Title- A Dangerous Collateral
Pairing- Shinra x Izaya (Dark Shizaya)
Rated- M
Disclaimer- I do not own any characters. All characters belong to Durarara! Only the story line is mine ^.^
Warnings- Boy x boy (yaoi); Smut; Rape; Character Death; Colorful Language; Depression, yadda yadda...
A/N-Hey guys :D Well, I have the general idea in which this fic will flow. I've never read or seen the Shinra x Izaya pairing before, all I wanted to write was a dark Shizaya fic where one dies, but then Shinra just had to butt his nose in :P so I'm writing this pairing for the first time. Please tell me if it goes well or not, since I don't even know if people would read this fic because of all the warnings, but I hope you will give me feedback because it always motivates me to continue writing O.O I was feeling in the mood to make something gruesome, so I hope you guys like it. And without further ado...
Enjoy~
Chapter 1
"He's dead," Shinra whispered, his sadness prominent in the way his voice dipped low an octave and his usual happy-go-lucky demeanor missing.
Liar! Was the first thought to go through Izaya's head as he examined the table before him. He made sure not to let his eyes look at the object occupying the table's surface, the blue blanket an eyesore. He didn't speak, choosing to work on keeping his smirk in place, but finding it more difficult than usual.
"Izaya?" the voice sounded hesitant, the brown irises flicking from the informants face to the body covered in the blue blanket and back.
Izaya didn't try to respond, fearing he'd let his mask slip on a losing battle to keep his emotions intact.
A hand reached up, fingers withdrawing shy of the informant's cheek before finding the courage to try again. A slow stroke, and Izaya let his gaze wander over to the owner of the hand before regretting it.
He knew he'd messed up big time when he saw the eyes behind glasses widen slightly in surprise, but the shock was dulled by the unnatural event that had already taken place. Red eyes quickly looked back down as the raven-haired man reprimanded himself in his mind. He knew his friend had seen the look in his eyes, but he couldn't tell which emotions were evident to the underground doctor.
Sadness? Rage? Guilt? Hate? Denial?
Probably all. Izaya could keep his face emotionless, but it was harder when the feelings were so damn powerful.
"Izaya, he's dead. You can't deny it and you can't do anything about it. It's over." The words were light, the tone heavy.
No. There's no way a monster could die so easily. Monsters aren't human. Shizuo's not human. He can't be dead.
"Maybe you should leave..."
And leave him alone? Leave a dead beast alone? Had he no right to stay?
"I can't keep this hidden, Izaya. His family and friends will find out. You should run away and stay low for a while."
Oh, that's right. It's my fault. I did this. I ended his life, just as he'd always promised to end mine. Isn't it ironic?
"I don't think it's wise to do so, but you can always turn yourself into the police. They'll find out anyways. But I can't promise your safety, so it's better to leave Tokyo, or Japan in general..."
Why's he helping me? I killed his best friend. He should be angry, turning me in himself.
"Look, we're the only two who know about this. You could always get the Yakuza to clean up the evidence. You don't need to leave, but I don't think this is good for you mentally. You've never killed someone before."
Yeah, I killed someone. I, Izaya Orihara, have blood on my hands. Why is Shinra helping me? Why does he care?
"Izaya, let's talk in the living room."
No, I can't leave. I need to see him. He can't be dead. He's never died, not after being hit with a truck, getting shot, or crushing his bones. How could he have died?
Slowly moving his hand from the table, Izaya reached up, fingering the sheet.
"... Don't..." But the informant wasn't listening anymore.
Wrapping his fingers around the blue blanket, he deftly pulled it down.
Oh god...
The motionless body lay still, and the eerily pale skin contrasted greatly from how it used to be.
Blood loss.
The eyes were closed, blond hair lacking its usual luster.
He's dead.
Resting his hand on the immobile skin, he resisted the urge to pull back from the sudden onslaught of coldness.
Shizuo Heiwajima is dead.
Taking back his hand, Izaya could only stare with wide eyes at the dead body before him.
Shizu-chan's body.
Despite Shinra pulling back the covers over his friend's body almost immediately, the image was already branded in Izaya's mind.
"..." Izaya didn't protest as the man clad in white pulled him out of the room by his arm. He didn't fight it when Shinra pushed him to sit on the lone table in one of his various other operation rooms. This one was more furnished, one made for temporary clientele.
Shinra sat across from his distressed friend, getting straight to the point.
"Why?"
Izaya blinked, once, twice. He juggled the one-worded question around in his head, weighing it to see if he would be able to come up with its partner - an answer.
He drew a blank.
Shinra, realizing the informant wasn't able to say anything, narrowed the question down, hoping that being specific would help get answers.
"Why'd you go so far this time?"
Izaya took in a deep breath, trying to form words with the help of inhalation. But it didn't work. His legs were shaking, his hands felt clammy, and he could feel his raven-hair sticking to his forehead with the help of sweat.
Word were stuck in the lump formed in his throat.
Shinra wouldn't let up that easily.
"What made you kill him?"
The crimson eyes blinked, trying to show without words what his mouth wanted to say: Please stop.
Shinra sighed, taking his time to adjust his glasses before speaking again.
"Izaya, I need to know and you need to vent."
The room was heavy with tension, both occupants aware of the corpse just a few doors down.
Izaya shook his head, unable to form coherent thoughts that were safe to let out.
"Izaya please. Celty will be here in less than two hours. I don't think I have it in me to lie to her about this if you're still here. And there's still the blood..."
Ah, yes, the mess. The beast had so much blood in him. It's surprising really. I didn't think a couple of cuts would work in making the red flow so progressively.
The younger male had worked on ignoring the blood splatters leaving a trail down the hall as they had made their way to the room, but now he was reminded of it. Reminded of the fact. Reminded of his act. His act of murder.
"Izaya, if you won't tell me, at least let me check up on you. You're hurt too."
No, I can't let you do that. If you see where they are, you'll find out. You'll know. You'll see that I'm more dirty than this little crime lets on.
The informant shook his head vigorously, the action more lively than any other he had made in the last four hours.
The four hours that I've been here. The four hours since I had brought the monster here. But I knew, I already knew before I got here that it was already too late.
He clasped his shaking hands together, trying in vain to stop their incessant trembling.
Too late to go back on the act that I had committed.
A hand lay on top of his, and he jerked in shock. When had the doctor moved to stand in front of him? The hand stayed where it was, and Izaya found it no easier to calm down.
Too late to go back on the act that he'd committed.
"Let me check. The wounds are worse than you're letting on."
The words were whispered, not sweetly or anything, but still far too gently for the informant's liking.
I'm a demon.
Shinra let his hands travel slowly up to the front of his friend's blood-soaked and tattered shirt, being cautious to stay deliberate. As if Izaya would run away.
But he's worse.
Izaya laboured his breathing, summoning up courage. The courage he would need to bring back his broken masks and deceive those around him.
Lifting his arms, he took hold of the doctor's slightly larger ones in his own. He yanked them away from himself, being vigilant to not harm his only friend as he put distance between his and Shinra's bodies.
He didn't take the effort to put a smirk on his face, using all of it to just choke out the words which were still refusing to make their way out of his dry throat.
"Shinra... It's okay. I'm fine. Look after the beast 'kay? Can you do me a favour and clean up this mess?"
Shinra looked at the black-haired man in disbelief.
"I already called for the cleanup."
When?
"But where do you think you're going?"
To get rid of my repulsive existence.
"Home."
Shinra didn't believe it. The doubt was written all over his face, as if etched into his delicate features.
"Like that?"
Like what?
"Is there something wrong with 'that'?"
Izaya put his hands on his hips and moved his feet apart, as if in a mocking stance. Both knew it was not so. It was because the informant had trouble standing with shaking legs, but he'd never admit it and Shinra found no reason to voice it.
"Look at yourself Izaya! You're covered in caked blood. Your clothes are barely holding together at the seams with all those rips, and not to mention your own injuries!"
"I'm fine." The tone was defiant, erroneously so.
"You can barely stand! You're pale and you look like you're going to faint in any second. And not to mention that there's something wrong with your legs. You're limping!"
Izaya froze in place, eyes going deceptively wide before he forced his features to relax again.
He knows.
He should have known, his friend wasn't a genius for no reason. He was a doctor that could tell what was wrong with his patient before even touching them. It came with experience and great intellect. What made the informant feel safe, thinking the doctor wouldn't have already figured it out with one look while his other friend was lying dead in the other room?
He knows I'm dirty.
Shinra frowned in worry, walking over to the raven-haired man in three long strides, his doctor's coat flowing freely behind him. He reached out to help his friend stand, fearing he'd collapse, but his hand was smacked away.
I need to leave.
"...Izaya?" The word was hesitant.
Now!
Turning sharply on the soles of his feet, Izaya took to leave. But he was stopped by a surprisingly firm grip on his shoulder. He clenched his fists in anger and annoyance, but let the feelings seep out quickly. He couldn't hurt Shinra.
Shinra walked in front of the informant, looking him in the face with a gaze of complete worry.
"Let me check up on you."
"NO! Damn it Shinra! Leave me alone. No wait, better yet, hurt me! I killed your best friend! Why aren't you hating me?"
The doctor gave a smile, albeit weak.
"You're my best friend too. And from the extent of your injuries, I can safely assume it was self-defence on your part. I'm right, aren't I? You'd never go so far unless your life was in serious danger. What happened?"
Izaya looked away from the unrelenting gaze, biting his lips to keep from spilling the truth.
"I can't tell you..."
"Why not? If your life was in danger, you don't have to not tell me. It's nothing to be embarrassed or angered about. It's a completely valid defence."
"No, I wasn't in danger..."
Shinra blinked in surprise, then looked at the informant's body. Unfortunately, it was hard to tell exactly how badly the younger male was hurt when he was covered in Shizuo's blood.
So he doesn't know.
Shinra sighed, then did something unexpected.
He hugged Izaya.
Izaya stiffened up immediately in the embrace, wondering why the doctor would hug him. It wasn't completely unlike the doctor to do so, but they'd never been the type of friends to touch each other casually. There was the informant's erratic personality and the doctor's love for his supernatural girlfriend that came in the way.
"I'm just glad at least one of you is still safe."
The words were spoken whispered inaudibly, but the informant could hear it loud and clear since it was spoken right beside his ear. He resisted the urge to stab the doctor for touching him, reminding himself in his head over and over again that he couldn't hurt Shinra, not unlike a mantra.
"You should hate me."
Shinra answered calmly, not moving from their increasingly awkward position. "I did, in the beginning. Right when he stopped breathing. But then I couldn't when I saw you, with that blank and hurt face on. The look of complete despair. You need me Izaya, and I'm your best friend. I'll always be here for you."
Finally relenting his hold on Izaya, he gave a low laugh with no mirth in it.
"And I always knew that one day, one of you would end up dead at the other's hand."
Izaya frowned, trying to swallow the hard lump in his throat. He refused to break down in front of anyone, least of all in front of the only person who actually could gain his respect and even adoration. His best friend. His only friend. He didn't plan on losing it.
Shinra could detect the tenseness in Izaya's taut muscles and decided to postpone the dreadful subject for the meantime. And besides, the man looked way too deathly himself to start interrogating him. His doctor side didn't have it in him to make a potential patient stay awake when rest was clearly needed.
"Ah, I guess you can always tell me later. Feel free to use my bathroom and wash up. The cleaners should be here any minute now."
As if on cue, the doorbell rang twice before the sound of a key juggling in the doorknob was heard. Shinra was used to calling these shady people in due to his profession, so it came as no revelation that they could enter into his humble abode without being welcomed in by the man himself.
Izaya tilted his head as he heard them move around, his face expressionless before he turned his attention back to the man standing in his way to the door.
"On one condition..."
Shinra grinned, the effect feeble but still better than nothing. He nodded his head to show he was all ears.
Izaya sighed. Some things never change.
"You are, under no condition, allowed to come inside while I am in there."
Shinra raised an eyebrow, but did not reject the proviso. It was odd, since the doctor had seen Izaya's naked body plenty of times, which led to him wondering why. Why was Izaya being so touchy? Well, he had just slaughtered someone and could be wary of hurting the doctor, but it still made no sense. What had Shizuo done to him?
He figured it would be best not to raise the issue for now.
Izaya made his way to the bathroom, knowing the apartment like the back of his hand. Going inside, he made sure to lock the door before leaning against it, his body shuddering in barely held-back sobs.
This will kill me.
He peeled his clothing off him, not even wincing as it rubbed against his own cuts. He was too far gone in despondency to mind any physical pain. Because how could he, when the mental battle was taking over his very being.
I think I'll kill myself before then.
He stepped into the shower, turning the water tap so that it was hot. It did little to soothe his aching body.
Because I can't tell anyone. Not even you, Shinra.
He lazily reached for the soap bar on the ledge.
Especially not you.
He scrubbed himself vigorously.
I'll have to take this to my grave with me.
He needed to clean himself, to rid himself of the filthy sensation abiding in all his essence. It was in vain.
I'm disgusting.
He watched as his skin turned red with how much force he was applying.
Repulsive.
He watched the caked blood gradually make its way down the drain.
Revolting.
But that wasn't the only color washing away.
Sordid.
In all the red was the color of white.
Sickening.
It wasn't very noticeable if you weren't looking for it.
Filthy.
It came from between his legs.
I've been broken.
Not the front, but the back.
He's ruined me.
That was the part where he scrubbed most vehemently.
I can't go back.
Thoroughly worn out, he rested his head against the back wall.
I'm completely wrecked.
He could still see the images, replaying over and over.
Are you happy, Shizu-chan?
Images of his conformity, of the restraints, of the pain.
Is this what you wanted?
Images of the monster on top of him, inside him, around him.
Did you want to ruin me?
Images of rape.
Because you succeeded.
Silent tears streamed down his cheeks in torrents, and he had to put a fist in his mouth to stop from crying out.
Congratulations.
A/N- Look! Some one-shot crack! LOL
I'm just joking...This will be pretty serious and complicated... Hopefully... O.o
Hate/Love/Don't Care? Please Review! It'll motivate me to write the next chapter :D