Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.
Underwater World or Depth and Taxes
Narrator: It's a brand new day, and it seems like a normal morning in Frostbite Falls. Our heroes, Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose, are just getting out of bed.
Rocky: Oh, boy! Another new day of adventures!
Narrator: But when Rocky looks outside his bedroom, he sees a school of fish swim by the window!
Rocky: Hokey Smoke!
Narrator: Apparently the town of Frostbite Falls was somehow submerged.
Rocky runs into Bullwinkle's room.
Rocky: Bullwinkle, you've gotta check this out!
Bullwinkle slowly wakes up. He's snoring and snorts bubbles out of his snout.
Bullwinkle: Zbzbzbbzb... Wha? Why does my snoring sound weird?
Rocky: We're underwater.
Bullwinkle: Rocky, I appreciate your metaphors, but what is really going on here?
Rocky: Look out the window.
He looks out the window and sees a school of fish swim in formation. They form a message for him.
Bullwinkle: It says, "You are really underwater, you idiot".
The school of fish swims to form another message.
Rocky: Now they're saying, "How can you guys breathe here"?
Bullwinkle: Maybe you're a squirrelfish, and I'm a... uh, is there such thing as a moosefish?
Narrator: No. The squirrelfish exists, but not the moosefish.
Bullwinkle: Oh. I guess I'll have to discover one in my next Mr. Know it All episode-
Narrator: I'd rather you two focus on the main story.
Bullwinkle: Well, this sure is a weird way to start off an exciting adventure. Who would flood Frostbite Falls?
Narrator: That's what I'd like to know. Let's find out, shall we?
Narrator: Meanwhile, in Pottsylvania, a sinister figure lurks in a creepy secret spy base. Who could the sinister figure be? Could he possibly be responsible for all of this haddock, er, havoc? Be sure to find out in our next mysterious episode-
Fearless Leader: When I flood the town, Frostbite Falls vill be kaput! And this will lead to an even larger scheme later on.
Narrator: -Blustering barnacles! Why did you have to interrupt my narration?
Fearless Leader: The story's introductory episode would be far too short. I was helping you by making you narrate even longer than you were paid for. You should thank me.
Narrator: ...Fine. Thank you. Yes, apparently this fishy fiasco is Fearless Leader's latest fiendish plot.
Fearless Leader: Jawohl. Indeed it is.
Narrator: The devious director of this plot-
Fearless Leader: You may call me Herr Director.
Narrator: Fine. "Herr Director". So where is your production staff?
Fearless Leader: You mean Badenov and Fatale? They are sleeping with the fishes.
Narrator: You're a murderer?!
Fearless Leader: Not really. I just said that to bother you. Heheheheheh.
Narrator: All right, then what are Boris and Natasha up to now?
Fearless Leader: Flooding Frostbite Falls. What else?
Narrator: So Rocky and Bullwinkle's aquatic adventure-
Edgar and Chauncey float by on a bench.
Edgar: Well, this is something you don't see every day.
Chauncey: What's that, Edgar?
Narrator: -is about to begin.
Rocky flies out of the water covering his submerged house. He lands on the roof of his house, which is sticking out of the water, to look at his surroundings.
Rocky: Something tells me that Boris and Natasha are responsible for this.
Narrator: Indeed they are. For the dastardly duo...
Boris: Yours truly, the one and only Boris Badenov at your service.
Natasha: And Natasha Fatale, dollink.
Narrator: The dastardly duo is on the roof of a building.
Natasha: We have set up glass walls around the town so it will look like an aquarium.
Boris: Moose and Squirrel will also be unable to get out of here. It's brilliant, right?
Narrator: Okay. If you two are so smart, how exactly will you get out of Frostbite Falls?
Boris: Raskolnikov! I never thought of that...
Fearless Leader: You never think of anything.
Their boss suddenly appears behind them.
Fearless Leader: Ah, I see you two actually managed to carry out my evil plan this time.
Boris: How did you get here so fast?
Fearless Leader: A Pottsylvanian helicopter, of course. What else?
Natasha: It makes sense to me, dollink.
Boris: Thanks, boss. Without the helicopter we'd be stuck in this fishbowl, and-
Fearless Leader: Shut up, Badenov! Knowing our luck on average, if you say that the helicopter might break down.
Narrator: Knowing these crooks, I just know they're going to gloat about their heinous deed.
Boris: Hahahahahaha! Moose and Squirrel are stuck like a couple of sitting ducks!
Narrator: I'd say you are a bunch of sitting ducks, since you're all sitting on the roof of a building.
Natasha: Would this count as loitering?
Fearless Leader: We never follow the laws anyway. We're the villains, remember?
Boris: Yeah. I can litter as much as I want to.
Fearless Leader: Loitering isn't the same as littering, you nitwit.
Boris: Really? English can be a strange language sometimes...
Narrator: Soon they get back on topic.
Natasha: We were lead off topic thanks to you.
Narrator: Fine. Call me a hypocrite if you want.
Fearless Leader: This is all going according to my plan.
Narrator: Which is?
Fearless Leader: You'll have to find out later on.
Narrator: Well, at least we can find out what Boris and Natasha are up to, right?
Boris: We're going to scam some gullible townsfolk! Moose and Squirrel aren't the only idiots in this one Moose town. I'm going to find Captain Peachfuzz.
Narrator: Speaking of Captain Peachfuzz, he might actually be somewhat helpful this time around.
Bullwinkle: Because of his navigational intellect?
Narrator: No. Because he has a boat.
Bullwinkle: Speaking of boats, all of these water sounds are making me kind of sleepy. I'm going back to bed 'till all of this stuff gets cleared up.
Narrator: When the moose goes back into his room, he meets an unexpected visitor.
Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky! We have a visitor.
Rocky: Is it Boris?
Bullwinkle: No. It's a big, weird, and colourful thing with strings sticking out of its head.
Rocky: Don't you mean tentacles?
Bullwinkle: I guess our new friend is confused. Uh, Mister squishy thing, this isn't a campsite. This is my house!
Rocky: I wouldn't go near the sea creature, Bullwinkle. That's a sea anemone, and this one looks huge!
Bullwinkle: Any anemone is a friend of mine.
Narrator: Their "friendly new visitor's" tentacles can really smart.
Bullwinkle: This guy doesn't seem so smart to me. He's not responding at all.
Narrator: What's really puzzling is that sea anemones can barely move.
Rocky: Are they friendly?
Narrator: Usually, but they can sting and absorb things when they get hungry.
Rocky: What?! Hokey Smoke!
Narrator: Will the hapless moose fall prey to the giant sea creature? Did Boris and Natasha plant it here to do away with our heroes? And even if they're not responsible for this, what more havoc could be caused by their larger plan? To find out, stay tuned for our next episode "Boris Eels and Deals" or "Sleeping with the Anemone".