Always

by Dylixia

Sometimes it's less about what you want and more about what you need. Unfortunately, sometimes what you need involves other people and that's the part you can't control./Zemyx\

Always – A Zemyx Fanfiction

Rating: T
Pairing: Zemyx/Dexion
For: My nii-san (Sharne)'s birthday.

I never really cared much for music. If I was feeling down… if the space where my heart was supposed to be was hurting, I'd always turn to a good book. Reading always relaxed me. I never really had time for music. I suppose that's why it surprised me when I fell in love with you- you, with your gifted musical abilities. Those songs you sang; the notes that created them always seemed to burrow their way into my heart. Even when you weren't singing… you'd strum on your sitar, and my whole world would shift. The only people in my new little bubble would be me and you, and you'd be playing music for me. I wouldn't care for anyone else, or anything else- I'd just concentrate on the feeling of having you near, and of your music making my heart beat again.

You always knew when I was upset… you'd always be there- to fill in the gap that something bad created. Maybe we just clicked. We met in high school, but we never knew each other until two years ago, when we were both seventeen.

And you do know me, Demyx. You read my heart, and those musical notes that slip past your lips, or are created by your skilful fingers… they heal my soul, and as long as your music plays on, I'll never need anyone else.

I hope the day never comes, when your melodies fall on deaf ears… but I think it will, no matter how much I try to fight it. But if I ever leave you, your songs will still ring through my mind, and I'll never forget the music you created for me.

He was lying on a park bench, when I found him. It had been raining for several hours, but he had been lying there, regardless. As if the freezing raindrops had no effect on him, as they plummeted from the clouds, as the sky's tears. He was only wearing a baby blue t-shirt, which was plastered to his skin with the weight of the miniature drops of arctic water. He didn't seem to care at all- and my heart actually stopped beating when for a life-ruining moment, I wondered if he was still alive. I had made my way over to him, and my heart sank in my chest at the sad little smile that graced his lips. His blonde spikes were dampened by rain, plastered to his forehead.

Guilt washed over me, and it only worsened as I stared blankly at my best friend's face. His eyes drifted open- his bright blue eyes. Except they weren't bright as they observed me silently. The happy shine that was forever-present… it had disappeared, and I longed for it to come back. I met his gaze, but I couldn't hold it. I never liked that he could see into my soul, even if it felt good when he did.
He brought his jean-clad knees up, making room for me on the painted-green bench. With his eyes, he gestured for me to sit down. Reluctantly, I took my seat beside him. An awkward silence fell between us, and the only sound present in our little world, was the pattering and the whooshing of the rain as it hurtled to the ground.

"Axel told me you were leaving."

His voice did not hold the tone I expected it to. It was soaked in hurt and betrayal, rather than anger. I forcefully managed to bring my eyes up to look at his face. The pain in his voice was reflected in his eyes. He was staring at me accusingly, and my heart constricted in my chest.

"I know, he told me that- and I came to look for you." I answered, fidgeting uncomfortably in the cold air.

Silence followed. Demyx's blue eyes remained trained on the tarmac floor, as ripples were created in the small puddles that littered it.

"Let's get you into the warm." I murmured, standing up and extending my hand to him.

Demyx simply stared at my offered hand, before reluctantly allowing me to tug him to his feet. He pulled his arm away from my grip, and looked into my eyes, for a moment that seemed like it was lasting for eternity. Casting his eyes to the floor, he cocked his head, to signal for me to follow him.

"Why are you moving?" His voice was tight, like it pained him to ask such a question. This immediately crushed my chest with the weight of the guilt it directed at me.

"Because I need a new start." Away from you. The last part of my answer was left unsaid.

If I didn't get away from my best friend of two years, I was going to lose my heart to him- which meant it would be more painful when it came to the time that I had to rip it away.

"But why?" Demyx's voice heightened dramatically in volume, and he stopped walking, to lecture me on my actions. "Please, stay! What do you need a new start for?"

The urgency and desperation in his voice was contagious. I felt myself even starting to doubt my own decision.
It was still tipping it down, and the cold was starting to get to me- numbing my skin and soaking me to the bone. Taking a light hold of Demyx's wrist, I gently tugged him forwards until we were walking side by side. It was a few moments later before I realised I was still holding onto him- clutching his hand close to me- never wanting to break this contact. Awkwardly, my fingers slipped away from his wrist, only to be pulled back again by his own. Linking our fingers together, he pulled us to a stop, outside his house. I hadn't even realised that we'd gotten so far, in so little time.

He let a morose sigh slip from his lips, as he dug into his soaked pockets for his keys. Tugging them out, he slid them into the door, and let us in. The heating hadn't come on while he was out, so the house was freezing. The cold temperature did nothing to help our already frozen bodies. Demyx patiently waited for me to step in after him, before locking and bolting the door behind us. His hands travelled to the hem of his almost-see-through t-shirt, and he pulled it over his head. The sudden sight of smooth skin, stretched over toned abs and a muscular chest, caused my heart to skip a few beats. My eyes travelled over his torso, drinking in every detail, from the almost-invisible blonde trail of hair that led into his dripping jeans, to the subtle movement of the muscles in his arms, as he made his way towards me.

Of course, I hadn't realised he was walking over to me, because I was so focused on his toned physique. Before my distracted mind could comprehend what was happening, my taller friend had his arm over my shoulder, curled around my neck, the fingers of his still-frozen hand playing with the dark blue spikes at the back of my head. I gulped, the suddenly close proximity feeling strange, with the way it made my heartbeat increase by at least ten times.

"Don't leave, Zexy." He whispered, eyebrows knitted together as his cerulean eyes quickly searched my face for any signs of giving in. "Stay with me."

His breath ghosted over my lips as he got closer and closer to me. My first instinct was to back away, but I just ended up pressed against the painted-blue walls of Demyx's house. I peered up at my friend, heart wrenching in my chest at the pure desperation reflected in his eyes.
Then, his lips were upon mine. It wasn't a soft kiss, but it was over so quickly, I couldn't decide what it was supposed to mean.

Was he telling me he loved me? As a friend? Or more…? I couldn't decide, so I made no move at all. He pulled back, his eyes still closed, and his hands shaking as he drew them away from my shoulders.

"I have to go." The words left my mouth in one rushed statement, and I didn't know if I was referring to right that moment in time, or later on. My body made that decision for me, as my hands came up to wrap my black trench coat tighter around myself.

Hands suddenly attached themselves to my wrists, halting my movement. Demyx's cobalt eyes were serious as they stared into mine. Bringing me away from the wall, he released me, running a hand through the spiky mess of blonde hair.

"The door is locked," He murmured, turning to enter his large kitchen. "It's still raining, anyways."

Casting a wistful look to the door, I reluctantly trailed after my best friend, my heart still pounding in my chest. I could still feel the touch of his lips against mine. It lingered there, like a hot flame flickering against the soft skin of my lips. I stepped into the kitchen. Its walls were painted blue, with white tiles covering them. Demyx didn't actually cook much, which is odd, considering the size of his kitchen. He told me once, though, that the only reason his kitchen was so big was because I like to cook. My heart melted at that moment, as easily as butter in a hot pan.

I remained silent, my fingers very lightly touching my lips as I held onto the memory. Demyx was slowly searching through some of the heavily stocked cupboards. When he appeared to find what he was looking for, he turned to me, a look of exhaustion on his face.

"Coffee?"

"Sure." I whispered in reply, continuing to watch him as he took out two mugs, and dished coffee into them accordingly.

As the water boiled in the kettle, my blonde friend, who was on the receiving end of my eternal affections, kept his eyes trained on me. I held his gaze, this time. I wanted to always be able to remember those blue eyes- even when I was gone. Besides, I needed a sight to distract me from the muscular body of his, which had a few raindrops trickling down them, in a slow, tantalizing manner.

Fidgeting awkwardly in my place, I removed my coat, heavy from the rain. I went back to the hall, to hang it up. When I was out of Demyx's eyesight, I let out a sigh, and slumped forwards against a wall. My insides felt like they were turning black from the guilt that solidified within them. The sound of the kettle button popping up made me realise that I had better go back to my friend. Every last moment I spent with him would be priceless. I figured it was best to spend as much time with him as possible, before I moved away from town.

Reaching the kitchen once more, I took my place beside Demyx as he poured the hot water into our waiting mugs. The hot steam floated through the air, and my half-frozen skin embraced the tiny amount of warmth. I shivered, watching the dark coffee whirlpool as Demyx stirred vigorously, clearly taking his frustration with me, out on the hot brew he was making.
Once the mixture was stirred (more than) enough, Demyx chucked the metal spoon into his kitchen sink, where it landed with a loud 'clang', the sound reverberating through the room, breaking the awkward silence.

If there's one thing I hate more than anything else, it's when one of my friends is angry with me. It physically hurt to know that this time; it was Demyx who was in pain because of my actions.

He silently handed me my hot cup, and I nodded in thanks. The scalding liquid couldn't be sipped just yet, so I simply held it, the ceramic heating up and burning my skin almost instantly.

Demyx opened the door to his living room, stepping inside and expecting me to follow. Sitting down on a plush sofa, he beckoned for me to sit down. I set my cup down on a coaster, and turned to face my disheartened friend.

"Please, Dem. Say something?" I pleaded, swivelling around on my seat and pulling my shoeless feet up onto the couch.

Cold blue eyes came up to meet my own.

"I've said my piece, Zexion. I need you to stay with me- but you don't seem to care." There was a slight pout to his lips as he said this, but the cute image did nothing to ease the wounds left by the bitterness in my voice.

Of course, this annoyed me. Anger bubbled up inside of me, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Don't you dare accuse me of not caring about you!" I hissed quietly.

Demyx huffed loudly, throwing himself up out of his seat, and storming away from the couch. For a heart-stopping moment, I feared he was going to leave the room. It stopped twisting erratically in my ribcage. He wandered over to a large CD player that sat next to the TV. Next to it stood his blue and white sitar. He loved that instrument so much- and I loved to hear him play it. Unzipping a black CD holder, he took out a blank CD and slid it into the music playing machine. Pressing play and skipping forward a few tracks, he came back to join me on the couch.

I waited patiently for the music to start playing. I rested my head on the palm of my hand, the blue spikes of my hair tickling my skin. I was staring straight ahead of me- I had no idea what to say to him. The silence was nowhere near comforting, but it was preferable to awkward words being exchanged.

My head snapped around to look at him when 'Over and Over' by Three Days Grace sounded through the room. Was he… was he trying to tell me something? No, I'd have to be delusional to believe that Demyx's choice of song had an ulterior meaning.

I didn't want to seem obvious, so I waited a few seconds before I turned my eyes to Demyx. He was looking up at me with unfathomable eyes, peering through blonde bangs.
I let out a nervous chuckle before opening my mouth to speak,

"Why did you pick this song, Dem?" My attempt at keeping my voice steady was weak.

I received no answer, so I turned back to the wall on the opposite side of the room to me. A few moments later, I heard fabric rustling as the couch cushion dipped next to me. Hot breath swept across my cheek, and firm hands took hold of my shoulders, swivelling me so that I was facing my blushing friend. He pulled me forwards in one swift movement, so that he could rest his forehead on my shoulder. It was slightly awkward because he was so much taller than me, but it felt familiar and comfortable, so I didn't complain. Of course I didn't complain.

My heart was beating faster and faster as he raised his head. Tears were shining in his eyes as he brought his face closer to mine.

"Don't cry, Dem." I whispered, bringing my arms around his back, to press him closer to me.

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, the tears beading on his long blond eyelashes at the action. Three life-making seconds later, his lips were on mine. The kiss was soft and true, and it felt like my soul was being cleansed with the meeting of our lips. I parted my legs almost instantly so that he could slide between them, leaning against me to add more pressure to the kiss.

I didn't stop to think about what we were doing. It felt good, it felt right- so there was no need to stop. Our lips seem to fit together perfectly, like whoever crafted us had designed our lips for each other. The love and the anger between us was poured into the kiss, where they fused together into real love; love that held no fake words or thoughts, no lies and no cliché definitions. Everything was pure and white, but I knew I wasn't forgiven. He deepened the kiss, pearly white teeth nibbling gently on my lower lip. Hesitantly, I allowed him entrance. His tongue slid in, exploring every inch of my mouth as his grip on my shoulder became painful.

I knew he was feeling the exact same way that I was. The same thought that was flowing through my mind, was surely the same that was racing through his: Was this real? It felt real- but I had longed for it for so long… I couldn't be sure.
I brought a shaking hand up to cup Demyx's smooth cheek. Our tongues danced in our mouths as he leaned into the affectionate gesture. A soft moan fell from his mouth, captured by my lips. With a push that was neither gentle nor rough, he had me lying on my back on the couch, without even breaking the kiss. Nudging apart my legs with his knee, he lay between them once more. He braced himself on his arms, at either side of my head. I was aching for air, mentally cursing my body for ever needing such an irritating thing as oxygen. Eventually, my lungs burned too much, and I broke away from the kiss.
Luckily, Demyx didn't seem to be offended. In the back of my mind I had been scared that he would interpret my need for air, as a way of rejecting him. He gazed at me through lust-clouded blue eyes for a moment, before his kiss-swollen lips attached themselves to my neck. The sudden sensation was enough to make my heart almost leap out of my chest, as he parted his lips to lick and nip at the sensitive skin of my neck. I tilted my head back into the plush cushion I was leaning my head against, to grant him more access to my unmarked skin.

I gasped when he gave a particularly harsh bite to my neck, but I was incapable of saying anything. My breaths were coming in short pants, and in-between the rough kisses to my neck, I could feel that Demyx was in exactly the same condition. Hot breath assaulted my neck as he pulled his lips away to whisper against my abused skin.

"I love you, Zexion,"

My heart stopped. I literally felt it pause in its movements as these words finally sunk in.

I roughly pushed my friend to the floor, standing up and hurrying to the hallway. Demyx scrambled up, hurrying after me. I inwardly let out a harsh laugh, when I realised that the song now playing on the CD player was 'Let You Down'. Ironic, I thought. I could feel in the pit of my stomach that Demyx was building me up for something big, just to get me to stay. As soon as I agreed to staying with him, he would let me sink down again. I'd fall to pieces from his lies. I could have sworn that his kisses were genuine, true. Maybe it was the music that made me think that way. That is why I have never cared much for music… like Demyx, it was always able to unlock thoughts and feelings in me that I never acknowledged before.

He had ran after me- of course he had.

"Anything to get me to stay, huh?" I bitterly remarked, causing his blond eyebrows to knit together in confusion.

"What are you talking about? I know you may not feel the same way- but I don't want you to go!" The tone to his voice was pleading, but I overlooked this fact, in favour of ignoring him. I bent down and retrieved my previously discarded coat.

I could feel my blood pumping faster than ever. The love bite that Demyx had left on my neck was throbbing, a constant reminder of what we had just shared.

"Why won't you believe me?" Demyx cried, voice losing its desperate tone, being replaced by annoyance. "Where's your heart gone, jerk?"

"You tell me. You're the one who won't give it back!" I accused, not aware of what I was saying anymore.

"Sorry- I guess I thought it was a fair trade when I gave you mine in exchange!" Demyx hissed.

I turned to him in shock. His fists were clenched at his sides, his knuckles white because he was squeezing so tightly.

"You don't mean that." I whispered softly. "Maybe I never even had a heart in the first place."

I reached out to the shelf by the door, and lifted up some old junk mail, to retrieve Demyx's spare key. Sliding it into the lock, I undid the bolt and opened the door. I pulled my coat onto my shoulders and stared out at the rain which was still pouring from the heavens.

"Oh, we do too have hearts! Don't be mad!" Demyx yelled, startling me- but I didn't show it as I stepped into the ice-cold rain.

He ran after me, and I stopped. One heartfelt kiss later, and my whole world had turned around. The intensity of the emotion poured into the kiss- it somehow erased all doubt in my mind and heart. No matter how hard I desperately searched for my previous mindset, I couldn't bring it back. My blonde friend had done it again. He'd managed to draw out some more feelings, with just his lips.

Fisting his hand in my black jacket, he tugged me back into the house. He wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his chin on my shoulder. Turning slightly, he pressed butterfly kisses onto my neck and jaw line. As his lips made their way up to my ear, he hummed a soft tune gently, before singing into my ear in a hushed voice,

"I'll be there forever and a day – always. I'll be there till the stars don't shine, till the heavens burst and
the words don't rhyme. And I know when I die; you'll be on my mind. And I'll love you – Always."

I shivered as I realised those words were lyrics from a romantic rock song that was one of my favourites. They didn't sound cheesy or cliché, simply because they were sang by Demyx. Laying my hand on his topless chest, I rested it over his heart. His heartbeat was getting erratic as I leant up on my tiptoes to place a tender kiss on his lips. He broke into a lopsided grin, returning the small gesture of love and affection.

"Come on, I want to play you a song I wrote for you." He tugged me by the hand, back into the living room.

My heart was swollen from happiness in my chest, and I don't think I'd ever felt any happier than I did at that moment. We sat back down on the couch, and Demyx picked up his sitar.

"I love you, Dem."

"Love you too, Zexy. Now listen to this." He positioned his agile fingers on the sitar strings, a warm and heartfelt smile lighting up his whole face.

He always plays that song for me. Whenever I'm upset, hurt or downcast- I always get a song and a kiss. Those notes sew together the pieces of my heart again. I'll always be there to listen to his melodies- I'll never leave- even when the music stops playing.

Le fin!

My gawwsh.

Zemyx is hard stuff to write! D:
Hope you liked it anyways, nii-san! Sorry it sucked!
X X X X

The song that Demyx whispers to Zexion is 'Always' by Bon Jovi, by the way! :)