Happy Anniversary guys!
My 20th fanfic, I almost I can't believe it. I mean this fic came out of nowhere. The first sentence practically threw me against my desk and I really hope you guys enjoy it. The writing experience was a first for me. Oh and before you go. I have a tumblr account now, Fallen Petals fanart and headcanons all the way. Now, without any further ado…
I do not own RWBY.
The Fire In Her Kiss
It's always terrifying when Ruby kisses her.
Cinder could never understand why.
Maybe it is because after all the torment that she put her through, ripped loved ones from her heart, Ruby's heart is still full of love. Love that she overflows her with, drowns her until Cinder silently wishes that it would consume her. Give her the death that she is so deserving of, but no. Her heart is still beating and so is Ruby's. Ruby's heart beats for her.
Love.
When the concept was still unfamiliar to her, like it had been throughout her life and still at present times, Cinder thought of it as a weakness. However, when she had seen no other option than to massacre the people of Beacon, when she had become isolated from the girl for all those months. Only then did Cinder come to understand that love was painful. And yet, Ruby was able to love unconditionally . Even if she didn't, Ruby would…she could still smile through it all. She had her own façade. They both had. But Cinder knew that her rage, would never inflict wounds like she did.
A curse really.
Cinder never asked, but she knew that it hurt. Sometimes she wondered if it hurt to love her as well. Sometimes…Cinder wish that it did. She hoped that those lies, hidden behind that radiant smile, would kill her ever so slowly. A deeming punishment for a person foolish enough to carry her own and other's burdens without ever wishing ill towards another. And yet, how could Cinder wish such a thing, when loving a single person was almost too much for her to bare? If their love truly tore at Ruby's heart like it did with her own. Then she was nothing but inferior to the silver eyed warrior.
It was a lack of power…a weakness she had. Cinder never allowed herself to dwell on it too much. For if she did, rage would surely consume her. An inextinguishable rage, born from the dark pits of her twisted mind, that she would never let touch her Rose. For her Rose was all that she had in this godforsaken world.
Whether it was out of love of selfishness, Cinder didn't know. She liked to think of it as both. She liked to think that even she was capable of a thing such as love.
Maybe then Cinder would be able to understand why Ruby kissed her so. She shouldn't be kissing her like that. Ruby shouldn't let her kiss back. But she did. Even after tearing breath and arrow through those she loved, Ruby's tender lips still found her own, breaths pushing steam into the air as if she were begging for forgiveness. A silent plea as silver sight consumed them. It was the only time Ruby showed Cinder her despair.
But Ruby held onto her grief. Cinder was given enough time to escape, instead she chose to hold on. Clung to the agonising pain that she knew she deserved. Wrapped her arm around her shaking body while the other melted into the inferno. Almost as if Cinder could bear that grief. The kind that overtakes you when your father leaves bruises and scars on your skin and your mother succumbs to sickness. Cinder would bear that grief again if it meant that she could take it from the other. If it meant that she was strong… only this once.
Entirely selfish.
Cinder had always thought that, even before her rise in power, there was one thing that she had unquestionable control over.
Fire.
Whether it was to comfort or incinerate, the fire always obeyed her command. She always thought that the source of her most devastating fire, was born out of anger. But all of her thoughts melted away against the warmth of their bodies, pressed against each other under soft blankets. With their lips hungrily searching for another, nails digging into flesh, teeth drawing blood. It is in the second they come undone, when they are lost in each other, that Cinder finds another fire. It is searing pain. It is comfort. It is an unstoppable force…an inferno that Cinder has no control over. But it is in the moment when Ruby whispers love into her ear, when she realizes that love does not lie in manipulation or weakness. It lies in surrender… unwavering trust.
Trust.
A foreign concept to her. Perhaps even so strange that Cinder thinks of betraying that trust…just so that she could get into the comfort of what only she knows. Loneliness and betrayal. Still she holds on. Holds onto Ruby's hand as she leads her through the beauty of Forever Fall. She rips her name out of shuddering gasps and grabs onto her hair until Ruby was kissing her the way she wanted her to. She learns to bask in the flames that only Ruby could ignite within her, how to trust as she lets Ruby set her on fire.
With rage Cinder was terrifying.
With Ruby, she was unstoppable…
Without her…those months spent apart, fighting against infection of her wounds and for control over the Grimm that threatened to take over, Cinder was once again left alone. All she could do was stare at the crimson ceiling and try to remember her Rose's smile. Hoping that Ruby still had some part of her jagged cold heart. Each day was a struggle, a battle for survival as Cinder went through the Grimm Queen's torture. All while wondering when she lost the fearful respect that she had for her master. When Cinder realised that she was nothing but a pawn in a game between gods.
Cinder wondered if Ruby had changed as well, if she saw past the façade of her own master. Seen the monster behind centuries of reincarnations. But Cinder knew better than anyone else, that Ruby would continue to blindly trust what she believed in. She wished for Ruby's trust to be shattered in that moment, for her heart to crack, just so that she could see what Cinder wanted to protect her from. For the first in what felt like a lifetime, Cinder wished harm upon her beloved Rose.
And in some kind of cruel joke, the gods from above decided to grant Cinder her wish. However, not in the way she wanted. Cinder's hate for the Scorpion was a blazing fire in her gaze as she watched him fade into the murky horizon. She had never wished for both life and death to rain upon another as she did in the weeks that passed. Upon the day of the Scorpion's return Cinder revelled in his failure. Her sadistic joy was all determination she needed to set out.
To find her Rose again.
Cinder always knew that she was a broken person. She had given up on ever being something else long ago. But it was with their embrace, through the silver streaks of her lover's tears, that Cinder had come to understand how empty she had been without the other. During their time apart a hunger had grown between them. The kind that left them aching for the other's touch. For touch on their skin, fingers in their hair, breath upon their lips.
Under Mistral's starlight sky. Between hungry kisses and the cry of a lover's name Cinder found herself aching until it hurt. Suddenly, the pain that Ruby had willingly put her through for all these years, wasn't lost in its meaning anymore. And as she confessed her love to her Rose, words that seemed to burn its way into Cinder's heart and melt the chains from her broken wings, Ruby cried.
While she was kissing the pain away, thoughts on whether Ruby felt the same emptiness without her, started clouding her mind. Whether she should leave. Just to keep the memory of her still there…as a burning ache of loneliness. Cinder knew that apart of her wanted Ruby to be hollow without her. Not to inflict harm. So that she could know that Ruby needed her. But when Ruby smiled at her. Cupping her cheek with delicate hands before pulling her into an embrace, heartbeats in sync. Cinder realised that she already did…
All of that…seemed so far away now.
Her Rose…her fire...
It was gone.
And she was cold.
Cold.
When Cinder found herself lying at the bottom of an inky abyss. Her and Ruby's whispered promises to each other. That they will find a way to win this war and live the rest of their lives together in peace. All of that seemed so distant. Like the small glitter of light shining through the darkness from above.
Out of reach.
The blood pooling around her body like the trickling streams nearby, made Cinder wonder if she would ever feel warm again. If she was ever warm to begin with. It was Ruby after all, wasn't it? The one who breathed life into her lungs, sent her lifeblood coursing through her veins.
Her reason to keep on going despite the ever-present darkness that surrounded her.
All of that.
It seemed like nothing but a faded memory right now.
Before it could all disappear, Cinder wondered if she'll ever feel the warmth in her lover's kiss again…