A/N this is on based on the last show 1-12-12. My friend Ashley came up with the title

I watched the only man I'd ever love walking out that door with suitcase in hand. I know we both were in love because what happened our last time together. He walked the door we were till joined hand and hand, when we pulled apart my heart broke and I felt sick. He said he would write everyday. I went into my empty roomturning off the light and I just cried myself to sleep thinking about the first time we all met

The first time everyone met

I remember when he first walked through that door having no idea that I'd fall in love. When I unpacking he walked in the room looking up at introducing himself.

"Hi I'm Vinny I guess we'll be roommates. What your name."

"Pauly D." I could tell in his eyes he smitten too so we shot each other smiles and put our stuff away. My heart couldn't stop beating fast I plan to see I was nervous and sweating.

"You feeling ok. You look like you're not feeling well."

"It's hot in here. I'm fine." I had on a wife beater and shorts I knew I couldn't be hot. He dressed like me. In my mind I wanted throw Vinny down on the bed kissing him long and good while pulling off his clothes. I also wondered what he'd look like naked. The other guys Mike and Ronnie wondered I wasn't in love with the girls like "damn"

2 days later

All the guys were making breakfast getting plates Vinny and I touched hands and just smiled and blushed then we deiced to run outside. We sat on a chair and held hands it was great we didn't talk we just leaded into each other. When Sammi came out Vinny moved to a single chair playing it off. I was blushing a little hard.

"What going on out here."

"We're just chilling getting some sun." I was scared I didn't want Sammi to see my boner so I folded my hands over my front of pants.

"Cool."

"We'll be in soon." Vinny could see my boner so took of our pants and got in the hot tub and fixed my little problem. God he was great with his lips then he kissed me just a quick peck and we went back inside. I knew I wanted more times like that. I wonder what it'd feel like when we kissing with tongue. Everyone wanted hang together but all I wanted was spend time alone with Vinny. When they left we just talked.

"I like being close to you. So did you like what I did you?"

"Yes of course I couldn't it you just too cute." That was about the time Vinny leaned into me kissing my lips so we on the couch making out. I loved how Vinny put his hand up my shirt. I wanted to fuck him right there. But couldn't I want to wait I liked him way too much. I knew I was gay for a while but Vinny was the first guy I fell for.

A year later

We still partied when we the clubs with everyone but near looked up because we together and chose to not tell anyone our little serest. Remember one night Vinny crawled into my bed he said he didn't feel and just me to hold him tight. The next day Snooki saw us in the same bed.

"Why you guys in the same bed."

"Vinny felt sick and wanted be next to me in case he got sick." When she left the room Vinny turned me shoving his tongue down my throat that made me hot. I didn't know that girls were talking about us.

"Jenni I walked out in on Vinny and Pauly in bed together. I have the feeling that something was up."

"Like what."

"I don't know maybe their dating."

"Really." The girls just laughed at the idea of them being gay in a love. We were kissing with the door open when I just stopped.

"Why did you stop?"

"I thought that Mike could see. I didn't want him to see because he's tell he's such a asshole"

"I understand baby" OMG he called me baby he really loves even thought don't say it yet. I gave him a kiss before he left the room to let me get dressed. I wanted him to see him naked. later in the club we got some drinks and went off to be alone we found an empty room. He pulled me down on the couch kissing my lips moving to my neck. I started to get hot and my jeans were getting tight. Vinny moved his hand in between my legs touching hard cock through my jeans

"You want me to make you feel good."

"Yeah I do."

"Take off your pants." I took of my shorts Vinny put his hand down my boxers jerking me off. He started to kiss me but stopped to moan out in pleasure. I could tell he was hard too so I reached my hand down his pants. I took his pants off getting down on my knee and I was giving him head. After it as all over Vinny put his arms around me holding me tight and just held hands. 5 minutes later we heard Sammi saying to me to go. We didn't care we walked holding hands. Everyone looked at us with a weird look.

"Why you two holding hands what you like each other."

"Shut up Mike. I'm not telling you even if it was true." We when got home I was tired so I went to bed Vinny followed me crawling into with me bed. As we laying in bed we could hear Mike talking about us.

"I can't believe Vinny and Pauly were holding hands. I wonder why they were doing in the club. They say they're not going out. But no man would hold another man's hand innless they were going out. I heard Snooki telling him come on if there we would have seen something. In the bedroom Vinny turned to me looking me in the eyes."

"I believe him. I don't care don't care if they talk. All I want is you. I won't leave you if they find out." He kissed me moving his hand down near my boxers just as I heard a knock on the door

"Pauly it Mike we need to talk.

"I'm really tired so I don't want talk." Vinny was making me feel good I wanted to moan out in pleasure but I couldn't so I said "oh babe" quietly

"You like that want to use my month to make feel ever better."

"You know I want baby." Vinny moved himself down and I could feel his lips touch my cock and I twitched in pleasure after he was one we went to sleep.

One night at club

We went to the club together slip on drinks having fun. I took Vinny to the dance floor and got lost in the dance soon we were dancing and making out. We didn't know everyone in the house was watching in shocked we were kissing. You could see our tongues dancing together. Vinny started grinding against me which was making me hard. Soon we went back to the room in the club and had some fun. When Vinny and I left everything started to talk about what they just saw.

"Wow they're gay and into each other. I can't believe it."

"Me either I wouldn't it believed it if didn't just see with my own eyes. They're really like each other." I didn't know that Mike had started a fight and everyone had to go as we were having. Vinny was massage me downstairs as I heard footsteps Snooki walked us before we walked hid everything it all out in the open.

"What's wrong?

"We have to go Mike got us kicked out." I could tell by her eyes she's shocked I was scared she'd tell.

"You won't tell what you saw."

"No that is your business."

"Thank you." We when got in cab we went to the back to finish the job. My body was hot I wanted to twitched but I just sat there. Jenni could tell something was up and turned to us.

"What's going on?"

"Yeah everything is fine." I noticed that I was sweating hoping she wouldn't ask why. After he finished put my head on his chest and him just held me

"Do you feel ok?"

"Maybe a little drunk felling a little sick." I lied that would the best answer to that question. I figured they knew I little bit about us but I know what they to know all that had been up. I started to kiss Vinny I didn't care they knew but I loved the taste of his kiss. Soon I had my hand down his pants I started to suck it nice and good. Right as about to finish Ronnie look over at Vinny with a weird look.

"What is going on?"

"Nothing why you ask."

"You were acting weirdly."

"I'm just tried." When they got the house Snooki pulled Vinny aside to talk.

"We need to talk."

"About what."

"What happened tonight?"

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"So how long have you too be together."

"Since the second day we were in the house."

"So you must really like him."

"Yeah I love him with all heart." Mike tried to talk to me I thought I'd talk to him.

"Pauly I saw your little show tonight. I didn't know you were into Vinny or guys."

"Yeah I like Vinny. Why do you care about who I like?"

"I just wanted to why you kissing Vinny like that."

"Yeah I kissing Vinny so what."

"I thought you were into girls. What would explain why you never took a girl room every time you went to the club?"

"Listen I don't want to talk about this. I'm going into my room stop being so nosey and into my relationship."

"Don't be like that I just wanted to know."

"You ruined Sammi and Ronnie's and I'm not gonna let you do that too me." I slammed the door in his face I wanted to change and get into bed. Mike made me mad. When I heard a knock at the door I know it was Vinny. I could hear Mike talking to Ronnie.

"Pauly got mad at me because asked him if he was dating Vinny."

"I can understand. When we were riding home I swear Vinny was getting pleasured in the back."

"That is nasty man."

"I still can't believe Vinny and Pauly are a couple. I thought that Vinny and Snooki would get together." Vinny looked at me and could tell I was mad."

"What is wrong baby?"

"Mike was being nosey about us. I told him to stay out of it. Mike just wants to make trouble"

"Don't worry about it baby. I'll shut him up for you." He started to kiss me nice and show and made me forget about Mike. Soon I was on up of Vinny making out there was on the door.

"Go away we're busy."

"Can we talk?" It was Ronnie but I still didn't wanna talk. Why did everyone in house wanna know about your relationship?

"Guys can we talk for only 5 minutes."

"I'm busy. I don't want talk." I was mad about to scream or start a fight. Vinny could see in my eyes.

"It was gonna come out one day. I don't care let them talk either. But who cares baby." I was listening to Ronnie and Mike talk again.

"Mike I would lay off of him. Pauly is made and sounds like ready to fight."

"So what he won't don't it. I wanna know what's going with him. Since tonight was a shocker."

1-12-12

We had been together for almost 3 years and I just found out he's leaving to be close to with his family. We were the only ones in the house.

"Vinny I don't want you to go. I love you so much to let you go."

"I love you too don't worry I'll write you everyday. I'll still be your boyfriend." Looking into sexy brown eyes I could see the pain.

"Make love to me tonight." Vinny grabbed my hand and pulled n the book where he pulled my pants off. I pulled off his pants while were kissing and soon we were naked.

"You sure you want this babe."

"Yes I do baby." When I felt Vinny's cock inside of I moaned in pleasure. Our hips rocked back and forth while we were kissing. This was the moment I wanted for years. 10 minutes I cumed and I was out of breath smiling at him.

"That was amazing baby. You were so good."

"Pauly it's your turn to make love to me."

"Of course." I can't believe I was fucking Vinny. I loved my cock inside of him that made him felt good. After everything was over we lay in each others arms.

"Baby please don't go stay here with me."

"I want to you know that. Babe but I sometime be with my family and be alone. It's nothing to do with you."

"I know that baby. "1 hour later he was done packing and came downstairs with his suitcases and called the cab. Before the cab got there we went in for long tongue kiss and hugs.

"Bye baby. I love you."

"Bye I love you too baby." The next day I was still in bed and upset." Deanna came in to talk to me.

"I'm sorry. Pauly come down and have breakfast with us."

"I'm not hungry." I decided to come and chill with everyone. I looked like a mess when I got to the table to I put my head down trying not to cry.

"We're all sorry that Vinny went away." Mike started to talk to me.

"After this we can to club and get a guy to take come and get your mind off of him."

"Shut up Mike."

"Come get drunk and have one night stand." I was upset and now I was mad I walked away.

"Wait a go Mike we trying to cheer him up." When everyone left I called Vinny.

"Hey baby I miss you."

"I miss you babe. I love you so much. I'm still sorry I had to leave you. I haven't stop thing about last night and you."

"I love you too. Come back soon. I need you." I understand don't worry." We wrote to each other every day for a month but one day the letters stopped. I wondered why I wrote him a asking why

Dear Vinny,

It is been weeks since I got a letter from you. I really miss you. I hope everything is ok with you. I love you so much. It's hard here without you. I keep waiting for you baby. I hope you write me back soon.

Love

Pauly xoxo

I thought by 2 days I there would be a letter from him but nothing. I called his cell phone but no answer. I started to wonder. I left a message on his phone: hey baby its Pauly I'm just wondering where you are if everything ok with you. I love you when you get this call me back. That night I went to the club and just drank and got drunk. I got on the dance floor and just dance I found a guy we to talking.

"Hey I'm Pauly and you are."

"I'm Zach." We got to kissing and I felt something I was happy. In the middle of dancing I felt the room spin.

"Zach we need to go I don't feel well."

"Sure Pauly." We told Snooki I was going home. Before we made inside I got sick for awhile. When we got to the bedroom we started kissing soon we were having sex. The next day I woke up feeling so sick. I wondered who was in the bed with me. Zach turned to me kissing me.

"Last night was great." I felt two types of sick. I knew I was gonna throw up and sick for having sex with a random man that wasn't Vinny. As I was in the bathroom getting sick my phone ran it was Vinny.

"Hey baby."

"Hey babe. Sorry we haven't talked I've been real busy. I missed you terribly. I love you."

"I love you."

"You sound a little funny what a matter."

"I got drunk last night and don't feel well." I couldn't tell him about Zach.

"Feel better hunny you want me to go."

"No. when you coming back."

"Soon don't worry. I was thinking maybe in a month."

"I'm so happy."

"I have to go babe. Bye babe I love you."

"I love you too." Right after that Mike walked by the bathroom door.

"What did you tell lover boy about last night."

"Just that I got drunk."

"You gonna tell him you got drunk and fucking someone else."

"Shut up Mike I'm not the mood."

"You gonna tell Zach that you got a man and you used him to feel better."

"Fuck you."

"You did it not me." Punched Mike right in the face I got on of him just beating the shit out of him. Ronnie had to pull me of him. Zach came out looking at me.

"You ok. What happened?"

"He got on my bad side." Zach kissed me pulled into him and that felt good.

"I know we met in a club but I wanna get you because I really like you."

"When you feel better I wanna take you out on a date."

"I'd like that." I went to bed and Zach just held me tight. In the bathroom Mile was looking at his bruised face and blacken eye and his nose was still bloody. Everyone was talking about how beat up Mike.

Staten Island month later

I decide to see Vinny since it been 5 months since he moved out of I was thinking he would be glad to see me. I knocked on the door but his mom said he wasn't home. I saw him come out the house next door.

"Hey baby." Vinny turned around shocked to see me here.

"What you doing here?"

"I missed you so much I thought I'd come and see you. He kissed me holding me tight. I felt bad to being with Zach now for a month.

"Wanna go and have some fun again." By that time I could my jeans getting tighter. Vinny grabbed my hand pulling me towards my car and we got in the back. Vinny was massaging my cock through my pants. Then he pulled of my pants and underwear. He grabbed my cock and jerked me off.

"Oh Vinny harder."

"I'm glad I'm making you feel better." Soon I cumed and I noticed Vinny was hard so I jerked him off too. After it all done we got to talking.

"So what is new at the house?"

"I beat up Mike for being a nosey jerk. Everyone misses you." I couldn't tell me about him but Zach and now were now a couple.

"I miss them too. I'm glad you finally shut Mike up." Soon my phone rang it was Zach

"Hey hunny what's up."

"I came to the house and Jenni said you were gone."

"Sorry I went to see a friend. I'll be back soon and then we'll go out." Vinny turned to me

"Who was that?"

"A friend baby."

"Listen baby I have to go babe I'll call you later. I love you."

He gave me kiss on the lips and left. I was so happy to I saw him and we had some fun. When I got home Zach was waiting for me. He ran up to me kissing me.

"I missed you. Hunny I'm glad your back."

"I missed you." I was torn between two lovers I knew when Vinny came back I would have to chose