Lucy's P.O.V.
It was burned in my mind—the image of a guy and girl, holding hands looking like a happy couple. The said guy had black hair locks that complimented his skin tone. He had eyes that were so deep that you could get lost in them forever. And his lips… looked so pink and soft. I was craving to feel them with my fingers. All in all, his face was as just of as an angel's. The young man's features were perfect; even his body. Funny thing though, he wasn't wearing any shirt. But I'm NOT complaining at all! He looked so HOT! Although, it was such an irony that he was an ice mage. I stifled a laugh…
…
It bothered me though... Why was he smiling with that girl? Why was he wearing that smile that could sweep me off my feet? It bothered me that he looked… genuinely happy in somebody else's arms.
I stopped dead on my tracks looking down on the ground… only to realize that I was here again- the place I always ended up going to every time something feels wrong… every time something feels out of my reach. Honestly, I didn't know what makes me lead to go here. It was like my feet have its own mind. And it felt like my heart belongs here… I was starting to get scared. I've been finding myself here more often nowadays.
Slowly lifting my head up, I gazed at my surroundings… It was beautiful yet, sad at the same time. It was a rose garden; the best rose garden I've ever seen to be honest. The flowers and leaves were all in the right places. The bushes were cut into shape and each one of them was draped in roses-white roses to be specific. Maybe that was what made the garden look so sorrowful—the white roses.
I continued walking, knowing that there was going to be a garden swing set just around the corner. I dragged my feet slowly to the set. Just when I was about to make my way on the swing, I noticed something odd beneath the white roses. I walked closer to the bushes making sure that I was really seeing the right thing. Standing right close to it made my eyes widen in shock. It really was a blue rose!
I doubtfully reached out my hand to touch it. I could even see my hands trembling. Taking a huge breath in, I calmed myself. Then… I touched it with my fingers. My fingers were gliding on it carefully. It felt fragile in my hands; just like if you touched it, it would end broken apart. I moved my fingers smoothly on its petals. It felt so soft and smooth just like… his hair... I gently moved my hands to my side. I didn't want to do anything that reminded me of him. I just stood there, forgetting him and admiring the blue rose's beauty. It was a mystery how this beautiful rose ended up here in a white rose garden. And to make things more mysterious, blue roses don't grow in nature. It really stood out among the others. It made me appreciate its enigmatic beauty. It was mysterious… yet extraordinary at the same time! And also… unattainable.
…
Yet again, it reminded me of him…
…
His whole personality is a mystery. He would always act cool and aloof all the time, appearing like he didn't care about anything or anyone. Yet he was still able to show such affection to our guildmates in spite of his unemotional appearance. I couldn't even tell if he even notices me. Sure we talked sometimes but I still felt like a mere acquaintance to him. There are times where he would act like my friend but most of the time he acted like a plain groupmate. And there was the entire Gemini-turned-into-him moment that made his actions more confusing. Well according to Gemini, his opinions of me were that I am a newcomer to the guild, my looks are very much to his liking and is somewhat interested in me. Somewhat interested in me? What was that supposed to mean? Didn't he have another girl? It was just so hard to read him! He was so enigmatic! And it was driving me crazy!
And even though he made me mad with his mixed signals, I still found myself crazy for him. He was just so extraordinary. He was amazing to be exact! I'm not just talking about his looks; I'm also talking about how he was always there in each and every predicament I ever had. He was always there fighting, mourning and laughing beside me. And each time I was near his presence, it would make me feel safe and secure. I just knew that I could always count on him. I depended on him like he was my superhero but instead of having weird catchphrases like 'Not the face! Not the face!', he would always say something from the heart. 'Life and death aren't the only two possible outcomes of conflict, right? You should all live your lives more positively' was what he said to Kageyama when he was being asked to kill him (Kageyama). I knew by then that he was amazingly… extraordinary.
But no matter how much I admired him, I knew he was out of my reach. He was unattainable… And it was all because of her. I never got it... What did she have that I didn't have? This all contradicted to what Gemini said. They completely stated that he was interested in me and that he found me pretty damn cute. In love stories, we would already be going out on our first date by the beach where I would get my first passionate, knees wobbling kiss. But I guess… those were just in the movies. Where did I go wrong? Wasn't I enough for him? Why wasn't he able to love me?
Maybe we were just not meant to be...
I felt something drop on my nose. It was cold and wet at the same time. I touched it and realized it was snow. I looked into the stars watching how snow slowly fell from the sky. It looked so wonderful. It colored the skies gracefully. Spreading out my arms, I closed my eyes and felt the snow falling on my skin. It felt icy yet nice altogether. It was sort of… a combination of him and her—ice and water, forming something so… beautiful. Maybe there love was just as beautiful…
I didn't want to think of it! I didn't want to accept it! I just want time to stop! I want everything to stop! I want to go wild for just a second! But instead… I found myself frozen in place. I just stood there motionless, trying to get rid of these thoughts. All of a sudden, I recognized Loke's presence around me. I opened my eyes and gave him a huge warm smile.
"Look, it's snowing. Isn't it great?" I told him with a sincere smile on my face.
"You're such a bad liar, Lucy." Loke stated with a straight face.
"Wah? What are you saying—" I tried to play him off. I completely knew what he meant. I just didn't want to break down in front him.
"You can cry in front me of me, you know." I didn't know what happened by then but tears started to slowly ran down my eyes. I quickly ran into his arms and cry my eyes out. I just snapped then and there.
Tears were continuously falling from my eyes. I couldn't hold back anymore. The walls I built up for years, trying to protect myself from feeling any hurt or pain quickly crashed down in a second. It was the wall that prevented me from crying and feeling any reject. I thought I was already immune to any kind of hurt but there I was—crying so hard in Loke's arms. I felt him lift me up from the ground and carried me, bridal style. I buried my face in his neck, still crying. Wails and whimpers were coming from my lips.
"Sh-h. I got you. Everything's gonna be alright." Loke comforted me. He sat down on the swing set, letting me sit on his lap. I mindlessly wrapped my arms around his neck and cried on his chest. One of his arms was on my back running up and down while the other one stroked my hair. It made me feel so safe and secure. These were the two things that I wanted to feel from 'the guy who should not be named'.
It was just not fair. I loved him with all my heart. I did everything in my power to help him when he was down. I was always there for him—loving and caring. I was there knowing all of his secrets and his past. I took the time to know everything about him. I loved him so much! I just wanted to be acknowledged by him. But he never did. He found someone else. And it hurt so badly. I tried to lock my feelings away but I couldn't stop loving him. He was like the whole world to me. And I was… nothing to him… nothing—just nothing.
…
I wondered what it felt to be loved. I bet she was really happy with him. They were water and ice after all; always complimented each other. They were beautiful together. And I couldn't stand it. I didn't want to face the fact that I was the fire to their snow. But most of all, I was the fire to his ice. We could never be together. I was not worth of his presence.
I cried harder as Loke brought me closer to his body.
"You can tell me about it." Loke said with such comfort. I couldn't help but look at him in the eyes while I removed the tears on my face with my hands.
"I'm fire! She's water! And he's ice! They fit each other while I and he are in contrast!"
"Uh... Lucy, I don't really know what you're saying right now. So… can you elaborate it for me, princess?" Loke used my favorite endearment that Virgo would always use.
"I just- love him so much a-and it hurts when I s-see them toge-ther…" I replied while still sobbing.
"Oh…" Loke was afraid to say anything else… I could tell. He was speechless. He was afraid that he would say the wrong words.
"It's not fair, Loke! I saw him first! He should be mine…"
"Are you sure about that? If we're talking about who sees who first then, wouldn't you be Natsu's? Or worse… you might end up with Happy." Loke smiled at me. I laughed making me kinda choke while I cried.
"I'm being serious…" I said even though I was smiling goofily.
"Okay… Okay… Serious." Loke acted all serious like.
"I feel like I'm nothing to him." I rested my head on his chest.
"Hey look at me…" I hesitantly looked at Loke. He removed the tears from my face making me stop from crying but I knew that my eyes still showed that I did.
"I can't tell Gray's feelings because I promised him I won't interfere but I can tell you this… you're anything but nothing to him." Loke didn't expect me to hug him so tight. He was so shocked yet, he returned the hug so quickly.
"You're the best, Loke… I love you, you know that right?" Loke held me tauter.
"Yeah... I know. But I love you more." I got free from the hug and looked into his eyes. It showed his true feelings, love—loving someone also unattainable... out of reach. I couldn't help but feel pity to him. I was in the same predicament. I felt tears forming in my eyes again.
"I wish I could've fallen in l-love with you inst-tead…" My voice started cracking. I was in the verge of tears again. Loke loved me as much as I loved the other guy. He was feeling what I was feeling. I couldn't help but blame myself for it. I wanted to love Loke instead of him! Everybody would win that way!
"Hey… Don't cry. Knowing that I could always be by your side is enough for me. Besides I'm your knight in shining armor." He winked at me.
Loke gave one of his charming smiles. Not knowing it, I was smiling myself. Out of nowhere, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. When I met his eyes, I blushed ten shades of red. Seeing his shocked face only made me more embarrass. Soon, his facial features turned into a warm smile. He removed his eyeglasses from his eyes then put them into mine. I blinked a few times.
"Wah?" I stared at him. He gazed at me.
A comfortable silence passed between us.
"Lucy?" I heard a manly voice say—a voice that was, oh, so familiar with me. I was scared to look but I still did. There he was, with all his perfect appearance. And he was… with her. They were both holding hands. I looked down on my lap feeling low, only to realize that Loke's hands were around me; I was wearing his glasses AND I was on his lap.
"Lucy didn't tell Juvia that Loke and Lucy are dating!" She fumed. I looked at her horrifically.
"No! NO! This is not what you think!" I said in my defense.
Surprisingly, Loke moved his face closer to mine. He began whispering.
"I'll give the both of you time to talk."
Loke lifted me up from his lap and made me sit on the swing all by myself. It felt big by then. I felt lonely. He stood up wearing a sad smile on his face. I didn't want him to leave. I wouldn't know what to do without him. I wouldn't know how I'll handle things with him. He turned around and was just about to leave. I didn't know what to do so I panicky grasped his hand.
"Loke, please stay. I'm not asking you as your master but as your friend." He turned around carefully ungrasping my hand from his. He reached out his hands looking like he was just about to touch my face. I froze into my place. But thankfully he reached out for his eyeglasses. He wore them haughtily and smirked.
"And as your friend, I'm leaving you." I was speechless. I just watched him walk further away and leave with her. Soon, there was no sight of them. It was just me and him.
I gulped and looked at anywhere but him. I avoided his gaze but I know he was staring at me. I could feel it and it was like he was trying to burn holes throughout my body with his stares. I was getting nervous. He was just staring. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to behave around him anymore.
I heard his footsteps grew closer to me. In a little while, I felt the swing move back and forth. He sat on the other end. I sat further away from him. I moved until my hips touched the metal end of the swing. An awkward silence filled the place. Only the rustling of leaves could be heard and of course, my heartbeat. It was beating so fast and loud that I was afraid that he could hear it. I clenched my right hand on my heart. I breathed in and then out, trying to calm myself. He just brought so many emotions in me. Just few hours back, I was mad at him. Then, I was mad at myself. Then, I was hurt. And now… he made me feel like a little girl who met a prince or better yet, Cosmo from the Fairly Odd Parents. (A/N: Don't even ask me why I put Cosmo in here. I won't be able to give you any answers.) But Cosmo was so much better than him. Cosmo would always make me laugh my heart out while he… on the other hand, would make me cry so hard. But didn't Cosmo have Wanda? I outwardly sighed. I couldn't even have Cosmo. I'm so-
"Is everything alright?" He bothered me from my thoughts. I craned my neck to look at him. We were so close yet so far. I stopped looking at him and stared at the sky. It was still snowing. I outwardly sighed blanking my thoughts. It calmed me down so far.
"Yeah… I was just thinking of Cosmo…"
"What? Who the hell is Cosmo?" My eyes widened in realization. I stared at him in horror. I didn't mean to say that out loud! Mentally slapping myself, I gave him a crooked smile.
"No one! He's no one!" I shouted panicky. It sorta took him by surprise. I groaned at myself for acting so stupid. I barely talked to the guy and when I got the chance, I said something stupid. Unexpectedly, he laughed his heart out. He was clutching his stomach as his one hand drew me closer to him. He wrapped his one arm around my shoulders then ruffled my hair. I just sat there in shock.
"It's Cosmo from the Fairly Oddparents, right?" He exclaimed while still laughing. He let go of my shoulders and rested his arm on the back of the swing. I stared at him… I couldn't help but smile. I gave him a nod which made him laugh louder. And within a snap all the things that I've been thinking were forgotten. I discarded my feelings and just enjoyed this moment with him.
"I missed hanging out with you." He looked at me with his onyx eyes. It made me blush and I didn't even know why. I just stared back at him smiling.
"Yeah… me too. I guess we have been both so busy."
"So busy that I haven't been there for you… Heck, I don't even know why you cried." He broke his stare at me. He ran his hand through his hair because of frustration.
"No it's not—" I at least tried to comfort him.
"You don't understand, Lucy! I promised myself that I would always be there for you! Tha-that I would be the one protecting you and making you laugh!" He looked so angry by then—angry at himself… for not being there for me.
"Gray…" Mindlessly, I gave him a hug to comfort him. I couldn't say anything to him. I just couldn't lie to him and say that he was there for me when I haven't felt that he even noticed me. And I couldn't say what he said was totally right but one thing is for sure—I felt totally smitten with the words he said. And as expected, he returned my hug shortly.
"Gray…"
"Hm?" He let go off me and looked into my eyes.
"Can we sit back to back?" I asked him shyly. Staring at him, I found him blinking his eyes in confusion but then, he gave me warm smile.
"Sure." He exclaimed while he prompt himself into position. He turned his back on me as he lifted his legs from the ground and then rested them on the swing with his knees bent.
"What are you waiting for?" I didn't need to be told twice. I quickly turned my body to face the other way so I could rest my body on him. Soon enough, we were sitting back to back.
"This is nice."
"Hmm… I've always wanted to do this." with you
Silence passed between us but neither of us tried to break it. We were just both enjoying each other's company. But then I've noticed that he was warm for an ice mage. I imagined him to feel cold but he showed me otherwise.
"You're warm for an ice mage." I babbled. And I waited for his reply. I was anxious. I couldn't see his face. Maybe he was blushing or maybe he fell asleep! Few more seconds and I've had had it! I moved my head about to look at him when he began speaking.
"And you're sorta heavy for a girl." My eyes widened in shock. Did he just say that I was fat?
"Did you stop dieting?" That was it! I screamed on top of my lungs. Then, I tried to move my body so my weight wouldn't be of burden to him. Perceiving a chuckle, I stopped from my ministrations.
"I was just kidding."
"Oh." I leaned back on him and decided to joke around some more.
"When I was a kid I imagined my prince to have beautiful onyx eyes and a dark jet black hair." Honestly, I imagined my prince to look somewhat like Freed but having a blonde hair instead of a green hair.
"That sounds just like me. So am I your prince?" I knew he got it that I was joking. I could hear the amusement in his voice.
"I thought so at first."
"At first? What happened?" He continued playing along.
"Oh! You stripped right in front of me." I laughed.
"What? You didn't like what you saw?" I could imagine him smirking.
"Are you kidding me? I was traumatized!" Laughs echoed between us. But it soon died down. And when I said traumatized I meant that I was traumatized that I wouldn't be able to see another body like his ever again. He was just so hot! His hard toned muscles—
"Well, I'm sure you're prince is out there somewhere." He cut me from my thoughts. Sincerity was all over his voice and I couldn't help but smile to myself.
"Yeah… He just got lost. He's kinda an idiot." I chuckled inwardly.
Then, we kept talking about random stuff … well, until we reached that topic that is.
"I heard that they're going to have a man-made beach near our guild. Maybe we could go there sometime." He said.
"That would be great! uuuhhhh… Speaking of water… how are things with Juvia?"
"Fine." I sensed a little bit of coldness in his voice. Maybe things weren't going well with her. I decided not to push things further anymore.
The wind was slowly swinging us back and forth as the leaves were rustling making music for us. It became my lullaby right then. I started to feel sleepy. And this was all because I cried. I yawned and stretched my arms and legs. But I still didn't want to sleep though. It was all just reflex. Plus, I still wanted to talk to him.
"Gray…"
"Yeah?"
"Keep talking to me. I don't want to fall asleep." I stated while yawning.
"About?" He sounded so sweet. His voice became everything to me. I closed my eyes focusing on his sweet yet manly voice.
"Anything."
"Anything?" He asked as if he was making sure that he could ask anything.
"Yeah…" I replied groggily.
"You were crying because of a boy, right?"
"Wah—How did you know?" My heart started beating faster. Was he seeing right through me? I could feel my face getting red. Good thing that we were sitting back to back though. I fiddled with my hands as I looked down on the floor. At least, I wasn't sleepy anymore.
"I've been observing…" I didn't know what to say. I was completely speechless. He was on to me.
…
"It's Natsu, isn't it?"
"WHAT?" I turned around without thinking. My eyes went wide as he suddenly fell down on my lap. My hands quickly went to my heart. I could feel it beating faster. Furthermore, he wasn't trying to get up. He just stayed there looking at me with his onyx eyes. I blushed harder.
"Loke?" I shook my head avoiding his gaze. He slowly lifted himself up sitting right next to me. I suddenly gained my confidence back, a smirk forming on my face. If he wanted to know so bad then, I would admit it to him.
"It's you, silly!" I stated in a sarcastic tone even though it was sort of a confession. I moved closer to him pressing my body to his.
"Oh… Then, I guess I should make up with you then." I was startled with his words.
He surprisingly moved his face closer to mine as if trying to kiss my lips. Then, closer. My eyes closed to its own accord as I shyly parted my lips waiting for the kiss. I waited and waited. Then, I felt it… the kiss… on my freakin' FOREHEAD! Gosh! I felt so stupid! My eyes opened as his lips lingered on my forehead. It still felt very nice even though it wasn't the kiss that I was expecting. Then, he cupped my face and looked into my eyes. I stared back wishing that there was more to this than a simple kiss on the forehead. But I knew… it was impossible.
"We gotta stop with this joke… Now, tell me who the guy is. I… I care for you, Lucy." I touched his hands on my face and removed it. Then, passionately clasped them in mine. I knew he cared. We were friends after all but that was it. No more. No less. He just cared because I was a nakama—just a plain nakama.
"It's fine. Loke talked to me so everything's good." I didn't want to remind myself that he wasn't mine and he never would be. It would just make me break down in front of him and I wouldn't want that to happen. Unpleasantly, he removed his hands from my grasp with such force. I tried to at least read him but I couldn't. He was covering his eyes with his hair and was looking down on the ground.
"So Loke can know about this but I can't! That seems totally fair!" He somewhat shouted.
I couldn't believe this guy. He had the nerve to raise his tone at me when all of my problems were him and his stupid girlfriend all along! I quickly stood up, walked away from him and then turned around to face him. With the top of my lungs, I shouted at him. Tears started forming in my eyes.
"BAKA! HOW COULD I TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE ALWAYS WITH HER?"
Rapidly, I turned around and ran away from him. But all of a sudden two strong arms wrapped themselves around my body, preventing me from going anywhere. My eyes widen in realization. He was hugging me from the back. I didn't understand it though. I didn't fight back. I didn't shout for my release. All I could do was cry and feel his body against mine. This was all too much. I was so confused. I didn't know what to do anymore. Without even thinking, I turned myself around wrapping my arms around his neck. I pressed my body closer to his wanting to feel more of his warmth. I wanted to feel safe and secure in his arms. He hugged me tighter.
"I—I'm… sorry, Lucy."
"BAKA! BAKA BAKA!" I cried on his shirt.
"Hey… you can call me anything you want but… you can't stop me… from caring about you. Lucy… please remember that… I'd always be there for you… I mean it- ALWAYS" Sincerity could be heard in his voice. But it wasn't enough for me…
Gray… I needed you back then… I need you right now… and… I will need you in the future. But you weren't there… aren't here… and… I am sure you never will be there for me… And it was all because you have her…
Wooohhhoooo! Done with the sequel! I'm currently working on another one shot and my non-one shot story. My one shot would be on chapter 275 so I'd be publishing that first. I felt so stupid by being trolled by Mashima.. xD My heart broke. But it was still a nice GrayLu scene. It's on 275 pg. 5-8.
Thanks for reading by the way! And please rate and review!