Summary- (Sequel to 'Attack of the Wild Turkeys') An army of squirrels attack the Fellowship...but the squirrels have Rabies. The World as we know it...is officially over!!!
WARNING-Do not provoke squirrels...especially those with rabies. Instead, run them over in your shiny new convertible (three times if you want to be sure) and then dance victoriously on the hood of the car, scratching the paint so much that your Father will kill you and send you off to boarding school, over the fact that the annoying little creatures are...in fact...Road Kill. Then...find another innocent little creature, or another squirrel, and repeat the process.
On another note...seeing as you've read the prequel to this fic...you are know considered by the Government (Or at least, by me) professionals...so you may NOW re-enact this fic however many ways you want to. If you do get hurt...you cannot press charges against me seeing as I did NOT tell you to wonder aimlessly through the parks provoking Rabid Squirrels (Or any normal squirrel and squirting them with whipped cream to make it look like they have Rabies) so you could re-enact this fic. If you haven't gotten the picture from this warning...let me say it again. YOU WILL GET HURT SO STAY INDOORS AND/OR AWAY FROM WILD ANIMALS!!! Thank you.
Rabid Squirrels provided By...
Well, actually, we just wondered aimless through the parks provoking Rabid squirrels and any normal squirrel and squirted them with whipped cream to make it seem like they have rabies. (The exact thing I told you not to do in the last paragraph) As a result of this...we lost 5 brave men to the squirrels wrath and another 10 were put in a mental constitution....against their will. (Thus showing us the power of Whipped Cream...it has always been against us) Parks have no security whatsoever...and I seriously doubt that they shall object to you if you provoke the squirrels.
Well...I think I've covered everything.
===========
It was a very peaceful day in Rivendell. Aragorn was out hunting. He had so far resulted in chasing a large deer out into the middle of a clearing and was preparing to shoot. He would have hit it too...if a pesky little rodent hadn't decided to choose that opportune moment to run up his pants leg.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Aragorn's scream echoed throughout the entire wood...and all the way into Rivendell where it reached the ears of two identical Elves.
When Elladan and Elrohir finally reached the clearing, Aragorn was bouncing up and down shaking his leg.
"GET IT OUT...GET IT OUT!"
"Get what out?" asked Elrohir.
Elladan shrugged and looked at Aragorn.
"THERE'S A SQUIRREL IN MY PANTS!"
Elladan and Elrohir burst out laughing. Aragorn frowned.
"It's not funny...now GET THE DAMN THING OUTTA MY PANTS!"
Elrohir looked at Elladan.
"Oh no...I am NOT sticking my hand down there."
"You have to...I did it last time."
"Rock, Paper, Scissors...best two outta three."
"Deal."
And the Twins started to play Rock, Paper, Scissors. That is...until Legolas decided to grace them with his presence.
"Hey guys...what's up?"
Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other and grinned mischievously.
"Oh Legolas, my here, would you."
The two of them grabbed Legolas' arms and dragged him over to the still jiggling Aragorn.
"Reach down there and pull out the small, moving furry thing." (It is NOT what it sounds like...I swear. IT'S A BLOODY SQUIRREL, DAMMIT)
Legolas looked horrified.
"Are you crazy...it's Elladan's turn. I've already done it."
"Will you three stop arguing and GET THIS BLOOMING SQUIRREL OUT!"
Well, the squirrel soon became bored from running around in there and simply jumped out, scratched it's little nose (In a very Cute way I might add) and went on it's way. Everybody just stared at it...then at Aragorn.
"What?"
Legolas raised an eyebrow and Elladan and Elrohir were both staring at him as if he had grown an extra head.
"Why was there a squirrel up your pants?" asked Legolas. "Did the twins prank you again?"
Elladan and Elrohir both put on mock looks of hurt.
"We're shocked Legolas...you of all people, would accuse us of doing such a horrific thing?!?" Elrohir even pretended to cry for more affect.
Legolas shook his head in amusement.
"You pitiful elves."
"Well we didn't do anything...yet."
Silently, they all went back to Rivendell...to question Aragorn about his mysterious mishap in the forest.
===========
Well...there it is. I hope it's alright for the first chapter. And once again...for those who didn't understand me the first time...IT WAS A FRICKEN SQUIRREL...AND NOTHING ELSE...OK!!!
Anyway...you all know the drill. R&R!!!
WARNING-Do not provoke squirrels...especially those with rabies. Instead, run them over in your shiny new convertible (three times if you want to be sure) and then dance victoriously on the hood of the car, scratching the paint so much that your Father will kill you and send you off to boarding school, over the fact that the annoying little creatures are...in fact...Road Kill. Then...find another innocent little creature, or another squirrel, and repeat the process.
On another note...seeing as you've read the prequel to this fic...you are know considered by the Government (Or at least, by me) professionals...so you may NOW re-enact this fic however many ways you want to. If you do get hurt...you cannot press charges against me seeing as I did NOT tell you to wonder aimlessly through the parks provoking Rabid Squirrels (Or any normal squirrel and squirting them with whipped cream to make it look like they have Rabies) so you could re-enact this fic. If you haven't gotten the picture from this warning...let me say it again. YOU WILL GET HURT SO STAY INDOORS AND/OR AWAY FROM WILD ANIMALS!!! Thank you.
Rabid Squirrels provided By...
Well, actually, we just wondered aimless through the parks provoking Rabid squirrels and any normal squirrel and squirted them with whipped cream to make it seem like they have rabies. (The exact thing I told you not to do in the last paragraph) As a result of this...we lost 5 brave men to the squirrels wrath and another 10 were put in a mental constitution....against their will. (Thus showing us the power of Whipped Cream...it has always been against us) Parks have no security whatsoever...and I seriously doubt that they shall object to you if you provoke the squirrels.
Well...I think I've covered everything.
===========
It was a very peaceful day in Rivendell. Aragorn was out hunting. He had so far resulted in chasing a large deer out into the middle of a clearing and was preparing to shoot. He would have hit it too...if a pesky little rodent hadn't decided to choose that opportune moment to run up his pants leg.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Aragorn's scream echoed throughout the entire wood...and all the way into Rivendell where it reached the ears of two identical Elves.
When Elladan and Elrohir finally reached the clearing, Aragorn was bouncing up and down shaking his leg.
"GET IT OUT...GET IT OUT!"
"Get what out?" asked Elrohir.
Elladan shrugged and looked at Aragorn.
"THERE'S A SQUIRREL IN MY PANTS!"
Elladan and Elrohir burst out laughing. Aragorn frowned.
"It's not funny...now GET THE DAMN THING OUTTA MY PANTS!"
Elrohir looked at Elladan.
"Oh no...I am NOT sticking my hand down there."
"You have to...I did it last time."
"Rock, Paper, Scissors...best two outta three."
"Deal."
And the Twins started to play Rock, Paper, Scissors. That is...until Legolas decided to grace them with his presence.
"Hey guys...what's up?"
Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other and grinned mischievously.
"Oh Legolas, my here, would you."
The two of them grabbed Legolas' arms and dragged him over to the still jiggling Aragorn.
"Reach down there and pull out the small, moving furry thing." (It is NOT what it sounds like...I swear. IT'S A BLOODY SQUIRREL, DAMMIT)
Legolas looked horrified.
"Are you crazy...it's Elladan's turn. I've already done it."
"Will you three stop arguing and GET THIS BLOOMING SQUIRREL OUT!"
Well, the squirrel soon became bored from running around in there and simply jumped out, scratched it's little nose (In a very Cute way I might add) and went on it's way. Everybody just stared at it...then at Aragorn.
"What?"
Legolas raised an eyebrow and Elladan and Elrohir were both staring at him as if he had grown an extra head.
"Why was there a squirrel up your pants?" asked Legolas. "Did the twins prank you again?"
Elladan and Elrohir both put on mock looks of hurt.
"We're shocked Legolas...you of all people, would accuse us of doing such a horrific thing?!?" Elrohir even pretended to cry for more affect.
Legolas shook his head in amusement.
"You pitiful elves."
"Well we didn't do anything...yet."
Silently, they all went back to Rivendell...to question Aragorn about his mysterious mishap in the forest.
===========
Well...there it is. I hope it's alright for the first chapter. And once again...for those who didn't understand me the first time...IT WAS A FRICKEN SQUIRREL...AND NOTHING ELSE...OK!!!
Anyway...you all know the drill. R&R!!!