Chapter 1
Stay with me
Author's notes: Everybody, this is my second fic, one's still not finished… Well anyway, this is an Athrun and Lacus fic, which means Kira is not paired with Lacus, and Cagalli is not paired with Athrun. If you do not like this pairing, you press that BACK button above, yeah, on your left and press it. If you aren't insecure and though you like a canon pairing, but still want to read this, then continue. If you're an AxL fan, then great! Continue reading! Happy reading!
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED, because if I owned it, Lacus will be paired with Athrun and Kira and Cagalli will just be twins, nothing more, and nothing less. So that obviously did not happen in the series so, (obviously,) I do not own Gundam SEED/Destiny.
Winter. Lacus Clyne both hated and loved the cold. Hated it, because it was during these opportune moments that time seems to stand still, that with every snowflake falling from the sky, she remembers her parents tragic death.
'Mother, father, forgive me…' she thought sadly, a lone tear running down her cheek.
It was during these moments that she felt numb, despite the warmth that enveloped and lit the room with a bright red glow. She felt lonely…there was no one to talk to… not even her precious haro… she needed the warmth of somebody by her side…loving and caring…
She loved winter because with every snowflake falling from heaven, she can hear her father's voice, whispering softly, mingling with the wind. With every winter she remembers the times she made snow angels, played snowball fights and erected snowmen with her father alive and well, her mother taking pictures, storing precious memories in the little electronic device. No, she hadn't done that in years…not when her family was dead, leaving her all alone… and not without HIM…
Suddenly the doorbell rang, its sound vibrating throughout the mansion. Lacus sat up, visibly surprised, as she heard barely audible voices echoing from the living room.
"Lacus…?" A voice said, so warm and welcoming, in contrast to the weather, as the butler replied, "In her quarters, Master Zala."
Lacus relaxed, coming closer to the warmth of the fire. She hugged herself, humming to the tune of her own song. With every tune she heard footsteps, faint at first, then louder as it came closer.
Shizukana kono Yoruni
Anata wo matteruno
Ano toki wasureta
Hohoemi wo tori ni kite
Are kara sukoshi dake
Jikan ga sugite
Omoide ga yasashiku nattane…
She heard shifting, but made no move on hearing those sounds. Suddenly, a voice whispered softly, so low but heard clearly in the silent room. "Lacus?"
Lacus faced the visitor, her warm blue eyes looking, smiling, her mouth curving upwards, giving a small smile then a few words. "Yes, Athrun?"
Her visitor raised a hand, then bringing it down her back, rubbed softly, back and forth, back and forth, sending currents of heat throughout her body. He said gently, "Are you alright? Mika said you haven't move an inch…"
"I'm fine Athrun…" She quickly replied, facing the fire again, the coals reflecting in them. Athrun opened his mouth to speak again, but Lacus continued, "I'm glad you visited. Mr. Pink has been calling your name these last few days… and so am I. I missed you."
Athrun held out his hand that has been caressing her back, and brought it to her face, connecting his eyes with hers. "I missed you too." He replied, embracing her. Though surprised, she returned the hug wholeheartedly, saying, "Thank you for not leaving me alone…"
"I wouldn't leave you alone." Athrun comforted her, as he felt tears running down her face, making his clothes damp with tears. He untangled himself from her, and using his hands, made her lie down on his lap. Lacus moaned softly, getting comfortable, Athrun's warmth coursing from his body to hers, as he touched her hair, caressing it gently. Lacus moved herself to make her more comfortable and slowly closed her eyes and drifted slowly to sleep. Athrun chuckled gently, and with amazing strength, carried her to her bed, covering her small body with her blanket. He moved to the door, getting ready to open it, ready to change in his own quarters when Lacus's voice rang out softly.
"Athrun, don't go…" Lacus whispered, sitting up. "Stay with me."
Athrun faced her, smiling gently as he nodded, acknowledging her request. He moved closer to her, then sat at the edge of her bed.
"Why Lacus?" he said, as he stroked her hair gently.
"I don't want to be alone anymore…" she said, tears flowing from her eyes once again.
"Shhh…Lacus, it's okay… you are not alone, and you will never be…" He comforted her. "What about Kira?"
"Kira? He said he's not yet ready for me… he still felt bad about that redhead girl… what was her name again? Oh yeah, it was Fllay…" she replied as she smiled, albeit forcibly. "What about Cagalli?" she echoed.
"The princess? Oh, she's still in Orb… she doesn't want to have a relationship… well not yet, she said."
Lacus forced out a laugh. "Then were both rejected idiots."
"No, you are not, Lacus. Kira just doesn't see what he is letting go carelessly that was given to him freely." He said, cupping her face to take a good look at her, and offered an encouraging smile. Lacus smiled back, wiping her tears.
"Go back to sleep, my angel. Sweet dreams…" He finally said with a sigh, covering her with her bed sheets. He turned away but a hand held him back, gently but firmly. "I will have a good night if you'll stay here." She promptly said, not letting go.
Athrun laughed quietly, surprised at Lacus's actions. "I will stay here for more than a week in the mansion, Lacus. You can't have missed me that much, could you?"
"I mean, stay here with me, in my room. You can sleep here."
"Huh? Why?" he asked uncertainly, dumbfounded.
"I just want you too."
Athrun chuckled. Really, Lacus was turning out to be a bit like Cagalli herself! Now he wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad sign…
"Alright Lacus. But can you let me change? My shirt is wet, be cause of your tears…" he said softly, pointing to a damp spot on his shoulder.
Lacus laughed softly, nodding as she let her fiancée go
A few minutes later, Athrun went back in Lacus's quarters, only to see her dancing gracefully, twirling round and round. He watched, transfixed, at her graceful movements as she sang with the song playing.
Lacus dipped her head and waist as she felt a hand supporting her back. She smiled again, and with Athrun, danced the night away.
A few hours later, the music stopped and Lacus drifted out to her terrace, and gazed up at the stars.
"The stars are always visible, aren't they? Even in the snow, their beauty can still be seen. They are the guide towards the light… towards the fields of hope."
Itsuka midori no asa ni
Itsuka tadoritsukeru to
Fuyugareta kono sora wo
Shinjiteiru kara
Fields of hope…
Athrun glanced at Lacus, whose eyes were closed. He glanced at the stars, and saw them twinkling, so vibrant in the darkness, so bright against the shadows. It gave him hope to what he must do.
"Lacus, something is bothering you… I can tell. Now, tell me what's wrong." He forced Lacus to look at him, who turned his head away.
"Nothing's wrong." She forced a smile.
"Yes, there is." Athrun said, more forcefully this time.
"It's just so hard! I'm alone now! My parents left me! I lost them! Now, I almost lost you!" Lacus cried out, voice trembling.
"Lost…me? Lacus, you never lost me! I'm still here for you! You know that!" Athrun replied.
"You don't understand! Nobody understands!" She said, running out of her room, tears finally giving in. Athrun saw the last vestiges of her tears as she rushed out, roughly pushing him aside and slammed the door shut.
Athrun watched the smoldering embers die slowly, leaving the room to a brink of darkness. He had yet to see Lacus, because he thought she might have wanted some time and space to sort out her thoughts. Besides, he has some things to ponder as well that can't wait anymore.
'What had Lacus meant by that, anyway? Is it really the truth that Kira is not ready yet? Maybe something bad happened. A fight perhaps? Wait, I'm not supposed to meddle in these things.' Athrun shook his head.
He wondered what he wanted. What he wished for. Sure, he wanted peace. But what was supposed to happen after the war? He wasn't sure what to think anymore. He wanted something, something out of his reach… he wanted some…body. But who?
He heard the door shut softly as a slim shadow moved across the room. He glanced back, and realized, suddenly…I wanted her all along. Her face, her smile, her laugh, her calmness, her voice, her indulgence. He wanted her, after all those years he had let go… all those years he shrugged his engagement to her… he had let go… he didn't accept her love that was so freely given to him before..
"Athrun… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run out." Lacus said softly, her head down, her face downcast, seen by the pale eerie shadows casting upon her face from the light of the moon.
"Lacus…" Athrun pulled her face up and forced her to gaze at him. "Tell me what is wrong. Now."
"Why is it so hard to understand? I miss father and mother… they should have brought me with them… that way I wouldn't have to suffer alone…" Lacus whispered.
"Lacus…" Athrun said.
"I've always been alone… no one was there for me… until you. You helped me renew hope and strength, you gave me determination to live my life to the fullest." Lacus continued. "I was happy then… because you were there for me to cheer me up, to make me laugh… you weren't afraid of what you were going to say… it always came from your heart."
"But then your mother died and with her she took your happiness, half of your soul. You became different, angry and upset. You were afraid to show any other emotion other than anger. You'd always snap at me, make excuses why you couldn't stay… and then I understood. You don't want to be with me anymore." Lacus said, voice stronger.
"All the hopes I had for a good life with you vanished. My hope and strength vanished as well… But then I met Kira. Kira was good to me, and he showed to his emotions, the emotions you were afraid to show. He was different, but he reminded me of you…
"He was kind, like you before… and soon I began to like him. At least he hasn't changed. You then met Cagalli, and I saw that you liked her… more than me. Days after, our engagement was broken. I was deeply sad, upset and broken… but I knew I had to be strong… even for myself. You got angry at me, remember? Asked me why I gave the Freedom to Kira. Accused me of betraying the PLANTS. But I wanted you to go back the way you were before… so I had to enlighten you, ask you what you were fighting for. But my actions done before that was a grave but a good mistake. It led me away from you, whom I had loved… but it ended the war. I was distanced from you, but it gave me a chance to be with Kira. But then Kira, isn't ready for me yet… he still loved that girl Fllay… and I was different from her… but he cared about me… I knew that… but I had to leave him… I don't have to stay at a relationship that I don't have hope for, couldn't I?" Lacus gave a bitter laugh. " And I was alone again… but I wished you were back with me, because I know you changed. But you have Cagalli, and I don't have the right to interfere on your relationship… I can see that you were getting along well."
"Lacus…" Athrun said who had been keeping quiet the whole time. He felt a lone tear fell on his cheek, and said. "I'm sorry… I never apologized to you before. I am very sorry. I never knew that affected you very well. You were deeply loved, worshiped and adore… who was I but another face in the crowd. You were so happy…"
"But I was happy too. You were kind, nice and good. But I was insecure…. I was not worthy of you… I had always thought I never deserved you." Athrun continued. "But I know I was wrong now. You were right. I should have listened to you. We could have been together, we could have been happy. Sufferings wouldn't be so painful, sacrificed wouldn't have been so hard…"
"A lot of things wouldn't have happened." Lacus said, her voice wavering, tears still falling down her face. Her tears fell like rose petals, falling like the snow as t fell on the ground. Snow was very fragile, just like Lacus. He didn't know how hurt she was… how alone and left out she felt… "I lost you once Athrun... I didn't know I could lose you twice to somebody else."
"But we could still be together." Athrun said, grasping Lacus's hands. "It's not too late for a fresh start."
"No! We'd be betraying our friends! Our lovers! Cagalli may be waiting for you… Kira needs my help. We couldn't be together."
Lacus said, freeing her hands from Athrun's grasp. "You made a promise to Cagalli, that you'll always protect her. I made a promise to Kira that I'll always be there for him, I'll always wait."
Athrun sighed. "But I made a promise to you as well Lacus.. did you forget? I promised I'll always protect you." Athrun said softly, and closing the door to her room, he let a lone tear fall from his cheek.
Lacus sighed, sitting up. She had been crying for hours, and finally tried to get some sleep, but to no avail. She hears it, over and over again, whispering into her ears...the memories of long ago.
Flashback
"Hi! I'm Athrun… and I'm your, uh, fiancée." A little Athrun said, about 10 years of age.
"Hello Athrun! I'm Lacus! I'm your fiancée too!" A smiling Lacus replied, hugging him suddenly. He returned the hug, albeit hesitantly.
"Now that you'll be spending lots of time together, you should get to know each other." Patrick Zala suggested, smiling at Lacus who laughed happily. "Come here Athrun! I'm going to show you my favorite flowers!"
'We were happier then.' Lacus thought. 'I never had to worry about making appearances, we had fun being ourselves. But the war-'
Flashback
"He's just being used by the naturals, Lacus! I have to get him here!" Athrun snapped at Lacus.
"Athrun please, he said he had to protect his friends-" Lacus was interrupted.
"Friends? He calls those naturals friends? What about me? Am I not his friend anymore?" Athrun snapped again.
"Athrun.. please understand…" Lacus said, holding his face softly. Athrun pulled his face away, and walked toward the door.
"Please understand Lacus. You can't fight the war by laughing joyfully. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to do." Athrun said angrily.
'The war. It's all the war's fault! They never made anyone happy. They destroyed lives! They changed people! They changed you, Athrun.' You were not the person I loved anymore.' Lacus thoughttears falling againShe never thought she'd shed another tear this night. Sighing, she sat up, and felt the coldness of marble on her feet. The room was cold, the fire just smoldered, not shedding any light anymore.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she almost let out a laugh, but the laughter died out. She looked like a monster. Her eyes were red and puffy, her clothes disarranged form her body. Her hair was a mess. Grimacing at herself, she took a cold bath. Feeling quite herself again, she went back to sleep, finally succumbing to the coldness of the room.
Athrun sat on the balcony outside his quarters. He felt snow on his feet, face as well as arms. But he didn't mind them though. He had to sort out his thoughts, set out his priorities straight.
'What had I done wrong?' He thought. 'I wished life would have stayed the same, before the war.'
The memories… of us when we're still together.
The loss… when you told me you like him.
The pain… that I had to kill him.
Your betrayal… when you turned against your own kind.
The death… a path I have chose to walk to.
But even in the final moments of my life… your face still haunts me…
And at that very moment, I could only ask fate, why?
Why won't your face leave my heart?
Why can't I forget you?
Why… do I still love you?
'Lacus... why?'
Flashback
"What are you fighting for, Athrun? For the medals you're awarded? For your father's orders?" Lacus asked.
"Why have you betrayed ZAFT? Why have you turned your back against us?" Athrun asked.
"I wanted peace Athrun. I wanted Kira to end the war. You were incapable of doing that yourself." Lacus said. And softly, that her words were inaudible, "I don't want you to die."
'I'm sorry Lacus. Sorry for being so wrong.' Athrun thought. Sighing, he went back inside his room, siting near the fireplace, watching the fire dance and welcomed the heat flowing into his body. Staying there for several hours, he felt his eyes feel droopy and finally felt his eyes close, making way for his dreams.
well hello! I decided to cut this into chapters, coz it will be so long if this will be a oneshot, as I originally intended. well, is it okay?
well,I nedd your opinins so just press that little button under here.
here..
here...
okay? thank you!