ESCAFLOWNE WEEK 2017, Day 1: Light/Dreaming
The Necessary Trade
NOTE: It's the second Escaflowne Week ever and I'm so excited! We've got some really great prompts this year and I hope that I'll be able to post something everyday. We'll see how that works out.
I've started with a sad little piece about Celena and Dilandau, post-series. Not sure why such seemingly happy prompts led me to this but I couldn't help it. Mostly from Celena's point of view and you will see why. as you read this one-shot. It was tricky but still an interesting exercise.
Enjoy and please let me know what you think!
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
When did the world become so blindingly bright?
For years, this was often Celena Schezar's first thought as soon she woke up in the morning. She had never gotten fully accustomed to seeing the sunlight everyday, not after all the years hidden away in the shadows. So she always found herself grateful to see such light again, and though it seemed strange to others, she regarded the sunlight as nothing short of a miracle.
But how could anyone possibly understand? She herself couldn't explain what her life had been for those ten years. And she had given up trying to understand it all. Remembering was too painful. Now that the life that was denied to her was restored, she was determined to look ahead, to the future that she would make her own.
She quickly regained her strength and learned to adjust to her new life. To her brother's delight, she proved to be as lively and intelligent as she had been as a child, if not more so. But her experience had made her stronger, fiercer, and, to her brother's slight dismay, headstrong. Quite soon it was clear who really was in charge in the Schezar household. But Allen relented and gave his sister what she wanted (within reason). They had spent time enough apart for them to quarrel over trifles.
Besides, he could not help but be proud of her fortitude and her ability to withstand the greatest of trials. He wasn't sure he would have been able to survive as she had done, and though he was still determined to protect her from all harm, he learned quickly that she was more than able to protect herself.
She handled a sword with ease and was well-acquainted with the workings of any standard guymelef. She was even able to suggest certain innovations, having been accustomed to more advanced models while still in Zaibach.
Her skills, while impressive, sometimes worried Allen because of their association with a certain Dragonslayer. But Celena assured him that these abilities had been transferred to her untainted by the memories or the personality of the one who had lived in her place for so long. And though Allen would have his doubts, he noticed that, indeed Celena was able to exercise the restraint and discipline that Dilandau had always lacked. So in many ways, she had become the more formidable warrior, and Allen could not help but be proud of her.
So it was safe to say that Celena Schezar was doing well. She had reclaimed her life and she was following a path she had chosen for herself. There was little cause for complaint.
And yet, there was always a lingering thought, a circumstance she was reminded of whenever the sun shone too bright into her eyes. Because the presence of so much light only reminded her of its constant absence, years ago, when that was all she had ever known.
A child, crying for help, all alone and in despair, the smallest sliver of light that entered her prison the only source of hope and life and freedom. The visions of those terrible years had gradually ceased to haunt her, but she would never truly forget them. And she refused to put all of it behind her. Some trace must remain, even when most of her memories had already been replaced with happier ones. She would never erase all of the years in Zaibach. She would never erase him.
Dilandau Albatou.
Because she knew, she knew he was still in there somewhere. Buried deep in her subconscious, just as she had been when he had rampaged around Gaea. But she sensed that his current state may even be more miserable than hers had been. Because she had always existed. From the beginning, this had been her life, her body, her soul. Time had been stolen from her but she had taken her rightful place in the world.
Did he ever really have such a place? Was he ever truly meant to exist? And yet for ten long years, he had. That could not be denied, and she would not deny him those years. After all, he hadn't stolen them from her. Both of their lives had been manipulated and twisted by forces beyond their control. They were not to blame for the chaos that had followed. But now, things had been put back into order, and Celena Schezar had returned for good.
But she hoped that there would still be some way for Dilandau to come back, to lead a proper existence at the very least, and not simply languish in the dungeons of her mind. She could not hear his cries but she knew he was there, wallowing in the same darkness and despair that had surrounded her. Cold and lonely and slowly going mad.
And she knew him well. Beneath all the ferocity in battle, he could be a scared child, especially when left alone. He so hated being alone. And now, he had no choice but to be so.
There was no comfort she could provide him. She could not give him his life back because it was never his to begin with. And she deserved this chance to be herself and to live her life. She felt the slightest pang of guilt knowing that her freedom and happiness came at the cost of his utter despair. But the feeling would pass. Neither of them were to blame for their current circumstances.
But then, what was to be done about him? Nothing, for the moment. She had exhausted all possibilities and it would be very difficult to discuss such a matter with anyone. They wouldn't be able to understand that no one deserved to exist in such an uncertain state. No one.
But for now, he would have to remain trapped in that strange realm of the mind, dreaming of a life that he had led for ten years but that was gone forever.
Maybe there would be a way for him to come back some day. For the time being, Celena kept such thoughts to herself because she knew that he was such a controversial figure. But at the very least, she believed he deserved a proper death, a definite end to a life made up of dark chapters. She hoped that she would be able to bring this about someday.
But for now, both of them would have to make do with the status quo. There was no other choice. After everything, some fates could not be escaped and this necessary trade had to be made. For one to live in the light, the other must be kept dreaming in the darkness.