AN:- This is a multi chapter fic in both Jasper and Edward's POV. It is slash so if you don't like it then don't read it, if your under the age of 18 please click the red X as this will contant scene of a sexual nature.

Hope you enjoy and see you at the bottom!

Chapter One!

JPOV

My eyes stayed fixed on him as I watched him walk across the ranch,taking one of the horses back to the stables. His dark blue jeans hung low on his hips, slightly too baggie for him, covering up his gorgeous ass that I completely loved to worship. The low sun hit his bare chest catching the two nipple piercings that I loved to play with, pull them between my teeth and hear him moan my name while he withered underneath me. My eyes trailed slowly down his lightly tanned chest and over his stomach until they laid upon one of my most favourite things on his body. The tiny little bronze hairs that ran from his belly and disappeared under the waistband of his jeans. I loved to trail wet kisses down his happy trail until I reached my prize; I could trail my finger tips ever so lightly up and down those hairs for hours on end while my head rested on his chest hearing his heart beating in my ear.

His messy array of bronze hair shinned in the late afternoon soon, highlighting the wonderful coppery and red tones in it. It was always so soft; it always begged to have my fingers running through it, tugging on it with our lips locked together as I rode him. I loved every inch of that man, my beautiful bronzed haired boy who had completely captured my heart as well as my world. He was my world, everything I did, every breath I took, every smile I made was solely for him. I couldn't describe the love I felt for him, how his touch set my body on fire and my heart racing, his sweet words of whispering love in my ear made my heart swell and almost explode inside my chest. In my eyes he was the most breathtaking, the most stunning person I had ever laid my eyes upon, and he was mine......but I wanted more.

In the five years we have been together, we had seen friends and fellow family members run off and get married; all we had managed to achieve was us living together in a different house on the ranch, and for a while I was content with that. For a long time I was happy he was mine, happy that I got to see his emerald green eyes shining with love in them when he looked at me, but now I wanted more than just what we had. I wanted to marry him, wanted him to be my husband and for the last few days I had been trying to work up the courage to finally ask him. I almost.....came very fucking close to asking him this morning when we made love, but how corny would that have been? Not to mention it could have killed the mood between us.

See I was sure, one hundred percent, one thousand percent, one million percent sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life, until I took my final breath on this earth that I wanted him and him alone. He was my soul mate, the fucking other half of me, he made me who I was. For Edward? I didn't know. I wanted him to feel what I feel towards him, for him to want me for the rest of his life, but the truth was I didn't know. Getting married was something we had never really sat and spoke about it, yeah odd passing comments here and there but nothing that made me think if I asked him he would say yes. That thought alone had stopped me from those beautiful heart felt words leaving my lips and entering his ears. What if he said no?

My eyes zoned fully in on him as he passed my main eye line, his tall body calling me, calling to the primal instinct inside of me to take him right now and ravish him, completely claim him as mine. A shiver of delight rippled through my body as my mind raced, filling with the most intimate thoughts I had of the two of us together; I bit my lips to stop a moan that wanted to escape my lips as my cock hardened in my jeans.

He hadn't seen me staring at him yet, taking in his beauty, drinking him in as though I need it like I need air or blood running through my veins. The hours I could spend staring at him, letting my eyes learn and relearn every single inch of his body, from the tiny little freckles that are dotted on his shoulders to the mole that sits just slightly off his right hip bone. A light smile crept up my lover's full red lips and I knew I had been caught, my gaze on him had finally been felt and I mentally counted down the seconds until my ears would fill with the most beautiful sound in my world, his voice.

"Enjoying the view?" His voice called to me, the musical tones of his voice being carried in the wind towards me. The simple way he spoke those words made my heart expand and melt all at the same time. I would never bore of hearing it, knowing he was comfortable in his own skin at long last.

"You know I am, babe." He stilled his movements and turned his head to look at me. His thin long fingers ran down the horse's neck as his eyes squinted in the low sun light, a smirk on his full lips, before the very tips of his white teeth bit and held his plump bottom lip.

Fuck! Did he have any fucking idea what is little gestures did to me? My jeans were now becoming almost painfully tight as my cock throbbed wanting to escape its tight confinements and bury itself deep in his hot tightness. I wanted to feel wet lips on my body so fucking bad right now, the fire burned deeply inside of me, urging me, pushing me to have him as mine, fully as mine. After five years together the desire for him hadn't shifted or died down as I feared it would, instead the sands of time had only intensified my love for him, changing me completely that I knew I would never love anyone else, only him, forever.

The very first time we kissed I knew he would hold my heart, and it would only ever be his. Only beat for him and him alone. The voice in he back of my mind pushed me, urged me to ask him, but if he rejected me it would crush me like a giant wrecking ball. I tried to tell myself that he wouldn't, that he wanted it as much as I did, but still the thought lingered around my head that he would say no.

I wanted it to be romantic when I asked him, to sweep him off his feet, but everything I thought of seemed either corny as fuck or stupid. Edward was the romantic one, he was the one that could impress me without even trying, from a simple loving note with a rose laid across it, to covering our home in candles while we made love by the fireplace, he could think of the most romantic setting in minutes, where as I, who had been thinking asking him to marry for the last few months couldn't come up with one single thing. How would I ever get him to say yes if I couldn't get the setting right?

"What?" Edward's voice called to me again and I realised that I had been staring again. He frowned at me slightly before beginning his walk back to the stables with the horse. "Your acting weird Jasper." I chuckled not sure what else to say or do, he shook his head at me and continued his path back to the stables.

"Is your ass stuck to that porch?" I laid back on my elbows, kicking my legs out and smirking at Aro as he walked past.

"It is." I smirked out. "Got a problem with that?" Aro flipped me off and continued on his path.

I should have been helping out, it wasn't as though I had nothing to do around the ranch it was just that I couldn't focus on anything other then trying to work the fucking balls up to ask him to marry me. None of his family knew what I was up to, none of mine knew, I had told no one so I couldn't ask anyone for there advice. I had options but they all looked a little.....well low. They either couldn't shut up and keep things to themselves or they would have a field day ribbing me for not having found the balls to hurry the fuck up and ask him. I, ladies and Gentlemen was on my own.

The porch my ass was currently stuck to had been the very same porch that we both found out the other was gay. The memory of it made me smile and feel happy but also it marked the change of something in Edward that will forever haunt him.

Flashback

"He's on the porch." Aro called as I walked across the ranch. I already knew where he was before Aro had told me, it was the same place he sat waiting for me whenever he knew I was coming round.

We had been best friends for years, since my family moved here when I was 8 from Texas. Somehow our families had become great friends and the kids got pushed together and told to 'play' while the grown ups had fun. I don't know and I never asked how they actually managed to become such great friends with each other, Edward, his bother Emmett, and sister Alice were all adopted at different ages to the Cullen's. Carlisle and Aro Cullen had bumped into my folks just days after we arrived here and somehow they invited my family to BBQ and hit it off. I have been pretty grossed out over the years after catching bits and pieces of their drunken talks. Its not that I hated gays or anything it was more hearing my mum and dad exchange sexual positions and stories with my best friends dads....let me say that again DADS!

My straight laced, almost church going, Sunday morning cookie barker mother was talking about lube with and anal sex with two married gay men, no child should ever have to hear that sort of talk from there parents when there drunk. Okay they had no idea that I was roaming around and just so happened to stop by and listen, but I certainly did not want that mental picture in my mind.

"Thanks Aro." I called out over my shoulder seeing Edward sitting on the porch. "You, sunshine, have some explaining to do." Edward outwardly cringed, screwing up his face and wrapping his arms around his knees. Yes you little fucker I know all about it. He couldn't actually think I wouldn't have heard about his bathroom antics at school. The news had spread around faster then a Hooker going for free with a load of overly charged teenage boys.

Dropping my ass down I cocked an eyebrow, smirking at him. "I am your best friend, and as your best friend I am demanding you tell me why I didn't know about you and Jessica and why the fuck are you screwing that dirty ass bitch." He shook his head. Wow was she really that bad? Had it fucking scared him for life? Seeing the dirty ass little bitches maybe me thankful that I was gay.

"I didn't....she thought......god Jazz, I never thought she would let me go. If Eric hadn't of walked in then I don't even want to think about what could have happened." He shivered but given the face on him which was now slightly green it wasn't a shiver of delight.

"So your not banging Jessica? Dude I am happy and disappointed that your not." He shot me an evil look which I laughed off. "Come on E girl talk with me." Don't cringe, don't cringe. I told myself, I hadn't fully come out yet, my parents knew so did my big sister but friends at school? Nah. Edward? Nope. Out of everyone I knew Edward should be the most accepting about my sexuality. With him having two dads, he was hardy against gays. So with all this shit in mind why was my best friend in the dark?

Because I hadn't been able to suck the it up and grow a fucking pair of balls. So I continued of being my act of being interested in girls when pussy did nothing for me.

"Girls?" He looked panicked suddenly. "Jasper....Um I don't really like....um girls?" My mouth hung open. Edward - gay? Well fuck me running, never would have guessed that shit.

He now looked more freaked out then he did a second ago, wanting to ease his sudden panic I laughed, might not have been my smartest plan ever. "Your laughing at me? I thought you didn't care about that?" He looked angry, his eyes turning into a dark bottomless green shade as his rage raced through him.

"Edward....chill out" I got out between my giggles. I had suddenly stopped laughing over him being gay and me not guessing to us both being twats over us being gay, of course Edward still didn't know about me.

"Fuck off Whitlock, I thought you were my friend, my fucking best friend and your laughing at me, screw you." He got to his feet, about to leave me sitting here. I couldn't let him think I suddenly hated him or something, so I grabbed his arm.

"Cullen sit, Your not the only who doesn't like girls." All emotion suddenly drained from his face.

"Your....gay?....since when?" His voice came out full of shock, the colour slowly returning to his lightly tanned skin as he sat back down. "How long?" I shrugged.

"A while, can't really tell you when I pinpointed it, I think I've always known. You?" It was the straightest answer I could give him.

"Not long, took me some time to work it all out, you think it would happen faster having to dads." He smiled suddenly relaxing again around me. "Your parents know?"

"Yeah, they were cool took it pretty well, I think them being so close yours helped me out a little you know?" He nodded snickering slightly. "You know at least you didn't have to worry about how they would take it like I did, you could say your dads rubbed off on you." I joked, playfully punching me on my arm he laughed along with me....

A soft smile hit my lips remembering that night on this very porch, some 18 months later after what seemed like hell we shared our first mind blowing, spine tingling kiss. And now five years later I was crazy in love with him, almost foolishly in love and trying to suck it up and grow a pair of balls and ask him to marry me. It was almost like how I was seven years ago trying to find the right word the right time and the fucking balls to be able to speak, tell and ask, my best friend, my fucking lover, my world a simple question that would, hopefully change our lives in a good way.

Finally moving my lazy, but firm ass off the porch I headed towards the stable. Edward hadn't come back out yet, I may have been off in the land of our past but my beautiful bronzed haired boy would never be able to slip past my eyes without me registering him. Wondering towards the stables, I could hear two voices talking in hushed tones. The closer I got, the better I heard what they were talking about. My smile fell as I heard Emmett repeatedly ask Edward the same question over and over again. Stopping outside the stables I stayed still, listing in, hearing my heart beat loudly in my ears.

"Edward...come on are you sure?" Emmett sounded so concerned over his bother. "You and Jazz....I mean your solid."

"It's over, Emmett." He sounded so defeated. Its over? He wanted to end it with me..... My world fucking started to collapse, all I could think about was his words.

My heart contracted painfully in my chest, while my stomach twisted and knotted. I felt sick; I could feel it beginning to rise up from my stomach and coming to the back of my throat. Pain gripped me tightly, choking the life out of me, wanting me to walk away and not listen to any more, to just enjoy the last few minutes or hours I had left with the man who was my life but I couldn't go; I couldn't turn around and leave I had to listen to his reason's for this maybe the only time I actually hear the real reason.

"Edward....Man don't do this unless your hundred percent sure that this is what you want." I waited to her his response, everything inside of me hoped and preyed that he would change his mind and stay with me.

"Em.....I love him, but I know him." He suddenly stopped talking and I wondered if he knew I was outside. "He's been acting so strange, not just today but for weeks, like sometimes he's not really with me at all, just sitting there nodding his head even after I have stopped talking. I can feel it Emmett, I know he is going to break up with me." I breathed, finally letting out a breath I had been holding. My beautiful bronzed haired boy could be so fucking clueless at times.

How could he possibly think that I was going to break up with him? Had he not seen the ways I looked at him from a afar? How my eyes would drink him in over and over again, how he was my favourite past time, whether we were laughing and joking with each other, lying together on the sofa talking about nothing at all but everything all at the same time? Could he just not feel my love for him whether our bodies were locked, tangled together as we moved in slow rhythmic way with passion and desire coursing through our veins, or the simple kisses and touches we would exchange during the day. Did he not see and feel what I felt?

"Maybe he's just tired or has shit on his mind. Don't do anything, Edward, that can and will fuck up your relationship." Relaxing slightly, I moved away from the stables and headed towards out house on the ranch feeling slightly better.

FUCK!

My odd behaviour had caused him to think I didn't want him. I had to hurry up and fix this, hurry and ask him before he got completely convinced that I didn't want him any more, which hearing him talking with Emmett he was already pretty convinced that it was the case. I was now worried that his fear that I was about to dump him was going to effect him in a dangerous way. I shuddered at the thought of it trying to push the thoughts away of how he was six years ago. Its been a long time Jazz, just over five years and he hasn't fallen back, I told myself, even now I feared for him, worried and watched everything he did seeing if there was the even the smallest sign of a relapse.

I wanted to convince myself that Edward wasn't the same man he was all those years ago, that he had changed, grown and become comfortable in his own skin and that him ever going back there again wasn't going to happen. But still I watched, still I worried over every tiny ounce of stress he had, every rough patch he went through in life would trigger he to do it all again. It hurt to see him back them and he was only my best friend back then. Now he was more, a lot more, he was my everything, the air that fills my lungs, the blood that runs through my veins, my soul fucking reason to be alive on this earth. If he ever went back there again I don't know how I would get through it.

Changing quickly in our bedroom I heard Edward come in through the front door. I smiled as the warm happy feelings rippled around my body, my heart rate picked up as I heard him walk up the stairs. As I turned to face the door to our room, my beautiful bronzed haired fucking god walked in. His normally sparkling green eyes were dull and drawn, swimming rich in his emotions that he couldn't hide from me. His pain there screaming at me, thinking that I was about to end our relationship, I wanted to remove the pain from his eyes so badly.

Ask him now?

The thought raced through my mind as I moved closer towards him, bringing my arm around his waist and pulling him closer to me. I nuzzled into his neck breathing in large deep lung fulls of his scent, slightly sweaty laced with a smell of hay with just a dash of soap still lingering from this morning. My favourite smell in the whole wide world. Placing kisses up his neck, making sure to concentrate on his sweet spots, Edward began to moan softly. My name fell from his lips in a whispering plea as sucked and nibbled his earlobe.

"Jazz....please....don't." I ignored his plea for me to stop, his body was responding to me just the way I liked. His cock growing and hardening against my rock hard cock, running my hands down his back and over his ass, my fingers digging into his soft flesh squeezing it tightly in my grasp as I pulled him closer to me, grounding my cock hard against his.

My lips moved slowly across his jaw, inching my way toward his soft plump lips that I loved to see wrapped around my cock. "I fucking love you." I whispered out before my lips touched his. No sooner did I have his lips on mine, he was pushing me away.

"I said stop!" Brushing past me he walked to the other side of the bed room. He thinks I'm dumping him...oh my poor beautiful boy. "I don't want you touching me right now Jasper." He mumbled to me, not so much as even looking in my direction as he spoke to me.

I sighed and tucked my golden curls behind my ears. "Edward are you alright?" Taking a small step towards him the floorboards creaked. For fuck sake, fucking floorboards! He put his hand out tell me to stop. "Talk to me babe." I saw him actually cringe as I called him babe. Suck it fucking up and ask him, stop making him think your about to break up with him! Even though I could see the hurt he was feeling because of what he thought I could get the words to come. My mouth opened and closed but the words hit the back of my throat and stopped there. sticking right there and not moving to where I wanted them to be.

"I'm fine, just need to change before dinner." A cold flat tone came from him. Sighing I turned on my heel and headed downstairs to wait for him.

Placing myself on the edge of the chair arm I looked at the photo's that lined around the place, so many pictures of us together at different stages of our lives, both together and apart. Marking some of the most important and most memorable events that have taken place in our relationship, memories that I will always treasure and keep safely locked away with me forever. I cherish every single kiss, touch, and words of love that I am forever grateful to have received from him. My mind flooded with the first time he asked me to move on to the ranch and live in the house just me and him, the first time we went on a date...the first time we made love.

Hearing him walk down the stairs he didn't even so much as look at me as he came past where I was sitting towards the front door. "Edward?" I called after him as his hand touched the door handle. He stopped and looked at me, the pain he was suffering from what he thought was coming written so clearly in his eyes. His eyes told me everything. When he told me lies, his eyes gave him away. When he told me he loved me, his eyes spoke the truth. When he was suffering, his eyes always alerted me before he even spoke to me. Seeing them swimming with so pain I tried again to ask him.

"What? Where gonna be late." A sharp turn of the handle and the door was open and he was through it, not even bothering to wait for me like normal.

Following him across the ranch I kept my pace slow so I could think and stare at his ass. Leaving the door open for me, he disappeared out of my sight and into the main house. Hearing all our family together in one place, I loved it and loathed it. It was nice and live so close to his dads, to have his family just there on the doorstep if we needed them, but I hated that nothing, and I mean nothing could stay private between just me and him. If we fell out, his family would either hear us arguing or notice the distance the next day and try to fix it for us. That really fucked me off, we had heard and seen Carlisle and Aro go rounds with one another many times but we never once got involved and tried to get them talking, we left them two it and let them sort there own problems out. But when it came to us?..........The 'kids' needed that guided fucking hand.

"What's the matter with your face?" My mothers voice hit the moment I walked in. Great Ma, just fucking great, I thought as I noticed that I was now suddenly everyone's centre of attention.

Edward, being the stubborn bastard that he is hadn't done us any fucking favours at all by walking in on his own. "I'm fine, just tired that's all." I felt it before I saw it. Edward's saddened green eyes staring at me. Emmett's arm soon placed on his brothers shoulder while he whispered something in his ear, he nodded his head and dropped his eyes off me. "Is dinner almost ready?" My mother frowned at me."What?" I mouthed to her which only resorted in a head shake from her as though as I was child being reprimanded.

Doing the rounds, I chatted with both our families always keeping a watchful eye on Edward, how his mood was, and what could possibly be going on up in his head.

Every Sunday was the same, the families got together. One weekend we would all be here. The following we would be at mine. It was set in stone. There was no getting around it or away from it even if I wanted to, but sometimes I just wish our families weren't so close. My mother being my mother had taken lead role of making sure that the food was ready on time for everyone, so hearing her shout was like gun going off signalling the start of a race, of course only Emmett thought it was a race to get to the table before anyone else. Walking in, I sat down were I normally would sit and waited for Edward to sit next to me.

Shocking the fucking life out of me, he sat next to Emmett across from me. My mouth hit the table. In all the time we had been together he had never, not even once, even when we had been at all out war with each other has he sat across from me. Rose sat down besides me while I continued to stare at him, asking him silently why he was over there and not with me. He avoided my eyes.

"What's going on?" Rose whispered as dinner was served. I shrugged my shoulders watching as he smirked and laughed with Emmett over something that was just between the two of them. "There must be something, Jazz, he just wouldn't sit away from you like that." Again I shrugged as my darling sister pressed for more information then I was willing to give.

The eyes of our family continued to drifted between Edward and me, exchanging knowing looks with one another. I noticed Edward gave them what they were looking for; he met there gaze time and time again while we sat and ate dinner which I was more pushing around my plate then eating. My eyes stayed fixed on Edward. "Marry me." It was hardly above a noticeable sound but it was loud enough that everyone heard.

The room feel deathly silent. Everything stopped and all eyes suddenly fell on me, including Edwards shocked, confused, and questionable ones. Closing my eyes for a second I wiped out the thought that this wasn't how I wanted to do it, that this wasn't romantic in anyway shape or form before reopening them and taking a deep breath, holding his eyes with my own.

"Marry me, Edward."

Reviewers get a tease for chapter 2...you know what to do.

RS