Me & You Together

He could feel it. He could feel the ripple of energy coursing through his stippling veins.

'Wearing thin.'

The familiar phrase he uttered in the tranquility of his lonely TARDIS, with the lights dim and faded to black. The last time it was this gloomy and quiet was when it had become his storm room, a billion years of black and blue luminescent lights in aid of helping his marred, conflicted mind. This time they were telling him softly that the panic was over. He could almost see the golden ichor running underneath his paper thin skin as he lifted a waxy hand to satisfy his inspection. A twitch of the lips conveyed every emotion, of memory and loss and sadness and happiness, the most bittersweet pain. Another companion gone, another adventure at an end. He distantly remembered the last time, a quick, sharp regeneration that had messed up the entirety of his brain. He remembered the sweet, innocent woman before him with her doleful, crying eyes that were affecting his own. He remembered her cries of plea, begging him not to change and yet it was futile; with a last devotional look to his faithful companion he had lit up fully. He had wanted to take her reaching hand one last time but he couldn't hurt her. Everything came to a stop as he gave one more everlasting smile. And then it happened, a stranger wearing his face and his clothes, a shocked and confused woman standing before him he at first couldn't recognise.

He smiled fondly at the addled memory, coming to the conclusion that it would be the last time. The last chance he would have of finding her.

He strode toward the telepathic circuits, seeing her face clearly in front of him, thinking so intently about her it hurt his head to venture into that unknown realm of forgotten adventures. Some he had remembered and relived. Some had been lost since the moment he passed out from the memory wipe, but one thing was for certain: he could remember her.

And that was all that mattered. The TARDIS rocked furiously, sputtering it's way across the stars to where she would be. He had considered doing this since the moment he realised it was the waitress painted on his TARDIS, but as well as the destruction of the universe, he knew deep down that she would have wanted him to move on. And he did. He had found another lovely companion, one that had earned a respectable place in his life and had been a relieving joy to be around and adventure with. But it was the Impossible Girl who had taken up the space in his hearts.

Finally, after what seemed like an age he landed, and as he turned toward the doors, he paused. His hands fidgeted just as hers had done, another trait he had picked up and remembered in time. He stared intently at them, afraid of what might await him on the other side. He forced himself to move, to remind himself this was his very last chance. Taking a breath he opened them, and with a hammering at his hearts he stood outside the familiar American diner that had invaded his dreams countless times. He was overjoyed that he had managed to find it, but also overcome with nerves. He stared back at his TARDIS, parked directly opposite the diner and he no longer hesitated. Marching in, he stopped at the sight of her. Just as she had been, just as she was. Large, warm brown eyes and hair let loose around her shoulders. As she faced him he tried not to cry, realising she hadn't aged at all, completely frozen, unchanged. The nostalgia came flooding back to him in that one second and he sniffed in his euphoria.

It had been so long, too long. It was like he was seeing her for the first time again.

'Clara.' He said softly, her name sounding sacred on his tongue.

'Doctor?' She said, those eyes dilating in the same joy and disbelief he was bearing. She stepped closer to him in amazement, face lighting up as she gently caressed the lapel of his velvet wine-coloured jacket, as if to check she wasn't hallucinating.

He smiled down at her, as she took the other lapel in hand, a grin appearing on her face.

'Doctor!' She shouted jovially, embracing him so tightly it nearly shocked the breath out of him. Regardless, he grasped her further, a grin widening so much he thought his mouth would drop off. It was so, so good to see her. It was unbelievable to hold her again in his arms, feel her short stature up against his and to stare at her beautiful eyes shining up at him. It was a while before they parted, and Clara's face suddenly comprehended the reason he was there.

'You're leaving me.' She stated, her hand cupping his cheek just as she had years ago.

'I never left.' He told her, smiling serenely down at her while his hand rested over hers. He slowly took hold of her fingers, holding them in front of him blessedly.

'The universe needs us both to die.' He said, his tone turning darker.

She nodded in understanding.

'I'm so glad you remembered me. I never thought you would.'

'Of course I remembered. Since that message appeared magically on my blackboard and I saw the painting on my TARDIS. I don't think I could ever forget you, my Impossible Girl.'

She looked close to tears as he quoted her own words back to her, and he smiled, her reaction warming his hearts.

'Can we do this together?' She asked, and her face was so beautiful and inviting he couldn't say no.

'Of course.' He nodded.

He gently held out his hand and she took it gladly.

'My TARDIS or yours?' He asked.

'I want to die travelling with you, Doctor. I want to travel with you in your TARDIS, one last time.'

'Our TARDIS.'

They entered the blue police box, and Clara grinned at the interior, all the details she had missed so very dearly. As she bounded up to the console, the Doctor took her hand, and together they pulled the lever, like so many other times.

Their last journey together, the last adventure, the last time they could clasp hands and hold on to the shaking console.

They landed at Gallifrey, taking their time toward the extraction chamber as if to avoid the inevitable.

Once there, the Doctor managed to time travel them back to that moment on Trap Street, to when they were still in each other's lives. To that moment that had broke his hearts from one second to the next.

'Here we are.'

'At the end of the road.' She finished, staring at the street, frozen in time.

'The long way round.' He smiled.

A pause, in which both members locked eyes and couldn't look away. They stared at what seemed to be each other's soul, drawing out the moment.

'It's been a pleasure travelling the stars with you, Clara Oswald.'

'And you too, Doctor.'

'The universe is a difficult and harsh place. I know it needed us to be apart but I would have gladly run away from it all with you. Yet despite, I'm glad we had our time, anyway.'

'Do you remember all of it?'

'Looking at your face now, everything seems to be coming back to me. Every memory, every day, every smile, every tear. You know, this regeneration has made me think of my last one.' He explained, and a burst of emotion clouded her face.

'I remember it too, so clearly. I was heartbroken, Doctor, you have to understand that. I was absolutely heartbroken you had changed. But you're the same person, and that was all that mattered. In a way, this is much better, because we're both leaving each other this time.'

The Doctor couldn't argue with that. As they were still talking about memories, a very prominent one popped into his mind and out of the blue, he shared it.

'I even remember the Cloisters now.'

Clara raised her eyebrows in surprise.

'You do?'

He nodded softly, giving her a shy grin.

'That memory at least will never fade.'

It became unbearable to look at her face and he could hardly speak with the lump in his throat so instead leaned down for a hug. The last hug, the last exchange of words. It was going too fast.

'I don't want you to go.' He whispered.

'Everyone must face the raven in the end, Doctor.'

'I know.' He said solemnly, taking her hand once again.

'Don't forget me, clever boy. And don't forget to run.'

'I won't.' He promised, kissing her hand. 'Goodbye Clara Oswald.'

Another smile, one that scorched into his brain, that parting grin of hope and desperation and confidence. Such beautiful bravery, such ongoing courage.

'Goodbye Doctor.'

From one moment to the next, her hands dropped from his, despite his attempts to try and hold onto her.

The last look had lived and then passed, like a light slowly fading out. She walked determinedly through that door, back onto the dreaded street that had caused all of his madness and heartsbreak in the first place.

And he watched her die. Which had happened a few times to be completely honest, but this one was so final and complete he found it hard not to break down. He gazed over her figure, standing there outstretched while the raven passed through her and she fell like an angel to the floor. He could almost see her in the same way he had by that door again, time at last restored and pain once again renewed.

It was like he had lost her all over again. He finally turned away, the same agony spreading through his body at watching her die, but this time he didn't have to feel it for long. He traipsed back across the sandy landscapes back to his lone TARDIS, where he would retreat back into its friendly, hexagonal walls like every other time. It seemed to become a running theme. To always, always, return back to the TARDIS. And then let it happen.

He could feel it grow stronger now; he couldn't doubt that.

'Everything I've seen and done in this regeneration, I hope the next one is just as good.' He imparted aloud, his Scottish accent echoing off the walls.

'I am the Doctor. I've always been aware of that, but unsure of whether I earned that title, whether I lived up to every expectation and rule I had set myself. I've broken my rules, I understand that. I've pushed the limits of time, I've seen the end of the universe, seen the stars burn and the fires flare, seen my worst fears and my best friends, my losses and my victories, and that's as much as I'll ever see again in this face. Am I a good man? Who knows. But I know that my name is the Doctor, and the Doctor I'll be for as long as I'm still breathing.'

His soliloquy ended with an intense glare and furrow of the eyebrows at the roundels and bookcases, the blackboards and cloister bells.

Not long now.

Observing it now light up his skin, he smiled and closed his eyes, feeling the freely flowing energy rush through his body, slowly reaching his face. He knew he was fully alight now, his fingertips cracking and features starting to slowly change. It had been a day like no other, one full of goodbyes and last times for everything. But from the second he was still a grey-haired old man his thoughts turned to Clara, the woman who had been there for him throughout the entirety of his life. Clara Oswald, as imprinted clearly as it was written in the constellations of the stars. His mouth widening, his mind going slack, the next moment he was a new person, renewed, changed, oblivious then to its former just moments ago. While there had been countless endings, there was always enough hope for beginnings. And Clara Oswald may be dead, but her legacy and spirit lived on inside him. Even with a new face.