This is another ending to Ernest Hemingway's novel "A Farewell To Arms". English is not my mother tongue so therefore there might be some mistakes but I would really appreciate it if you considered reading it.
Farewell
The nurse showed me the baby.
"Is he all right?" I asked.
"He's magnificent. He'll weigh five kilos."
I had no feeling for him. He did not seem to have anything to do with me. I had no feeling of fatherhood.
"Aren't you proud of your son?" the nurse asked.
"No, " I said. "He nearly killed his mother."
I began even more to dislike the child as it began to let out an incredibly loud scream. Good god, I never imagined a baby could scream like that!
"You better get out of here I suppose." the nurse said after seeing my look of disgust.
I was glad to leave and I went to see Catherine instead. Now everything was over. The baby was born and relief floated through me. But Catherine did not look very well. She was pale and her eyes were closed. I made an effort to enter the room to look at her properly but a nurse stepped in my way.
"You can't come in now."
"Why not?"
"There may be a complication and I want to fetch the doctor."
I was alarmed.
"What kind of complication?"
"A hemorrhage" she answered. "But calm yourself, as I said I want to fetch the doctor right now."
"Do you want to tell me that she..."
The nurse did not let me finish.
"I'm not going to tell you anything until I don't know it for sure."
Good god! I watched her running away while my mind went completely blank. Oh god, what if she should die? 'She won't', I told myself instantly. She will be all right. Everything is going to be all right. There was no need to be alarmed. This was a good hospital and they would not let her die. God, what if she should die? I knew I could never handle the baby on my own. Never. So, what if she should die?!
The doctor and the nurse appeared and went into the room to see Catherine. I could not do anything but standing in the doorframe. I could not move. I just stared.
"Wait in the hall!" the doctor told me.
"I won't."
"You go now!"
I made my way to the chair which I had claimed the whole day. There I sat down and heard the rain outside. The rain. This thing Catherine had always been extremely scared of. Now I could understand why. I felt it – the pain and the fear. What if she should die? I kept on assuring myself that this was impossible and complete nonsense but the thought remained in my head. What if she should die? What was going to happen to the child? To her baby. To our baby. Yes, it was our baby after all though I was not proud of this little creature. The thought of me being a father never entered my head fully. Me, a father! Good god, was I not much too young to have a child yet? The baby was just a result of happier times in Milan. We had just fun. So, the child was not my task after all, was it? But what if she should die?
"Mr. Henry?"
I stood up immediatley. The nurse looked very exhausted.
"What's the matter? She's not dead, is she?"
I could not tell from the look of her face whether she would calm me down or deliver the worst news.
"No, she's not dead but I'm afraid for her. She lost much blood."
"Can I see her?"
She nodded.
"Of course."
I entered the room only to find a woman lying in the bed I hardly recognized. Catherine's face was ashen and she looked extremely exhausted.
"How is she, doctor?" I asked silently.
"She's unconscious." He sighed. "I'm sorry Mr. Henry, but I did everything for her that I was capable of."
"Is she going to..." Suddenly I could not bring myself to say the word out loud. It was just too dreadful.
"It's possible."
"Let me alone, please."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded determined and the doctor obeyed and left the room.
So, this was it. I could tell from the doctor's look that the death was no possible option but a certain fact. There would be no happy life together with Catherine. Every tiny thing we had planned for the future exploded like a bomb in front of my eyes. Everything became senseless.
Catherine was unconscious all the time I stayed with her holding her hand. It did not take her very long to die. But for me it felt like eternity until I left the room silently.
The nurse came to me but I went away. I could not talk to anybody right now. I was too absorbed in my own thoughts. I walked down the hall and came to a stop in front of the room where the baby was asleep. Our baby. My baby. I could not believe it. What should I do next? I had a baby! Could I just leave him here? No, Catherine would have killed me. No, I had to take him with me. I owed it to Catherine. But not tonight. Tonight I needed time to think.
After a while I went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain.
The End