A/N: I know. Many of you are awaiting updates on The Art of Seclusion. It's coming. I'm in the process of getting it edited. In the meantime, I hope you like this. A HUGE thank you to who convinced me to write this and for all of her help so far on figuring out the plot. She's the best. Enjoy!
The Road To Ruin (we started at the end)
Prologue
She left the ludus, attempting to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Her son clutched her hand, ignorant of her emotions as they walked. How dare he question her loyalty, her love, to him. After everything that they faced together. After she stood by him, watching as he gambled their lives away. And when he told her he was leaving...
She held herself together through the streets of Capua, but as she got closer to her home, her resolve faltered. She felt her lip quiver and it felt as if someone was strangling her before the tears started to fall. Her free hand rose up to cover her mouth, hoping to quiet herself before someone heard. It was enough trouble that Titus had-
"Are you well?"
The voice startled Aurelia out of her thoughts, and she looked up to see a woman standing before her. Her attention focused first on the large scars on the woman's lip and cheek and Aurelia's mouth fell open at the sight of them. There were more, she realized, on the woman's chest. Her gaze snapped back up at the woman's eyes, who were watching her carefully.
"Apologies," Aurelia said.
The woman nodded her acceptance of Aurelia's words. "Are you well?" she repeated.
"I am," Aurelia said fairly quickly. The woman seemed to accept her answer and Aurelia stepped forwards, eager to reach her home. The breath caught in her throat though and the tears would not stop.
The touch on her arm was soft enough that Aurelia almost did not feel it. She turned though, looking back at the woman who was now looking concerned at her state.
"I wonder..." the woman said softly, before giving a small smile. "Are you certain?" Her gaze dropped down to Aurelia's son.
"I no longer know," Aurelia replied. The air felt like it had left her lungs. "My husband...it is...that is, I fear for him." She watched as the woman's lip pressed together, enhancing the look of the scar that marred them. "It is not that he is..." Aurelia quickly said, trying to erase the look that passed in the woman's eyes. "I fear that the gods would take him from me too soon."
"What brings this fear?" the woman asked.
"He is a gladiator," Aurelia admitted softly.
"And they have wives?" the woman looked surprised.
Aurelia smiled softly. "We were married before he entered the service in search of honour."
"And is it this fear of his death that brings you to tears now?"
The thought of Varro's tears at her admission, his anger and blame, caused the tears in her eyes to spring afresh.
"Perhaps," the woman said, "we should have this conversation elsewhere presently." Aurelia could only bring herself to nod. "Come then, away from prying eyes."
The woman led Aurelia and her son to a small home, not a great distance from Aurelia's home. "It is only I who live here," the woman said, relieving any fear of Aurelia's of another occurrence of Titus's atrocities against her. "Rest yourself" she said, leading Aurelia to a small bench, "and you may speak freely when you are able."
Aurelia sat down, her son on her lap, and watched as the woman moved about the house, fetching cups. "Gratitude," Aurelia said. She suddenly felt pressed to introduce herself, to know the woman who stood before her. "I am Aurelia."
The woman turned and smiled at her. It seemed to change her bearing, away from the severe woman that first stopped her. "Cassia."
She had expected Cassia when she opened the door, not this. Not him.
"Aurelia," his voice sounded sweet, hiding the danger that she knew was the man. "I have missed your presence in the market." He reached out towards her and she swatted his hand away.
"You are not welcome," she said, swallowing tightly at the narrowing of his eyes. How had she been fooled by him?
"After my assistance to you?" He stepped forwards, forcing her back.
Her eyes darted to the other room where Janus played, before looking back at him. Varro's words still rang in her ear. She would not allow him to take her again. "Your assistance comes at too high a price. I would ask that you leave."
"And I would refuse." He moved as fast as lightning. His hands grabbed her wrists, forcing them down as he pressed his body into hers.
"No!" She yelled, squirming in his grasp. She had to fight. She had to do something. His lips pressed on hers and tears sprung to her eyes. No. She did not want this.
One of his hands left her wrist, sliding up the slit of her stola. He tried to force one of his legs between hers.
She scratched at his face, trying to gain some kind of purchase against him.
"Fuck!" He swore, before raising the hand that was on her leg and hitting her.
Her vision blackened, her head swam as she felt his hands pulling at the ties of her stola. Then suddenly, his grip released and he fell before her. She collapsed to her knees, clinging to her stola before she looked for the cause.
Cassia stood behind his crumpled body, vase in hand and anger radiating from her. She looked like Diana, come to earth. Aurelia wept at the sight of her.
Cassia moved forward, pushing Titus, who was now moaning, away from Aurelia before kneeling in front of her. She offered her hands to Aurelia, helping her to stand. Aurelia clung to her, thanking the gods for sending her into her path.
"Dry your eyes," Cassia said. She pushed Aurelia away from her slightly. "He is not worthy of them."
Aurelia felt Cassia touch her face and winced as pain sprung from the area he hit her. Cassia's face went blank, before her eyes narrowed and Aurelia heard her inhale sharply through her nose.
"Is this he?" Cassia asked, looking at Titus. "Is he the one who forced himself on you? Causing you such strife?"
Aurelia could only nod. She tried to stop crying, to dry her eyes and breathe before her son found them. Oh, if he had found them! She didn't know what she would have done.
She felt something press into her hand and she looked down to see Cassia holding a knife. It was small, only a dagger, but she looked at her friend in confusion. "Do you expect me to murder him?" Her voice felt all too small, and yet it sounded as if it echoed in the room.
"No," Cassia said. She sounded as certain as always. It never failed to comfort Aurelia. "Do as you will. If you wish it, by your hand, you may make certain that he will never force himself on another."
Aurelia looked at Cassia, at the steadfast assurance that she presented. She wanted that. She wanted to leave her fear behind her and to be certain of her destiny. Aurelia looked down at Titus on the floor and the sudden thought came to mind, what did he deserve? What did this rapist deserve? To wander free? All because her husband was away, facing death for honour. This man came into her home and took that honour from her. She would reclaim it back.
She swallowed nervously. "I would need your help," she said to Cassia.
Cassia nodded. "It is willingly given."
Aurelia knelt down at Titus's feet. "Hold his arms. We will make certain this never happens again."
Aurelia was tired of being secluded in Cassia's home. She could not fault her friend for the protection, but it was wearying. She wished for the freedom to come and go as she pleased, not to fear retribution of a man who had seemingly disappeared. Cassia lay claim to the thought that he was now ashamed, that he was hiding so he would not have to expose the loss of his manhood to the world.
Janus's laughter burst through her thoughts, and Aurelia turned her gaze from the outside to her son. He sat on the floor of the room with Cassia seated in front of him. Janus's attention was focused on Cassia's hands that lay on the floor between them. Janus reached out to hit one of Cassia's hand, only to find it gone before it made it's mark. He laughed again and Aurelia's heart was lifted at the sound of it.
She watched as Cassia grinned at the boy, only to wince and settle her grin into a small smile. Aurelia frowned at the sight of it. Cassia had explained herself. She was a freed woman on the claims that she saved a life. She believed more truth in the fact that it was the wounds she gained in warning the family of the intruder that had her freed. No one wanted to look at her anymore.
Aurelia's heart sunk at the reminder of her own gaze when they had first met. She was wary of the woman, eager to see her gone, but the gods had been kind to set Cassia across her path. She knew that now. She only wished that she could repay the friendship somehow, to lighten the load that the woman carried with her every day. Janus seemingly helped lift her spirits, but Aurelia wished she could do more.
"Cassia," Aurelia called out, catching the attention of the woman. "I wonder, is there not a poultice or salve for those scars of yours? They seem to injure you further as they pull." Cassia stared at her for a moment, as if weighing Aurelia's worth before her. Her concentration was broken as Janus slapped her hand and laughed at the surprised expression on Cassia's face.
Cassia moved forwards, tickling the child mercilessly before leaving him to catch his breath. She gave a small smile at Aurelia. "There is," she said with a shrug. "It matters not, though. It is nothing I cannot endure." Cassia turned back to Janus and Aurelia watched as she widened her eyes and fashioned claws out of her fingers. The boy laughed as she moved to tickle him again.
Aurelia watched them silently, her mind playing over the matter. When she was able, she would go to the market. She would find something for Cassia, to assist with the recovery. While her friend could endure, and Aurelia was certain that Cassia needed no help, Aurelia would see that she no longer had to do it alone.
There was a knock at the door, and Cassia was off of the floor so quickly Aurelia thought she had imagined it. She watched as Cassia opened the door a small amount and spoke quietly to whomever was behind it. Then she turned and faced Aurelia.
"There is a woman here," Cassia said. "She says she has been searching for you, for your husband." Varro was a topic of disagreement between the two, but Aurelia knew that Cassia did not know him as she did. Aurelia nodded, quickly standing as Cassia opened the door.
The woman was not recognizable, but she looked around the room. When her gaze fell on Janus, Aurelia saw Cassia step in front of the woman's view. The woman seemed to tower over Cassia, but she did not falter.
"What news," Aurelia spoke quickly, "of my husband?"
The woman looked at Aurelia. "You are Aurelia, wife of Varro?" she asked.
"I am."
"Your husband thinks you dead," the woman said and Aurelia could not help the gasp that left her lips. "I am told he sent a message to you, only for the messenger to come back with news of an empty home and blood on the floor. I am to bring you to him."
"By who's orders?" Cassia demanded.
The woman glanced at her before turning her attention back at Aurelia. "His brother's, Spartacus."
Aurelia's heart pounded. He thought her dead? What had changed? The last she spoke to him, he called her a whore. "And will he see me?" she asked, her voice quiet.
"I would not be here otherwise," the woman said. "You were not easy to find."
"How did you come by us?" Cassia asked.
"She was seen in your company before," the woman said. "It was not hard to locate one that looks like you."
Aurelia's hand clenched. How dare she say such things? She glanced at Cassia who seemed unperturbed. Aurelia moved, walking over to Janus and closer to Cassia. She kissed the top of her son's head before looking at her friend.
"I need to see him," she said.
Cassia nodded. "I will watch him," she said, motioning to Janus.
"Thank you," Aurelia said and in a sudden impulse, swept Cassia into a hug. The woman stiffened in her arms and Aurelia released her just as quickly. "I will return shortly."
Cassia looked at the woman who had come with the news. "Are you certain," she said softly, "that you can trust her?"
Aurelia smiled. "Varro wrote to me of Spartacus. He is a friend."
Cassia nodded, before looking back at the woman still by the door. "See that she returns safely."
The woman raised her eyebrows but nodded. "Certainly."
Aurelia turned from Cassia, content in the knowledge of her son's safety, and followed the woman out the door. Oh Varro! She could not bear to have him think ill of her any longer.
Aurelia knew that she startled Cassia as she burst through the door, but she could no longer contain herself. She had the share the news. She thought her heart would burst.
"What in Jupiter's name has happened?" Cassia demanded as she appeared in the doorway to the kitchen.
Aurelia grinned and strode forwards to her friend. "He has changed!" she says, and seeing the unconvinced look on her friend's face, she finds herself elaborating. "He spoke that he would care and love the child," at this she touched her belly, "as his own because it comes from me." Aurelia looked at Cassia, and tried to get her to understand. "Do you not see? Soon he shall be freed and all will be as it should. As it was."
"Aurelia..." Cassia stated quietly. "I would see you move towards the future, not the past."
"I know that you do not think well of him, Cassia, but you do not know him as I do." Aurelia smiled softly.
"I know him well enough," Cassia snapped, before heaving a sigh. "Apologies. I only wish for your joy."
"And I you," Aurelia replied. She took Cassia's hands in her own. They pulled away slightly before stopping. "You have been more dear to me than words can grant. I have no doubt that the future holds more than we can imagine. The gods have been merciful, and I pray that they bless you as they have blessed me." Cassia smiled at her.
"You are too kind."
This was not right.
She knew birth, she had given it before but this... Cassia held her up, leading her to the midwife.
"A short while longer," Cassia said, straining to keep her up. "Then we shall greet your new babe."
Pain laced through her stomach and Aurelia was afraid that the wetness she felt between her legs was blood. It was too soon. Please, Aurelia prayed, let the child live.
By the time they reached the midwife, she could barely stand. Cassia moved her to a bed, calling for assistance. Aurelia could only cry out, tears falling as she kept praying.
Let Janus be safe. Let him know his father.
Aurelia felt Cassia hold her hand and sweep the hair off of her brow. She glanced down, trying to breathe through the pain, only to see the midwife between her legs, shaking her head. Aurelia cried harder.
Protect them as I cannot.
Pain wracked Aurelia's frame, and she heard demands to push. She tried. She tried with all her heart unless all strength left her. Finally, Aurelia could hear a baby crying. Her heart soared with relief until she looked up at her friend. Cassia was crying, and the sight of it made the weight of Aurelia's fate settle around her.
"What...what is it?" Aurelia asked.
Cassia looked down at her. "You have a daughter," she said quietly.
Aurelia smiled at the thought. She so was tired, but she could not sleep yet. They needed to be safe. She clung to Cassia, drawing her attention in. "You must make promise to me!" She demanded and watched as surprise shown on Cassia's face. "You will find Varro. You will go to him!"
"Aurelia..." Cassia sighed.
"Promise me! You will take the children and go to him."
Cassia stared at her for a moment, and Aurelia felt her vision swim. "You have my promise," Cassia said.
Aurelia smiled at her. "Then I know all will be well." She looked up to the ceiling, wondering what awaited her next. Her name called her attention and she looked to see Cassia holding the babe.
Cassia handed the child to her, and as Aurelia stared down at her, she spoke softly. "Valeria," Aurelia said. "We shall name her Valeria." She saw Cassia nod before her eyes closed and she felt sleep overtake her.
She did not wake.
[tbc]