Opaque
Author's Notes: Hmm... another spur of moment vignette. Why? Because I felt like Anna's feelings weren't very clearly expressed towards Yoh in a lot of fanfics. For one, she was always portrayed as someone who was "actually sweet, but just put up a front"... when she isn't. I can't imagine her as an ordinary perky, happy, flowery girl. She's a very subtle girl, and I hope that is apparent in this fic. Excuse the o_Oness of this fic, it even makes me go o_O.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. Period.
I never thought I was capable of love. I was reminded that many times as a child. Look at her face, someone that plain cannot love. Look at her fists, clenched and tight, someone so angry cannot love. Look at those eyes, they are the color of nothing, someone so empty cannot love.
I proved them all wrong. It's perfectly normal to feel love for others, even for person like me. To love someone doesn't require giving them anything. It's just a feeling that you hold. So it's normal for something empty to love. Anything can love.
But then again, it's very hard not to love him. How many lives did he change? How many heads did he turn? How many smiles did he give? I don't think he knows how many people depend on him. For strength, for comfort, for love. Even I, as strong as I appear to be, need him. I don't think I could live without him… or at least, be the same person I am now.
Why do I love him? Someone so simple-minded, so blind to the world, so naïve? It was for all those reasons that I love him. His simple-mind always countered and crumbled my complex questions against the world. His blindness to the faults of others inspired faith in them. His naivety of the evils of the world made me want to protect this innocence. To help cultivate it and ensure its abundance. He is all that is good and kind in the world, and it makes me glad to even be able to feel it, to even be close to it.
I don't know how he was able to change me, or when it began. All I knew that one day, I woke up and discovered that I felt warm. I felt a stirring of emotions in the depths of my soul whenever I saw his confident grin. His absolute firmness that could rival a boulder, when it came to the outcomes of things. Could he see the difference in me? I hope so.
I felt fear, the day before the Shaman Fight. I was scared for him. I knew the extent of what he could do, and he wasn't ready. At least, not at that moment. He still needed to grow and no matter how much I put him through, he wouldn't improve. He needed more, something bigger to overcome. Would he be able to overcome? Would he pass? Would he endure? Would he survive? It pained me to know that I couldn't help him.
Which is why I jumped at the chance to deliver the Tchou Senjiryaketsu to him. A chance to show my worth to him, to prove that I can really help. It's pathetic, how eager I was to hear his gratitude and to see his blithe smile. Really, I was nothing less than a puppy that had just fetched a bone. Could he see how easily I was wrapped around his finger? I hope not.
I savor the nights when I'm alone with him in our bedroom, when no one else can rival me for his attention. His noisy friends are always so bothersome with their insatiable appetites and loud voices. It's only in these nights when he can see me, without anything obtrusive in the way. We never touch as we sleep together. We don't need to. He is content to sleep with his headphones on, and I am content to just be by his side.
Every night, we lay there, unmoving. The sounds of our breath barely break the silence. I close my eyes in the comfort of his warmth and slip slowly into sleep. Every night, before slipping to sleep, I tell him I love him. And every night, he turns his head to give me a look that tells me he already knows.
Hmm... I just like the ending XD.