Of Love and Loyalty
Author's Note: For San.
The stream of mourners had long since gone and still Princess Ashe knelt beside the final resting place of her new and late husband Lord Rasler. She cared not for who saw her, crying tears for a future that was supposed to have given hope to both their countries, not even for the comforting voices of her attendants, the Priest, or even her father. They had long gone as well, having other duties to attend and knowing she was not likely to leave her current position.
The hours passed and soon her shadow was the only one amongst the many spirit lights that lined the altar. A slight noise reminded her she was not completely alone. Her near-constant companion during the funeral procession and loyal guardian, whose presence she took comfort in, stood not far away. Basch.
Ashe had been aware of his comings and goings, feeling apprehensive when he wasn't around. She knew his absences were not trivial. He was, after all, a highly regarded officer of the Order, no doubt planning an offense and defense against those who had made her a widow, on the very day she had been a bride. But was it all for naught?
Despair threatened to overwhelm her once more but was staved off as she noticed the presence of more individuals in the cathedral. Pall bearers.
Basch stepped forward, his boots unusually loud on the marble.
"My Lady, it is time."
She nodded imperceptibly. Rasler would be interred in the royal family's tomb. This she'd known, yet she'd wanted to hold onto this moment, unwilling to let go of her and her kingdom's future so soon.
Basch helped her to her feet and nodded at the pall bearers who noiselessly gathered on either side of Rasler's burial vessel and activated the mechanism that would aid their movement. Ashe watched, leaning slightly on Basch's arm, long after the pall bearers left her sight.
After a long moment, Basch spoke. "You should rest, Your Highness."
She nodded and turned. She made it two steps before her legs gave out. Sadness, pain, despair, hunger, fatigue, and the results of kneeling for many hours took their toll.
"Are you all right?"
"I..." Ashe tried again, staggering.
In one movement, Basch gathered her up in his arms, cradling her close. Ensuring none of her many robes and shrouds would hinder their movement, he left the cathedral, careful not to jostle the princess.
By the time he reached her chamber doors, Ashe was fast asleep. Basch staunchly ignored the pointed looks her attendants gave him as he approached.
"Her Highness has mourned herself into exhaustion," he said by way of greeting.
The head attendant, a plump, stern-faced, older woman glared at the Captain before allowing him to cross the threshold into the princess's chambers. It seemed the most prudent choice, if not the most inappropriate, as none of the attendants were in any position to carry the princess themselves.
Basch kept his eyes focused on his task, not allowing himself to be distracted by the stares and whispers he could hear as he ventured further into the princess's chambers. It would do no good making comments of any sort, he knew.
The doors to the bed chamber were already open as Basch approached. His steps unintentionally slowed. The room was vast, fitting for a princess. The lighting was muted, earthy tones to be easy on the eyes in the nighttime. The bed itself was humongous, shrouded in many layers of sheer material. The entire chamber spoke volumes of the princess's position and virtue. Basch suddenly felt self-conscious of his intrusion, hoping he hadn't tarnished the princess's good name by his very presence.
But, no matter, he had a duty to perform and he would accomplish it with the utmost dignity and respect.
He approached the bed, noticing the attendants had already pushed the canopy to one side and turned down the bedding. Gently, he placed Princess Ashe upon the pure white linens and straightened. Basch turned to leave, aware of the head attendant watching him with hawkish eyes, but his gaze remained on the princess's sleeping face a half moment longer than it normally would have.
The head attendant made a disapproving noise and Basch's eyes met hers in challenge. Another moment passed and Basch bowed slightly to the older woman before hastily retreating. He heard the doors close quickly but quietly after him.
--
Basch had just left another planning meeting with the King and the Generals when he spotted one of Princess Ashe's attendants running around in search of something.
"You there," he called out, concerned something may have happened to the princess. "For what are you searching?"
The young girl hesitated, looking at the floor. "We cannot find her, Sir."
Basch raised an eyebrow, alarmed. "You...lost the princess?"
The girl nodded, sheepish.
"Captain," a voice called behind him. Basch turned and nodded to the other man, Vossler.
"You'd best find her...and quickly," he said, wanting to search for the princess himself.
The attendant nodded before skittering off.
"What was that all about?" Vossler asked.
"Nothing of consequence," Basch lied.
The princess's absence would no doubt cause Vossler much grief, Basch knew. As one of two remaining members of the Dalmascan royal family, both Basch and Vossler knew how imperative it was for the King and the princess to survive. But Basch also knew Vossler was very...direct...an attitude he did not feel would benefit the princess's current state of mind.
The two captains talked strategy for a while but Vossler became increasingly aware that Basch's attention was not completely there.
"Basch," Vossler called when the other man had failed to respond to a question for the second time. "You are distracted."
"My apologies, Vossler. I find myself worrying about...the princess."
"The princess?"
Basch nodded.
Vossler placed a hand on his colleague's shoulder.
"You must not blame yourself for Rasler's death."
The comment caught Basch off guard.
"I...should have protected him."
"You did the best you could, Basch. Dalmasca still has the king and the princess. Dalmasca will prevail, I am sure of it."
"You are right," Basch conceded. "We must be strong. For their sake."
"For the sake of Dalmasca."
Basch nodded, then changed the subject, choosing his words carefully. "Given the resources Dalmasca still has, I feel our plan is the best we can make of it. We shall present this to the generals in the morning."
Vossler nodded. "Until the morning." And then he was gone, leaving Basch to his thoughts.
To say he'd been avoiding thinking about Rasler's death would have been somewhat inaccurate, but not completely. He'd brought the slain lord home in a half-daze, replaying the battle in his mind countless times. He should have been the one to perish, not Rasler. If he'd saved the boy, the princess would not now be grieving. If he'd saved the boy, the kingdom would not be wallowing in despair.
Basch blinked and was surprised to find himself back at the cathedral, a familiar figure kneeling at the altar.
"Your Highness," he called out, not wishing to startle her. "Your attendants are worried at your absence."
He walked towards her, slowly. A single spirit light stood before her and he saw she still wore her mourning veil.
She said nothing and Basch stood to her side, waiting for a response.
"I keep thinking...if I stay here, perhaps the gods will be merciful and spare Dalmasca."
Basch stayed silent.
"My heart wishes for that, but my mind knows the truth."
"My Lady, do not despair. Dalmasca is strong."
"Dalmasca is strong in spirit, Captain. Our forces are not as mighty as the Archadians. We all know this, yet we must not falter. Still...am I...weak...for thinking we are throwing our lives away? That Rasler's death will become insignificant in the face of the death of a kingdom?"
"No, Your Highness," Basch immediately replied. "Recognizing your own vices is not a sign of weakness."
Ashe turned, then, and smiled at him.
"Dalmasca is honored to have such a loyal soldier within her ranks, Captain. We are...grateful you joined us."
Basch said nothing, could not, as her eyes held his.
"Will you escort me back to my chambers?"
Ashe's widened eyes matched his, leading Basch to believe she was as surprised she asked as he was of the request.
"Of course," he replied, bowing.
They walked in silence, he a half step behind and to the side of her as was his place, being lower in rank. He regarded her silently, aware that she looked so frail and thin.
"Your Highness," he began. "If I may be so bold...you must take care of yourself."
Ashe didn't answer immediately. The silence between them stretched and Basch was certain she wouldn't reply when she spoke. "It seems...dishonorable to lavish wealth on myself when my kingdom is dying."
A hand on her elbow stopped her and Ashe turned to face the Captain.
"Princess, you must not despair," he pleaded. "Your well-being, and your father's, is as integral to the overall well-being of the kingdom as the number of our troops or our people."
Ashe cast her eyes down, staring at the marble. "I know you are right, but I cannot help but feel guilty nonetheless. The kingdom is falling, its people beaten, yet here I am, in this...grand palace, protected from the evils of the world. It seems...unfair."
Basch smiled slightly and unconsciously laid a hand on her shoulder. "Your compassion is felt by all the people, Your Highness. It will bolster them and remind them that Dalmasca is not yet dead, nor will it be so long as you and the king are well."
She stared up at him, then, searching his eyes for the strength and conviction she no longer felt. The moment stretched and Basch found his fingers itching to touch the soft skin that was so near to his hand.
"Your attendants are waiting," he whispered.
Ashe nodded and turned again, pulling away from him with reluctance.
The rest of their journey was conducted in silence and Basch once again stared down the head attendant as they approached the princess's chambers.
"You would do well not to lose track of her again, ma'am," he said prior to leaving. Basch could have sworn the princess's lips twitched into a brief smile.
Ashe watched the Captain go, mindlessly following the attendants as they ushered her inside.
"It is not appropriate to be seen with another man so soon after your husband's burial, My Lady," the head attendant chastised.
Instead of becoming depressed over the reminder, however, Ashe just smiled brightly at the woman.
"He is a brave and loyal servant of Dalmasca, Milly, just as you are."
"No," Milly muttered when the princess was out of earshot. "That man will cause you pain. You don't understand how he looks at you, but you will. I only pray he has more sense to avoid further complications than you."
--
Basch and Vossler found it much more difficult to explain their strategy to the generals than originally anticipated. Some wanted all offense. Some wanted all defense. Still others wanted to...move the entire kingdom.
In the end, the king sided with the two captains and the pair spent the majority of the day mapping out the troop formations. By the time they were done, it was late evening.
"Tomorrow, we employ our plan," Vossler said as the two walked towards the Order's quarters. "I only hope it is enough."
"The Archadian army is vast," Basch murmured. "I fear anything we do will pale in comparison to what the Archadians will have in store for us."
"I agree, but we must fight."
"For the people."
"For Dalmasca."
Basch nodded and the rest of their walk continued in silence.
"I bid you goodnight, my friend," Vossler said, giving Basch a nod of the head as he went to his quarters.
Basch merely returned the motion before heading to his own room, lost in thought.
Sleep was never easy for him, not since he'd become a soldier, and this night was no different. What sleep he did get was plagued with nightmares, memories of things that had happened and twisted images of what could have happened.
Rasler, shot to his death in front of his eyes countless times.
King Raminas's eyes at the sight of his now dead son-in-law, but with a twist as the royal looked at him, blaming him.
Dalmasca, in flames, the people screaming.
Running through the streets of Dalmasca, in search of the baby he could hear crying, but never being able to find it, the enemy closing fast.
The princess, reaching for him as an unseen enemy's sword came down upon her.
The last dream brought him full awake, gasping for breath, his sheets sweat-soaked.
To his dismay, Basch discovered it had been a mere three hours since he'd laid down to sleep. He would get no more rest that night.
He stared at his face in the mirror over the wash basin, having just scrubbed it with cold water. Even he realized he looked haunted. The confines of the room suddenly became too much for him and Basch left, not thinking about where he was going.
Not surprisingly, he found himself in the cathedral. It was dark. He grabbed a spirit light from the entrance and activated it, using it to guide his way to the altar. Kneeling, he said the appropriate words to ensure the dead's easy passage to the afterlife. And then Basch just stared, focusing his attention on the dim light, letting everything else in his mind go.
He felt calm. The inner turmoil he'd experienced earlier seemed to drift away, replaced by...contentment. Basch now understood the look of peace he'd seen on the princess's face.
"Captain Basch?"
As if summoned by his thought, Princess Ashe appeared by his side. He glanced over his shoulder and willed his eyes not to wander. She appeared to be in just her sleep clothes, which consisted of many layers of sheer white material, a light shawl draped over her slender shoulders. The spirit light in her hands gave her an otherworldly glow and Basch thought, not for the first time, how beautiful and innocent she looked.
"My Lady," he greeted, standing and bowing. "I shall leave you to your prayers."
"No, wait," she said, stepping forward and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Please. Don't go. We can...pray together."
"As you wish."
She knelt beside him and for a long moment, neither of them spoke, seemingly absorbed in their own thoughts.
"Do you think...they're at peace?"
"'They', Your Highness?"
"Lord Rasler. The many who have perished since this accursed war began."
"I would like to think they are in a better place than this," Basch replied.
"I as well," she murmured.
Silence fell between them once more.
"Captain..."
"Yes, Your Majesty?"
"Are...are you...well?"
Basch's eyes widened in surprise.
"I just...I realize I have been caught up in my own sorrow these past few days. But you were there when Lord Rasler died...when Nalbina Fortress fell. Surely that must cause some...distress?"
Basch still said nothing.
"I'm...I'm sorry. It is a personal question, I should not have asked."
"No, it's all right. I was just...surprised."
Ashe nodded.
"I would be lying if I said the events at Nalbina Fortress did not affect me. I cannot help but think I could have done more for Lord Rasler," Basch said. "Or, failing that, taken his place."
"Taken his place? You mean..."
"Yes. I was responsible for Lord Rasler's well-being and I...failed. I should have been the one to perish, not him."
"I don't believe that, Captain."
Basch raised an eyebrow.
Ashe looked away, uncomfortable under his scrutiny. "It's not that I wish Lord Rasler dead. But I believe you did nothing less than your best and the gods, seeing Rasler fall, gave you the protection you needed to bring his body back."
"Perhaps," Basch remarked, his eyes turned back to the spirit light. "Still, I cannot help but think there is something I should have done to prevent his demise."
"The enemy is strong, Captain," Ashe said.
He could do nothing but nod in agreement.
"You should return to your chambers, My Lady. Your attendants will be worried."
Ashe sighed.
"Is something the matter?"
"I know they are only doing their jobs, as are you, but sometimes I feel a bit..."
"Stifled?"
"Yes," she finished, looking down at her hands in shame. "I should not feel this way. I should feel grateful for their duty. Yet..."
Basch wanted to tell her that she, too, had a duty to her people and her country and that part of her duty was her reputation and image, both of which were in danger of becoming tarnished by being seen with him.
"When I am with my attendants, I know I am safe, but I do not feel...free."
"Majesty..."
"When I am with you, when I talk with you, I feel both: safe and free. Is that so wrong?"
"Majesty," Basch tried again.
"But then, I remember my training," Ashe interrupted in a rush. "I know it is...inappropriate to be with you, under any circumstance, and especially so soon after both my wedding and my husband's death."
"Your Majesty," Basch cut in, voice firm.
It was her turn to raise an eyebrow at him for addressing her so forcefully.
"My apologies for interrupting, but I feel I must...express my opinion. It is true you have a duty and a reputation to uphold," he began, holding her eyes. "But you must also remember who you are."
"I am Princess Ashe," she said. "The only remaining heir to the throne of Dalmasca."
Basch shook his head. "Princess Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca is more than just a member of the royal family. She is a person. The duties of your station are, indeed, important. But the duty you have to yourself is as well. Equally, if not more so."
"You believe I must be true to myself in order to fulfill my role as the heir to the kingdom?"
"I do."
Ashe smiled at him, then, shyly. Here was the one person in all the land who saw her as more than just this untouchable, fragile thing. The one person who treated her with respect and dignity not because he was obligated to, though she was sure he would do so, but because he believed she deserved it. And that, more than anything, made her feel like a real person.
"I do as well."
Basch returned her smile and then stood, offering his hand.
"In any case, you should return to your quarters, and I to mine."
Ashe nodded and took his hand, but this time, instead of letting go when she was fully on her feet, she surprised him and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, daring him to protest.
Basch opened his mouth as if to say something, but the look in her eyes was challenging and who was he to take on the princess of the kingdom he'd sworn to protect?
They fell into step as they left the cathedral, stopping momentarily at the entrance to dispose of their spent spirit lights. The trip down the now familiar corridor was conducted in silence, each enjoying the other's presence.
Basch wondered at how easily they walked together. There was no awkward moment of misstep, of one party leading the other.
And that was what worried him.
His little speech in the cathedral was highly unorthodox. Vossler would definitely not have approved and would chastise him for getting too emotionally attached to the royal family. They'd had such a discussion before and, in the end, had agreed to disagree.
Vossler's philosophy was to keep his view of the royal family as objective as possible. If there was a hostage situation, he'd said by way of example, it would be better to be able to make decisions without wondering about the emotional impact. Basch had argued his approach was too cold, that compassion had its place in what they did.
But, no matter. Vossler was not there and Basch was not about to report his goings on to the other man. There were, after all, no rules dictating Order members to know each other's lives intimately.
As they approached the final hallway, Ashe's step began to slow.
"Is something the matter, My Lady?"
Ashe didn't answer, resisting the urge to chew on her lower lip as she'd done as a younger girl.
"Your...head attendant will no likely be wishing she had dagger training."
Ashe quickly looked away and put a hand to her mouth, trying to keep from laughing out loud.
"You know Milly too well, Captain," she managed after a moment.
"She is only doing her duty."
"I know and I do appreciate it. Perhaps it would be best if I finished the journey alone."
"As you wish," Basch said with a bow.
But neither of them made a move.
"Well."
"Well."
"Good night, Captain. May...may we meet again, soon."
"As Her Majesty wishes," he replied, bowing deeply.
Ashe turned, then, and headed to her chambers. The urge to look back tugged at her with every step, but she remembered the captain's words. She was not that kind of woman. She had been raised to be strong and to commit to her decisions and she would continue to do so, for her country and for herself. Ashe did, however, feel a little down at the pang in her heart.
--
"They what?!" Vossler exclaimed.
The early morning sunlight streamed through the war room and the gathered generals looked as shocked as Vossler sounded.
"The Archadian Empire has sent us...correspondence," King Raminas intoned.
"What kind of...correspondence?" Basch asked, immediately suspicious.
"A...treaty."
"A treaty implies peace between two parties," Basch mused.
Silence filled the room and the mood darkened as everyone reached the same conclusion to the treaty's real purpose: surrender.
"Preposterous."
"Arrogant bullies!"
"How dare they!"
The protests echoed throughout the chamber but Raminas's gaze never left those of his two trusted captains.
"What do you make of this gesture, Majesty?" Vossler asked slowly.
"Surely you don't think the king will give in!" came several voices.
Raminas waited for the rumblings to die down.
"Gentlemen, we must be realistic. The Archadian army outnumbers us greatly. While the plan Captain Basch and Captain Vossler have created is sound, it still lacks the key resources needed to defeat an invading army."
"Then we should focus more on offense, as I'd said before!" an indignant voice called out.
"Not even all of Dalmasca and Nabudis's combined forces would be enough, Generals," Basch's voice boomed, slightly irritated. "Don't fool yourselves into thinking otherwise. Had we those resources, we likely could serve Archadia a harsh blow, but where would that leave us?"
No one answered.
"We would be left with little to defend ourselves when the Archadians returned with reinforcements," the king finished.
"Your Majesty, you cannot give up!"
"Dalmasca cannot be given over to the Empire!"
"If we all die while protecting our kingdom, so be it!"
"ENOUGH."
Silence reigned again as the king's voice echoed harshly off the stone.
"It would be foolish to lead an entire kingdom to its death purely for the sake of pride," he said, voice calmer. "I will think on the matter. They have given us two days to answer. You may leave."
As the generals filed out, the king beckoned for the captains to remain.
"Basch, Vossler, I thank you for your efforts. Do not believe your plan was worthless."
"Yes, Majesty," they replied in unison.
"I fear no matter what decision I make, the future of the House of Dalmasca is in grave danger. I wish to make a request of you both."
"Anything, Majesty," Basch offered. Vossler nodded his concurrence.
"Do not answer so quickly as you do not know what I have to ask. I ask this as a man, a father, and not as a king. I have already lost all my family save the princess. She must be protected at all costs. She must not be taken by the Archadians, nor should she perish in whatever conflict awaits."
The two men nodded but remained silent.
"So, I ask of you: will you protect her? Should the worst happen and Dalmasca fall, she will no longer be a royal. She will be a citizen of the Empire like everyone else and thus you will not be obligated to be loyal to her. But I ask you two, because I trust you with my life and the life of this kingdom."
"You have my vow, Your Majesty," Basch immediately said.
"And mine as well," Vossler agreed.
King Raminas smiled.
"Thank you," he said. "I could not have asked for two finer men in my employ."
--
The palace seemed to be in a state of waiting as the king weighed his options. Basch and Vossler continued with their normal Order duties, training their men, practicing their own battle formations, and ensuring they could defend Dalmasca to the best of their ability should the Archadians launch a surprise attack.
The next afternoon, the king called for an audience in the war room.
"I have reviewed the terms Archadia has given us," he said, addressing the generals and the captains. "They are...unsatisfactory."
"Then we will fight?"
"No, not yet. I have called for negotiations. The Empire has agreed. They will take place tomorrow."
"Negotiations for what?"
"For the future of Dalmasca."
There were no more questions or comments after that statement.
--
Basch had just finished getting his things together for the trip the next day when a tentative knock came at his door. He was surprised to find a young attendant girl standing outside, looking furtively from side to side.
"Yes?"
"Please, Captain," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "The princess, she is not well."
Alarmed, Basch followed the girl without a second's thought and soon found himself once more staring down the head attendant.
"I want you to know I don't approve of you being here," Milly said, hands on her hips.
"I assure you, ma'am, my intentions are honorable."
"You're a man, I highly doubt that. But I do know the princess is...better...in your presence."
Basch stared at the woman.
"What, exactly, is wrong with the princess?"
"I'm...not really sure. She won't eat, she won't sleep, she won't do anything but sit at her window and...wallow."
"How long?"
"Since news of the treaty came in," Milly supplied.
"That's nearly two days!" Basch balked.
Milly gave him one more fierce glare then bid him entrance to the inner chamber...and soundly closed the door behind him, leaving him completely alone with the princess.
"Your Majesty?" he called softly.
He could see her by the window, just as Milly had said. She seemed to just be...sitting...staring at nothing. Basch approached slowly, not wanting to startle her if she hadn't heard him.
When he came within arm's reach, Ashe reached for his hand and he let her take it.
"Is it true? Is my father going to meet with the Archadians tomorrow?"
Basch nodded.
"You...you're going, too?"
"I am."
"Then you will protect him."
"Of course," Basch promised.
Ashe looked down, then, pulling Basch's hand to her cheek.
"Will he...give Dalmasca up if they ask?"
"I know not," Basch admitted, kneeling to look up into the princess's face. "The king is not so foolish as to enter into a war he knows he cannot win. But he is also a proud Dalmascan and will fight for anything and everything he can get from the Archadians, that I know."
Ashe nodded, unwilling to speak. She was ashamed she showed such weakness, especially in front of Basch. But, as he'd said, she was a person.
"I...I must be strong," she whispered.
"You are strong."
"Then why do I worry, why do I cry?"
"Because you are his daughter."
Ashe's eyes flew open and she stared at Basch. She seemed surprised that he vocalized what the whole kingdom had been thinking. The king was her last remaining family and tomorrow, he would essentially be going into enemy territory, possibly never to return.
The tears came freely, then, though she tried mightily to stop them. Her thin body shook and the fatigue that had been with her throughout the week rendered her unable to support herself and she fell over.
Basch, of course, was there to catch her and Ashe clung to him, grateful for his presence.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be."
And once again, Basch took her in his arms and carried her to her bed.
Ashe stared up at him as he arranged the covers and pillows around her. A feeling of desperation overcame her and she reached for his hand once more, refusing to let go.
"Don't go. Please."
"I will stay, Majesty," he murmured.
"Sit with me."
"Majesty--"
"Please?" she asked, voice tiny.
Basch stared at her, realizing just how young she was, and nodded, perching on the edge of her bed.
"My Lady, this is highly inappropriate."
"I know."
"If your attendant came in, she would flay me."
"I know."
Basch stopped speaking, then, and focused on her eyes. She was scared...more scared than he'd ever seen her and before he knew what he was doing, his hand moved to caress her cheek.
Ashe's eyes fluttered shut and she leaned into his touch. His mind reminded him of his place, urging him to pull away. But this time, he ignored it. She was hurting and she needed comfort…his comfort.
She opened her eyes again and smiled up at him in thanks. The silence stretched between them, each knowing words would ruin the moment. Her eyes traced the outline of his face from the soft tufts of hair on his chin to the long strands that framed his face and the curve of his nose. She realized she was staring a moment too late and looked away, mentally chastising herself as she felt heat in her cheeks.
Still they said nothing and finally Ashe raised her eyes and locked with his. Basch smiled slightly, as if to tell her everything was all right, his hand still upon her cheek.
"Thank you," she whispered and he knew she'd spoken on purpose, breaking the spell.
"Sleep, my princess," he murmured, smoothing her hair with his hand.
Ashe squeezed his hand once then closed her eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.
When she awoke the next day, he was gone.
That night, Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca lost everything she'd ever held dear. That night, a little part of her died at the news of Basch's treason. Her world would never be the same.