A/N: Still slowly muddling through the prompts. 4/6 here and it's straight fluff with none of my usual gimmicks. Enjoy the break from my norm. Thanks to the beta!
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You say you're tired of waiting
You're weak and so ashamed
And your faith is finally fading
Like starlight into day
- Hammock, "…Like Starlight Into Day"
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Addison taps her right ring finger against the wood of her desk feeling miserably nauseous. She swipes at the multicolored confetti and shining glitter that fell out of the heavy ivory envelope pushing it all into the wastebasket by her feet. Taking another deep breath she settles her head against the back of her chair and twists from side to side in a motion that's certain to either make her throw up or come to a solution.
An hour later, stomach rested, mind still spinning she joins the rest of the Oceanside Wellness Group for a get together at Sam's house. After three rounds of margaritas and feeling slightly feisty and frankly a little loopy she finally spills to Naomi, "I got an invitation today."
"Oh from hot cop? Is that why you are all swirly today?"
"Swirly is not a word Naomi. You would think a crossword whore would have a better vocabulary…" Violet butts in and then excuses herself to refresh the drinks when she is clearly no longer needed.
"Not from hot cop." Addison relinquishes and ushers herself outside into the warm salty breeze.
"Is it Pete?" She questions distastefully.
"It wasn't from a man, well it kind of was but…Chelsea invited me to her wedding."
"Your niece…well, you know whatever she is now…she's like ten."
"She's twenty one and apparently very in love according to Nancy." Addison scoffs and then dips her foot into the inviting sand immediately regretting the itchy molecules between her toes.
"She's a child. Someone should warn her. Look at us." Naomi corrects.
"Yeah well…Should I go?" She peers at her best friend for the wisdom and hard knock guidance that she will give no matter the situation.
"No. Hell no Addison. If you go and-"
"I have to go Nae, out of all of them-"
"I know." Naomi rubs her shoulder lightly. "That's not your family anymore Addison."
"Why does Derek get them? He doesn't like them, doesn't talk to them. Never checks in to see-"
"Life's not fair." They fall silent watching the stars burn into the cloudy ocean night. "So you'll be gone how many days?"
Addison grins and turns to her friend momentarily thankful for her disapproval and subsequent understanding. "It's not for a few more months."
"I swear to God if you don't come back Addison-"
"I'll be back Naomi. I just got everything out of the boxes. I have no intention of leaving you…besides where in the world would I go?"
She gets no answer but they both know. They know how dangerous Derek is. They know how he gets when he is waxing nostalgic and being oh-so charming. Addison falls asleep as the stars give way to the morning light and she proceeds to dream about various weddings and gowns every night until she is boarding her flight three months later to LaGuardia. She toys nervously with her watch noting to switch it up three hours when they land.
She sips at the horrible airline wine needing it to relax when the plane is in mid flight and by the time they touch down on the already steaming hot spring runway she can smell home. Closing her eyes she feels the familiar tingle and a smile that she hasn't seen the likes of in years spreads across her face. The collection of baggage went smoothly enough and before she has time to process she is seated in the back of an oddly fresh cab watching the city whiz by.
There's something about New York and she's never been able to put her finger on it but she definitely feels it emanating from her pores when she sets foot onto the busy curb and the driver pulls out her bags waiting for the bellboy to pick them up and waiting for his fare. He gruffly remarks something about her being a tourist in Spanish and then jumps back into his cab in need of a new patron. The uniformed man-child drags her many bags in the doors and she holds off. Standing perfectly still, content in the madness, she watches the people waiting to cross the street and feels arms jab at her sides when she refuses to budge and inch.
This is home and it's good to be back.
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"Which one?" Addison asks clutching the material under her chin and trying to balance the phone to her ear hoping that Naomi has some sense of telepathy and can see that she is holding up one green knee length dress and another pale lavender halter that stops mid calf.
"Neither." Naomi mutters knowing that if her friend has to ask then not a one of them is the right choice. "Go with the blue."
"The blue?" Addison crinkles her nose. "It's only the rehearsal dinner. I don't even know if I should be there but Nancy said that everyone is expecting me-"
"Gotta give the people what they want. Listen blue for the wedding and black for tonight. No arguments and leave your hair up, no need to draw more attention to yourself by having it bounce in every direction when you move."
"Thanks Nae."
"No problem, I have to go. It may be six there but-"
"It's only three there. I know. Bye." She slides the phone closed and tosses it on her bed contemplating Naomi's words. She pulls the clip from her hair and shakes out the red tresses letting them dance down her back and tickle her bare shoulders.
Hair is definitely staying down, although, the black is not a bad thought.
An hour later after tediously applying her face and making sure everything was in perfect order Addison hails a cab and arrives at the closed to the public restaurant.
"Addie!" Nancy screeches breaking free from the rest of the group and racing over to hug the younger woman. "Thank goodness you are here, I need a drinking buddy."
"Happy to oblige."
"Hello Addison." The mother of the bride and once sister in-law, Maggie greets.
She does the traditional round with all the girls (ignoring the questions about the divorce in the name of a happy time) and they finally settle inside taking the appropriate seats inside until Addison finds herself with an empty chair to her right. She points and raises her eyebrow at Nancy who mouths Derek shortly before she feels him slide in next to her.
His hair is shorter again and he is looking very pre-affair, pre-divorce with his pale blue button up shirt and black suit that she is certain she bought at one point. "Derek." Addison plainly states taking a sip of wine.
"Addison, you look nice." He nods his head in approval, taking the opportunity to glance at the legs he has been longing for, before taking a drink of his water. He hadn't planned on coming but as soon as Nancy left a voicemail about him making sure he wasn't bringing anyone because Addison was his set date he knew he had to be there.
They breezed through the dinner in a very cordial and slightly strained manner and when the happy in love couple bid their families goodbye Addison found her self stuck with the realization that she and Derek were either going to have to share a cab uptown or she was going to have to make him wait in the warm night alone. Feeling strangely happy and grown up she offered and he accepted and it wasn't until they were both getting out into the darkness that Addison understood they were staying at the same hotel.
"Well this is awkward." Derek mumbles unfastening the top button that has been choking him all night and loosening his silk tie.
"You always did have good taste in hotels." She offers with a tipsy grin and suddenly he is leaning in, pressing his swollen lips against hers and waiting to see if she takes the bait.
Pulling back briefly she stares into the sky almost missing the bright stars of the coast before taking a step forward and looping her arms around his neck and thrusting her tongue into his mouth. She swore she was done with him, swore up and down until she was blue in the face that all of her feelings for Derek Shepherd died when she signed the divorce but life doesn't work like that and she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss his annoyingly blue eyes and light sleeping patterns every day since she had been in the sand and sun.
She blames the city and pushes against his mouth hard trying to bruise something other than her heart for once. They tilt and swirl and grasp at each other for a few more minutes before Derek pulls back and nods toward the door. He reaches into his pocket and produces the sanctioned keycard as they enter the elevator and she grins when he hits the 33rd floor button.
"Same floor even." She remarks.
"It's my favorite number."
"I know." And that's why she picked it but she'll be damned before she ever admits it.
"So your place or mine?" He winks.
"Oh and you assume that we are doing something tonight?" She smirks and leans into the handrail feeling its coolness graze her back.
"I miss you Addison." He states very seriously thankful that they are on floor ten and she is momentarily trapped.
"No Derek."
"I do."
"Funny choice in words. Haha." She turns away, the wind sucked from her sails. "What am I supposed to say to you?"
"How about you miss me too?" He reaches for the stop button but she bats his hand away enraged.
"And what if I do? What if we go in there and screw each other senseless and in the morning I want it to mean more? And you want it to mean more?" He nods watching the hand gestures begin to pop out as she grows flustered. Years of shyness and the inability to convey thoughts into words have left his ex-wife nothing short of very expressive and from time to time he misses her adorable little faces. Especially when she is angry, it does nothing but turn him on.
"Then what? Then we go back to our homes in different towns and tell ourselves it never happened? I won't go down this road and what about Meredith? I won't be the other woman and I sure as hell won't break you two up again. I can't even believe I am considering this. No, no Derek." She throws her hands up in resignation as the doors ding open and she stomps down the hall angrily after hearing all the things she wanted a year ago.
Why must he wait until she is okay? Why does he always have to stir up her world? She doesn't have time to think because something is grabbing at her wrist and spinning her until she is pinned against the wall. He brushes at both sides of her face with his knuckles and takes his cue from her unwillingness to wiggle free. Instead of pressing into her and snaking his tongue down her throat his kisses her the bridge of her nose lightly and then rests his forehead against hers. "I don't have good timing." He whispers.
"Story of your life Derek." Her eyes glass over and she hates him more in that second pushed up against the flowery wallpaper than she ever did any night he refused to come home from the hospital; any night where he placed work ahead of her.
"I think I am still in love with you."
"Well you thinking never got us anywhere, did it?" She finally struggles free, "Night Derek."
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She wakes up the next morning feeling his hot breath and cursing all of the wine Nancy poured down her throat last night. Looking down she feels relieved at seeing she slept in her heels but suddenly realizes that the majority of the rest of her clothing is inexplicably missing. Kicking the black peep-toes to the floor she rolls onto her side and instinctively he molds himself around her half-awake and still weary.
She tries to not think about how amazing it feels to have him behind her. How enticing his grip on her waist is. How she wants to roll over and kiss him until he wakes up all the way. She growls into her pillow and he brushes the hair off her neck and lets his lips linger over her flushed skin.
"We didn't?" She whispers into the warm morning air, adverting her eyes from the light that is attempting to creep in behind the blinds.
"You said I was the best you ever had." He grins, teeth scraping against her flesh.
While it's true he doesn't need his ego stroked, "I thought you were Mark." She gasps and flips over feigning fear. "Oh my god! Derek?"
"Haha….very funny." He pauses as she stares into his sleepy eyes. "You know the fact that we can joke about it now is a good sign."
"Don't start."
"Please Addison. You know us. You know-"
"I know we tear each other to shreds Derek. I know I can't stand to deal with our relationship again. I'm in a good place and I'm sorry but I just can't. I can't." She wiggles out of his embrace and looks around the room trying to ascertain whether or not it is hers. "Derek. Get out of my room."
"I'm staying." He burrows into the comforter and closes his eyes.
"Derek!"
"Nope, I'm fighting for what's right. Sorry Add but unless you can lift me out of here I think that I'm going back to bed for a few more hours…oh, and honey? Order up some room service. I'm going to be starving when I wake up." He smirks and rolls away from the shoe flying toward his head so that it slams into the headboard and tumbles onto his shoulder.
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"Dance?" He smiles sheepishly and offers the hand she has been avoiding all morning. She slipped from the room half dressed earlier that morning after purposely ordering omelets, which he hates, to stink up the room and decided that if she could just make it out of the city the next day without some sort of disastrous breakdown she would be okay.
"Fine but keep your hands where I can see them." She follows him onto the dance floor and he immediately pulls her close against his chest and holds her tightly with his hand on the small of her back.
"I said-"
"People are watching, you really want to fight with me?" He signals his victory by spinning her out of his grasp and pulling her back in like a yo-yo. He wouldn't be doing this if he wasn't sure. And Derek is positive. He broke up with Meredith when he finally understood that he was seeking was a new Addison. There are no other Addison's and he wants his one of a kind lover back. Now he just has to convince her. "Remember our wedding and our first dance?"
She purposely turns and places her cheek next to his so he can't see her eyes that are trying not to bubble over with all of the unresolved tears. "Don't do this Derek. We're done. We're over. That little piece of paper in my filling cabinet tells me so every day."
"I burnt mine." And he did. Took his copy of the agreement and struck it with silver lighter. It was all crap anyway. "Remember when Mark tripped over Maggie's foot and she slapped him for sleeping with Nancy the week earlier when he was supposed to be dating her?"
"That was a mess…leave it to Mark to ruin our wedding."
"It was a nice mess. I had you and that was all I cared about, all I care about now Addison."
She wrenches her way free and hurriedly rushes out the back door of the reception hall before collapsing into a proud mess on the weedy grass. She knows her dress will be stained but it doesn't matter because she couldn't breathe in there. Couldn't breathe when his intoxicating charm was being shoved down her throat and all of the memories were trying to choke her to death. She swallows deeply and commands herself not to cry.
To distract her brimming eyes and heaving chest she reaches for a daisy a few inches from her knees. They'll come looking for her soon, surely she didn't escape unnoticed. She never has been able to before. She plucks the white petals carelessly, feeling their moist residue build on her fingertips as she plays a little childish game of, "He loves me, he loves me not" like it will solve anything.
As she plucks the last petal she feels his hand on his shoulder. He looks down at her knowingly and asks simply, "So what do you say?"
She twirls the stem through her fingers and then pushes it into his tux pocket as a memento of the moment when she stands. "I can't argue with the daisy." Their kiss is soft and slow. They take time wrapping hands around necks and playing with wavy hair until someone clears their throat behind them.
"Sorry." Derek blushes coming face to face with the billowing white dressed bride.
"It's okay Uncle Derek. Think you two come back inside and enjoy the reception now?" She winks at him when they saunter back in, the crowd clambering close behind.
When the production comes to an end and the bride and groom are officially whisked away to the airport, Derek and Addison sway alone on the darkened floor.
There's no music playing. No one watching but the caterers and cleaners. The house lights are the only thing on and Addison is finally sure that they are making the right move.
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"Naomi?" Addison's voice crackles through the line a few days later. Approximately two after she was supposed to be home, one after she was supposed to be back at work.
"God damn it Addison. I give you one objective, one goal and what do you do?"
"Well…I was never very good at paying attention when Derek was around." She giggles and bats his hand away from the phone when he tries to shout a hello.
"I hate you."
"You love me." Addison grins.
"You are never coming home are you?" Naomi whimpers into the phone.
"I'm already there."
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