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It was autumn in Ankh-Morpork. The sun rose. It shone yellow and orange, smearing the skyline apricot. It was an appealing sight, or would have been, were it not for the constant rain filling the gutters with murky water. Rain swirled around the tower that protruded from within the Unseen University grounds, and water flowed over the Brass Bridge, flooding it.
The Patrician surveyed the scene from the window in his office. It was typical autumn weather for the city. He considered the difficulties that would arise from this; for example, the streams running down the street outside the fools' guild would probably get mixed with cream and cause health problems further down the road. But the citizens would cope, as they always did in Ankh-Morpork. At least, he thought, the amount of water in the Ankh would increase by ninety-nine percent.
As he continued to gaze meaningfully out of the window, there was a polite knock at the door.
Without turning around, the Patrician said, "Ah, Drumknott. I trust all is well?"
His secretary entered and then shuffled his feet nervously.
"Well, my lord, your niece has arrived. Erm."
The Patrician sighed and sat down at his desk. "Has she been shown to her room?"
"Yes, sir," Drumknott said, nodding. "She has decided to, er, retire, as she had a long journey from her parents'."
"At this time in the morning?"
"We had to get the footman to carry her up the staircase she was so tired, my lord," said Drumknott uncertainly.
The Patrician sighed again. He would not have expected such behaviour of any other of his visitors, but his niece… She did not seem to realise how busy he was. It was as if she did not know he was trying to keep a city ticking over, not to mention the paperwork that seemed to materialise in his office like CMOT Dibbler appeared at popular events. But his sister, as always, was very persistent about him letting his niece visit him. His sister did not appear to notice that he happened to be the ruler of an 'untameable' city, as it was sometimes called. But Vanessa could be very…persuasive.
"When she awakes, kindly send her to my office. You may go now, Drumknott."
Drumknott looked relieved. "Yes, my lord."
At the corner of Upper Broadway Samuel Vimes stood under the colourful awning of the embroidery shop, watching the dismal rain. He liked the rain. Fewer crimes happened in the rain. The rain was a Watchman's friend, as he always used to say. He found the rain…peaceful. Quiet, even. He might even go as far as saying blis- His train of thought derailed as he heard a sudden ear-splitting yell from the direction of Bolly Manga's boot shop.
He looked up to the nearest clacks tower. There didn't seem to be anyone up there. Briefly, he wondered why, but then vaguely recalled something that Carrot had said about the clacks tower on the Street of Cunning Artificers. He'd even written a report. But it had become part of the mountain of papers on Vimes' floor.
It might have been helpful to have someone up in the tower, but, as no one was, he'd just have to sort it by himself.
"Oh, gods…" he said to the world in general, and broke into a run. He didn't stop until he was right outside the shop.
He had been expecting a street fight at least. But there was nothing, nobody in sight.
"What have I missed?" he said, as the rain ran off the sides of his helmet.
"Duddle-duddle-dum!"
"Oh, no…"
A voice came from the depths of his pocket. "Good afternoon, Insert Name Here! Missed appointments: interview Edyn Von Hildreth, see-"
The singsong voice was cut off as Vimes smacked his hand against the pocket containing the Disorganiser. He heard the imp muttering under his breath.
Vimes looked around again. Although the street looked empty, he thought he could feel the gaze of a pair of eyes on the back of his head. He turned around. A large white cat was staring at him from atop a nearby wall. This would have been intimidating, if it were not for the fact that the cat had a black patch over one eye, that Angua or Cheri would have called 'cute'. *
He dismissed the cat, and, after a couple of seconds of contemplation, decided to question Bolly Manga.
The bell above the door tinkled as he entered the shop. The desk was empty. The doors concealing the staircase that lead up to where Manga lived were bolted shut.
Vimes soon became aware that he was creating an increasingly large puddle on the floor. He wiped his feet on the tatty doormat and stepped into the middle of the room. As he did so, the door behind him swung open and Sergeant Detritus climbed in, followed closely by Captain Carrot. They saluted smartly.**
"What are you doing here?" Vimes asked.
"Er, don't you know, sir?" Carrot looked worried. "It was you who called us here in the first place."
"Yeah," agreed Detritus. "You said dat you needed some pris'ners taken care of."
"No I didn't." Vimes looked almost as confused as Detritus, and this was quite an achievement.
"But sir, we got a clacks saying that Sam Vimes needed us," said Carrot.
Vimes groaned as realization dawned. "Oh, no…" He'd warned Sybil about this. But his wife just wouldn't take no for an answer. "Come on."
He led them to the small set of doors off to the right, and was about to open them when a sudden thought stopped him. "Oh, and Sergeant, I don't think we'll need that yet so please put it away."
The troll looked disappointed as he tucked the converted siege weapon under the desk.
Vimes tugged on the handle of the door. "Damn thing's stuck. I-"
"Lemme help you dere, sir," Detritus offered.
"It's okay, I've got it-"
But the troll wasn't listening.
*Well, not Angua, she didn't approve much of cats.
**Actually, it would be more accurate to say that Carrot saluted smartly, and Detritus saluted cautiously so as not to knock himself out.