Bad Spies
Resume: So, England and France are spying America and Russia that are acting weird and have many meeting which makes them believe they are working together to rule the world… They Do everything they can to spy them and try to stop them… just one problem… they are slightly wrong… Enjoy =)
Pairings: rusame; Fruk
Gender: humour, romance?
Warning: Language, mature content.
Notes: Re-posting, hopeful the FF won't delete this again…. *sighs*
I also rearranged this because it was my first fanfic, so yes, it's just clichés but the intention is to make you laugh not being serious...
.
'' So… this means we have a deal?'' America says lowly.
''Da, we have…'' Russia nods to him.
'' Good… See you later dude!'' America starts walking away and Russia smiles softly to him and waves ''It's always a pleasure to negotiate with you.''
.
Was another secret "meeting" between Russia and America, and of course England and France tried to spy them, again. This time they have a hidden card, they got help of a little friend, Sealand. He was hidden in the bushed hearing the both huge nations preparing some kind of meeting to discuss important matters that were suppose to be confidential to every one else, in the end he got the building and went to the curious duo inform them of his spying.
The duo looked curiously to the little non country who smiled widely ''So… I made my work as a spy am I already a country?''
''No you brat! You need to be a real country…''England starts and France glared to him then turns to Sealand.
''You see… zat not what he meant mon pettit… tell us ezacty what they said….''
Sealand sighed, this two are impossible ''I've told you… they will go to this address together'' he pointed to the paper in his hand and looked to them again '', and is a secret meeting, at least they were both very serious about it…. and now! Can you acknowledge me? ''
The other two simply glanced to each other and England sighed ''And now? Do you still think they are not working together?''
France shifted and sighed ''Well mon cher, Russia is no longer a communist… and I think our dear Amérique can take care of himself…. together they can rule the world… of course China would be a problem but…'' he starts wondering aloud and England punches him.
''You fool! I though he hated him… and now every month they have at least one secret attending in secret… I don't want to believe they are working together but…. He never tells me what is going on… He can't work with that Bastard…. He's evil… pure evil…'' he sulks for a while and Sealand interrupts
''Come on! Acknowledged me!'' he stopped to think and murmurs ''Hey jerk, they showed some tension now you talk about that… they don't seem to trust each other….''
.
''No… you will come to my house!'' America yells,
'' Nyet… moy Amerika I still do not trust you… and I know you'll behave in my home…'' Russia hisses narrowing his eyes, America is not amused and uffs.
'' I don't trust you either commie, and I will never go to your creepy house.'' he shudders and Russia sighs.
''Amerika… I am not a communist any more, we already have this discussion… And why not!''
''Yeah, yeah… 'cause not Russia, and that would bring people to suspect that we have some kind of agreement.. ''
'' And we have moy America… but I see what you mean… have you noticed already?'' He looked to the bushes and America laughed.
'' Yes… you talk to him?'' Russia glowed and smiled widely.
''Yes… I will….'' America frowned and clapped his back as warning.
'' Don't hurt him or I'll kick your ass…''
'' Do not worry… and I would like to see that… '' he smirked before walking to the bushes where a small non nation was yelping in fear.
''Come on mon cher Angleterre… We started spying them a long time ago and 'till now we haven't see any harm or political implications, and that tension, '', France smirked mischievously, '' I start to think this means other things mon cher, it looks like sparks between lovers don't you think?'' he places one arm around England who shoves him hard and prods his stomach.
''Don't say that frog! That can't be truth!'' he walks a bit away thinking ''I believe he's fooling America, It only can be it…. and their countries are in slight good terms which mean we should be wary, frog!''
France was still grabbing his stomach and glared at England ''Don't say that, and don't punch me, I'm helping you rosbif… It's your fault we don't have good information, you are a bad spy!''
England looked outraged , he fumed and yelled ''Me!''
France snorted and England continued,
''You were the one painting your hair and pretending to be a waiter to try to hear what they were talking, on the other day, on that restaurant… but no… instead doing that you took, for once, your job seriously and started to do real work, forgetting why you were there!'' He shoved France who shoved him back.
''It's in my blood spread my beauty and help lovers finding real wine! I couldn't help it rosbif!'' He glared and they started fighting with punches, kicks and bites.
Sealand sighed and yelled ''HEY! I still here! Acknowledge me!''
They stopped fighting and stood glaring at each other while panting; suddenly England tensed and looked at Sealand.
''Wait.. they saw you?''
''Yes, and Russia told me to tell you both if he sees you around them again he will hit you violently'' he nodded and they stared in shock, as an after though Sealand smirked ''He also said that then he would play with your eyebrows, jerk England''
England stood angered and in slight fear, France started to laugh.
''Ohnononon Mon cher… I'll protect you! Honhonon, But would be fun to see what he means to play with those caterpillars''
''And your hair France.'' Sealand ads and goes away laughing.
France started to cry ''Non, he can't! how inhumane!''
England smirked to him '' That serves you right!''
France glared at him ''So mean!''
.xxxxx.
-America's house-
'' Why don't you like being here?'' America sits on the love seat next to Russia and leans on him.
''It's not that, its..'' he turned to America with a blank face and stated ''You have a whale, and a alien'' America simply looked at him confused and he sighed,
''You are very weird Amerika.'' He nodded to himself.
''So are you, but you know If I go more times to Russia England will never leave me alone…'' he said softly and Russia nodded to him ''Wahahahah, you saw France with brown hair?'' he laughed.
''Yes, fufufu, was weird he didn't came near us…'' he chuckled a bit and resumed his thought ''But he looked nice.''
America glared at him ''Oh, Now you like him?'' he hissed and Russia chuckled.
''Nyet.. I like his hair, is different silly American.''
''I will punch you ….'' America kept glaring and Russia giggled.
''Are you jealous, little one?''
''NO… you, you… you are the crazy one not me!'' he yelled making Russia wince.
''I am not crazy moy dear….'' A dark glow started spreading and the living room become colder ''You belong to me.'' He stated and America leaned to him looking him in the eyes.
''I belong to no one, crazy Rusky!''
Russia leaned further and talked on his lips lowly ''Silly American… you need to learn your place.''
America smirked and narrowed his eyes ''Why don't you show me?''
Russia closed the space, lips brushing lips and noses barely touching.
''My pleasure'' he grabbed his hair to a bruising kiss and America almost tackled him while jumping to him.
.
-England House-
''You got it!'' England asked and France nodded,
''Oui, but what if the window is closed?''
'' I know America, It will be open. If, eventually is closed, we can always try the door.'' He trailed and France closed the space moving a hand to grab his tie.
''Oh, you'll use your Pirate days abilities?''
''Stop that!'' England shoved the hand and glared to him, France merely chuckled.
''Mon cher, and if le Russe … you know? '' he trailed a bit nervous.
''I mostly concerned with America, he will never forgive me, but if for his good…'' he said with determination.
''I do not think we should mess with their secrets, I got a feeling that we really shouldn't…'' France frowned.
''We can't stop now… and you know…'' he trailed not sure how to continue.
''Why don't we record them instead?'' France suggests,
''They would find out, you know both are incredible smart, wary and paranoid. If that's so 'secret' they would take cautions.''
''They will see us..''France sighed and England smirked.
''No, I'm England! I'm the master of spies! They would only catch you!''
''And you would enjoy that angleterre…'' he places a hand on his heart ''you wound me.''
.xxxxx.
Days have passed and his the 'secret meeting' day. France and England have been spying them almost every day, some dinners together, some walks on the park and some tension that was making both spies believe they would start to fight at any second. The plan was simple, they know the place of the meeting, they were there and prepare everything before, they would enter for one window, previously open by them, and record the conversation themselves 'cause none believed the other two would not search for cameras or recorders, if was secret they would be the most cautious possible. They were both a bit surprised to find that Russia was going to stay three weeks on America, worse was to find that America had done that same routine in the previous year.
Today was the day, surprisingly Russia and America were on the park eating some ice cream watching kids playing, America seamed surprisingly calm holding Texas on his hand, and talking softly with the other who was with his always scarf around his neck and some sort of America's clothes but in a larger size.
France and England were behind the bushes, literally. They were hidden and dressed for the occasion with black suits and dark glasses, and England knows they look good, even the frog looks good with an English suit.
''They haven't done anything bad until now, but they are laughing looking ate some kids… do they want to kill the kids? '' he asks with horror in his voice and France frowns,
''I wouldn't think that mon cher. Now, most important, what is with zat clothes that the Russe is wearing? That looks so wrong on him, but have you noticed he's in good shape? Honhonhon'' he smirked staring at some nicely shaped and worked legs, England slapped his head.
''Don't say that, I'm talking serious! This is very weird, they are not moving.'' England stated with suspicion and France ignored him for the sake of beauty,
''Don't tell me you don't find the Russe attractive? They are both almost as attractive as moi…''
''Now that you-. NO! You bloody frog! Shut up! This is serious!'' He yells making a few kids staring at them and a few mothers to grab his kids from the weird men rolling on the ground, behind bushes and dressed in black suits.
France laughed ''I know, I know, evil plans killing ze children and eating ice cream… What will be their next move, sex on the beach?'' he chuckles more and England rolls his eyes.
''Look, they're moving!'' he warned and stood, France also stood and they received weird looks but paid no mind, too focussed on their task.
.
Meanwhile Russia was incredibly uncomfortable, on his house his sister, here two delirious countries and he is the one considered crazy…
''I do not feel comfortable with them following us everywhere.'' He stated while America laughed.
''Petend they are not here. Ignore them….''
''I'm not sure If I can do that, is really bothering me…'' Russia sighed and America grabbed his hand giving it a squeeze and pointing to the crowed part of the park where some ambulant sellers were gathered and people were in masses.
''Ok, ok, let's try to make them lose us, let's go over there and run to our place after ok?''
Russia nodded and smirked to him ''Da, but you really enjoy having them following you…'' America laughed and smirked.
''Is just fun fooling them, they are worse than me together.''
Russia glowed and smiled widely.
''I would prefer using my methods. I do not know why I have agreed with you… besides, they are idiots if they haven't understood yet.''
''Come on, forget that. It will be fun!'' America laughed and dragged him, Russia couldn't stay mad for long, his American always amused him.
.
Soon enough Russia and America where nowhere to be seen, they vanished in that crowded place leaving two spy's very lost and confused.
''Mon Angleterre, zis is not working, they are not here….''
''Bloody Hell, and now?'' He looked around also trying to find them.
''I got one idea, maybe we should go to zat place and wait for them… they should meet their bosses there non?''
England looked at him in awe and blinked.
''That… sometimes you can think frog….'' He stated and they walked to their cars, none of them realising they were still covered in leaves and dirt.
.
When they drove to the isolated building once one car was already there and France turned to England.
''Isn't this Amerique car?''
''Yes it is, but they are already here?'' he asked slightly confused.
''They must be. We should hide this car or their bosses will see it when they come cher…''
''Yes, let's go.''
Once their car was 'hidden' a few blocks away they moved around watching out for another car arrive but almost one hour later no car was there.
''This can't be right… We got to go see what's happening now!'' England yelled to him frustrated.
''What! Non, I'm afraid they are alone and I don't want to be part of the murder that may happen…''
''Come on I can't let that bastard kill my boy…'' England grabs France and drags him out of the car somehow.
''Don't be a brute Angleterre, I will go but If there's any blood I'm out….'' He stated inspiring once to find the courage.
''Yes, yes you puss….''
They were climbing the tree when heard something getting broke inside the lonely house, both shivered and stared at other. "Angleterre…." France whimpered and England just murmured "Come on…". Luckily the windows still slightly open for them to enter and hear more crashing sounds. The French grabbed the arm of one British gentleman not very sure if he wanted to go inside any more but after a few minutes they reached the white bathroom.
Once inside the bathroom they both froze not hearing anything any more, just voices.
''Ange, they stopped…..'' France shivered in fear and England was doing his best to stay calm.
''Let me try to hear something….'' He said walking to the closed door and placed his ear there, France also stood near the door trying to listen.
''I will teach you how to behave! hung~~'' Russia's voice could be heard.
''Try it basta aa~~ã~~~~rd.'' America panted slightly,
''You will submit to…'' no sound was heard and England's heart almost fell ''mother Russia, dear Amerika… '' a loud slap was heard and England flinched.
''Don't say that creep… '' he said lowly and the voice became to mumbled to understand, suddenly he yelled ''NEVER! a~~~~''
'' I will hurt you then'' Russia stated and panted.
'' That's nothing! I can handle much more! '' America hissed and England stepped back shocked.
France looked at him worried ''Tell me!''
''Russia will kill America, he's killing him!'' He grabbed France and whispered, almost crying, ''He's killing my boy!'' and hissing angered.
France's eyes widen and he shook his head ''Mon Dieu, it can't be, let me hear…''
He forced England to drop his collar and placed his head on the door
'' Harder!'' America yelled panting, more panting sounds and flesh hitting flesh could be heard and France's mouth dropped.
''So eager moy dorogoy…''
''We must save him!'' England stated, now calm enough from his tantrum and France held him back.
'I don't think we should go inside Angleterre, this seams-'' England shoved him aside before he could finish his sentence and France almost stumbled before trying to held him back again.
Once in the room England gasped and almost fainted. America was on the ground back on the wall, ass up and legs open, one around the Russian, along with one hand deepening nails on the other's back. Russia was above him thrusting hard into him holding one of the other hands and with the other holding himself up while kissing the American jaw, both completely naked, close eyes in a room with the most of objects broken. They were busy hearing each other that they haven't heard or realised the spies entering the room.
England Frozen and France grabbed his arm both shocked, (well France had his pedo smile along with the shock face) America opened his eyes and stared grabbing the other and yelling 'Stalingrad' to make him stop and receive purple eyes confused staring at him, said purple eyes soon looked forwards to both nations staring at them and became frozen, eyes wide in shock.
For one second none knew what to do then France shoved England with him to the bathroom and America and Russia let each other trying to cover themselves, one America laughing nervously still shocked and one Russia feeling like the hole world could eat him alive right now.
Inside the bathroom France shook a non responding England that was gaping like a fish to him.
''Angleterre?''
''I… They…. oh god…. ´' he said and whimpered, France smirked and looked to the door.
''I always though it would be Amérique topping, it seams I was wrong…'' England hit his head and yelled.
''How… I mean… why?''
''Already told you I saw the spark, zis doesn't surprise me that much now that I think about it…' He nodded and England slapped him.
''And you tell me this now?' he yelled and the blond American entered on the bathroom, already wearing jeans.
''What are you both doing here?'' He said in a harsh voice.
''We were about to use the room for the same use…'' France says and England punches his face.
''We were spying you… I- ''
''I already knew that, but you must enter during this? Now Russia don't want to leave the room or finish-'' He sighed interrupting himself and shook his head ''Go away now, he wants to kill you both and I'm not against him on this one…'' he stated.
England blinked to him ''You knew?''
''Of course, a hero is not fooled like this.''
''So, le Russe also knew?'' France asked also bewildered.
''Too, he wanted to give you both a 'treat' and I think I will let him, now get off my fucking Secret 'braking stuff' House! Now I got to find another…'' he murmured annoyed,
France looked at him and in a tiny voice asked ''Why here? Can't you stay in your house?''
''Didn't you heard me? Do you think we would break my things? Nuh-uh, we only come here when we want to be rough and lose it a bit, I also use this to break things when I'm overwhelmed.'' he said smirking and England was idiotically staring at him.
''Hum, ok….. Can we talk later?''
''Yes, now Go! I want to finish this…'' he said a bit angered and impatient.
''Hononohnonon, don't let your lover waiting!'' He started waking to the door and America stopped him.
''Oh no, go out from where you entered! '' he pointed to the window narrowing his eyes and France looked at him
''But…''
''America… I-'' England started and America interrupted him again, now slightly yelling.
''Go or I'll shove both down the window.''
''Bien, come Angleterre…'' France sighed and England walked to him frowning and still shocked whispering '' … finish….. they…. My boy… corrupted... ''
France shakes his head and they start climbing the window, America grinned and called France who looked at him relieved, 'maybe he will let them go to the door', America only walked to them,
''We switch positions… '' with that he shoved them both to the tree making them almost fall on from it.
America walked to the room, after certificate that they were okay and holding the tree. This doesn't means he wants them hurt, at least not that hurt…
He chuckled when he entered and a bulge was on the blankets, the Russian was hiding and peeking to him with a not very amused face.
''Done, let's finish ok?'' America asked sitting on his side and petting the soft hair that was off the blankets
''I will kill them…'' he stated glaring and America laughed,
''Don't need, I guess they already have the shock of their lives…''
Russia sighed and dropped the blanket placing his hands on the American neck ''Next time, my house!''
America chuckled and grabbed his hair.
''Ok big guy, Now I'm not in the mood for rough….'' He pouted and Russia pecked his lips.
''Me neither, but I still want revenge…'' he smirked and America brought him to a deep kiss.
.
A few hours later on England's house, England was drinking tea and disturbed while France was very amused by the situation.
''Come on Angleterre, don't need to be like that…''
''I can't forget that, oh god….'' He placed his hands covering his face.
''Oui, it was incredibly hot.'' France stated before being slapped.
''Bloody frog….'' England whimpered and rubbed his temples distressed.
''You need to release tensions!'' France smirked and grabbed him placing kisses on his neck.
''Don't touch me frog!'' England protested but made no move of stopping him.
''But Angleterre, all this spy work got me very aroused.'' He smirked and winked.
''Stupid frog, you're only like that because you saw them fuck! ''England hides his face again sighing ''This is bad…''
France took advantage of the moment and grabbed his crotch laughing.
''I can see, very malade. You're already turned on…. Honhonhon'' He starts laughing with his pedo face and kisses him being returned more roughly than expected.
.xxxxx.
One week later the European spies were sipping tea and wine in Paris, they were talking about Canada who has been a bit hidden, rumours say that he is dating but they don't believe it very much, after all they only remind who he was after some days…
They were talking softly, England started reading the newspaper while France spoke about the new gossip around Europe when a loud laugh was heard and an obnoxious voice appeared making them flinch and tense.
''Hey you guys, what are you doing here?'' Russia walked slowly to the table with his ever present smile and they exchanged looks.
''Hum….'' Was the clever response from England and France shivered staring at Russia who stared back glowing, it seems he doesn't enjoys when people see his naked derrière...
''Ziz iz my place, we're taking tea and wine and you?''
''We are passing by and taking care of some business…''America stated and gazed at Russia who laughed softly and added,
''Ruling the world and start for punishing bad spies'' he sang while France and England shared looks.
''Ahahah you guys are so fun. By the way, this little trip we are making… ' 'America stared at them and bended to look at them ''you are both paying it. I would not spend much more money spying…. '' he laughed and they sighed. They should have known better.
''Nice to see you guys! Latter!''
Russia held America's sleeve and giggled ''Nice to see them indeed, fufufufu''
Both walked away talking excitedly and laughing and France stared at a surprisingly thoughtful England.
''France, you head this?''
''Oui, is still better than die non?''
''I'm not sure any more my old friend.''