Author Notes: I have to thank my beta reader Beka Alcott, who did a wonderful job checking my story over. Like I said, it is kind of an odd ball story that I wrote at 3:00 in the morning on my grave yard shift. I'd love any comments on what you think about the story. Enjoy!

Picking Sides

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being all-knowing and having the whole unlimited powers thing, but which side should I chose? Ori or Ancient? Which is better? Which is more fun?

The Ori are really bad ass! Those guys have fun by letting their worshipers wage holy war on all the unbelievers, while increasing their own power in the same stroke. On the other hand, the ancients straight off said screw the whole 'god' thing. Rather just screw the whole un-ascended galaxy - which is kinda cool too. Well, let's look at the pros and cons.

In truth I would enjoy being worshiped by countless thousands and at the same time further increasing my own powers. It would be even better if I could go down there and spend some quality time with the ladies, if you know what I mean. Still, I understand how you'd have to work at keeping up the whole 'god' image. Hitting on local ladies might piss off some of their husbands while knocking the whole god thing down a peg or two.

Then again, how much more power do these guys need to beat the ancients? Like man, they have millions if not billions of worshipers, and the ancients have what? None? When do they think they'll have enough power? Are they chicken or something, or just plain over-cautious? Both are a negative to me. I don't want to be seen as some all-powerful chicken! Still, they might know something I don't.

Now the cons. Yeah, we can help alter our little followers, but we can't go around vaporizing those that are trying to kill them? What's that all about? I mean, 'all-powerful'! You mess with my followers and my power supply and you're so dead, but nope, we can't. Why not? Because for whatever reason, we're not allowed to get involved because of some weird law that the Ancients put in place? What the hell, don't we hate these guys already? Why do we care what they think, are they that powerful?

I should be able to use my supreme powers to create armies of kick-ass ships and arm my followers with advanced weapons that will make their enemies cry. Why stop at the Milky Way, there are thousands of other galaxies that need to be converted. Why shouldn't I help those that look up to me to do it for me?

So the pros to becoming an Ori are: getting treated like a god, feeding off my worshipers, and helping to lead them in some wicked conquering … The cons are that I can't get too involved with the mortals, and no using my unlimited powers to vaporize the enemies of my followers.

Now, let's see the pros of being an Ancient: you don't have to act like a god, rather you have to say screw the galaxy, or at least the lower one. Now that is something that might be fun! Then again what if I see this totally hot babe in trouble who needs my help, but because of that silly rule I can't? Now that would blow. Doing nothing does have a ring to it, but doing nothing forever might be pushing it.

Also the whole 'we're the good guys' thing, is so fake. The Ancients are a bunch of hypocrites! Which makes them seem even more sinister than the Ori … Oh, they might act like they're all pure and whatnot, but they are so full of it. When did you see the Ori throwing a fit at one of their own, and deciding in their infinite wisdom to half-way ascend a really bad guy to punish them? 'Who cares what he does to those lower suckers, let's make her suffer!' Yeah, that's not the 'Lightside'. Last I checked that was the Darkside.

Hell, let's push it up one more peg. Let's make it a whacked out goa'uld, who nearly wiped out all life in the galaxy with one of our left-over toys! Yeah, like that's the light side. And you better not disagree with these guys, or they'll send you back with no memories and no clothes. You'd think they'd have the courtesy to leave you with some underwear. Is that asking for the answers to the universe? I think not.

Then again why don't the Ancients get off their lazy ascended butts? Seeing that the Ori are messing with the golden rule of not interfering with the lower galaxy, why don't they kick some major butt? And if the Ancients say the Ori are so powerful, then why are they waiting for the Ori to get more power? The Ancients should attack before the Ori can gather any more power by converting their own galaxy, right under their noses. I guess they really are chickens.

I mean, why the hell not? So a few of us mighty ascended beings don't get locked in a never-ending battle? Then again, how would we kill each other? I mean, we all did the whole death thing already and it wasn't that fun. But how would someone kill a pure energy being, that's already dead? There must be a way or the Ori wouldn't be so set on doing it.

Well, that brings me to the point that sucks with both of them. Why the hell have unlimited powers if you can do basically nothing with it? I mean it's like having the best toy ever and not being able to play with it. Why can't I go vaporize some random planet, or snuff out suns, or use my knowledge to build the coolest stuff?

Really, what's the point of ascending? Neither group lets you do what you want and you can only use a very little bit of your unlimited power. What's the point? It's like having the best sports car and only being able to drive 5mph. Hell, I'm going back down and becoming a flesh and blood mortal. It's better than this place. At least they do something, good or bad!