Title: Broken
Rating: PG-13 I guess
Pairing: Whoever your heart desires
Warning: I'm an angst whore....
Disclaimer: Don't own characters only the fucked up things they think about
~Love never wanted me~
It was always the same. Every time he would open his heart to someone, they would stomp on it as hard as they could. Perhaps he only fell for the sadistic? Those who enjoyed seeing him break into pieces. Those who ripped out his heart and colored the walls with the once living organ. To laugh as it fell to the floor then cringe as it stained their shoes. To scrape their soles on the concrete and smear the essence of his life. Maybe one day he would learn his lesson.
~I'm never going to be enough for you~
Perhaps everything he tried for, everything he idolized was completely out of reach. But what is life if it not to struggle for something worth having? Maybe he was never worthy? Perhaps the gods made him as a joke so all who met him could laugh and know that if they could not win everything, at least they could best him. Maybe, just maybe, he was a stepping stone out of the depths. He was put there as a permanent structure, never to be enough to leave.
~Nothing is more painful then realizing he meant everything to you but you meant nothing to him.~
It was the third time he was fooled into thinking he meant something to someone. Another cruel joke, another laugh, another time where he was tossed aside. Whoever said third times a charm, well they were right. Everyone found it even funnier this time around.
~I was so stupid to think that maybe for one second you cared~
Why was it that the softest laugh cut the deepest? That genuine amusement ripping at him deep enough to feel three lifetime's over. They all laughed at his tears, at his heart once again being smashed. He wore his heart on his sleeve and paid the price for it.
~Can a heart break after it's stopped beating?~
Perhaps it wasn't his heart breaking. His heart had shattered long ago, too fragile to glue back together. Now the pain was a hollow ache, something renewed and rememberedfrom the other times. No it was gone, the fresh pain was no longer there for it had nowhere to fester. He was far past broken but not enough to be dead. Where did that leave him?
~It's funny how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.~
Why if there was still pain was there also love? That beautiful smile only caused
through his pain. How is it that he would suffer again and again just to see that smile. That
real, beautiful smile. Maybe that was his purpose, to make that smile and those eyes light from his pain. If it was then maybe he could pick up the shards of his heart and pretend they could be put together once more. He could suffer for the one he loved.
~Because these are my last words and this is my last breath, I'd give you everything if I had something left.~
That smile fell as he dropped to his knees trying to find the pieces of his heart. He knew he had to find those tiny shards so that they could break once again. He needed something to break so that smile would come back. He needed to see that light again, to see that happiness. Why was it so hard to see the tiny pieces through his tears? Why was there nothing but the want for those perfect lips to turn upwards. Perhaps it was because he was the stepping stone, or perhaps, it was because he was no longer broken. No he was not broken yet he was not dead so where did that leave him?
Yes that's right, it left him at the mercy of those lips and those eyes. It left him on his knees until he was once again told to pick up the pieces. But would he have the strength to do so? Looking up at the one who hurt him most he knew it was over. There was no more trying to find the heart he had lost. It was all he had left to breathe.
~Am I your anything?~
Who would ever want to play with the broken?