Note: I should have prefaced this story with a sort of intro...so here it is...

This story takes place immediately after "The 37's" but in my mind that episode happened later in their travels, not as early as the TV show had it happen.

Chapter 4

As Kathryn began to wake again she looked around sick bay. She saw Chakotay 1st, with his head resting on the bed and him leaning forward. She extricated her hand from his and ran her fingers through his hair. "he must have been here all night" she thought to herself.

Slowly he started to move and open his eyes.

"Hey there" she said to him.

"Hey there yourself, how are you feeling?"

"Like a limp noodle. I'd like to stretch my legs if the doc would just take the splints off. When will this treatment be finished?"

"It was finished an hour ago Kathryn. And he only had the splints on your arms while he had the needles in them. Nothing was ever on your legs."

"But Chakotay, I can't really move them!"

"Doctor, please come here" he called out. The EMH was at the bedside almost immediately.

"Captain, your fever is almost normal. I'm detecting no virus in your bloodstream."

"But doctor, I can't move my legs!"

Scanning her again he concentrated on her lower extremities. Pulling back the blanket to expose her from the knees down her touched her toes.

"Can you feel this Captain?"

"Yes, I feel it but that's it."

"Can you move just your toes?"

Slowly, she closed her eyes and concentrated on moving just her toes. Her right foot made a slight pointing inward, nothing on the left.

"Can you push against my hand?" as he held her right shin down on the bed ever so gently.

Slowly he felt a little resistance but she barely made his arm move. And again, the left side had no movement.

"Oh my stars! What's wrong with my legs? Why can't I move them? Will I be like this forever?"

"Kathryn calm down, we'll figure this out."

"Calm down? Chakotay, how can I run this ship like this? How can I do anything?"

"Captain please, I don't have the answers you need right now. I do know that you haven't fully recovered and this may be an after effect that will slowly improve. I'm going to run deep muscle scans to check the nerve pathways in all the muscle groups of both your legs." He then activated the clam shell around her, moving it lower on the bio bed.

"Chakotay what am I going to do if this is permanent?"

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. We don't know what to expect. Let the doc run his tests and we'll take it one step at a time."

After the scans the doctor went to the lab to analyze them. In the meantime he encouraged her to take some nourishment. "How can I eat at a time like this?

"Because you've had nothing in your stomach for 2 days. No matter what the outcome you need your strength."

"I don't know if I can do it Chakotay."

"Do what exactly Kathryn?"

"I don't know if I can live like this. I can't lead this crew! Not like this!"

"You're not the captain because of your legs Kathryn, you're the captain because you know the right decisions to make, to solve the problems we've faced, and to lead us in battle. You're still you!"

"I don't feel like me though." As she spoke a tear began to escape her eyes. She tried to wipe it but Chakotay did 1st. He then grabbed her hands.

"Kathryn, whatever the out come, you'll face it with the same Janeway determination that you've shown when we faced the Hirogen, and the Kazon, and the Borg!"

"I can't do it anymore Chakotay." I don't know if I have any fight left in me."

"I'm not ready to let you give up. Whatever it takes to get you going we'll find it. I promise you Kathryn."

"Thanks my friend. I just hope it's enough. Otherwise prepare yourself. You may be Captain Chakotay soon."

He was about to object when the doctor returned to the bedside.

"Captain, the neural pathways in your legs have been affected. To what extent only time will tell. It is possible that with physical therapy we can get some use back but I must warn you captain; you will not get 100% function of your right leg. The left is worse, I'm hopeful for 50% function. I wish I had a better prognosis."

She turned her head, afraid of the emotion that would pour out. Afraid of a future of being an invalid. Afraid of a starship she would never captain again.