The Prayer Warriors: Battle With the Witches. A Commentary by Rxe Rex...
Hi, I am Michael, and I am a prayer warrior(And I'm Curtis Rx's wife). I was sent by my teacher Jerry(Your teacher's name is Jerry? HAHAHA!), the main character in the other story(Of course), which follows a group of Christians who fights against the evil Gods of the Greek(Even though the Greek gods are entirely fictional?). I was sent here to England to bring them back to the one true path, and that is true our lord Jesus Christ(This person is not a Christian, he is a scumbag who deserves to be buried alive and suffocate to death...haha). My target was Hogwarts, and Stanic(Stan's my favorite South Park character!) school that still allows Witches and Wizards to exists, truly evil servents of a lorf(What the hell is 'lorf'?).
Before I went, Jerry said to me, "My follower, dear friend Michael of Christ, I have given you this job so that you can prove to the world how great Christ is, and he is the only true path(By killing thousands of innocent-not to mention entirely fictional-characters). I want you to go undercover into Hogwarts and pretend to be a wizard(So freaking cliche). You are not to preform any form of magick(He spelled magic wrong) as it is sin before our lord and savior Jesus Christ, eternal son of the only God. Instead, I want you to find out if there is corruption between the English government(My best friend Chelsea is British!) and Dumbledore(Dumbledore has a beard. He's cool), Hogwarts's twisted and sick head teacher(Master.Headmaster), who allows Witches and Wizards to worship Satan(In Harry Potter, the kids don't even worship Satan!) and preform dark rituals such as dancing naked in front in the rain(Cause the Hogwarts students run naked in the rain) sos that it made Christians die(Because dancing in the rain makes us Christians die). We must work out how to stop this from happening, for it is sin to murder someone like this!(LOLZ. It's shameful to dance naked in the rain. Period)
"For this to be successful, I need you to go to there train station in London, and walk through a wall(How can you walk through walls, wouldn't you break your jaw?). Be carefully(Yes Jerry, be carefully, you regurgitated pile of dipshit), for this is a creation of Satan. However, God will forgive you for using these stuff(He's using God's name in vain...), for it is for the betterment of the Christian empire. When you enter, pretend to be like them, but do not do any spells(Then how can he pretend to be like them? This is stupid for so many reasons), for it is sin against God, but he allows you to pretend to be a wizard, for it is for the betterment of us all. But beware, if you are to be forced to read a book, or a potion, or a spell, think to yourself a prayer: 'I am sorry God, for I have sin. I had not control over such doings(Yes, he does! No one can force anyone into doing things they don't want! They have their own brains! BRAINS, like zombie Curtis says), but it was for the betterment of all Christians, for it will destroy my cover if I refused to do so. Pleased Forgive me for all my sinful acts. Amen'. And so say that, and God will be forgive you. But you must read the Bible every day, for it is a sin to forget Gods words(God doesn't command you to read the bible every day, and it's not a sin if you don't). Do not full into temptation(He cannot full into temptation) or you will burn in the eternal flames of hell!(I'd love for Jerry to burn in hell)"
And so I went onto the plane, but as I was on it, I did prayed, for I need to bull strength(To bull strength), for I was to be tested. I also read the Bible, with the Book of Matthew, for Jerry ordered me dodo so(Jerry ordered him to do so...of course, how could I not see that coming). And then I got off the plane(No. Duh). I went to the train station, and I walked through the Static wall(The wall was static... interesting. Then I was a Satan Train(I cannot believe he became a Satan train), which was made of bones of death Christian martyrs(What the hell? I think they just grave robbed...), who died in an epic battle against Godwarts(Hogwarts is now Godwarts, how charming) many years ago, when it was banned to be a Witch(That doesn't make any sense) and the Holy Catholic Church control of the England(WHAT?). Then England rejected God, and started to worship a false god, Henry the eight(Henry the eighth was a god), the Satanic fool!
And so I went onto the Train, and I came across Ginny, one of the witches(What a great cliffhanger. Hey Thomas, Halloween is everyday).