won't you tell me what's going on? I want to help!"

"You don't understand, I don't deserve help; especially not from you."

"Fine" She whispered, her voice now on the edge of breaking, she waited hesitantly for a couple of seconds waiting for me to reply but I simply couldn't find any words left to say. Before I could stop her she turned and ran out of the hall back to her room slamming the door behind her. It wasn't long until I heard her muffled sobs; they cut me deep into the stomach, making me feel sick to the bone. I promised I would never hurt anyone again especially not Alice. I stood there for what seemed like hours just waiting for her to calm, praying that she would drift into sleep but she didn't. What had I done?

Chapter 1.

Welcome Home

JPOV

"Here goes nothing" I took another glance at my sister as I slammed the brass handle back onto the wooden door. It seemed as though it had only been yesterday since we were here last; but it's been nearly four years. Forks was the only place that I ever felt a strong attachment to. I liked the rain; maybe each droplet could somehow wash all those bad moments from the past away. That's what I wanted to believe anyway; so I let myself.

"Jasper, Rosalie!" The door swung open and I was immediately flung into a pair of small loving arms that belonged to none other than Esme Cullen. "Finally, it's so good to see you again!" She squeezed me tightly once more and then ran over to attack Rose. I missed her warm hugs; they made me feel as though I deserved to be here, to be loved.

I smiled lightly and turned to see Edward grinning widely, his hair as messy as ever and his black shirt hung over his faded jeans to complete his look, he hadn't changed a bit. He grasped my hand in a firm shake and stood aside to let us come into the lounge.

"I take it Carlisle is still at the hospital?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes he should be back by dinner, can I get you two anything?"
"No thank you Esme" I replied as I familiarised myself to the surroundings of their home. It was still the same as it had always been, comfortable and warm. Edward's piano was still sat in the corner of the room with sheets of music that lay beside it. I remember when we used to play together, I missed that, however I still keep my guitar with me wherever I go. It made me forget my thoughts for short moments as I strummed softly on the strings. We would be staying here for three weeks whilst Esme decorated our new house before our mother came to join us from New York; maybe we could do it again.

Rosalie and I grew up in Texas until our father died. Our mother still thinks he will walk through the door at any moment with the weeks shopping, but I stopped believing that a long time ago. That was what bought us to Forks, we stayed for a few years until mother got another job. It offered her so much more so I didn't want to ruin that part of her life as well. So we relocated yet again this time to New York City. I could tell Rose loved it there, she seemed to fit in with the city life; she was beautiful, young and clever; thus immediately grew popular. I still remember the day Royce ruined everything for her; she's never had the sparkle in her eyes since. It seems everything about are lives grew to end up in shit one way or another, but no matter how hard I tried to prevent it from happening it was never enough.

I was continuing to dwell on the past before my eyes took a glance over to the door. Two figures had appeared; the first a man around my age, he had dark hair, dimpled cheeks and a figure built to rival any pro wrestler. His arms were the size of my own legs however we stood at a similar height. I had always been fairly lanky; it was only in the past couple of years that I had finally fit into my body completely. I didn't linger too much on him however, as small girl ran over and forced me into a strong embrace. At first I was taken aback, completely confused and most of all shocked. I looked down to see her spiky black hair resting on my chest. My body stiffened as I tried to return the friendly gesture.

"I'm Alice, you must be Jasper"

Eventually she released me, I couldn't help but miss her small arms once they left my waist, and I felt empty once more. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. Her piercing blue eyes stared back into mine for a brief moment before I studied the rest of her perfect face. Her features were pixie like which reflected her height, she was about a foot and a half shorter than myself yet everything was in full proportion. Her simple white dress hugged her curves and enhanced every aspect of her delicate form. Her lips; a light shade of pink were still plastered into such an unbelievable smile I could feel myself begin to weaken, all I wanted was to touch her smooth pale skin, to hold her once more.

"Jasper?" her voice sang.

Snap out of it. Right, back to reality.

"Hi sorry, nice to meet you" I smiled down at her quickly before turning once more to the man. "You must be Emmett then" I shook his hand quickly not wanting it to break. I knew Carlisle and Esme had adopted again, they were always the nicest people I knew. Carlisle was the town doctor and probably the best in the business.

"Yep that's me, Alice is very forward" he laughed; Alice just smiled again and punched him playfully in the arm, her teeth shining against her perfect lips. I can't believe I'm looking at her this way, this is wrong, she deserves better. I tried to shake it off again as we moved into the kitchen to help Esme with dinner.

APOV

They were here; he had finally arrived. I'd heard much about Jasper Whitlock and Rosalie Hale from Edward, I never understood why twins would have a different surname, which was another thing I wanted to know about. All I knew was that their father had died in a car accident when they were only ten years old and that they were coming back to Forks from living in New York for the past four years.

Since I first woke up in hospital I had been dreaming of him. His honey blonde hair fell down his face stopping just above his startlingly green eyes, his skin; creamy pale and his strong jaw line was just another asset to his exquisite face. Who was he?

He was the only thing I knew, the only thing I wanted to know. I don't remember anything before that day, apart from pain. This beautiful man was my first true memory, and yet I couldn't be sure if he was even real?

To this day I don't understand myself, or where I had come from. I've been told many times what had happened to me but I choose not to think about it, I don't want people feeling sorry for me anymore. Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Emmett are my family now, I can't wish for something that is gone forever, thus I can't think about what I was missing out on. My parents had died in the plane crash that stole my memories and both weren't coming back.

The first few days in the hospital were the worst, each nurse or patient that passed gave me that 'poor girl' look, and I couldn't stand it for much longer. Thankfully Carlisle understood what I was going through and agreed to never mention the accident again.

That brings me to where I am now. In an almost perfect family, I had a loving mother, a caring father, two protective brothers and money, not that it mattered to me. All that meant was that I could feed my need for shopping, which I quickly found out to be my favourite activities.

But I never forgot him. From what I could understand he was my future, there was a reason I had seen him; I just wasn't sure what it was. Since hearing about Jasper for the first time I couldn't help thinking that his name fit the man I had seen, not only that but I had seen pictures of him with Edward, the resemblance was uncanny.

I ran down the stairs grabbing Emmett's hand as I did so to meet them for the first time, butterflies continued swirling around in my stomach making me feel sick from excitement and hope that was constantly building inside.

As soon as we walked through the lounge door I saw him in the flesh, he was real and standing just a few feet away. Without thinking I ran over and crashed my arms around his waist.

"Hi Jasper, I'm Alice" He stood still for a moment before encircling his arms lightly around me. I breathed in his sweet scent that somehow reminded me on the richest chocolate, mint and a slight hint of cinnamon that completed the intoxicating smell. I never wanted to let go, he'd kept me waiting too long for this, but I had to make myself realise that there was plenty more time to embrace him if he wanted me to; so I hesitantly dropped my arms. He stood there for a moment; he still seemed to be slightly shocked about my sudden approach.

"Jasper?" I asked nervously. He smiled down at me softly, which sent my head spiralling in loops before I heard his compelling voice fill my ears.

"Hi sorry, nice to meet you" Still consumed with my thoughts of him I walked back to introduce myself to his sister Rosalie. I was still thankful that I hadn't scared him off as he went over to greet Emmett.

"You must be Emmett then" He said as the shook hands.

"Yep that's me, Alice is very forward" he chuckled, I gave him a punch in the arm but my hand probably felt it more than he did. Damn him for being all muscle. I looked back to Jasper still smiling as we all went to the kitchen to help Mum with dinner before Dad returned home from work.

JPOV

Dinner was nice. Simple. Normal. We chatted about what had happened in the last four years, but both Rose and I kept the certain details we didn't want them to know this soon, or ever to ourselves. Emmett kept the conversation flowing with funny stories and jokes, Carlisle spoke mainly about work and Alice mainly listened. This disappointed me in some way, from her forwardness earlier I anticipated that she would talk more, I wanted to know more about her, but she remained silent.

After dinner Rose and I retired upstairs to sort out our things, luckily we had separate rooms, the Cullen house was more than big enough to accommodate large numbers of people. I moved my clothes into a small wardrobe to the left of my room and then went to the bathroom to shower before calling it a night.

I shoved my dirty clothes into the laundry basket before stepping into the small cubicle. The scolding water cascaded down my back as I hissed when it came in contact to my cold skin. I washed my hair quickly and carefully ran a flannel across my scarred body, just another reminder of what an awful person I was. Every time I see them I think back to that day, regret and anger washed through me once more before I shut the water off and climbed out.

Once I was dry I shoved a pair of pyjama bottoms on and got into bed. I was still shattered from the drive so it wasn't long until sleep engulfed me.

Fire. Burning. Screaming.

My eyes shot open immediately, my body sweating like mad from the imaginary heat. I clambered out of bed to get some air; I also needed water. I decided to go to the kitchen to get a drink, maybe some food too, anything to take my mind off the recollection from my all too true nightmare.

I grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it over my head as I slowly walked down the stairs, I was still slightly tired but there was no way that I was going back to sleep knowing what my mind would do to me. I reached the kitchen and let my hands roam along the wall in search for the light switch; eventually they sought it and brightness filled the room.

"Fuck!" I shouted. Jeez she scared the life out of me. "Alice what are you doing here?" I whispered hoping that no one else had heard my sudden outburst.

"Sorry, how come your up?" She asked quietly. She was sat on the counter next to the sink in a pair of red shorts and a white vest top, a glass of water clasped in her hand. I walked over and opened the cupboard door next to her head to retrieve my own glass before filling it with fresh water.

"Couldn't sleep, what's your excuse?" I said whilst taking a sip, cold water filled me and gently soothed the fire that was still present in my heated body.

"Same, insomnia's a bitch" So Alice had insomnia? I wouldn't say I had it, if I didn't have a nightmare I would usually sleep soundly. I guess that happened in a while though.

"Oh, how long have you had that?" I asked. I was still coming to terms that I was alone with her.

"Since I can remember I guess" Sadness filled her eyes, crap I shouldn't have asked. She took another gulp of water before she hopped down from the top making me tower over her again; I'd almost forgotten how petit she was.

"Well I'll see you later then" She smiled, but it failed to reach her eyes.

"What are you going to do? I take it you're not going to sleep" I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts again and part of me thought she wanted the same.

"I don't know, draw maybe, that's what I normally do" I glanced at her again in hope. "Are you going back to bed?" She asked.

"Definitely not" I replied a little too quickly.

"Why not, is it nightmares?" I couldn't believe she was asking me this, I was most certain that I didn't want to tell her about my dreams or anything else that was bothering me. She didn't need such a large burden on her shoulders from my behalf.

"Something like that" I was about to try and shrug off that part of the conversation but she stopped me.

"It's ok you know, I used to have them every night before I stopped sleeping" I was grateful that she tried to understand, but how could Alice possibly have such problems that were even close to the same scale as mine? She seemed perfect, she was chatty, talented and not to mention the most attractive person I'd ever seen.
I smiled tentatively before she spoke again.

"Well I'm here if you ever want to talk about it"

"Sure I'll keep that in mind" I turned to walk out of the door and back to my room as she called for the last time.

"Night Jasper"

"Sweet dreams Alice" I whispered to myself knowing full well that neither of us would sleep again that night.

***

A/N. So there you have it! Why does Jasper feel he doesn't deserve love? Why does he have his scars? What will happen between him and Alice?

Stay tuned to find out!

Gemma xx