The DFH Stadium Massacre
It was a beautiful day, in DFH stadium. Take3 was up against G2, and it was a great match so far. Kronovi was playing well, but it didn't seem to be enough. The series was over, with Mockit Aces on top.
Kronovi was in the showers, taking a hot one after a hard loss. Suddenly, he felt a sharp slap on his rear. He turned around, frightened, and saw it was Rizzo.
"What are you doing here!" Kronovi said, "This is the G2 locker room!"
"I'm so sorry Kro!" Rizzo replied. "I just felt bad about today and wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it. I know I demoed you a few times, and I know that it hurts."
"You're damn right it hurts! How would you like it if someone completely blew up your car?!"
"I'm really sorry, man." Rizzo said apologetically, "So I brought you these." In Rizzo's hand was a big box of chocolates. The box said 'From Rizzo, To Kro'. With a cute heart on it.
Kronovi gave a suspicious look at Rizzo. He warily stuck his hand out and grabbed the box and pulled it away quickly. But, he had played too much Rocket League! His fingers were too strong, and when he gripped it, the box slipped. It seemed to fall in slow motion, and when it hit the ground, the sound seemed to be thunderous. Kronovi and Rizzo locked eyes for what seemed like an hour. Finally Kronovi turned around, and bent over to reach for the chocolates.
Now, you're probably thinking that Rizzo did something horrible, like rape Kro, but all he did was look. Kronovi stood up straight again, holding the chocolates. He shut off the shower and grabbed a towel. He went to sit on a bench, next to the lockers. Rizzo stood before him, looking at Kronovi with expectant eyes.
Kronovi opened the box, and immediately his eyes lit up. "Pineapple surprise!" He exclaimed, "my favorite!"
"I knew how much you loved them, so I figured it would be a nice gift." Rizzo said bashfully. Kronovi reached into the box, and pulled out a chocolate. He threw it up into the air, and tried to catch it in his mouth. The quaint brown square bounced off of his forehead, and tumbled to the floor.
"Whoopsie!" Kro said. He reached back in, this time putting it right in his mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head in pure enjoyment. After he was done with the treat, he closed the lid, put it in his locker, and turned his attention back to Rizzo.
"So, what did you want to say to me?" Kronovi asked.
"Well I wanted to talk about how things were." Rizzo replied. "I'm having some troubles in my life right now, and you were the only person I thought I could talk to."
"Ok… What did you want to talk about, Rizzo?"
"Well my wife of 27 years said she was leaving me for Jhzer. Said she just loves his accent. Also my 12 year old daughter just got pregnant, with no father either."
"Oh my GOD" Kronovi exclaimed. "It must be so hard!"
"I wish that was all. It gets worse." Rizzo complained, "My son is getting bullied by his own cousin, and my parents died from AIDS on the same day."
"Is there any way I can make you feel better dude?" Kronovi asked.
"Well there is one way, but it's a little…"
"A little what?"
"A little scandalous," Rizzo said with a seductive smile.
Rizzo let his towel drop to the floor, completely exposing his manhood. Kronovi watched, as the shaft began to lengthen and harden, by the second.
Kro stuck his hands out. "Woah, woah, woah man," he said, "I'm not into that kind of thing." Rizzo completely disregarded him, and kept advancing. Kronovi reached for his bag, trying to reach his Glock 19. But Rizzo was too fast. With one swift kick, he knocked the handgun right out of Kro's hand. The gun was all the way across the room, in the showers. The gun was getting filled with water, and would soon be dysfunctional. Suddenly, Kronovi realized he was in big trouble. Big.
Rizzo reached out, and grabbed Kronovi's wrist. Kro tried to pull away, but Rizzo must have been hitting the gym, because his grip was iron. Rizzo yanked Kro's towel off, and suddenly they were both buck naked.
Kronovi was beginning to feel weird. His balance was off, and his vision was becoming hazy. "What did you do to me?" he screamed.
"How could you be so stupid?" Rizzo laughed. "Why would I get you a box of chocolates? I hate you! And how could you believe I lost my wife of 27 years? I'm not even 27 years old!"
Rizzo reached out, grabbing 'below the belt', if you know what I mean. Kronovi screamed as he felt his 'pecker' being harassed. He screamed and screamed, but no one came to his aid. He looked down and realized, that his penis was throbbing. Rizzo grabbed a fistfull of Kronovi's perfect hair and pushed him down to his knees. Suddenly, Kronovi was faced with another penis. This one looking a little less unforgiving. Kronovi put his hands on Rizzo's knees, to prevent the shaft from going into his mouth. Rizzo pushed and pushed on Kro's head, but it wouldn't budge. Kronovi slowly pulled one hand away, still resisting the cock. He balled it up into a fist, and did something 'ballsy' lol.
With one swift motion, Kronovi's fist was jammed in Rizzo's crotch, Rizzo was making a sound that was like a quiet scream, and Kronovi was able to stand. Kro started backing away slowly, still looking at Rizzo. He suddenly felt something behind him, and realised Rizzo had locked the door before he started talking. They stood, in battle position, staring deep into each others eyes. After a good 3 minutes, Rizzo jumped across the room, performing a picture perfect flying crane kick. Kronovi realised what was coming, and grabbed Rizzo's leg, and pulled him to the ground. He put him in the figure four leg lock (look up Ric Flair doing it) and pulled hard. Rizzo tapped, and Kro let go, but he wasn't done. He picked him up and put him in a microwave. Kronovi grabbed all of the BBQ Beef Hot Pockets he could find, and put them in there too.
Kronovi quickly changed and came out onto the DFH Stadium field, ready to accept his 2nd place award. G2's ceremony lasted maybe a minute? Kro and his team walked down the steps and back to their seats. The announcer listed every good thing about Take3, for a strong 2 minutes. Then he said "Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome the team of Take3; Insolences, Zanejackey, and RIZZO!
The crowd saw only two members, and everyone in the crowd was wondering: Where in the World is Rizzo?
"Umm," the announcer said, "Does anyone know where Rizzo is?"
"I do," Kronovi said with a slight grin, "He's right here!" Kronovi showed the microwave, which was a bloody mess.
"He tried to attack me, so I had to put him in here," Kronovi said. Then, to Kronovi's horror, a man stood up.
"Sorry mates!" Rizzo exclaimed, "Just had to tie me shoes. Safety first, am I right? By the way, no idea who's in that oven." Kronovi opened the microwave door, and all that was left was Rizzo's head. But, this time Kro noticed something else. A zipper. He grabbed the head, and unzipped the mask. He held it up, and everyone stood and cheered! Kronovi had no idea why people were cheering, until he looked at the face.
Even Kro had a slight smile when he saw that the man, was none other than Roger Goodell. People rushed to the stage, pushing over the members of Take3. The crowd was doing a deafening cheer. "Kro! Kro! Kro!" they screamed.
Rizzo was fuming with anger. These people had just ruined the most important thing in his life. He had practiced this for years, even skipping college for it. He reached into his pocket, grabbed a silver whistle, and whistled an ear splitting sound.
There was a steady sound of something coming closer. It got louder by the second. Then someone saw it. "THE CONFEDERATES!" the man screamed. But it was too late; the fans had nowhere to go, and Robert E Lee and his men had all the people to shoot.
In the end, there were no survivors. But, this event did help to spark the Civil Rights Movement, and was forever known, as the DFH Stadium Massacre.
