So this is shorter than usual and it's just this one chapter. I was just in a not-so-happy mood and the thought came to my head. I also thought that maybe there's a reason Belarus acts the way she does.
Warning: Character death and human names used. Don't like, don't read.
This was it. This was finally it. Tears streamed down the pale, ice cold, soft cheeks of the usually, but not today, strong Belarusian woman. She had finally been driven to the end of her strings. She no longer could hold the tears back and keep her head up high. This was it. This was the day she'd been fearing the most her entire life.
She wondered what was worse; was it that she was really going to do it, or was it that no one would care or miss her?
She quickly rethought that. Her sister would miss her, but she would be the only one. She would care because she was a soft hearted woman who loved everyone she met. She was kind, and she was, most likely, the only person in the entire world who cared about Natalya.
Natalya had never really thought of herself as crazy or too forward, but that was what everyone else saw her as. She couldn't understand why though. The only person she'd ever really been straight forward with was her brother, and that was because she loved him so much.
She loved her brother. He was everything to her. All she wanted was for her brother to notice her and accept her. He spent so much time with his other friends that she grew jealous. She was angry at her inability to catch his attention. She was fuming at her inability to get praise from him. She was irate at her inability to be just noticed by him.
Was that so much? Was it just so bad that she wanted her older brother to see her? When he ignored her, when he didn't see her, she grew angrier and sadder each time. She hated it. She felt weak because of it. She created a cover up to save herself. She created a new person, a mask that she wore each and every day, and, for some time, it managed to save her.
She pretended she was strong. She pretended that she feared nothing. She carried weapons at all times. She had quickly learned that just the sight of the weapons struck fear into the hearts of others. She never needed to use them.
Her face became twisted with this constant look of hatred and anger. That too assisted her in striking fear into others. But she soon noticed something. She noticed that it drove her brother further away from her. Even though she had never had friends before, even though she had already been alone all her life so far, she found herself slowly being pushed further and further away from others.
She grew more aggressive as a result. Why was this? Why did they ignore her? Why did they leave her? Why was she always alone? She was filled with rage, and she grew to want her older brother to acknowledge her more than a sister or friend, but as a lover. She deserved that much, didn't she? She worked so hard only to be shut down day after day, and night after night!
Yes! She was sure she deserved that much! He put her in this state of loneliness. It was because of Ivan that she was forced to be alone.
That was how she saw it. She thought she was always alone. She never noticed her sister was worried about her. She never thought that her sister noticed what was happening or cared. She was mad at her sister too, after all.
Her sister never tried to bring it up or speak with her. Katyusha never approached Natalya and tried to help her. Katyusha too had become very afraid of the growing monster of rage her sister had become.
Katyusha would watch her sister try to get to Ivan from a distance. There would be tears in her eyes. Her sister was better than this. She was strong, but not physically. She used to be able to overcome the loneliness. When did it all change? Why did it change? Surely her lovely little sister was worth more than everyone thought she was. She wasn't the monster she pretended to be; she just couldn't be.
Natalya didn't know this, for how could she, but Katyusha was always secretly watching her from somewhere. The days where Natalya just couldn't get out of bed for fear of being rejected and so she cried, Katyusha watched. The days where Natalya was just ready to rip off everyone's head to be noticed, Katyusha watched. The days that Natalya just wished never happened, Katyusha watched. Katyusha watched all of it, trying to work up the courage to speak to her younger sister like they used to. She wanted to be there for Natalya, she wanted to hug her and tell her that it was going to be okay. She wanted to tell Natalya that, even on the days that she just cried her dying heart out, she was the prettiest girl out there, but she was afraid.
Katyusha was afraid that Natalya would turn on her. She was afraid that she'd somehow offend her sister, and as a result, her sister would turn on her and harm her with the knives she had.
So, Natalya only got lonelier. The blonde was forced to go each day without a shoulder to cry on, without a friend to be with, without a single compliment or praise. She cried herself to sleep all alone many nights, and she would wake up looking like a huge mess.
She was usually able to stop her tears from flowing. She could just slap herself and pull herself together. She'd put on her mask again, and she'd be ready to face another day. Another very lonely day where the only kind of human contact she'd receive would be the ones that happen when she threatened others.
So now she was done. She was just so very done. She didn't want to do it anymore. She didn't want to face another day feeling alone. She didn't want to shed another tear. She didn't want to have to hurt others in order to speak to someone. She didn't want to wait for her brother to recognize her. She didn't want—she absolutely didn't want—her brother to fear her and hate her and want her gone.
Natalya already knew how she wanted to deal with this problem. She'd remove herself from all of their lives. They wouldn't have to fear her anymore, especially Ivan. Ivan could go and be with whomever he wanted to be with without having to fear what she'd do to them. She knew he'd spend a lot more time with Yao. She knew of their relationship, and it killed her. Yao got all of Ivan's attention that wasn't devoted to fearing her, and now Yao would have it all.
She twirled the knife around between her fingers. She had chosen her favorite knife for this. She never used it to threaten anyone before. The hilt of the knife was wooden and old, but it had something special carved into it. It was something her older sister used to tell her when they still spoke. Whenever Natalya would cry, Katyusha would always tell her, "Держите в этих слезах." She would tell Natalya that she needed to keep the tears for something later, something that would be more important.
Natalya had never in her entire life knew what she could spend her tears on. She would waste them, and her sister's words would always come back to her. She would then put on her mask and stop crying.
Now, Natalya couldn't stop the tears. She would miss seeing her brother, seeing everyone that, if perhaps she had done things differently, could've been her friends. She thought there was nothing she could do to change it. Her mind was just stuck on that belief. It was all her fault, every last bad thing that happened to her or Ivan.
She rose her knife up and examined it through squinted eyes and tears. It would do. It was perfect for this occasion. In a swift motion, the knife came down, and a gorgeous red, staining liquid coated the ground and snow around her. She fell down and closed her eyes to sleep forever. Stained tears froze on her cheeks as the rest of her body began to slowly stop working.
Katyusha was worried. She hadn't seen Natalya all day. She was always worried about Natalya, but the fact that she hadn't seen her at all was extremely concerning. What if she hurt herself? What if someone hurt her? What if she was crying again? Katyusha was angry at herself. She could never get the courage to speak to her sister, but she was always so worried. It wasn't fair to Natalya, and she recognized that.
Natalya wasn't at home. Katyusha found her in the snow in an empty park. Wind blew through the empty trees and pulled Natalya's hair over her pale, lifeless face. At first, the Ukrainian couldn't comprehend what had happened. It very slowly sunk into her brain. Her blue eyes widened and tears fell out of them quickly. They froze on her cheeks and she ran to Natalya's side.
Katyusha couldn't help but feel that this was her fault. She should've talked to her sister. She should've prevented her from being the monster that she became.
"No…" her voice trembled and shook. She made a mistake. Her sister was never a monster to begin with. She was lonely. She was just so, so lonely with no one to go to.
The tears fell harder now, and they froze slower. She dropped to her knees beside her younger sister. This wasn't happening. It could not be happening. This was all her fault! She left her sister alone, how could she have done that? "Natalya!" The scream ripped from her throat roughly and echoed around the empty park. The younger blonde didn't move.
Katyusha's hands grasped Natalya's shoulders and rolled her onto her back. She screamed again, "Natalya! Wake up!" Her throat quickly and easily became sore from screaming in the cold, dry air.
The younger woman did not wake up, not matter how much Katyusha screamed and begged for her to do so. The tears kept falling from Katyusha's face. They fell without a sign of stopping. She didn't know what to do now. She felt so lost, so hurt, so evil. She couldn't shake the feeling that this had been her fault, no mater how hard she tried. She felt so alone now. She wondered if this was how Natalya felt.
She couldn't think of anything else to do to help her, so she pulled the knife from the flesh slowly. Her eyes widened and tears fell faster when she read what the knife said.
Oh how I wish I could've made this sadder somehow...