A/N: Hey guys! I know a lot of you were really bummed about TBE ending, but hopefully you will come to love this story just as much or more.
I'd like to thank everyone who sent me words of enthusiasm about it along with feedback. Knowing that at least some of you are excited about my new story was the best feeling in the world.
As always, huge thanks to quesera1 for her betaing help, and for always giving me moral support and words of encouragement.
Ready for chapter 1? Yeah? Okay, let's go.
Home.
They say it's where you go to rest your bones. To heal.
So maybe this is a good decision, she contemplates, standing at the waterfront, staring at the city she grew up in. The familiar skyline already makes her heart ache for people she's left behind when she took a job in New York and moved. It was a great opportunity, career-wise, and despite the circumstances in which she left her detective job and her cute apartment in New York City, she is glad to be home.
Chicago seems to have a certain hold on her, the kind that makes her keep coming back. Or maybe it's the people—her family that's not really her family, but the people she's lucky enough to call that. The people who showed her what family is supposed to be.
Maybe this is a horrible decision, but the demons dancing on her back have knocked her down, and she knows shaking them won't be easy. And it's why she's come back to her city, to her people. So that she doesn't have to do this alone.
She wonders if she'll look different to them. After all, they say certain events in your life change you forever, and she's certain she'll never feel the same again. She will never be that blind naïve woman again. He took that away from her. They all did. But it's not like it's a visible wound that she can show people, and say, see, I've been hurt. It's not visible. It rests somewhere deep inside of her, making its way up every time she goes to sleep and closes her eyes.
But she longs so badly to feel some sort of normal again. To feel like the ground beneath her feet has stopped shaking.
After it happened, the world seemed to have stopped for her. But it didn't stop for anyone else, and she still struggles to keep up with everyone's pace. She needs to accept that she can't keep doing that. She needs to find her own pace again, and she can't do that in New York.
Maybe she'll just have to make a new normal. And where better to do it than home?
"I'm here to see Sergeant Voight." She's standing on top of the stairs at the entrance to the bullpen.
"I'm sorry, you can't go up there, you have to wait downstairs," a slightly rude woman retorts and buzzes her way in. "Wait downstairs and the desk sergeant will take care of you." She's followed by a man, and at first, she doesn't recognize him. He's just a guy in a leather jacket, following the rude detective that just slightly ruined her day. But then he walks past her, and the familiar scent of his shampoo envelops her, and she recognizes the freckles covering his neck. After all, she did spend two years sitting in a patrol car with him, smelling that same shampoo, and counting those same freckles.
"Jay?"
He stops immediately, looking confused and surprised and happy all at once. Then his mouth spreads into the wide grin she was half in love with when she was a patrol officer and turns towards her. "Erin? My god, it's been what?"
"Too long," she says back with a smile, before he scoops her up and gives her a bear hug. She flinches, but then her body relaxes, and she wraps her arms around his torso. He buffed up, she thinks, feeling the hard muscles under a simple blue Henley. She remembers she used to think it was a crime when he wore them, but now, in combination with those muscles and that leather jacket, it definitely should be illegal.
"What are you doing here?"
"Need to talk to Hank, but apparently I need to wait downstairs," she replies, motioning to the rude woman still standing there, who is eyeing her with something suspiciously resembling jealousy.
"Bullshit, you're coming up with me. The guys are going to lose their shit when they see you."
He's right, of course. She mentally prepares herself for the discomfort, but it doesn't come. Not even when they all wrap her in a hug. She remembers almost everyone from before. Antonio was working vice when she was working patrol, and they had a beef with Hank, but apparently, they got over it if he's working for him now. Al was a regular guest at the family dinner table, and he looks at her now, as always not much for words. "God, you've grown up," he murmurs, before letting Kevin and Adam step in.
"Erin, this is Claire Roberts, I don't think you remember her, she's a newer part of the unit," Jay starts after everyone stops hugging her. She glances at the blonde, nodding politely, even though their start had been anything but pleasant. Maybe she is just having an off day, and that's the reason for her earlier rudeness. "Claire, this is Erin, we used to be patrol partners back in the day."
"Fun times," Erin remembers, and he agrees wholeheartedly. "It's nice to meet you, Claire."
"And here is the guy you're looking for."
She smiles, letting his familiar scent swallow her whole. If she didn't feel like she was home before, she knows she does in the exact moment when he laughs and wraps her into a hug.
"Hey, kiddo. Welcome home."
Those words, and the smile she's getting from the guys let her know that she's made the right choice. And as she steps into Hank's office to discuss the job, she already feels like this is a start of a new beginning.
"So, have you been home yet?"
She shakes her head. "I came straight here."
"You sure you don't want to tell me what prompted this sudden move?"
His gravelly voice echoes in her head. She shakes her head again. Something tells her that maybe he already knows, but being Hank, he doesn't push, and she's grateful for that. Someday, when she's ready, he'll get a whole story. But it's not the time now. Now she just needs to forget and keep moving forward.
He walks back out, the unit observing them both closely.
"Everyone, for those who don't know her, this is Erin Lindsay, and she'll be joining our unit. I'm confident it will be a great fit, and you'll all be happy that the spot is filled, because that means less overtime for you." The reaction is all smiles and one frown, but she'll deal with that later.
But Hank hasn't finished yet. "I think I'll have you riding with Halstead, since you two already know each other."
Jay shoots her a grin, and she grins back against her will. It will be interesting riding with him again, having his back, and dealing with his insane coffee order. She wonders if he still takes his coffee with almond milk. Most of all, she's glad she won't have to sit in a car with someone she doesn't know well.
"Sir, who am I supposed to ride with now?"
"You can ride with Olinsky," Hank huffs back, and Erin glances at Claire. She just came here, and she already has a feeling she has made her first enemy. She hopes the blonde can get over the territorial thing, because she really wants to get along with everyone, but if not, she's got claws and she's not afraid to use them.
"You held out on me! You didn't say you were moving back, I thought you were just visiting."
"It was a quick decision," she admits. "Good to be back, though. Partner."
"I'll say! Welcome back, partner. Hey, everyone is going to this bar, Molly's. It's where we hang out after work. Why don't you come? I'll buy you a beer. If memory serves me, I still owe you one."
"I can't tonight," she breathes as a reply, happy she actually has a good excuse. "Having dinner with Hank and Camille."
"Oh, well another night then."
"Yeah, definitely. Oh, and Jay?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm still driving."
He looks like she just punched him in the face as she turns on her heels, walking away with a smile. She's been back all of five minutes, but she already feels more like herself than she has in a while. Her phone flashes with a call that wipes the smile right off her face though. She swipes left, almost putting the phone back to her pocket, but she changes her mind and types a text first.
Stop calling me.