Heartattack
P.O.V.
Ever since Kurt was a little boy, he's never been able to love anyone. Execpt for himself and his dad, Burt. His mom died when he was just a baby so he was afraid to ever love someone (expect for himself and his dad) because love always finds a way to end…..
Kurt had met many g(a)uys (oh he's gay by the way) but it never felt right. One day in the queer room he sang a song about his feelings:
puttin' my defences up
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I'd have a heart attack
Never put my love out on the line But you make me wanna act like a girl You make me glow, but I cover up Never break a sweat for the other guys But you make me wanna act like a girl You make me glow, but I cover up The feelings got lost in my lungs You make me glow, but I cover up
Never said yes to the right guy
Never had trouble getting what I want
But when it comes to you, I'm never good enough
When I don't care
I can play 'em like a Ken doll
Won't wash my hair
Then make 'em bounce like a basketball
Paint my nails and wear high heels
Yea you, make me so nervous
That I just can't hold your hand
Won't let it show, so I'm
Puttin' my defences up
Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I'd have a heart attack (x3)
When you come around, I get paralyzed
And everytime I try to be myself
It comes out wrong like a cry for help
It's just not fair
Pain's more trouble than love is worth
I gasp for air
It feels so good, but you know it hurts
Paint my nails and wear perfume
For you, make me so nervous
That I just can't hold your hand
Won't let it show, so I'm
Puttin' my defences up
Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I'd have a heart attack (x3)
They're burning, I'd rather be numb
And there's no one else to blame
So scared I take off and I run
I'm flying too close to the sun
And I burst into flames
Won't let it show, so I'm
Puttin' my defences up
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I'd have a heart attack (x2)
I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack (x2)
one day Blaine came into his life, or rather fell in because he fell flat on his friggin' face. Kurt laughed so hard that he almost peed his pants (he actually did a little but he managed to cover it up by sitting crosslegged the entire remainder of the day but no one noticed because he sits like that every day all day 'cause he's gay – he almost started considering a career as a spy and later on in his life he joined the totally spies because he was practically a girl anyway and he decided that his spy name would be kitty but then this girl named kitty showed up so kurt settled for turtleface ) but Blaine did notice! Because Blaine's eyebrows smell pee. He smirked at him and Kurt had never felt so unworthy in his entire life (but at the same time he was kind of turned on).
Sometimes when he was alone in his room he whipped out his old ken dolls (he didn't have barbie dolls because he fancied boys and was so against the standard barbie put out there for Young girls demi lovato was his rolemodel and he leanred from her) one had really big thick eyebrows (thick and big like blaine's dick, he imagined) and he reminded him of Blaine. He could imagine the wildest things about Blaine in the safety of his own petite pink bedroom. He's never been so turned on by plastic (except for that one time in second grade a guy named Elski Hutchie put a plastic shovel in his mouth severaltimes)
He didn't shower for several day during the holiday because he was to wrapped up in his pretend play with his ken dolls who were playing basketball and stuff. Ya know. Then he decided to shower anyway and he decided to dress like a girl because he wasn't sure if Blaine was a gay fellow like him or just bicurious or maybe into bignosed whores like Rachel or smallnosed MILF sluts like Quinn.
He vowed to himself that hewouldn't fall in love – BLAINE COULD BE DANGEROUS! And he may hurt his feelingsand then he would never be able to ever ever ever love (EVER!) love again (LIKE WHEEEHEEEE EVER) again again (not that he could love already because dead mom and shit but it's glee so loopholes yolo)
Still, sometimes he found himself wondering what Blaine could be like but then he thought that blaine would never be able to live up to the fantasy kurt had of blaine or something we don't know either we're not fucking mind readers
Still he kissed him on a Thursday night in his bedroom but then he realized OH SUGAR HONEY ICE TEA THAT"S NOT BLAINE! It's Quinn (oh shit he roofied the wrong person again shoot(last time he roofied ms pillsbury instead of mr shue and ended up getting her pregnant and then he to abort thebaby in order to make sure the baby wasn't black)! He didn't know how he didn't notice the lack of eyebrows and bowties sooner. How could he not know the difference between his true love and some random slut? Like how could he notice the difference between Quinn and Blaine? Between true love and a slut.
He prefered sluts anyway.
Soetimes people would say he was a ugly fellow but then he would think oh life is hard fr the visually impaired. Poor little Unique he wished he wouldn't of had to kill her (or him or it or whatever he cut his dick off anyway so he really was a girl now finally his dreams) when he told blaine aboutit though they got married and bought a little house on the prairie
Than one time blaine went out to buy some extra small condoms and got ran over by a big fucking bus but he lived! What a miracle! Then Kurt backed out of his parkinglot and ran him over again this time he really was dead as kurt was hunched over his little slut's body he whispered to himself,
"i knew you were trouble when you walked in! But that's not what i wanted to say" he paused dramtically before he cried and cired and cried before yelling,
"I JUST BACKED UP MY CAR BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE BECAUSE THEN I'LL HAVE A HEARTATTACK AND MY DAD HAD ONE AND THEN HE HAD CANCER AND DIDN'T DIE SO I DON'T KNOW WHY I WAS AFRAID AND I GUESS I SHOULD GO FIND MYSELF A SHOVEL BECAUSE I'M AT WALLMART AND I DON'T WANNA BE SEEN HERE ALIVE! "
Kurt lived happily ever after in prison with a bar of soap ;)
….The end….
Pls leave a review it would mean oh fucking tio me, bro! And to kurt and blaiune i love em so much wish i could marry fictional characters but i just think that dead is more traumatic and dramatic and tragic and so is kLIANE!