A/N: Sorry guys this is what happens when i cant sleep, i write...a lot. This story idea popped into my head while i tossed and turned and attempted to get to sleep before 3 tonight (its now 4:19, i laid down for bed at like 1:30). Anywyas back to the story, i know im being a moron and taking on to many stories at once but no this is not a one shot. If this idea has already been done which im sure it has i do not mean to steal it, this story was mostly inspired by a wall paper i found where shizuru and natsuki are standing back to back and above them it says "Waiting For You." Throw in a lot of different songs, insomnia and BAM you got anothter fic. Well here it is guys.
ssjx7squall
"No..." One simple word, filled with so much desperation.
The sun had set hours ago, the only light coming from nearby street lamps, two figures stood in an apartment complex parking lot. A bike off in the darkness a short distance away, a large bulge on the back end of it.
The two figures stood only a few feet apart but for one the distance felt was so much greater. "Please Natsuki." Shizuru pleaded, her usual composure non-existent. Her voice cracked with each word she spoke, tears threatening to break loose from the dams she had built up long ago.
The other figure stood further in the shadows head down, a back pack over one shoulder. Natsuki's head was down. "I'm sorry Shizuru, I have to do this."
"Why!" Shizuru cried, forgetting to hide even the smallest traces of her emotions. "Is it me?"
Natsuki's head snapped up. "No!" Dropping the back pack she quickly walked over to Shizuru, putting her hands on the older girl's shoulders. She shook them slightly, demanding the other look into her eyes when she said, "Don't think that. It's me. I have to do this for me."
The tears broke lose from Shizuru's eyes and she began to sob. "I'm…I'm so sorry Natsuki."
Natsuki released grip on Shizuru's shoulders stepping back slightly to get a better look at the girl. "What?"
Shizuru stopped trying to fight the tears as she fell to her knees burying her face in her hands. "I'm sorry I love you. I'm… I'm so sorry."
Natsuki just stared at the kneeling girl shocked. "Shizuru…"
"Please don't go! Please! I'll… I'll try to stop loving you. Please. I'll try!" Shizuru had begun to shake violently, "I'll stop hugging you, I'll stop touching you just… please. I'll try to just be friends with you, just please, don't go." Shizuru had never hurt so much before in her life. The emotions she was exhibiting right now were nothing to what was rolling beneath the surface. She had only once before felt anything close to the strength of these feelings, and that was when she had gone insane during the Hime festival.
Except instead of the maddening sense of love that she had before, sorrow and pain were coursing through her being threatening to tear her apart. The only outlet they had was through her tears but that would never empty the ocean of pain that was walled up. "Please Natsuki, I'll try to be just your friend."
"Shizuru…" Natsuki looked down at her for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of the girl. She pulled Shizuru into her arms and held the sobbing girl. She looked down trying to look into the other's eyes but Shizuru still had her face covered with her hands. "What I don't want to be friends?"
Shizuru's breath caught when she heard this. The pain swelling in one torrential wave as it wracked her being again. She doesn't even want to be friends. Burying her face into Natsuki's chest she pleaded again, "I'm sorry I love you Natsuki. I'll…I'll stop talking to you, I wont be around you anymore… Just please don't leave."
Shizuru didn't know how to face her emotions at the moment. She was so close to the person she loved more than anything else but so far. She would do anything to keep Natsuki here, even go through the pain of not being near her. It would be torture but just being able to see her would give her some peace.
"Shizuru." Natsuki's tone caught her attention and she looked up at her. Natsuki gently grabbed her chin and looked directly into her eyes. "That's not what I meant."
Shizuru's breath caught again, and Natsuki pulled her up into a tight hug. Her arms wrapping tightly around Shizuru. Shizuru returned the hug with all her might, all the desperation to keep the other here flowing into her arms. She put her head into Natsuki's neck and sobbed.
Natsuki leaned and put her head into Shizuru's neck before saying, "You mean so much more to me than a friend. I feel so deeply for you Shizuru." A quick sob escaped Natsuki's mouth. "But, I don't know if… if I can love anyone."
Both girl's tightened their grips on each other. "You are the most important person in my life. You're the only reason I'm still around. After…after my mom you are my only reason for being around." Natsuki began to shake. "But, I'm not being fair to you. You need more than what I can give right now."
Shizuru shook her head. "No… I don't need more, I don't."
Natsuki put her hand on the back of Shizuru's head. "But you deserve it. That's why… That's why I need to do this. To see if I can love anyone. I need to find myself first."
Shizuru's grip tightened. "Please don't go."
Natsuki pulled back looked Shizuru in the eyes. Tears were streaming down her face as she spoke, "I have to…" She leaned in and put her forehead up against Shizuru's. She closed her eyes fighting her tears. "I'm tired of hurting you like this. It's tearing me up so bad I can barely breath anymore."
"Natsuki…" Shizuru's sobs intensified.
Natsuki pulled back again and looked at Shizuru before pulling her into the tightest hug yet. "Just know… I will be back. And if…" Natsuki began to fully cry. "And if you've found someone……I'll be happy for you. But, I will always care for you Shizuru."
With that she gently disentangled herself from Shizuru stood up and walked away. Grabbing her backpack on the to her bike she put on her helmet fighting her tears. Opening the visor she looked back at Shizuru. "I'll miss you. And… I…" Suddenly angry Natsuki shook her head violently before slamming her fist on the ignition button. The bike roared to life and she sped off quickly into the distance tears streaming down her face.
Shizuru just fell to her side and laid on the rough asphalt and cried as thunder roared over head before sheets of rain began to fall.
"I'll always wait for you, Natsuki"
A/N: Ok im not the emo type but im starting to get worried. In the past two months i have almost cried twice while writing my own stupid fics...On another note, when your an alcoholic, alcohol sucks at helping you get to sleep