A.N; Alright, so I wrote this immediately after the ending notices on Survive and A New Dawn. It's written in a style comparable to I Love Him/ I love it, just a bit more… out there. Tell me what you think.

I longed to hold you, you know. And now, as we're together, your back to me, I can, and do. I wrap my arms around your waist, and, unintentionally, find purchase to thrust into you with.

I wanted so dearly to sniff your hair, and now, in our current position, it's plastered onto my forehead and over my face with my own sweat.

I yearned to hear you moan out my name, and now, Misa-chan, you can't find your breath, and even if you cold, I thoroughly doubt you could find out whose name to moan in your beautiful voice.

No one knows it, but Misa-chan, I wanted this, the three of us, you, Kira-kun, and I, all working in tandem.

And now, as we thrust and grind and moan out our pleasures, we grip and scratch and rub until we climax yet again.

Can you feel me Misa-chan? Can you feel me filling you past the brim, my alabaster cream filling your still-tight rectum? I know you can feel my teeth as I bite down onto your shoulder to stifle my moans, since you reached back, and scratched my neck hard.

Or do you only feel Kira-kun? His more timid, less controlled thrusts into your lovely womanhood? I know he's smaller then me Misa-chan, and he doesn't have the control I do.

But must you hold onto him so lovingly? Must you shower him with kisses while I only get the back of your neck? Must you moan out his name and not mine?

I forgive you Misa-chan, and yet, even now, in the wonderful nirvana of sodomy, I still regret what I said.

I didn't say I loved him more then you, for I do not. But it still stands, I do not love you more then him. Yes, Kira-kun is my first and only friend, but can a man and woman honestly be friend for so long? To see each other daily, to watch us fight, to watch us think?

And I know you watched us at first, Misa-chan.

When Kira-kun and I first kissed, when we held hands in the computer room, when we first gave into lust. I wonder what Watari-sama did when he saw us, since I have him watch the cameras? Was he repulsed? Did he watch with the same lust in his eyes as you had in yours?

When exactly did you start to like it? The idea of two men chained together? "Ew, two guys chained together is gross!" That is exactly what you said Misa-chan. Was it when we kissed, Kira-kun and I? Was it when we held hands? Was it when we fought?

Or, Misa-chan, did you enjoy the thought of it the whole time? Don't be ashamed, I enjoyed it silently, even though I said otherwise.

I'm at a loss when Kira-kun falls to his back, sweaty, panting, after his eighth orgasm. I slow down, knowing full well you'll want to cuddle with your love. I slow down, hoping to have one last climax, but what's this Misa-chan?

You sit up, your legs wobbly from your pleasure, but, you're backing into me? Rest assured Misa-chan; your decision will not be regretted.

I can't imagine you loving Kira-kun more Misa-chan, I honestly can't. Not when you fall to your back, bringing me with you, atop you. Now we're facing each other, eyes closed in lust and ecstasy. You wrap your legs around my waist, and sloppily reach for my shoulders, looking for purchase.

Can you feel my hot breath on your neck, Misa-chan? Can you feel me kissing you, only to pant directly onto your lips? I think you can, as you do the same to me.

My heart soars as you moan out in yet another climax, Misa-chan. Your muscles tighten around me, coaxing me to release into you again. But what sets this apart, Misa-chan, is that it is me. It's me that is forcing you to lose your mind again. It's me throwing you over the edge. It's me making you see stars and white again.

And as I moan into your ear, I wonder what your face looks like. Is it contorted in pleasure? Or have you come down already? Are you blushing, like the first time? Or has your face lost the ability to, instead, rushing blood to heat your rectum? Is your mouth wide open, or are you trying to keep quiet, despite the sound-proofed room?

Now we can stop, Misa-chan. Now I pull from you with a loud and audacious POP. Before you can close, some of my seed pours out of you, Misa-chan.

Can you feel it? Can you feel my liquids deep inside you? Can you feel them leaving you? At any rate, they pool by your trim bum, Misa-chan, staining the white sheets a ruddy light grey. I know you can feel that, since you wriggle out of it, and into Kira-kun's side.

I smile absently at you two, you cuddling into Kira-kun's chest, and he, holds you by your waist. I wonder if you can feel his hand. I wonder if it's his hand you want to feel, but I know it is.

You seem to forget me, Misa-chan, as your bury yourself into him. As does Kira-kun, whom, not even giving me a second glance, turns to face you, to pull you into him.

And now, after the wonderful revel in heaven, I sit back, on my heels, and back farther, drawing my knees up to my chest. I know I do not belong in this picture, Misa-chan.

So, instead of curling against you and Kira-kun, I stand, and, unbeknownst to you, dress myself. Back, back to my life, back to the world that needed me. For I know, Misa-chan, that you do not need me.

And now I leave the room that is so strongly musked with our love-making, to the pristine walls of this suite.

I smile yet again, but it is not an absent smile, Misa-chan. I smile at my own stupidity. You see, I like to think of you waking, and, not feeling a second pair of arms around you, sit up and wonder: "Where's Ryuzaki?"

I sometimes even dare to imagine further, Misa-chan. That you would drape yourself in Kira-kun's shirt and wonder the halls aimlessly, wobbly-legged, looking for me.

And so I sit here, heavy hearted, waiting for your light foot steps, for your thin arms to wrap them selves around me. I wait vainly for your kiss, for it to be only mine, this time, and not to be shared with Kira-kun.

But soft, what's this? Are you calling me, Misa-chan?