Title: Plush Rival
Author: Virande
Pairing: Raimundo Pedrosa x Kimiko Tohomiko
Fandom: Xiaolin Showdown
Rating: E
Theme: #02 - Sweet
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing and make no profit out of these.
Warning: Some spoilers for "The Dream Stalker".

It was all an ill-intentioned ambush. They'd been at it for what felt like hours and he still didn't want to cooperate.

"Raimundo: Hannibal Bean has been twisting people's heads around for centuries. Centuries. Better men than you have gotten bent out of shape. If you don't want us to go into your head and sweep every last corner for traces of him, stop playing hard to get and open up already! It's not like you're keeping some deep, dark secret-"

"No. No to all of the above."

"How can you be sure he hasn't got you set to pull a chainsaw on us or something?"

"Because."

She was strongly tempted to slam his head against the wall until he became more obliging. Or until he collapsed: whatever happened first.

"Are you absolutely, positively sure?"

"Yes, I am sure! I've been saying so for the past half hour! Have you been listening to me, Kim? Do I need to spell it out? Raimundo well. Raimundo not need psychotherapy…"

Green eyes were boring into her from the other side of the room with each heavily punctuated phrase.

"I'm telling you, the bean guy left my head hours ago! Could you trust me for once and-"

"It isn't a matter of trust! Master Monk Guan said Hannibal might've left your brain upturned. Someone has to make sure your head's on right side up, and that someone can't do it if you don't open that humongous mouth of yours. I need to know what's on your mind now and compare it to how it was before." Exhaustion was cutting her fuse dangerously short. Four hours is, most definitely, not enough to make up for a night spent dodging monkeys and nightmare monsters.

"So…you're telling me that you know what I'm thinking about most of the time?" He almost smiled (it was the smug smile, though, and that one always made her kind of angry).

"No."

"Then?"

"Drew the short straw." Besides the fact that the other two still can't prop their eyes open for more than a split second.

"Ah…" He was kind of disappointed by her answer, but she wasn't about to start consoling the cause of her itchy eyes and foul mood.

"It can't be that complex anyway: surf, soccer, besting Omi, surf, soccer, what you might be having for breakfast, surf, soccer, protecting the world from impending doom…hmm…I mentioned surf and soccer before, didn't I?"

His deadpan expression cut the joke short.

Kimiko was fast beginning to lose what little patience she'd managed to rally: was it really that hard for him to give her one small, simple, easily recognized sign of normalcy?

"Is it really that hard to leave my psyche well enough alone?" It certainly seemed like it.

Her eyes flared. Eggs could have burned to a crisp on her forehead. Brazil was about to lose a citizen (they'll thank me for it later).

"Listen up Rai: I'm just about this close to frying you whole. Don't you look smug at me, I'm serious! I'll tell everyone you started talking to the walls or something, that it was a mercy killing and that you should be remembered as a Raimundo the Brave, Uprooter of Evil Bean Invaders and whatnot, but believe you me, I can do it."

The threat seemed to hang in the air…and Raimundo suddenly looked just a little cowed.

Score!

"You could have just used the Mind-Reader Conch on me, you know."

"You'd do something stupid like think insults at me until I lost it and pummeled you senseless."

"Alright, alright, I give up. So, what do you want me to do?"

"Lemme see…uh, give me a brief description of each person I name. The most important facts you can connect to them."

"…That has to be the most ridiculous sanity test I've ever heard of."

She let forth an irate growl. "So you have a better idea, oh astute and not at all addled in the brain Dragon of the Wind? All I need to do is make sure you still know Omi from Clay and that Chase Young isn't your bestest buddy so I can go back to bed…"

"Omi's the small one with the big head, Clay's the big, bulky one who spouts farm wisdom every other minute and Chase Young isn't my bestest buddy. I'd cut Master Fung's toenails before calling on Mr. My-hair's-prettier-than-a-girl's."

"…Oh fine. How about Dojo?" It does sound enough like him.

"Small, Shen Gong Wu-detecting dragon who was doing this very same thing to me earlier. Psychic torture, I mean."

"Master Fung?"

"Our sensei. Vomits proverbs as often as Omi spouts nonsense."

"Wuya?"

"Evil Heylin witch who wants to govern the Earth. Bad person to associate with. Another stupid question, please?"

This is the last one before I declare him a cured man "Kimiko."

"That'd be you, girl. Japanese toy company heiress with a really ugly temper and a wardrobe the size of Asia. 'Course it seems kind of pointless to ask me that if I've been calling you by your name for the half hour of agony I've been suffering here, but then again, who am I to know?"

"That does it: if that doesn't prove you're still Raimundo, nothing does."

She got up in a huff, the anger boiling and hissing like a tea kettle within her head. A certain couple of Dragons had just gotten themselves a nice, lengthy entry in her little black book.

She'd deal with them alright…right after that long-overdue nap.

"Kim! Wait!"

Of all the times he could have chosen to torment me… "What!? Weren't you dying to get rid of me just five seconds ago?"

"You were about to step on Ninja Fred." Sure enough, there he was, her tiny blue slipper hovering over his plush face threateningly.

She couldn't help it. Raimundo's lapses of innocent candor were endearing. Anger considerably diminished, Kimiko picked up Ninja Fred and placed him in Raimundo's open hands.

"It's okay Mr. Teddy, your Daddy's right here." She cooed, making doe-eyes at the stuffed bear. It was a rather cute toy. A simply made little guy, not one bit like the ones she used to get from Dad (she distinctly remembered a pink and purple one that sang five different lullabies), but cute all the same.

"It's Ninja Fred! Ninja Fred, Master of Taijutsu and Donuts! And I'm not his Daddy." He cradled the bear protectively against his cheek, frowning.

"Whatever you say, Rai, I'm off to sleep before Master Monk Guan decides we need training. G'night. And goodnight to you too, Ninja Fred." And she placed a kiss on the bear's head, a hair's width away from Raimundo's face.

She turned and left, thoughts of comfy beds heavy on her mind. She didn't see Raimundo blink, hold the bear out an arm's length away, and give it a slightly annoyed grimace.

"You're lucky you're cute, Fred. I'm not usually this cool to rivals," he gave the bear another look. "Kim's out-of-bounds for you, little dude."

And hugged him close again.