Impertinent Little Brat (IMP)
10/2011 - I'm just cleaning up the story a bit, there are no new chapters or such
Chapter 1: No way in Hell: the Sixth division
Warning: Possible future shounen-ai
Characters: Byakuya, Renji, Rukia; along with most other characters that I felt like including
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing.
It was the morning light that roused Renji from his dreams; the gentle but cruel rays finding their way in through the window and onto his face. And so it was with an annoyed grunt that he rolled over in his bed, and hid his eyes from the sun. The brief but vain hope that it was his day off fluttered through his brain. But he knew very well that it wasn't and therefore he had to go to work. Sighing Renji once more forced his eyelids to open and he fumbled for his alarm clock. It was a noisy little black contraption that Rukia had given him a few months back after one of her missions into the world of the living. Noisy and effective though it may be he had soon begun to loath the damned thing; but hated though it was it had quickly become an essential tactic for survival. It kept him from arriving late to the office and thus saved him from getting himself skewered by Senbonzakura.
That was as far as his thought process managed to take him before he bolted upright in bed, grasping the loathed alarm clock in his shaking hands while he stared at it with murky eyes. Blinking like an owl he tried to convince himself that he had to be misreading the clock somehow. That it was lying. That somehow the world had turned on its axle and thrown them all into some yet unknown hell-dimension.
But of course it hadn't. No such luck.
"Oh…Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…." He chanted, while he scrambled out of the ruffled bed. For a moment he stood there, unable to decide what action to do first when there was so many to do in the space of mere seconds. Then he threw himself at the bedside table and snatched up the comb before bolting into the bathroom, all the while chanting the song of one soon to be damned into washing dishes for an eternity.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck…"
The chant continued as he climbed into the shower, and while he stood there he decided to save time by multitasking. He tore the toothbrush from the shelf, shoved it in his mouth and started to brush, at the same time letting his bladder loose. No one would know about him peeing in the shower after all, and he didn't have time to take it slow now. When in need multitasking is your friend.
Within minutes he was out the door; his uniform thrown on haphazardly while he was still struggling to tie his belt while he ran. He hoped his old neighbour wouldn't peek out, lest he'd flash the poor unsuspecting granny and possibly causing her inevitable death. There were worse ways to go, if one considered the many and varied ways of dying, but still it would be quite a disgraceful way to go.
As he sprinted down the dusty street, gasping in the humid air in short pants, he thought he could hear someone laughing behind him, and he gritted his teeth in anger. Let them laugh, he though as he turned another corner, barely avoiding knocking over a youngster with a stack of papers. She shrieked when he barrelled past her, but he had no time to stop. And had any of those snickering bastards been in his situation they'd do the same damn thing! There were some things, or people, you just didn't want to mess with, and on the very top of that list was that amazingly frigid man he called 'Taichou'.
"Holy fuck…!" he exclaimed, panting, when he came to a halt just outside of the office. He might as well get the cussing out of the way before going into the office. Kuchiki-taichou wouldn't appreciate him… well talking like a normal human being. Or shinigami actually. Glancing at his wristwatch, another handy gift from the living world that was no where near as horrid as that traitorous alarm clock, he felt a sudden urge to laugh out loud, and possibly jump up and down in glee. He made it! Goddammit he'd made it!
Ah! This was a good day. A fantastic fucking fabulous day!
With a wide grin still adorning his features he slid the door to the office open and stepped inside.
"Kuchiki-taichou…" he began, halting when he found the room empty. No evil captain of doom in sight to give him a piercing glare. "Damn…" he muttered. He could've come in late, because obviously the captain had decided to do so himself.
Damn that sneaky bastard. If Renji didn't know better he'd have thought that the noble had planned this.
Sighing he closed the door to the office behind him as he stepped fully into the room and made his way over to his desk.
"Ouch! What the hell?" he yelled, jumping back from the desk when something struck his foot from underneath it. Glaring at the desk he frowned. What the heck was that? Was there someone under his desk? Getting down on his knees on the floor he peered under the desk, and sure enough he saw a movement from underneath. "Hey!" he barked. " Under there! Whoever ya are, ya better get out here!"
The only answer he got was a derisive snort from underneath the desk and Renji narrowed his eyes dangerously. He climbed back up on his feet.
"What are ya deaf? Get outta there." He snapped at the desk. There was no snort this time, but a moment later a head popped up from under the desk, quickly followed by the rest of the frame of a boy. Perhaps thirteen or so years old, the redhead noted absently as he glared at the dark haired boy.
"Who the hell are ya?" Renji snapped, glaring at the boy. Absentmindedly noting that the brat reminded him of someone.
The boy gave him a superior glare, crossing his arms over his chest. "Who the hell are you? Can't you speak properly?" he corrected back, his chin tilted in a lazy manner that seemed vaguely familiar.
"Hey, brat." The redhead snapped back, pointing his finger accusingly at the dark haired boy. "Yer the one that broke into the sixth division's office, not me. Ya answer me first."
"I did no such thing. I have every right to be here." The brat replied nonchalantly.
"Oh yeah? And what are ya, Kuchiki-taichou's new servant?"
"Hardly. " The boy huffed. "I am however his grandchild."
Renji blinked.
"Ha! Now I know yer lying. Kuchiki-taichou doesn't have any grandchildren, he doesn't have kids either, ya little brat."
The boy's expression darkened. "Are you stupid? I am his grandson. You are obviously the intruder here if you don't know that much. Go get someone of a higher rank. I tire of this conversation. "
And with that the brat turned away from him, and walked over to the captain's desk where he promptly sat down as if he had every right to do so.
"Oh no, ya don't…" Renji muttered, stalking over to the brat and grabbing a hold of his arm and hoisting him up. "Ya ain't sitting there. The cap'n gonna be here any second."
"Let me go." The brat snapped, trying to pull his arm free but Renji refused to give in and easily dragged the boy away from the desk to stand in the middle of the office.
"Let me go, you redheaded baboon," the boy yelled again, struggling in his grasp.
"Who the hell are ya calling a baboon, brat? I just saved ya from havin' yer hide skewered by…"
A low knocking on the door made him stop mid-sentence, and the boy wrenched his arm free when his grasp on it slackened somewhat. Rubbing his arm, the boy glowered at him accusingly, as if to say 'I'll get you back for this.'
Renji rolled his eyes, and then pointed a finger right between the eyes of the boy. "Stay right there. And don't ya dare move an inch."
The slight narrowing of the boy's eyes was the only response he got, and he decided that would have to do when the person on the other side of the door knocked again.
With another cuss he stomped over to the door and slid it open.
"Ukitake-taichou," he greeted the tall, white haired man standing on the other side, instantly taking a step back to let the captain inside.
"Ah, Abarai-fukutaichou," the gentle man smiled warmly. "Good morning. I just came by to check up on Kuchiki-taichou, it seems he's forgotten we were to meet over breakfast this morning."
Renji pulled a confused face. His captain never forgot things like that.
"I'm sorry, Ukitake-taichou, but Kuchiki-taichou isn't here, perhaps he…" he trailed off when he realised that the captain's focus had shifted away from him. Looking behind him he set his eyes on the only thing that could've caught the captain's attention. And ducked when a stapler was hurled at his head. Cussing he stomped back towards the boy who had thrown it at him, but as he reached out to grab him this time the boy easily flashstepped out of his way.
Growling Renji flashstepped as well, intent on getting his hands on the brat, but once more said brat sidestepped him, nearly making him crash into a wall in his haste.
Looking over his shoulder he found the brat standing a few feet away from him, wearing an annoying, superior smirk on his face.
"I'm sorry, Ukitake-taichou. My captain isn't here at the moment," he said through gritted teeth. "But I really need to get this intruder out of here before he returns."
"As if you could catch me." The brat snorted, flicking his hair back. Renji clenched his fists and fought down the urge to strangle the brat. He really wanted to beat the crap out of this rude little shit. He's just a kid, he told himself. I can't very well beat him up. Right?
"Abarai-fukutaichou. Have you met Kuchiki-taichou today?" Ukitake-taichou asked, and the redhead looked over at the white haired man, noting a worried expression on the man's face. He straightened, feeling as if that worry was important somehow. It was rare that Ukitake-taichou wore such a face, so when he did it had to be important.
"Nah, he wasn't in when I got here. Only that brat was here." He answered scratching the back of his head. "I figured he had a meeting or something."
The tall man nodded slowly, and stepped into the office, towards the brat. "What's your name?"
The boy's face darked again, his eyebrows knitting together in annoyance. "Byakuya," he replied stiffly. "You know me, Ukitake-san."
Renji stared at the boy. "No way."
Author's notes: I just enjoy writing Byakuya as a kid, and then I couldn't help but wonder what a meeting between his young self and Renji would be like. This is the result. Not so sure how IC it is, but it amused me.