Dear Severus,
This is really a stupid idea but I have no choice in the matter.
I'm supposed to write about my 'feelings' so that 'it will ease my mind.'
But I know it will take a lot more then just writing down everything will make me forget. Stupid absent minded mother.
Though I guess she means well. And I know she does love me and all. But she can be a bit scatter-brained after all.
Well then where do I start? Potter I guess. The Arrogant Ass that thinks he's the king of the world.
I wonder if when he was a child his mother dropped him off their roof. Or just before school started first year, his father confunded him and now he's under the delusion that everybody thinks he's can never loose.
He thinks just because he saved my life from his and Black's idiot schemes about feeding me to Lupin. And I was right! He is a Werewolf! That I'll bow down at his feet and worship him!
One day he will fall. And I shall be there Gloriously and Triumph. I shall be ahead then.
I really don't want him dead. Maimed, in a Coma yes, but never dead. Besides the longer he lives the more he suffers. I will be his leader someday! He will not win!
I will make him pay for all he's done to me!
Bullying, Torturing me, sending me to the Hospital Wing multiple times over.
He even stole Lily from me.
With one word, that I now despise, ruined our friendship.
And now he has the only real thing, well women, I have ever managed to hold dear in this mangled up heart of mine.
Besides my scattered brained mother.
Maybe.
But even though it was mangled enough to begin with. When she told me that she never wanted to see me again. It broke the mangled thing.
And it never will repair.
I lost her to the Big-Headed Pompous Prat.
Who knows what their getting up to in the Head Dorms.
But the way I feel I will never get over her. I will always love her.
No matter what happens I will always love Lily. Death Marriage. Or whatever will happen in this war coming up.
- Severus .
Severus then took the paper sealed it and put it on his desk, covering it with other papers. Never to be seen again.
At least that's what he thought.
18 Years Later
Severus walked into his childhood bedroom. Grimacing at the dusty room he raised his wand and waved it.
Nodding at the cleaner room. He turned to leave when he saw a sealed envelope with his name on it.
He picked it up and opened it and then sat down on his old bed and read it.
Raising his brow he thought about his seventeen year old self sitting down in this room and writing it.
'Well I still hate Potter, that much hasn't changed. Just now I have his spawn to torture.' Snape thought. 'And I did become Potter's Leader. Technically. I became his son's Professor.'
"And I was right about Lily." He said softly as he stood up and put the letter in his pocket and started to walk out the door.
"I will Always love her." He then closed the door on the dark room, and closed his mind to the old memories.
But never will he close the doors to his old mangled, and broken heart.