I had to versions of this written. The good version and the bad version, the good verison wasn't working so this is the "bad" verison.

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Twilight!

It'd been six years sense I left Forks to go to college. I never went back to see my parents because I was a failure, I flunked out of college the second year and got addicted to drugs. It was stupid I know but I needed something to stay awake to study so I tried Cocaine and once I took that first line that was the end of it, I was addicted that moment on. When Cocaine didn't satisfy my need anymore I got on pain pills and Heroin. Now I had track marks all over my arms and neck, just by looking at me you could tell I was an addict, I was pale with big dark circles under my eyes and when I wasn't high I trembled. I'd been in New York for six years and in those six years I managed to flunk out of school, become an addict, owed a lot of people money and got a shitty apartment in a bad side of town. I'd been on drugs for five years now and it was getting worse.

I didn't talk to my parent much, every once in a while I'd find a payphone and call my mom just to hello. She always asked me how I was doing; I'd always say I was great even if I wasn't. I knew she knew something was up, I guess it was that mother instinct but I never told her about my problems and she never asked, I just told her I dropped out of college because of the stress. She always asked me to come home but I couldn't, I had no money and no car. I worked as a waitress in a diner making little money and the money I did make went on rent, bills and drugs but mostly drugs. I was about 30 pounds lighter making me a small 90 pounds; I never ate because like I said I bought drugs not food. I knew I needed help but I didn't know who to call so I just suffered wishing the next shot or snort would kill me.

I threw my keys on the counter of my small apartment and threw myself onto my couch. I looked at the needle on my coffee table and sighed as I picked it up. I took my apron off and tied it at the top of my arm to bring out my veins, when I found one I stuck the needle in a pressed the top of it, I took it out and threw the needle on the table and sat back on the couch letting the high over take me. I touched the necklace Emmett had gotten me on our one year anniversary, I still had the promise ring on it and I never took off the necklace, I'd been offered thousands of dollars worth of drugs for it but I could never do it, the necklace was apart of Emmett so if I wore it then it felt like Emmett was always with me.

I wondered around the apartment for a few minutes just for something to do, I was anxious from the drugs and I normally cleaned or just laid on the couch but my house was clean and I couldn't sit still so I decided to go for a walk. I put my hood over my head and headed out into the dark city. I passed a few payphones every now and then, when I passed the sixth one I realized I hadn't talked to my mom in a month so I picked up the receiver and stuck in my money.

"Hello?" I heard my moms comforting voice on the other end and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hey mom."

"Riley? It's been so long sense you've called, are you okay?"

"I'm fine mom I've just been busy working at the diner. How is everyone?"

"We're fine. I ran into Esme and Carlisle the other day and they asked how you were doing. Alice wants you to call her."

"Okay I will." I lied.

"Really do it Riley, she's really worried about you." My mom told me.

"Okay I promise as soon as I hang up with you I'll call Alice." I promise. I imagined Alice had been seeing what I was doing.

"When are you coming to visit?" My mom asked.

"I don't know mom, we've been so busy at the diner, I really don't see me getting anytime off but I promise I'll try to as soon as I get a chance." I heard the operator come over the line and tell me to deposit more money.

"Mom I better go I only have a few cents left and I'm going to call Alice with it." I told her.

"Okay honey. Please don't take another month to call and if you need anything baby just let us know. I love you."

"I will mom, I love you too." I hung up the phone and had to fight back the tears that were forming. I stuck the rest of my money into the phone and dialed Alice's cell phone number.

"Hello?" I heard her sweet voice on the other end.

"Hey Alice, its Riley." I smiled.

"Riley!" She yelled, "I've been seeing what you've been doing and I don't agree with it. You need help."

"You haven't told anyone have you?" I wondered.

"Just Edward but for obvious reasons but he promised he wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"I'm going to come see you. You should really get some help Riley." Alice told me.

"What do you mean your going to come see me?"

"I mean that I'll be there in about three hours. I'm leaving now."

"No, Alice wait! I have a job I have to be up early in the morning."

"It's okay Edward is going to call in for you. I'll pay your rent for you but only your rent. I'll meet you at your house in a couple of hours. Bye." Alice said and hung up.

I looked at the payphone confused before I hung it up. Alice was coming to New York City to see me and I really wasn't anxious to show off where I was living, I was kinda embarrassed about it. I walked in the direction of my apartment kicking a can.

When I sat down on my couch I took a few pain pills to calm my nerves and started cleaning the already clean house for something to do. I knew Alice was coming alone because she said 'I'll see you in a few hours' but I was still scared for her to see the state I was in, of course I knew she already seen it in her versions but it was probably worse in person. I knew I looked like crap, I'd really let myself go over these past few years, nothing mattered anymore but the next high. Sometimes I even let my rent go just so I could buy drugs but I always ended up paying it because I could never live on the streets, if it got to that point then I would move back to Forks and that was something I didn't want to do.

I was lying on the couch after another shot when there was a knock; I put the needle, baggy of drugs, razor and straw in my box and slide it under my couch before I opened the door. I smiled at the sight of Alice who smiled back.

"I tried to get away alone but he insisted on coming." Alice said as she walked in.

I didn't notice Jasper standing beside her until she said something; I opened the door wider to let them in. I was really embarrassed by my apartment. They lived in a big nice mansion and here I was in a ratty apartment that was about as big as their bedroom.

"You look bad." Alice said as she looked at me.

"Thanks." I sighed as I closed the door behind them.

They both sat down on the couch and I grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and sat down in it.

"We stopped and paid your rent up for a couple of months and Edward called your boss and told him you had an emergency and you wouldn't be able to make it in for a few days so I can take you grocery shopping in the morning. I told the family that Jasper and I were going on a little trip to Canada to hunt some elk so they won't expect us back for a week." Alice smiled.

"So you guys will be here for a week?" I wondered.

"Or longer, however long it takes to convince you to move back to Forks and get some help." Jasper said.

"I'm not going back to Forks. I'm happy here." I lied.

"So I guess we'll be here for a while." Alice said as she looked around the apartment.

"How is everyone?" I asked desperate to change the subject.

"They're great. Nessie and Jacob are getting married, Bella and Edward are giving them their house and moving back in with us and Emmett is well… not so good."

I looked at Alice concerned, "What's wrong with Emmett?"

"He's just been down ever sense you left. He barely leaves his room, he goes weeks without hunting, he just wonders why you never call or came back to visit. He asks me if I can see you and I say no because I don't think he could handle hearing what's going on with you." Alice said.

I grabbed the necklace around my neck and sighed. I didn't know my leaving would have such a big impact on Emmett, he's the one that broke up with me so I could come here and live out my dream but this wasn't my dream, this was the opposite of my dream this was my nightmare in the flesh.

"Well, he's the one that said I could come here so it's not my fault he's depressed." I told them.

"And he's regretted it everyday sense." Jasper said.

I sighed, this wasn't Emmett's fault, this was my fault, I had gotten into this mess. Emmett sent me here with hopes I would go to college and make something of myself not become an addict and be a failure.

"I'm going to bed. Make yourself at home." I said as I stood up and headed to my room closing the door behind myself.

I would give up all the drugs in my house to talk to Emmett, just for a minute. I would tell him I was sorry, I was sorry I was a failure and that I took his wish for me to make something of myself and turned it into a big mess but most of all I was sorry I left him. If I could go back I would be apart of his family now but I was stupid and I just had to go to NYU and I wasn't going to let anything stand in my way not even the love of my life. I would tell him I was sorry one day, I didn't know when but I would stand face-to-face with him and tell him I was sorry for all the pain I'd caused him.