He traced the fire red scar that trailed in a steady anger over the the bridge of his nose down to his lower jaw. Unlike the painful sting he felt in the movement, there was only the sensation of an odd satisfaction at the mark, a brand given to him by the girl.
The girl. He thought of her often. He reasoned with himself that it was for the First Order, that such a powerful wielder of the Force must be planned for and studied but he knew that was merely self justification. The truth was he couldn't help it. Whenever his mind had an idle moment she was there, scowling into his mind with a stray hair rebelling into the breeze, skin as golden and glistening as the desert planet she called home.
He shook the image out of his head. It wasn't that. Not entirely anyway. The little scavenger was pretty but beauty to satisfy the body could be found anywhere in the galaxy. This was
different.
"Such strength.." She would soon overtake him in power. The Force came to her so naturally, easily, it practically flowed through her. He could feel her humming with it whenever he got close.
He could teach her so much. There was so much to show her. His mind lingered on the thought he had ruminated on so many times since she had awoken and dug into his mind so aggressively. The thought of her standing beside him, small frame not tensed for battle but expectant and eager for knowledge. Showing her all that he knew, her hand in his as he showed her how to channel her power. He would be gentle, patient, whatever she needed. She would flourish.
His brow wrinkled with frustration as he ran his hand through his dark hair, strands of rebellious curls falling over his eyes. She was too entwined in the light. He was far too entrenched in the dark. He was a monster in her eyes. The killer of the closest thing to a father she would ever have. It was a fool's dream to think she would ever soften for him. She could never really be his student. Looking up to him as a faithful little padawan. That was not her destiny. She was already his equal standing on the opposite side of that some great something that was bringing them together only to place them each on opposite ends. She had already overtaken him more than once. She would again.
He slammed his fist on the dashboard in front of him, causing the monitors to flare and flicker along with his frustration. The dull ache in his fist only confirmed what he knew. She was right. He was a monster. A violent, uncontrollable and savage creature. Not yet strong enough to handle the power his grandfather welded so effortlessly.
He takes a deep breath to steady himself. He wished he had searched more when he had the chance to peer into her mind so effortlessly. He lingers on the memory of the island on the sea. Its beautiful. Peaceful. Serene. If only he could have seen more. Seen how a scavenger girl from a desert planet dreams up peaceful islands and endless oceans. Seen the source of her fire.
The monitor in front of him chirps. The time for idle thoughts is over. He runs fingertips over the scars once more. It still stings. Time to focus. The island fades from his mind as he prepares for take off