1 How it started, and how it ended.
Peyton "Millstone"-Brand New
Lucas is silent. He's been sleeping for hours. But he's a alive. That's all that really matters isn't it? I Peyton Sawyer sit at his bedside. I'm wearing my IPOD. Listening to the beautiful song written by Brand New. And it all fits so perfectly. This is who I've become. This is where I've become. And now, as soon as he wakes up. I'll have the chance to have and hold everything I've ever dreamed of. At least I hope. "I used to be such a burning example, I used to be so original. I used to care, I was being cared for. Made sure I showed it to those that I love."
Everything has become so tradgic. Haley, the baby, Lucas. They all lay here, in this hospital which brings so many faces to tears. Hoping, praying their love ones will make it. And even though my mother is gone, my father is still out there. I may have lost one, but I have not lost all, yet.
"I used to sleep without a single stir, 'Cause I was about my father's work." Sometimes I wish so deeply that he would come home and rescue me. But how can I? The real Derek and Lucas are what made me who I am. Strong, Indepent, alive. All I need now is for him to wake up. Sure, I told him how I feel. But can you really express the sense of emotion coming over my body at this very second? I need him. I want to hug him, hold him, and love him. He just has to wake up.
"Well take me out tonight, This ship of fools I'm on will sink. I'm my own stone around my neck. If you'd be my breath, theres nothing I wouldn't give." That's the truth. There is nothing I wouldn't give to have Lucas awake, in my arms.
"I used to pray like God was listening. I used to make my parents proud. I was the glue that kept my friends together, now they don't talk and we don't go out." Brooke. The first person to think after hearing that melody sang so true. What was she doing right now? Probably sitting at Haley's bed along with Nathan, hoping to see her smiling face again. Brooke used to be such a good friend to her. How did she throw that all away on one single guy? "I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed. Now I've made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it."
"Lucas, please wake up." I'm begging. "Throw me that lifeline. This ship of fools I'm on will sink. I'm my own stone around my neck, if you'd be my breath. There's nothing I wouldn't give."
Everytime something like this happens I find myself in this hospital. Dreaming, wishing my mom was still here. "They never hit their brakes... There was no time to see... Just ran out in the street. Does anybody know his name? I think I recognize him. He sure as hell will pay for his mistake."
Brooke "The last lie I told"-Saves the Day
The rivercourt. The last place I would expect to come in light of everything that's happen in the past two days. But I feel like it's the only place where I can really gather my thoughts. In the morning I will leave. Before prom, before graduation. I'll leave this town without a care in the world. I won't even say goodbye. "I'm in a parking lot by myself. It's quarter to nine and I've been here since 5:45. Theres no one but I can see some flickering lights. I can hear some dogs barking in the back yards."
Maybe it wont be so bad. Leaving that is. Lucas and Peyton have apparently found the love they once desired. Everything that was fake between us. Haley and Nathan have each other, and the baby of course. But what do I really have here for me? I could go to New York. I could work on my fashion line. I could become everything I've always dreamed. And leave Tree Hill behind. "I wish the sky were open cause if there weren't those trees, I think I could see for miles. The city is just beyong those clouds. I guess this what it's like to e really down and holding out for something."
I can feel the vibration of my phone ringing in my purse. Maybe it's someone from the hospital. I look at the caller id and see Rachel's number blinking as I press ignore. She's the last person I want to talk to right now. "There's nothing like this parking lot. And seeing the stars in morning. Cause I can see them from where I'm lying. I can feel the cold pavement against my skin. It's tingling."
It's time to get up now. I'll go back to the hospital one last time, and try to say goodbye.
Haley "How to ruin everything"-Face to Face
There he goes. His dark hair and dark eyes. Walking out of the hospital room with tears in his eyes. I can't believe what I just said. But it was the truth. We're over. The baby inside my stomach still reaches out for him. I know he'll never leave my life but right now I had to say goodbye. "Theres something wrong with me, I dont know. If its not just inside my head. It feels like I'm walking through a dream. I still remember what you said. I know that everything will be alright. It's going to work out for the best. I think there must be something better still. It isn't really so far-fetched."
That was the end. The end of Nathan and I as a couple. He looked at my face and begged for forgivness when I woke up. But how many times can you forgive. Sure I love him. My heart and my mind will always love him. But something about the accident made me realize just how hard it can be to make things work. "I want a divorce."
"Its hard to trust in somebody else. Responsible for your success. But in the end I know it's up to me. I live my life with no regrets. So tell me everything I want to hear. What do you like about me best? I've been a king and I've been a fool. I'm not about to give enough yet." Maybe Nathan wasn't ready to give up. But I am. There has been so much heartache through all of this and without him maybe I'm better off.
"Ive had enough of the promises. I've had enough of the empty threats. Some people wait for opportunity. Why should I wait? I haven't yet."
Nathan "Days away"-Ideas
"I had these great ideas. And I dont think they're ever coming back. And even when the words run out I try and argue. If this is your last goodbyue I'll never know." The moment she opened her eyes all of the fear went away. And then she told me she was done. I can't believe it. The love of my life is falling right out of my hands. She doesn't want to be with me anymore. What am I going to do?
Haley had a baby inside her stomach. And it's not just hers its mine. But she wants me to go. She doesnt want me to be in her life? What can I possibley do? I could leave tomorrow and let everything go. Or I could sit here and try and make this right. "Now you got me thinking I'm amazing. Cause I built this all on my own. Go on tell me what you think before you fake it. And I might believe you. This isn't us. This isn't how it used to be. Now we're just wasting our time."
When all of this is over. I hope that everything is better. Because lately everything has been so bad. I love her. I love her with all of my heart and she just wants to give up. Then there is Lucas, and Peyton, and hell, even Brooke. They're all so heartbroken. We're all heartbroken. When are the happy times going to come back to us? When?
I close the door to my bedroom and lay in the bed where Haley sleeps next to me. This is the last time I smell the scent. Because tomorrow, I'll be gone.