A/N: Written for the March 2010 Springkink prompt Bleach, Byakuya/Rukia: Undressing, Voyeurism, Shower/Bath sex
Rating: M (incestuous desires, voyeurism, physical and emotional abuse)
Disclaimer: Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo.
Given
Of all the instinctive impulses that humans experience, carnal desire is among the most powerful. Nothing can truly free the soul from the bondage of lust — neither death nor reincarnation; not saintliness, pride, determination, or nobility. Yet, Kuchiki Byakuya thought he had conquered his base urges.
After I lost you, Hisana, I thought I would never love again.
I thought no other woman could ever make me feel the way you did,
And I resolved to purge myself of the suffering brought about by my desires.
It had startled him to first look upon the face of his wife's sister. Certainly, his logical mind expected a resemblance, but his repressed emotions found the reality to be profoundly disturbing. After Rukia had been living in his home for a few years, he realized she had become deeply attracted to him. It was hardly surprising, given the effect he typically had on women, but again his heart was troubled.
Somewhere deep inside himself, he felt guilty for having abruptly separated Rukia from her childhood love. Simultaneously, he was consumed by a jealous suspicion that she trysted with Renji in secret while deployed with the Thirteenth Division. Yet whenever she was home on leave, Renji seemed all but forgotten. Byakuya became the center of her world, and her constant attention frustrated him to no end.
She had no real obligation to the Kuchiki family. She had not asked or needed to be taken in. She was literally Byakuya's sister-in-law, though she was not yet aware of the fact. He had no real authority over her and no right to engage with her physically. But she endlessly tempted him. She treated him with fawning deference, as if he were an idol she had a crush on. And it was all because he tried to keep a promise.
Sometimes, Hisana, I kneel before your portrait and I try to remember what I said
When you pleaded with me to make your sister mine,
As you begged forgiveness for burdening me with such a task.
I remember holding your hand as you passed away,
But I never acknowledged your entreaty.
I never made the promise you hold me to.
The Kuchiki manor was surrounded by many natural water features, most notably a lovely, cascading hot spring only a short walk from Byakuya's rooms. Often after a particularly grueling mission or training session he would go to the onsen instead of his bathhouse to soak his tired muscles.
Wandering the grounds out of boredom one day, Rukia was walking along the bank of the onsen pool when she sensed Byakuya's approach. Without thinking, she quickly ducked behind a fallen boulder to hide. Though he couldn't see her, Byakuya easily recognized her presence by her panicked and inadequately restrained reiatsu, but found that he didn't particularly care. He stripped off his clothes, sat on the rocks and tipped his head back into the tumbling waterfall before jumping down into the hot pool. When he had finished bathing, he climbed out and dried himself, pulled on his clothing and walked up the hill to the manor, paying not the slightest attention to his sister peeking at him from behind the huge boulder on the far bank.
After that, Byakuya began to visit the onsen more often, and Rukia clandestinely followed him every time she had the opportunity. Almost subliminally, he began to display himself when Rukia was watching— spreading his legs a little wider as he sat under the cascading water, brushing his fingers over an erect nipple or a lean, hard thigh, shaking out his flowing, ink-black hair.
Early one evening, he set off down the hill in a malignant frame of mind, noting Rukia's furtive observation of his departure. After slowly slipping out of his yukata, he sank into the pool, swam across and climbed out onto the smooth, sloping boulder on the far bank. He stretched his lanky nakedness out under the sky, hands clasped behind his head, and contemplated the wispy clouds colored by the setting sun.
I dreamt of you last night, Hisana.
I dreamt of the scent of your hair and of plum blossoms in the dark of winter.
I know you haven't gone on yet, and you are watching over Rukia and I.
I know you are watching this tragedy unfold.
When Rukia's tiny hand reached around the rock to touch a lock of his hair he was neither startled nor surprised. He simply grabbed her wrist and slid down into the water, pulling her in with him, and held her under the surface.
She struggled in helpless panic as he nonchalantly untied her hakama and obi, stripped her, and threw her soaked uniform onto the bank before letting her up to breathe. Spluttering, she began to cry, more from embarrassment than anything else. He lifted her up to sit on the rock and contemplated her bare body with cold, emotionless eyes.
She is so like you, Hisana, though so different.
Even now, older than you lived to be,
She is much smaller than you were,
But possesses far greater strength of body and mind.
"Why do you come here, Rukia? Why do you watch me bathe?"
"I— I am so sorry, nii-sama. I have committed a terrible affront—"
"If you have such an uncontrollable urge to see the male body, why don't you spy on the members of your division?"
"No, nii-sama, it's not that I want to look at men—"
"Well, what is it then?"
Rukia hid her face in her hands.
"Have you ever wondered, Rukia, why I proposed adoption to you instead of marriage? It was my grandfather's belief that because you resemble my wife, you would perhaps be a comfort to me. But I found out that you had been spoiled by Abarai. I know that you tempted Shiba Kaien into adultery, and you've probably given yourself to many others. You behave like a whore, Rukia. You are a disgrace to this family. Whatever shall I do with you?"
I was never cruel to you, Hisana,
Yet I am never kind to Rukia.
In my anger, frustration and hypocrisy,
I lie and lash out like a cornered predator.
Rukia was crying in earnest now. She reached a hand out to touch Byakuya's smooth abdomen, sliding it down to caress his burgeoning arousal. She slipped into the water and bent down to try to take him into her mouth, but he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and lifted her back up onto the rock.
"But you are not a whore, Rukia. You are my sister. Whether you like it or not, you are my sister, and you must behave as such, because I will not release you from the terms of your adoption."
"Why, nii-sama?" she blurted out. "I loved Renji and you took him from me. I loved Kaien and you would not let me mourn him. And I watch you, nii-sama, because I desire you. I haven't been with others! I don't look at others, I only look at you! I can't resist you, I am in love with you, but you refuse me! We are not blood relatives, nii-sama. Why won't you allow me to love and be loved? Please tell me! Please! Nii-sama—"
Her words were cut off as Byakuya slapped her hard across the face.
It is so unfair how in this life
The innocent are punished by the whims of the sinful.
She cannot have love, Hisana.
She cannot have it because I am a jealous god,
Because the ghosts of my father and mother and of you clutch at my heart.
Her existence represents all of the ill-conceived, unbreakable promises that bind me.
Her presence illuminates the weaknesses that I cannot overcome.
"My reasons are not for you to know, Rukia. Put your clothes on and go to your quarters. I do not want to so much as sense remnants of your reiatsu until I send for you."
"Yes, nii-sama," she whispered. Humiliated and confused, she wrapped herself in her wet shitagi and gathered up the rest of her sodden clothing.
"Rukia."
"Yes, nii-sama."
"From now on, you are not to be intimate with Abarai or anyone else without my knowledge and consent, and I don't care what Ukitake thinks of the matter. Is that understood?"
There was an awkward silence as Byakuya's words registered in Rukia's mind.
"Do you understand me, Rukia?"
"Yes, nii-sama, I understand." Her voice was lifeless, her eyes downcast. She turned to make her way unsteadily up the hillside, very much aware of Byakuya's gaze boring into her back.
Hisana, I have found your sister, and that circumstance has proved most unfortunate.
I am not capable of honoring your dying wish.
I found her, but I cannot keep her, Hisana, for I cannot protect her from myself.
Forgive me.
I must give her back to you.