Separation.
By hjbau.
Summary: This is a short one shot between Snow and Emma. Snow's thoughts and worries about being separated from her daughter, Emma, who is going to look for Rumplestiltskin's son.
Timeline: Season 2, deleted scene before Emma and Henry go to New York to look for Rumplestiltskin's son, after Ep 212.
Disclaimer: Once Upon A Time is the property of ABC studios & Kitsis/Horowitz. No copyright infringement intended.
Rating: K.
Genre: Family, angst.
Emma stands near the door to the apartment pulling on her coat, making a last check of things. Emma and Henry are about to leave Storybrooke on a quest to find Rumplestiltskin's son. Emma made a deal and a deal with the dark one must be fulfilled. For Snow White the thought of her daughter, her grandson, leaving town without her, is unthinkable. Leaving with Rumplestiltskin, leaving at all. She can barely even function as her mind whirls as she tries not to panic at the thought of it.
The problem is Emma made a deal. Snow knows said deal must be honored or something much worse will happen then a hopefully, blessedly short, separation. She thinks momentarily of her friend Ella losing her husband Thomas for all those months, months that lead to years separated under the curse. She did in the end, even had to give birth alone because of a deal she made. And Ella would have lost her baby, little Alexandra, to Gold's dealings if not for Emma.
That then brings Snow back to the point of her musings. She lost her daughter for twenty-eight years. She cannot imagine loosing her again and being separated, even for this short time, brings back all of those old fears. Emma is going somewhere that Snow cannot follow. She cannot choose to jump in like she did before. There is no choice. No choice, but to let her go.
Snow watches as Emma, lays her hand on Henry's shoulder asking him if he has everything packed, listing the things he needs, listening closely to his answers. She watches her daughter and grandson making their final checks before leaving. She looks over towards David and his eyebrows rise in question at her glance. She looks back at her daughter before stepping in close to her husband, whispering in his ear. David looks down at her and his face softens as he listens to her request. He nods.
"Hey, Henry," says David, causing both Emma and Henry to look over. "Come upstairs with me for a moment. Let's get the rest of the bags."
Snow watches Emma watch Henry and David head up the stairs into the loft. Snow stands there and just looks at her daughter, seeing a hint of confusion momentarily play its way across her face.
Their family had just found one another, finally, after all this time and after finding one another, they had been immediately separated. Emma and Snow had been lost in the Enchanted forest, separated from David and Henry, but, thankfully, they had found their way back. Now, finally, they were all here, living with one another, sharing meals, sharing jobs, sharing life, learning to be a family. And all of that together.
Until now. It was happening all over. Once again, they were going to be separated.
Emma looks back at Snow as the men of the family go out of view into the loft. Snow sees the confusion leave her daughter as her eyes soften and understanding arrives alongside a small smile of comfort as her daughter waits, watching her face.
Snow looks down and away, unable to continue meeting Emma's eyes, before taking the last few steps that separate the two of them. She places her hands on Emma's shoulders, brushing off invisible fluff, pulling on her daughter's scarf, making sure her coat is settled properly, looking anywhere and everywhere but into her daughter's eyes.
"Hey," says Emma, slowly, quietly, briefly touching Snow's elbow causing her eyes to immediately meet her daughter's. "It's going to be okay."
Snow doesn't respond, looking down again, continuing to straightening her daughter's coat, needing to touch her, needing the release of feeling her, knowing she is here, alive, with her. Snow thinks that she needs to be the strong one, that she needs to be strong for Emma, but the fear that this may be the last time they see one another is visceral. Snow wonders if there will ever be a time when it isn't. If there will ever be a time that fear isn't part of every separation.
"Hey," repeats Emma and Snow again, slowly this time, meets her daughter's eyes. "Finding people, this is what I do, I find people remember. I'm going to find this guy and then I am going to come right back. Everything's going to be okay."
Snow sighs, looking away, again brushing her hands down Emma's arms.
"Do you doubt it, Mary Margaret?" asks Emma softly, offering a slight smirk. "With the exception of my parents who were stuck in a cursed town, not aging, being controlled by an evil witch, and also happened to be Snow White and Prince Charming, in case I forgot to mention that, I always found my mark. I am going to find this guy too."
Snow takes another deep breath and finally speaks.
"No, I don't doubt it, Emma."
Snow doesn't. She knows Emma can do this. She knows that Emma will do this, but the thought of being separated from her...
"I just...this is the first time we have been apart since..."
Since the curse.
"I know."
After a moment, Emma gives a slight laugh.
"What could possibly be funny?" asks Snow White, raising her eyebrows.
"Nothing. I'm sorry," says Emma, still trying to soothe her, once again briefly touching her elbow. "It's just that usually a child is a bit younger when she spends her first night away from her parents."
Snow smiles slightly, but it is more pained then anything. This was not their first night apart. They had spent twenty-eight years of nights apart. That was enough for Snow to last a lifetime. She wants her daughter here. She wants her safe, not off in the unknown where Snow cannot follow. She sighs, again straightening Emma's coat and continuing to run her hands down her daughter's arms.
"I just wish we could go with you."
"I know," says Emma, looking Snow straight in the eyes. "I know. I do too, but you know you can't cross the boundary. Besides, I need you and David to stay here and look after Belle. I need you to take care of the town while I'm gone. With Cora and everything, I am sure you guys will be more then busy. And Henry and I will be back before you know it."
Her hands still moving over Emma's arms, Snow speaks wistfully. "Can't there ever be a time where we're just all here? All safe? Where we can take a breath and relax, and just be a together?"
Emma sighs this time.
"I hope so," she answers wistfully.
They both stand there quietly, lost in thought of the past and the present, a mother taking comfort from running her hands slowly up and down her daughter's arms and a daughter offering comfort by simply letting her. They take this moment to just enjoy being in one another's company. Snow trying not to panic, trying not to think that this could be their last time together, that this could be their last moment. It almost works, almost calms her, running her hands up and down Emma's arms, and Snow again takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly.
"Mary Margaret," Emma says, finally gently taking hold of Snow's hands, squeezing them lightly, "It's going to be okay."
"How can you be certain?" asks Snow in a small voice, so unlike the voice she usually offers Emma. Snow sees the pain flash in her daughter's eyes when she hears it. Her daughter then takes a deep breath, being strong in this moment when Snow cannot. Not in the light of inevitable separation.
"Because..." Emma says softly, insistently, offering her mother strength, "Because my mother taught me what my father taught her. To have faith. We just found one another and we are not going to lose one another again. We are not going to lose our family. I am going to do this thing and then Henry and I are going to come back to you. Remember when you told me to have faith that we would get back to Henry and David?"
"Yes."
"And you were right, we did." Emma looks at her straight on, so insistent, so certain. "So have faith again."
Snow looks in wonder at her daughter. She is so proud of her, so proud of this strong, determined, stubborn, brave, woman that is her daughter. Emma is more then she could have ever dreamed she would be. She is so loyal, so fierce, so protective, so kind. She is amazing. Snow stares at her daughter and she is comforted by the calm insistence she sees in her daughter's eyes. She knows that Emma is right. They must have faith. They will return to her. They will not lose one another again.
"Okay," says Snow, agreeing.
Emma smiles. She smiles and leans in, pulling Snow into a hug. For only the second time ever initiating the contact instead of just accepting it because Snow knows it is easier, safer, for her daughter to offer comfort rather then receive it. This is a step for them, another step forward, another brick from the wall, and Snow relishes in it.
And yet, she almost cries as her daughter comes into her arms. She almost breaks down and just sobs as she takes hold of her, thinking about how wonderful it is, just holding her daughter, how comforting it is in a way nothing else is. Snow can feel the lump in her throat, but she holds it in, not wanting to break down. She doesn't want what could be their last moment to be painful for Emma and she knows how much harder it will make this moment for the both of them if she cries.
This will not be a last moment though. Emma said to have faith and she must. She does. Her daughter, her grandson, will come back to her. Emma says so and Snow believes in Emma.
Emma doesn't just offer Snow a quick hug either. Instead, she allows her mother to hold her tight for long minutes, not pulling back, not tensing up, just letting her mother hold her. Emma seems to take just as much comfort in the contact as Snow does when she feels her daughter lean into the hug. Snow relaxes, pulling her tighter, stroking her daughter's hair.
Eventually, reluctantly, Snow pulls back and only then does Emma release her, letting go so that they can look into each others' eyes.
"Now," starts Emma, smiling, "let's call the boys back down and make sure we have everything ready to meet Gold. We don't want to keep him waiting."
Snow takes one more moment, again readjusting Emma's scarf, tugging on her coat, running her hands down her daughter's arms.
Preparing herself to say goodbye.
Finally, she looks up, watching her daughter's eyes light up as she looks into her mother's eyes and Snow looks back feeling truly calmer for the first time since she heard of this deal, this separation, a calm that only Emma could offer her. Snow then runs her hands down her daughter's arms one more time before finally letting them drop as she returns her daughter's smile, nodding her head in agreement.