The Only Brother I've Got

by Deliriums Darkling

People sometimes forget there was more then one Son of Black. Here is a look into Regulus, his brother Sirius and their relationship.

A/N: I'm sure some of the dates are wonky and that there are all sorts of mishaps in this piece of writing, but I was listening to "Brother" By: Murder By Death" and all I could think of was Sirius and how he was the only brother Regulus had, and even though he did join the Death Eaters, at the end, he followed his brother's example. So here is my

Disclaimer: I own neither this song (Which is done by the wonderful band: Murder By Death) nor these character (Who belong to J.K. Rowling) and I am simply borrowing them for a short amount of time to get some creative angst off my shoulders. I do very much hope you enjoy it. Reviews are nice. Spam and flames are not. Don't send me them, for I shall ignore them (Did you notice me ignoring them? I thought I noticed you noticing that I'm ignoring them) Anyway! Enjoy. (Yes, my skill at writing has (HOPEFULLY!) improved since some of my other work and I am branching out!)

I wasn't surprised when the owl came for me late at night. The Trio (as it was easiest to refer to them as when they all did something) sent me lots of things. However, I was surprised when I realized I didn't know this owl and the package that was being offered to me was a journal. My heart clenched when I saw the book. It was a gift I'd given my brother for his 16th birthday. I'd sent it to him after I found out he'd joined the Death Eaters. I was angry, of course, that my brother had followed the path of my cousin Bellatrix, but I sent him the journal anyway.

Now the cover stared back up at me, his initials burned into the dragon hide biding. R.A.B. There was a passage marked with a small note in a hand I didn't recognize that simply said, "You owe it to him to read it. But I owe it to you to make you see he wasn't as bad at you thought."

Cautiously I opened the passage and began to read.

Fourteen years have passed since that day

Your stories are the same but the ends have all changed

You carried on like you were some type of god

Some things will never change

I suppose Sirius will never see this journal, but I can only pray it somehow finds its way into his hands. This is my true final letter to him. Well, no, I suppose this isn't even really a letter. It's my confession. I'm defying the Dark Lord, and I regret none of my betrayal to those who follow Voldemort. I know my defiance will result in my death. I just hope I can do something right for once.

I was in the wrong for not keeping contact with Sirius when he ran away from home. I miss my brother, and this is the only place where I can admit it.

People never understood him like I did, he is my brother and I have a pretty intense insight into what our world was made of. Sirius was handsome, we Blacks are bred to be beautiful I guess you could say, and he was striking among us all. The only one who could compare, really, was Bella, but I know better to try and make my observations to anyone about that. Bella took his betrayal very personally, and it's safest not to even mention his name. But I miss him all the same.

I won't go into detailing the act that I have done, the very thing that will result in my death, but I hope that my brother can be proud of me. Sirius is by far the bravest person I know. Loyal to a fault, brave enough to defy the Pure-Blood world, the entire Black family and the Dark Lord himself. I still look up to him and its because of my brother that I find the courage to do what I must do now, to destroy part of Voldemort myself, I have stolen one of the Horcruxes and I plan to blast the damn thing into oblivion.

I shouldn't dwell too long on my impending death, I need this time to reflect. To confess.

Oh Sirius, why did you leave me behind? I've spent so long following you, drawing on your strength, but I wasn't brave enough to face down the family as you had done. I lived in Slytherin, I was at the mercy of all the Pure Blooded children, and through them, their families. I didn't have friends other than the ones I gained at school, and none of them were detached from that elite circle.

We went home to see our folks

We laughed and we told jokes

It was like we were young again

On that deathbed our mother lay

How long she's got they still can't say

It took all this to get us back together again

I remember that day we met back up, after you'd run away, before I'd taken the dark mark and we found a pub and drank ourselves numb, remembering, laughing, forgetting for a moment that we were taking opposite sides in this war, that we were enemies, and just being brothers.

I'd told you Mother was ill, on her deathbed she'd told me, but the old war hammer pulled through. You just smiled at me and told me that there wasn't anything you needed to say to them, they'd made their choice. And little did I know in just a few short days I'd make a choice that was worse then any of the others.

I wish I'd had the courage to leave with you like you had offered me. Instead I raised a pint and offered a toast "To brotherhood, a bond not even death can break."

But taking the dark mark broke it. You hated me, of that I was sure. But I need you to know, you're the only brother I have. And even though if anyone finds this my name will be blasted off the family tree I must tell you, I have loved you well brother.

I wonder if you're still like you used to be when we were children…Do you still take the blame personally? Do you carry around each insult like a favorite toy, that you'll never let go? Will you blame yourself for my death? Will you blame yourself for not protecting us?

Will you be proud of me one more time? For defying the same world you left? Will you find it in your heart to forgive me? For not being as brave as you were, as strong as you were?

How long is this going to last

You can't keep reliving your past

Screwing over the ones that you love

In the name of some new drug

So brother, raise another pint

Rev up the engine and drive off in the night

See you somewhere some place some time

I know there's better brothers but you're the only one that's mine

I know there's better brothers but you're the only one that's mine

Once you ran away I faced the wrath of our family, it seems that even though you sent letters rarely Mother still saw one of the missives I failed to burn fully…I was beaten, tortured, hexed, jinxed, cursed, but I never gave you up. I never told them where you'd gotten your new home, or anything you'd told me. I never told them of the few times we'd met and spent time together as brothers. After I joined the Death Eaters they tried to get any and all information about you that I had. They wanted to punish you. You'd betrayed their world and Bella in particular hated you then, like nothing else she's ever hated…..

I remember when she'd come to my room after I'd taken the mark, it was the precursor to the worst night of my life. She and Rodolphus stood, leaning against my door fame, making it impossible for me to leave, to even shove by them if I wanted to escape.

They asked for you. To prove my allegiance. I told them I could do them no good, as I had no idea (you were with the Potter's and Lupin in France. You Owled me the day before. I burned the letter.) and therefore could do little to assist them in their search for you. I told them, looking Bella in the eye and lying, that you hated me any way (it seems perhaps I do have the gift of prophecy) and even if I were to try and find you, you'd probably vanish into the depths of the Wizarding world.

I was hit with so many Unforgivables that I swear I could hear the sound of my spirit breaking, and it sounded much like Mother's crystal vase we broke as children, the one that tinkled and chimed as it shattered and crashed.

The bondsman came to my door early the next day

He said "I come lookin' for you brother

You don't know what kind of trouble that he's in"

How long is this going to last

You can't keep reliving your past

Johnny law keeps a poundin' at my door

'Cause you screwed up some new score

So he's standing in the doorway like he owns the place

With a look of smug satisfaction on his face

I'm gonna give you up

Of that he's sure as hell

But I take one look at him and I know I'll never tell

I look into their faces, I see the haughty look on Bella's face and the expectant look on Rodolphus, the look of certainty that they will get what they come for, from my place on the floor and I know I'll never tell. Not on you. You would let me crawl into your bed when we were children after a hex from Mother, in the middle of a storm, after a nightmare.

When Bella would pick on me or knock me down, you'd push her back. When Father would yell at me you'd tell him I was learning, and that I'd be the Black to do us all proud.

You helped me in school when the older kids would pick on me, even though we didn't share a House. It seemed that you held to the fact that blood was thicker then water.

They took me before the Death Eaters that night and they cursed me until I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't feel anything at all but the pain. I thought I was going to die but I was of use to them still.

Mother didn't talk to me for a week. Father said only that at least I was still alive and he wouldn't have to try and have a new child this late in life.

I wished so hard for you to be there, my brother, because you would have joked with me as you dragged me to St. Mungos'

Sirius, I have never given up anything you've told me, not even the things that would hold no relevance, like the unnamed witch you'd had a pregnancy scare with, or that you still loved flying, or how much you loved your motorcycle, I never told them any of it.

So brother, raise another pint

Rev up the engine and drive off in the night

See you somewhere some place some time

I know there's better brother's but you're the only one that's mine

So brother, raise another pint

Rev up the engine and drive off in the night

I still look out for you no matter what you heard.

They can knock all of my doors down but I won't say a word.

They can knock all of my doors down but I won't say a word.

Now, I must finish with the most important words. My time is growing much shorter. You have to know Sirius, that you have been my hero since childhood, your bravery is what gives me the strength to do this. And I hoe that no matter what happens from here on out that you will always and forever stay my handsome, strong, kind, brave, loyal brother. The brother who I am proud to call the Heir Of The Noble And Most Ancient House Of Black. As well it should be. I was never fit to hold the title, and you were born into it.

I think in the end, you held up the true name of Black better then any of us did. You portrayed honor, loyalty, strength, bravery, cunning, wisdom and all the things they taught us as children to show. And we did, to a degree, but they were very warped. You truly did belong in Gryffindor, which I'm starting to think might be the greatest of the four Houses.

I have loved you well, my brother, and dearly. I have held your words close to my heart and I believe it's your influence that has taught me that what Voldemort is doing is very wrong, and my memory of your bravery forces me to go on ward, and each step I take down the right path I dedicate to you.

Thank you, Sirius, my brother, for being all that was good in my world. I hope in the end you can forgive me for any and all wrongs I have done to you.

Regulus Arcturus Black

Fourteen years have passed since that day and still nothing has changed.

I closed the book and bowed my head in pain and shame. My brother, my baby brother, turned out to be a bigger hero then I thought any Black could be. He was taken in and while in the midst of it all he still defied the whole world he knew.

As I thought I flipped through the worn pages catching words here and there. Fear. Guilt. Hate. Pain. The names of my family, Bella, Cissy, Andy or Dromeda, my own name Sirius, Rodolphus, Lucius…and I wondered if I had bent just a little, if I could have saved my brother's life. He was only 18 when he died. Far too young to face death. But a far braver man than anyone had ever known.

As that thought dawned on me I stood up, tucking the book away where it would be safe with my other treasures, and made up my mind. I would not let my brother down, I would not let James down, and I wouldn't let Harry down. I would go to the Department of Mysteries and I would earn the respect I had from my brother, I would earn the admiration. I had been half a man for so long, and reading my brothers words I felt more whole than I had since I was but a boy in school.

I would earn my name back, and I would be a Black once more. I wouldn't let Regulus down, I'd fight on in any way I could with his name on my heart. I, too, loved my brother well.

The owl had watched this all with eyes that were far too glazed over for a normal animal. It took wing when Sirius ran out the door and flew back to his mistress. Andromeda Tonks, mother of Nymphadora, sister of Narcissa and Bellatrix, cousin to Regulus and Sirius stood outside of her house and waiting. The owl swooped low and landed on the outstretched arm.

Andromeda knew well what was in the journal as she had gotten it from her sister, Cissy, months back and felt that she should pass it on to her cousin. As she watched what the owl had seen through her spell she closed her eyes as a few lone tears fell.

It was the next day that Dora came home, hollow eyed and distraught, to tell her that Bella had killed her precious cousin. Her Sirius. After her daughter left Andromeda wept bitterly, seeing the Black family vanish into nothing. The three sisters were left, Dora and Draco…But Andy was no fool. She knew the toll this war would take. They had not lost all there was to lose.

"Goodbye my dear cousin, I hope you find your brother where ever it is you have gone to, and I hope you have done each other proud."

-End-