I'm not quite sure why, but this just popped into my head so I thought I'd type it up and see where I went with it.
This is a little different from any of my other fics and is my first shot at pure angst.
And when I say angst, I really do mean angst.
Reviews very much appreciated :D
With a Look
It was with a look that she put her trust in him.
It held her vulnerability; an emotion that she allowed only him to see. It signalled the deep felt trust she had for him; a trust that had woven through her body. In it, he saw her fear, her inner child and all its innocence. Showed him anquish, pain, hurt; emotions he knew that she believed she wasn't allowed to feel. It pleaded with him not to say anything, to just be there, to understand why she couldn't tell him with words and told him how badly she needed him in that moment…
It was with a look that she calmed him.
Time and time again, it told him. He first saw it when Tim died. Her strength shone through it, supporting him, dispelling his grief. The sincerity of it made him believe her. It was there again when he lost Marisol. Her gaze penetrated him, reopened his heart, warmed it; saved him. When he awoke in a hospital bed, scared and raw, it was there again. That deep green that told him to rest, that he had nothing to be afraid of, that she would be there no matter what. It told him she was a green-eyed angel in disguise, that he was alive and that he wasn't dreaming. The fierce determination it held inspired him, composed him and contented him…
It was with a look that she captured him.
Her eyes were bright, the deep green temporarily blinding him from anything but her. There was a smile in them, a playful, flirtatious one; a smile that pulled him in and held him there, like an invisible silken thread. It held her passion, her warmth, her intelligence; that hunger for knowledge that made her so good at her job. A light danced there, beginning in the corners and spreading across the emerald sea. It whispered words that only his heart could hear, breathed through him, temporarily cutting him off from time and space. It ignited a spark, his romantic tremor and ensured he thought only of her, dreamt only of her and made sure hers was the name on his lips every morning...
It was with a look that she told him she loved him.
Three gentle words silently screamed out at him, illuminating his soul as each word travelled deeper. It's intensity and passion threatened to suffocate him, pulled the air out of him. It's longing made him want to reach out and touch her, envelop her. It was a song that wordlessly thundered around the room, inside his body, inside hers. It was hope personified, created resounding joy. It teased him, flirted with him, loved him. A light flickered brighter than he'd ever seen it, mirroring his own internal rays. With it, she lifted him up high, evoked unimaginable happiness and it became his ecstasy…
It was with a look that she burnt him.
It's fire reminding him that she was untouchable, unreachable, unassailable. It's playful sparkle reminding him of what hurt the most; of how much he had to say, how badly he wanted to tell her. An alluring blaze that brought him close to her, but held him back too far, that she took a step back with whenever he took a step forwards; an agonizing inferno that burned his heart, scortched his flesh. It ripped him apart, knowing the potential for happiness was there, that love was already there but that it would never happen. It poisoned him, swept through his veins, rotted his dreams and diseased him. It was worse than unrequited love because it wasn't unrequited; it was trapped, imprisoned and incarcerated love...
It was with a look that she shattered him.
Took away his hope and closed the door on their potential. Radiated her stubbornness, her fear, her sorrow. Enhanced his pain, his ache, his hurt. It stung him and paralysed him. There was no longer a light, no longer a deep green. Instead he saw a frost, an iron curtain that shut fast on her feelings, clamped over his. Ice cold fingers slashed through him, splintering and stabbing until they reached his heart, where they shattered it into a million pieces...
And it was with a look that she said goodbye.