Nick was so sure he could get through the funeral, that he would be the one to catch everyone else when they fell. He always was the strong one, always the one willing to let everyone else cry on his shoulder, never shedding a tear of his own. He swore he would be the same through this; that he wouldn't let his pain show. He wouldn't. He couldn't. Because if that strong exterior cracked, he didn't know whether or not he could put it back There had been so much pain the last few years, the only thing holding him together was that tough exterior, the hard outer coating, the only part shown to the world.
"Nicky?" Greg said softly, approaching Nick in the narthex of the church where people were still crying, holding onto each other.
"Yeah?" Nick replied, just as softly. He didn't trust himself to speak more than a couple of words, or even at a normal level, because he knew the pain would cause his voice to crack and then Greg would know. Know that Nick wasn't as strong as he appeared, and the last person he wanted to think that he was weak was Greg. Sweet, goofy Greg, whose fun-loving exterior had also hardened a significant amount over the years but still broke down on occasion. He had to be strong, for Greg.
Greg kept his eyes on his shiny dress shoes, usually reserved only for days spent in court, mumbling something incoherent to Nick.
"What was that, G?" Nick asked, the most words he'd spoken all day.
Greg looked up, his chocolate brown eyes wet with tears. "Do you want to come over and hang out until shift starts?" he asked again, his voice clearer than the first time. "I don't think any of us are going to be able to sleep after this."
Nick nodded slowly, knowing he would only go home and pace his apartment until it was late enough to head into the Lab otherwise. Putting one arm around the smaller man's shoulders, Nick lead them out of the church, only stopping to say goodbye to Grissom, Sara, and Catherine, all of whom were still in tears and clung tightly to him when he hugged them.
After a few minutes, the two men silently removed themselves from the company of their team and left for the parking lot, both needing to get away from the pain and heaviness of losing a coworker, a friend, a brother. The pair wordlessly climbed into Nick's truck, a comfortable silence enveloping the interior of the vehicle as they drove away into the bright lights of Vegas at twilight. It was short ride to Greg's place, where Nick parked his truck in Greg's parking space and followed him up the stairs to the apartment, his eyes downcast as he tried to rub the small trickle of tears from his face without being noticed.
Entering the dark, silent apartment behind his friend, Nick fought for control of his emotions, unwilling to break down in front of Greg. Unwilling to, but wanting to at the same time; fighting the need for comfort, and yet wondering why he was fighting so hard.
"Greg?" Nick's voice cracked, drawing Greg's attention away from finding the light switch and focusing that attention on himself. He couldn't hold it back anymore, as the cracks in his strong exterior spread and broke, emotions pouring out in waves. "Greg," Nick pleaded, needing the smaller man's arms around him.
Seeming to understand Nick's unspoken plea, Greg took the two short steps to stand in front of Nick, hugging him tightly and letting Nick fall apart.
Nick buried his face in the smaller man's neck, his tears soaking the collar of Greg's shirt, shoulders shaking violently as sobs wracked his body. All the while Greg just held him tight, an anchor, keeping him from drowning completely. The anchor that Nick had been afraid to need, because that would mean he was weak, fragile. But in that moment, he wasn't afraid to need someone; because Greg had known all along what he needed and had given it to him without hesitation.