A/N: Hello and welcome everyone. I'm Giselle, love the Ninja Turtles and YOU. Especially you. The 2014 movie sucked and that's where this wonderful story begins!

"Guys what happen to us? We used to be all good llooking and now we're kinda ugly." Michelangelo was looking in his five star rating mirror that immediately cracked due to his ugly do-over. Michal Bay, who was kinda like a god because he made their movie and forced them to take on ugly mutations in order for them to look more fitting in his orby like eyes, he had given them nostrils and really weird cloths to wear on the belt.

Donatello was the worse tho he had like these glasses over top of his bandana and looked like a anorexic big foot with no fur that'd undergone a mutation to make his skin green. No one wanted to be near him, not even Splitner.

Donatello went to suggest a solution but everyone moved away. Raphael had sunglasses and he had a broked shell (hahaha). But he still kinda a bad ass but with ugly nostrils and on steroids.

Leonardo was wearing some weerd bra like thing that was like armor but his shell is bulletproof? wtf? They even say so in the movie it doesnt make sense. And Michelangelo thankfully was the best most normal because just thank god.

Splinter was wearing a paper baggie over his face becuse Michael B had stole all his facial fur and gave him a ugly chinese man look. "Poor Master SPlinter, they defintely shit all over his design." Raphael wiped a tear away feeling so god awful bad for Splinter.

"Look guys, we gotta do something about this mess." Leonardo was the leader "So lets pick up Megan and head to Cali where Michal Bay lives and make a change before all the kids love us."

"Ya we're just too rich to risk our lives to a bunch of dumb angsty teens." Donny agreed, they rock paper scissored it and then climbed into their hippie van and drove out of the sewers to pick up April Fox.

They were teenagers and coulcnt drive very good but it was night time and only villains are out oat night so they were doing a world of good to the town.

-turtleturtleturtle-

April had just got home from a date with Vern and was about to call Woopie Gollburger to get her job at the daily planet back when she heard a knock at her door door. THe other girl that was in the movie had gotted freaked out and move as soon as asap bc no offence but April was acting a little weird. So April had no choice but to open the door and the turtles were at the other side. "Hi my pettie pets" She was so happy to be the daughter of the guy who mutated some turtles otherwise she wouldnt have any friends at all lol.

"April, we want yo to drive us to California." Donatello pushed up his glasses "Because we are mutants but we are not this fugly"

"You guys destroyedd Verns car!" April wanted to go but she was the female of the group and therefore had to act on menstrational impulses and pretend to be a bitch because that's the typical female of a movie. "But I will go anyways because if you guys don't have a girl who will you save. But Vern shoulda go too. It will make up for what yall did to his car, OK?"

"Cowabunga!" They were all back in the van buckling up while APril pulled out her gps which is a item that shows where ppl and other things live (like squirrels.)

"Guys can I maka suggestiono?" Michelnagelo asked "Yes they all replied.

"Well remember when we were all diving together before and the car went off the road bc some a-hole didnt know how to drive?" Mikey asked and everyone suddenly remembered because it had resulted in a 30 min scene with them going down the side of a snowy mountain that appeared to be 20ft long before the horror begun.

"F*** I dont want to do that again " Raph said "My shell was broked and Leo slept the whole tiem DOnny and Mikey did all the work and shit I s till had to work."

Everyone agreed that Donny should drive since humans cant drive for crap and took off to Verns house.

-turtleturtleturtle-

The group arrived at Verns house and knocked it got mysterues when he did not answer bc it was like 2AM and everyone should be home. So they broke in

"Guys aka Turtles he isnt here" April had looked everywhere even inside of the walls, she was so loyaal to him "But there is this note left on his fridge"

Donny took the note and red it out loud "It says... feels like Im under rocks and then I cant reach tha ceiling fan someone get me some water I'm beaving all the air"

"SONS I think we need to talk" he looke at April "No women tho" they all for ma football circle and Leo was like "Wat"

"He's buried underground somewheres how the f are we suppose to find him if he's buried there's just too much ground!" Splinter was frantic but Leoo was the leader and knew. "He's got to be in Cali with Eric and the Shredded and Michal Bay..."

"We have to save him before Michael mutates him too!" Raph was heroic even with his fag sunglasses.

"APRIL HES IN CALIFORNIA" Donny yell "we have to go now" Even tho they werent 100% sure.

Was Vern in Texas? Find out next time! In chapter2!