This was pretty much just a fun little idea I had while waiting for someone earlier today. None of these bitfics should be taken seriously, nor should anyone endeavor to find some sort of interconnecting plot or purpose among them, (though a few do overlap.) I plan to do this in 5 installments; hopefully people will enjoy the randomness. Also, I quite obviously do not own Naruto.

1. Naruto and Sasuke moved in together awhile back. Naruto doesn't remember how long its been since the transition. Sasuke can tell you down to the exact minute. This may not be a good thing.

2. Sasuke can't stand it when people leave the toilet seat up. Naruto knows this and does so at every opportunity, often leading to heated arguments and the occasional fight. He claims the makeup sex is totally worth it though.

3. Whenever Sasuke really pisses Naruto off, he knows that a simple apology won't cut it. Fangirls take heed; these are your only rare chances at catching the Uchiha in a dress.

4. Naruto never calls Sasuke on the phone. Shadow clones are almost as fast and potentially far more embarrassing.

5. Speaking of shadow clones, any orgasm they experience unfortunately does not transfer over to the original. Naruto and Sasuke have tried. Twice.

6. Sasuke no longer dresses like a slut. In public anyway.

7. Naruto, on the other hand, has taken to wearing as little as possible regardless of his current whereabouts. "If you've got it, flaunt it!" has been his motto when asked about this new habit. Needless to say, this didn't go over too well with Tsunade and Sakura. Sasuke told him so.

8. During the summer months, Naruto likes to snack on strawberry-flavored double popsicles. He breaks them in half and sucks on both at once, quite noisily I might add. Sasuke is unsure how to feel about this.

9. A low-power Chidori is not an effective anal stimulant. Don't try it at home.

10. Rasengan doesn't work that well either, though Sasuke reports it feels "interesting."

11. Sai once offered to draw Sasuke and Naruto having sex. The latter was horrified, claiming it would be like, "Having your cousin watch you fuck your brother." Both Sasuke and Sai were strangely aroused by this. Its always the pale, quiet, anti-social ones...

12. After weeks of intense training, Naruto finally revealed his newest creation to Sasuke; Orgy no Jutsu. Sakura was promptly summoned to the scene. Blood replenishment pills were required. Lucky Uchiha bastard...

13. The first time Naruto got drunk at a party, he changed into his female form and tried to seduce Neji. Oddly enough, Sasuke thought this was hot. Kakashi agreed. Poor Neji has since developed a reliance on anti-anxiety medication.

14. For Sasuke, no other word describes Naruto quite so well the way 'idiot' does. Naruto has come to believe this is meant as a term of endearment. Sasuke sees no reason to burst his bubble.

15. A quick snack at Ichiraku's with Naruto - 250 ryo. Dinner at Ichiraku's with Naruto - 800 ryo. Knowing that he'll definitely get to top tonight because Naruto will be too full to argue about it - priceless.

16. Sasuke doesn't believe the saying, "You are what you eat." Naruto usually tastes sweet or tangy; never once has he come in miso flavor.

17. Naruto likes it when it rains during missions with Sasuke. Sasuke, however, detests it. If he wanted to have messy wet sex with Naruto there are plenty of bathhouses for that, most of which involve getting far less mud in his hair.

18. Sasuke recognizes that sometimes being a nice, supportive boyfriend can often be a dangerous proposition. He still shivers a bit when remembering the time Naruto cooked him dinner for his birthday. On the bright side, Tsunade at least pumped his stomach for free in lieu of a gift.

19. Sasuke has many secrets, one of which is that he actually does not dislike sweets as much as he has lead others to believe. Regardless, he still gives them all to Naruto. Why? It's really a very simple equation: sugar = energy, therefore sugar + Naruto = energetic Naruto. Energetic Naruto + Sasuke = bow chika bow wow. And really, who would choose a cookie over getting some three times a day anyway?

20. Naruto loves it when Sasuke plays with his nipples during sex. That's it; there's no further point to me telling you this, I just kinda felt like sharing. Also, enjoy the mental image. You're welcome.

Heh, that's it for now, I'll try to post the next twenty within a day or two. Any and all comments are loved, including criticisms. I'd also really like to know which one's people like the most. My personal favorite is #16 so far. Later!