Summary: Girls are delicate and sensitive and need a nice, sweet man to take care of them. Boys are emotionally challenged, testosterone fueled jerks who are after nothing but sex. Blondes are dumb. Rich kids are stupid. These are the rules. They are the exceptions.

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl and make no money out of the writing of this fic. Duh.

WARNINGS: This fic will contain Artemis being his usual devious self and Juliet kickin' ass. May contain swearing.

Chapter 1: To Cherish and Protect

"You know, I really wouldn't do that, if I were you," Artemis observed conversationally. This was addressed to the group of punks slowly circling and closing in on his girlfriend standing a few feet away from him.

The leader of the punks spared him one glance. 5 feet 11", lanky with pale white skin; Artemis Fowl was not a picture to strike fear into the hearts of men. The punk laughed.

"Or what? You gonna do somethin' about that?"

He came very close to the girl now. A couple of his pals were standing behind her, preventing her from backing away as she undoubtedly would have done otherwise. He gave her a lecherous once over. She was slim, with the toned build of an athlete. She was blond with decidedly foreign features, giving her an exotic look. Strangely enough, she didn't look terrified or sickened, but blinked glittering green eyelids at him.

Artemis smiled. "Oh no…not me." He leaned back onto the bench, arms crossed, as if disinterestedly watching a show.

The punks found this decidedly weird behavior. Most boyfriends made at least an attempt to look protective of their girlfriends. Was this guy some kind of sicko who would enjoy watching what was about to occur? He frowned at Artemis, then turned back to the girl.

"Hey bitch, looks like your boyfriend doesn't care what happens to you." He smirked.

The blonde looked unconcerned. "Yeah he's more concerned about you."

The punk looked puzzled. He placed one rough hand around her waist and pulled her close.

Artemis winced. "I told you not to do that." He looked at his girlfriend and shrugged. "Well, can't say I didn't warn him."

The now decidedly confused punk bared a fist at Artemis. "What, you think I should be scared of you, pretty boy?" he sneered.

Artemis looked decidedly amused now. "Not me. Her."

The punk blinked. He felt a vice-like grip on his wrist. He tried to twist it but he couldn't. The blonde chick? Impossible! Then he felt a slight pressure on his wrist and the next thing he knew, he had his arm twisted around behind his back. He winced and tried to break free. Then Juliet pulled it upwars slightly more and it snapped clean at the elbow. The punk screamed.

Juliet threw him forward and as he spun around due to the momentum, Juliet's knee connected with his groin.

Before he knew what was happenng, he found himself on his back on the ground, right arm broken and extreme pain in the family jewels. His friends didn't realize what happened until they heard their leader screaming at them to get her. They rushed at her, four at once.

Juliet caught one with a side kick, striaght to the solar plexus that sent him sprawling to the ground. He didn't get up. Another guy came at her from behind, only to get her elbow in his face. As he staggered back from the impact, Juliet dispatched him with a back kick to the chest. The remaining two were dispatched similarly. Juliet was careful not to hit any vital spots, but the leader would not be walking anytime soon.

15 seconds later, the punks had joined their leader on the ground in various states of incapacitation. Juliet flicked some hair out of her face. "Boys." She shook her head.

Artemis chuckled. "Indeed." Juliet walked up to him and he stood up.

"Well, shall we go somewhere else?" she asked. "I don't really feel like dealing with the authorities right now."

Artemis gave offered her an arm and she took it. Together, they strolled out of the park, one ordinary couple among a hundred others.

Enjoy! And review please but no flaming or I will flame back. Constructive criticism welcome.