A/N: Happy 27th Birthday to everyone's favorite Kim Heechul! This started out being a drabble in my school note book, but then I kinda liked it and just transferred it to a b-day fic! So Enjoy! Rated T for some licking :-P
Shy
Everyone knows how I like to flirt and goof off so much, but I guess that really isn't me. If you ask any of the members seriously they'll answer the same thing. They say I'm shy, and I guess its true. I, Kim Heechul, am secretly shy.
I have to say, that there's only one thing I don't like about being famous. People sticking their noses in my business, and changing who I really am. But, I guess we all have those public character masks. Don't get me wrong, some of us are actually the same. Like Leeteuk. No matter when, he's like our umma, always taking care of us. But its people that you don't expect that are different. I'd say that me and Hangeng switch roles when we walk into the spot light.
I remember when we all got together for the first time. It was so awkward for everyone, especially Hangeng. He had the language barrier to worry about. So when we debut, he was so quiet. We had already become best friends, so I knew what he was really like.
He always had so much energy. He would dance around like crazy with Donghae and Eunhyuk, and just as easily go help Ryeowook and Leeteuk in the kitchen. But, I always remember how he joked. No one was off limits. He teased everyone, especially me. He always thought it was so funny that I couldn't dance at all, and instead of begging people for help I would just stand back in the corner and watch. He used to try and help me with the dances sometimes, but he was always so himself. Even when we were alone he would joke and even flirt with me. But everything was a joke, a laugh, nothing. I still think that's where everything started. When he would treat me a little differently. He would still joke, but he would help. And flirt. Flirt. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it, but it was weird at first because he hadn't done it to anyone else as much as he did it to me.
The night before our first big interview he had joked that he would be so quiet that everyone would mistake him for me. I just laughed it off, but it got me thinking. If he's being me, why don't I just be him. I almost hoped that he would be quiet, because I wanted my chance to act crazy and not have a care in the world. He could do that every day, but I was scared to.
It was hilarious the first time I acted like him. No one knew what was going on. After we preformed I ran up behind Leeteuk and Sungmin and was just hanging off their shoulders. I guess that started the whole touchy-feely thing. Everyone was so shocked that the "quiet" one became the flirt of the group, but it was weirdest for me.
It wasn't until a year after debut that I realized I loved Hangeng for his personality. The way we acted between our two personalities was so similar that we were somehow connected. That's when I decided to make him my stage target. People just thought it was funny, giving him extra hugs, touching him just that little bit too long, but he knew. He knew I loved him. I don't know how, but he did.
I remember the first time I blurred the line too much. During a concert when I pretended to kiss him. I remember being so close and I couldn't help it. I still remember his face. How wide his eyes went when it happened, more shock than anything else. I still remember what I did. I slowly licked along his bottom lip before I could stop myself. I remember the first time I felt those wonderful lips. But then I remembered where I was, I saw his face and remembered that it was supposed to be an act.
I couldn't believe that I had just done that, and neither could he. The rest of the concert was the first and only time that I was different. I was myself. I was careful of every touch and made sure to keep my distance when I could. And I remember Leeteuk asking what happened after the concert.
We were having our usual after party back at the dorms, just us, and I was still keeping my distance from everyone, Hangeng in particular. Leeteuk noticed when we were all sitting around the room talking. I was as far away as I could be from Hangeng and was being my quiet self, and Hangeng was right in the middle of everything being his crazy self, but I guess I was quieter than usual. That's when Leeteuk asked.
"Heechul? What's wrong? You've been acting really weird since we were at the concert."
Suddenly everyone was looking at me, almost everyone. I didn't know what to do. I started blushing, and stammering. I couldn't get a word out for the life of me. I quickly glanced up at Hangeng and saw him looking down, nervous. But oh no! Leeteuk caught it. He turned to Hangeng next.
"Hangeng? What happened?"
I quickly stood up and ran from the room, and prayed that I could get away. I thought I did until I heard someone call my name. But it wasn't who I was expecting. I will admit that I was shocked for a moment, and that was probably what let him catch me. I tried to get to my door, but didn't get there I time. I was stopped. Pinned to the wall.
I looked up to see Hangeng looking down at me. There was confusion on his face, that and something else. I honestly didn't know what to think, or do. If I was the "famous" Kim Heechul, I would have kissed him easily, but I was the real Kim Heechul. The Quiet one that could barely look him in the eye.
"Heechul," he said sternly, without even an accent to stop him. "Why?"
I was really stuck there. I tried to open my mouth, but no words would come out when I tried to make a sound. I tried to move, to run, but I couldn't move. All I could do was stare at him and hope he could read it in my eyes.
I remember when he did read it.
"Heechul…"
I remember how gently he said my name. How easily it rolled off his tongue, and how beautiful it sounded. I remember what happened. I remember when he gently held my face in his hand and ran his thumb down my cheek. How he stopped at my chin and gently tilted my face up towards his.
I remember how he slowly leaned down and brushed his lips against mine, then how he did what I had done to him. He gently licked along my bottom lip, almost like he was scared… shy. I remember how I had already pulled my hands up around to the back of his neck and couldn't help myself. When I felt him so gentle and shy I pulled him forward, kissing him hungrily.
That was the moment I knew that we were really the same person. That was the moment when I realized that we embodied each other. When we both had our times of energy and shyness. When we looked into each other's eyes, and didn't even have to say a word, we just knew. That was when I knew that the one I loved really loved me back.
A/N: Hope you liked it!