A/N: In this story please forget completely about Mark Johnson. It's set as though he never even existed. Carry on ;-p
This would diffidently be an interesting alliance, Maquis and Starfleet, together for the same cause.
Standing in Captain Kathryn Janeway's quarters, Maquis Captain Chakotay nodded to her, "It's alright. I'll be a good boy and run along." He started to turn away before he whirled back to her. "The hell I will." He reached her in three strides, his hand closing on her throat. "Don't freeze me out of things to do with my crew." His dark eyes were shinning recklessly. "I won't have it. You can see what I can do." His fingers moved up and down the side of her throat. "I won't have you treating me like a subordinate."
"Then take… your hand off of me." The flesh on her throat was tingling and every brush of his fingers felt hot. She moistened her lips. "At first I thought you were going to strangle me."
"I can see that… feel that. Your pulse is pounding under my touch." His hand lowered to rest on her collarbone, his thumb rubbing the hollow of her throat. ""Damn." His fingers tightened on her throat an instant before it dropped away from her. He stepped back. "No. I can't."
She stared at him in shock. "What?"
"You're deciding the fate of my crew and I tonight. You're not going to accuse me later of trying to distract you and confuse you before everything is out in the open."
First bewilderment, then anger surged through her. "That's why you touched me you bastardy man? Some kind of a game? Some kind of a control move?" she backed away from him. "Get out of here."
"Control move? If I was in control I would have had you in bed five minutes ago. That's probably what I should have done," he said through his teeth. "And you would have loved it. You're probably the most sensual woman I've ever met. I just don't want you looking back later and thinking I'd… oh, screw it."
The door swished closed behind him.
She was shaking, Kathryn realized. She was hot yet shivering as though she had a fever.
It had to be with anger.
No, she wouldn't lie to herself. She was aching with frustration. Her body was primed, ready…
Damn him.
She curled up in a chair and tucked her feet beneath her. Don't shake. Don't think about how much she wanted him. It would go away soon.
And would she ever be able to look at him without remembering his hand on her? She hadn't gone to bed with him. He'd only touched her.
Yet her heart was beating so hard she was having trouble breathing.
Damn him.
….
She'd been stressing over the alliance she and her crew had to take on in allowing the Maquis to join them.
The talks she had with the Maquis Captain only proved to her how hard it would be to work with him and his crew.
This time was no different.
"What about mutiny?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"What do you think I mean?" she said curtly. "I'm willing to work with you."
"The odds are against it."
"Maybe you're wrong. It would be a waste, trying to merge our crews for something like that to happen."
"I don't want to disappoint you. If it's in my hands, I'll make certain it won't happen," He met her gave and added softly, "Anyway I have to, Kathryn."
She stiffened, "Really, Chakotay?"
"We're on an even playing field." He smiled. "That means this honorable restraint can go down the drain. Thank god. I was beginning to tire of it."
She didn't answer a moment, but heat flooded her cheeks. "Honorable doesn't strike me and a word for your vocabulary."
"Oh it certainly is. But now I know you feel that same as I do. We won't get any peace until this happens, until we KNOW each other." He could see her pules beating in the hollow of her throat. "Good. Fell it. Come toward me. I'm not going to touch you. You have to be the one to take the first step."
For a moment he thought she was going to take that step.
Then she turned and her privet bathroom door closed behind her.
Dammit. He took a half step toward the door before he stopped himself.
No, it had been close. Don't ruin it because you're so hot you're about to explode. Be patient.
Patient? No way.
….
She leaned against the door, fighting to keep herself from opening it again and going to him.
There it was again. That hot tingling that took her breath away.
Stop shaking. Get over it.
If she saw him in the next few minutes she wasn't sure she could contain herself.
…
The next day saw her and the Maquis Captain in a shuttle. They had found they needed Dilithium crystals for the warp core. Retrieving more had become their first job together as a command team.
"I'll make sure the storage container is stored properly in the back."
"That's fine with me."
"I'm sure it is," he said dryly. "The more distance between us the more you'll like it. You're treating me like I have a contagious disease."
It was true. She had been careful to steer clear of him. Sitting in a shuttle with him would pose extremely provocative. She could already smell his scent. "Really?" she didn't look to him. "And you're cut to the quick?"
"No, I kind of like it. It encourages me to know that I'm having an impact. The worst response would be no response with a woman like you." He stopped at the shuttle door. "Coming?"
She hesitated and then came toward him. "You think you know so much about me. Screw you, Chakotay."
He smiled. "That's what I'm aiming for." Keying the panel he opened the shuttle door. "I won't allow my crew to cross you. That means me as well."
Dammit, she couldn't breathe being so close to him.
"Shit," he said evenly. "You remember when I told you that you had to make the first step?"
She nodded.
"I'm willing to renegotiate. Just say the word. Any word. As long as it's not no."
It should be no. She wasn't able to think clearly and logic should rule a situation this volatile. She should be prudent and control this physical response that was making her weak. Yet all she could think about was Chakotay.
To hell with it. Reach out and take it. Take him. "Inside." She said shakily. "Now."
"That'll do." He took her arm and pulled her into the shuttle. "Oh, will that do."
Her arm was tingling, hot, under his touch. "Hurry."
He closed the door and pressed her against the bulk head. His body rubbed slowly against hers as he pressed her back. His lips pressed against the hollow of her neck. "I don't think I could wait." He was opening her command jacket as he licked delicately at her neck. "My hands are shaking so badly I'm not sure I can get these clothes off of you."
"I'll do it." She pushed him back and quickly stripped. "I don't trust you. If you have time to consider, you might come up with some reason why you won't…" She stopped and inhaled quickly as his hands went between her legs.
…Or maybe not."
"Good call." He was pulling her down to the floor. "I can't reason at all right now." He took off his shirt and threw it aside. He was astride her and she felt the roughness of his pants against her inner thighs. The sensation was vaguely erotic, she thought. Everything about him was erotic, his scent, his hands between her thighs, his flushed face above her.
"How do you want it?" He asked hoarsely. "Tell me. Anything you want, Kathryn."
His hands were driving her crazy. She arched upward as she pulled him down to her. "Just do it, dammit! I don't care!"
…
Returning from their Dilithium mission she felt madness. Clenching her fingers she turned in her seat. "I have to go. I need to…" She closed her eyes. She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay and then do it all again. She pushed up from her seat. "I'm going."
He didn't move, watching her move to the door. "I must say, you have a spectacular ass."
"Be quiet." She glanced at him over her shoulder. "In case you haven't noticed. I'm walking away from you Chakotay."
"I noticed." He smiled. "Now you know you can. But why not enjoy ourselves at every possibility? Life is short and you never know what may happen out here."
He was very convincing, she thought. She had never before seen such a male specimen and no male had ever done the things to her like he did. The sexuality between them was too strong to ignore and she knew she should be wary. After that day nothing was clearer.
"No?" His gaze narrowed on her face. "Think about it. There were moments today that you made me feel as weak and sappy as a boy. Maybe I should be wary of you."
She moistened her lips. "Maybe you should be."
He smiled. "I'll take my chances. Every time I sense a weakness, I will move in." He made a shooting motion. "But go ahead and run."
She nearly flew form the shuttle, standing in her shower a few minutes later, the cold water shocking her warm, relaxed flesh. She wished it could also shock her mind; it should have been able to prevent that sexual encounter from happening.
Forget it. So she had wanted him and had taken him.
Sex was sex. It wasn't as though there were anything deeper, that she was in…
No! She wouldn't even go there. She would get back home and then dive back into her life before any of this craziness had revealed itself. Her life seemed so far away and alien after this day.
She hoped she'd be able to go back.
…
Where the hell was ha hiding himself? She thought in frustration. After her experience in the shuttle she had hidden herself away. Though now, three days later she could find him nowhere, when she needed to discuss with him where his crew would fit into her ship.
There was no use panicking because the stupide man had hidden himself away from her. She tried to work out the roster on her own. But there was no way.
She ended up sitting on the bridge, like a wife waiting for a wandering spouse.
It had been hours before he stepped onto the bridge. Relief poured through her, immediately followed by anger.
His brows rose as he seen her. "Are you as annoyed as I think you are?"
"My ready room, now," she said even as she moved past him.
"Why?" he asked unmoving. "You didn't want to be around me."
Clenching her teeth she didn't respond as she continued into her ready room. She hoped he would follow her. As the door closed she could only guess if he had followed.
"I know I'm not your favorite person."
His voice made her pulse jump. "Why didn't you respond to my comm hails? We have to disguise your crew."
He crossed his arms as she turned toward him. "I thought they were supposed to be our crew."
Her lips thinned. "Then we need to disguise our crews roster."
"We need to disguise us." He corrected. "You ran and hid yourself away from me until you needed me for your purposes."
"This isn't for me." She argued. "This is for the people who look to us to keep them safe and get them home."
Moving forward he stopped when she was within arm's reach. He watched as her pules raced, the hollow of her throat bouncing along. He knew she thought he'd touch her and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he took a seat in front of her desk. "Let's get to work," he said evenly.
She blinked several times before she turned and moved behind her desk. Sitting she turned her computer so he could see it as well. "I need to know where you think these people should be placed. Then we can compromise."
He nodded mutely before they got down to the business at hand.
…
They'd been able to work together as well as could be expected, with him crossing her line only a handful of times. Though she couldn't seem to completely let go of the feeling that had been awakened in her, buy the man that was supposed to be off limits.
Hafting to live with the feeling she finally made a decision.
Entering his quarters he stopped in his tracks when he found her sitting on his couch. He made no move in her direction.
"You've completely turned my feelings in a 180." She looked to him calmly.
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know." She smiled lightly. "I was afraid. But I'm not any longer."
"No?"
She shook her head. "I can handle this. I… care about you, Chakotay. I love your body and the things you do to me. I feel more alive when you're with me."
"Good."
"But I don't really know you. You've told me a little about yourself, but we haven't gotten any deeper."
He smiled. "What's to know? I'm a shallow sort anyway."
"Liar."
"Okay, then are you going to delve into my souls untold depths?" he asked, lightly.
"Maybe."
His gaze narrowed on her face. "I warn you. If it means keeping you intrigued, I'll keep you probing your soul for the rest of your life. I'll tell you only one tell every night."
For the rest of her life. She tried to smother the joy that over took her. "I'm not asking for a commitment like that."
"Too bad, you've got it." He started toward her. "I want one thing from you. You've thought about how you feel about me for days. Now put that all together. Whether you think you know me or not, do you love what you know?"
"I have to have time to…"
"Commit."
"I wouldn't have come here if I hadn't thought we could have a relationship."
"Commit."
Dammit, Chakotay, don't…"
"Commit."
"Oh, for havens sakes. I do… love… you." She shook her head. "Dammit. I wanted to go slow. It's too important to…"
"Shh." He kissed her, hard, sweet, good. "I know. I'm not demanding marriage. All I'm asking is for this day, this moment, you love me. We'll take every day one at a time." His hands moved to touch her face. "Okay?"
She turned her head and her lips touched his palm. "Okay." She said.
"And now that we have that settled, may we please go to bed?"
"You're damned right." She smiled as she stepped back form him. "After all it's one of your very best talents."
Grinning he snagged her around the waist and pulled her into his bedroom.
FIN
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this relatively short story. Let me know what you think of it in comments please.
Also I hope to have the sequel to 'A Mother's love' typed and begin posting it before Christmas. So please be on the lookout for 'A Mother's Fear' in the next couple of months.